Skyler made decent money as a rescue helicopter pilot for the Los Angeles Fire Department, but Devin made extremely good money as a consultant. She’d once told Skyler that she didn’t even get out of bed for less than $100,000. Skyler didn’t make that in a year, and Devin could quite literally make that in a week. The house in Malibu belonged to Devin. Skyler had moved in with her six months before, but she refused to consider it in any way shape or form hers. It was a constant joke between them.
“Blah, blah, blah…” Skyler said, reaching over to turn up the stereo, only to find that her usual music had been replaced with what she’d consider ‘bubble gum’ music. “What did you do to my iPod?”
Devin chuckled. “The stuff you listen to is too damned dark, you need something upbeat.”
Skyler narrowed her eyes at Devin. “I like my music.” Even so within moments, Devin noticed that Skyler was tapping her hand on the steering wheel in time with the song on the stereo.
Pitbull and Ricky Martin’s “Mr. Put it Down” was playing. Skyler couldn’t resist the beat.
“Careful, babe, you’re almost dancing,” Devin mocked.
“Don’t make me pull this car over,” Skyler said darkly, even as she grinned.
“Yeah, yeah,” Devin said, waving her hand airily.
Chapter 4
The same night of the meeting, Xandy and Quinn had dinner together out in the courtyard as it was a nice evening. Summer was coming, and they both knew that the humidity of the LA summer would likely preclude such evenings in the future.
“I really liked Skyler and Devin,” Xandy said at one point.
Quinn nodded. “Yeah, me too.”
“They just seemed so comfortable together, you know?” Xandy said, her tone wistful.
“Yes they did.”
Something in Quinn’s look told Xandy that there was more to that statement. She cast a sideways glance at Quinn; she’d picked up the habit from the other woman.
“Is your relationship with Valerie like that?”
“Not even close.”
“And that’s okay with you?” Xandy asked, biting her lip in apprehension.
Quinn caught the gesture and wondered at it. Shrugging she shook her head. “Never really thought about it much.”
Xandy’s eyes fell pointedly on the ring containing the Viking runes, meaning ‘dreams of everlasting love,’ and then looked back up into Quinn’s eyes.
Quinn curled her lips in a sardonic grin. “Yeah, I know,” she said in answer to the unspoken question, “it’s just not there with her. But I just don’t have the energy at this point to do anything about it.”
Xandy nodded, accepting the answer. “It would take a lot of energy?”
Quinn chuckled. “Yeah, breaking up in the lesbian world is something to avoid if you don’t have large stores of energy.”
Xandy widened her eyes at that statement. “It’s that hard?”
“It can be.”
Xandy frowned, but didn’t pursue the subject.
“So…” Xandy said hesitantly.
“Wot?” Quinn asked, pushing back her plate and pulling out a cigarette and her lighter.
“How did you know you were gay?” Xandy asked.
Quinn gave a snort of laughter. “How’d you know you were straight?”
Xandy looked shocked by the question, and looked like she was trying to think of an answer.
“I’m sorry,” Quinn said, putting her hand out apologetically, “that was a smart ass lesbian comeback.” Sitting back in her chair she looked reflective. “I grew up with the same movies and shows that everyone did back then, that showed a boy and a girl getting together.” Her green eyes had a faraway look. “I always played with the boys, doing all the same things they did… half the time I’d do better than them. But I guess at the same time the boys were starting to notice me, I was noticing Molly O’Shay down the street,” she said, with a wistful smile.
“Oh my,” Xandy said, smiling sympathetically, “did you ever do anything about that?”
“Oh hell no,” Quinn said looking horrified by the thought, “I’d have been run out of town by a mob with pitchforks and torches.”
Xandy grimaced. Quinn chuckled at the face the other girl was making.
“So, what did that feel like?” Xandy asked, her look curious. “When you noticed Molly?”
Quinn grinned, sighing. “Oh, God it was awful. I absolutely obsessed about the girl. I thought about her constantly; what was she doing? Had she even noticed me? What would I say to her if I could even be brave enough to talk to her? How would that conversation go?” she said, shaking her head at the endless questions she’d had swirling in her head. “I’d watch her in the play yard at break, watching her every move, just fascinated by everything she did, it was maddening. She was a blue-eyed girl, with red hair about two shades darker than mine, she had the cutest freckles…” Her voice trailed off as she shook her head, rolling her eyes. “To this day if I see that same shade of red hair on a girl, my heart skips a beat, thinking it might be her. It’s crazy, because I knew almost nothing about her, she could have been the worst bitch on the planet for all I knew, but the sight of her would make me all nervous and my heart would flutter. It’s stupid,” she said looking embarrassed.
“No,” Xandy said, shaking her head, “she was kind of your first love, right?”
“Even if it was from afar, way far, yeah,” Quinn said..
Xandy nodded, like she was confirming something.
“Were you ever with a man?” Xandy asked, worried that she was getting too personal, but Quinn didn’t seem to mind.
Again Quinn chuckled, looking abashed. “Well,” she said wryly, “technically I made two attempts to be with a guy.”
“Technically?”
Quinn sighed, taking a long drag off her cigarette and leaning back in her chair.
“I knew that I was supposed to like guys, so when I was about fifteen, I gave it a shot with a guy that had been flirting with me for months.”
“How’d that go?”
“It was all arseways,” Quinn said, shaking her head and laughing, in response to Xandy’s blank look. She clarified, “It was a mess.”
“What happened?”
Quinn paused, looking like she was thinking back on the time.
“It started out okay,” she said, sounding circumspect, then she laughed softly, “but when he tried to touch me, you know, the diddies…” She indicated her breasts. “I lost it and punched him so he’d get away from me.”
“Oh my God,” Xandy said, laughing sympathetically.
Quinn blew her breath out, nodding her head. “Yeah, it wasn’t good at all.” She chewed on her lower lip, thinking of the awkward conversation with her brothers when they wanted to know why she’d punched one of their friends in the face.
“I tried again, a few years later, just before I turned eighteen in fact; this guy was kind of a friend, and a lot less aggressive sexually than the other guy. I thought that maybe I just hadn’t liked being pushed, and I figured I’d matured a bit,” she said, shrugging in her retrospection. “That got farther,” she said her face and amused mask, “but as soon as he took off his pants, I was so completely done.” The last was said with a laugh, as she put her hand to her forehead, shaking her head.
“Wow,” Xandy said, grimacing again. “Yeah, it sounds like there was really no hope of heterosexuality for you.”
“Amen!”
Xandy looked back at Quinn for a long few moments; it was obvious she was debating saying something. Quinn waited in silence, smoking her cigarette, her legs stretched out in front of her comfortably.
Xandy pressed her lips together in trepidation, she was indeed wrestling with the desire to say what she had on her mind, but at the same time afraid that Quinn would be angry. Looking at Quinn, she could see the other woman was waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. Well, I’ve gone this far, Xandy thought to herself.
“So I have a confess
ion to make,” Xandy said.
“Okay…”
Xandy twisted the cloth napkin that was in her lap nervously, looking like she’d rather be anywhere else at that moment. “I’ve kind of been obsessing about you,” she said in a rush, then winced not sure what Quinn’s reaction was going to be.
Quinn surprised her by chuckling, and inclining her head. “Okay,” she said simply, as she waited for more information.
Xandy wasn’t sure what to say next. “At first I really thought it was because you were so different from anyone I’d ever met. But it’s not that, and now I’m wondering if it might mean that I’m gay.”
“Other than your fascination with me, what makes you think you might be?”
Xandy was relieved that Quinn not only didn’t seem to be angry or put off by her admission, but that she was actually willing to help her figure this whole matter out. Once again she was grateful to whatever unseen force had put Quinn Kavanaugh in her path.
“Well… what you were saying about Molly, about how you thought about her all the time and watched every move she made,” she said shrugging self-consciously. “That’s what I’ve been doing with you. I’ve been fascinated by the cars, by the music you listen to, the tattoos, the rings…” Xandy’s voice trailed off, as she shook her head and looked away in embarrassment.
Quinn rested her elbow on the table next to her, her chin resting on her thumb, assessing as she watched Xandy talk. She smiled softly when Xandy talked about the tattoos and the rings. Quinn had been surprised by her level of interest in these things, but had dismissed it as simple curiosity of a young person who had never been exposed to such things before.
“I’m crazy, right?” Xandy asked when she’d gotten her embarrassment back under control.
Quinn shook her head, a kind smile on her face.
“No, you’re not crazy. But tell me this…” Quinn said, moving to lean toward Xandy, putting her elbows on her knees. “What’s been your experience with men?”
Xandy looked surprised by the question. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, how many men have you been with?” Quinn asked, gently, especially on the word “been.”
Xandy pursed her lips. “Three.”
“And how did that go?” she asked, repeating the question Xandy had asked her earlier.
Xandy looked pensive, then curled her lips up in disdain.
Finally, she shook her head. “It didn’t go quite as badly as your experiences did, but I never…” she hesitated to use the word ‘orgasm.’
Quinn looked back at Xandy for a long moment, shocked.
“Never?” Quinn asked, sounding as stunned as she looked.
“Nope,” Xandy shrugged.
“That’s just wrong,” Quinn said, disgusted for the men who’d failed the girl so miserably. “What about emotionally? How was that?”
Xandy looked unhappy as she sighed softly. “I just felt like I was just there,” she said, “like no real passion or anything, and sometimes barely even affection for the guy.”
“So you don’t feel like you loved them?”
“No, I mean, I guess not. I really just thought that maybe it was me, and that I was just closed off or that I just didn’t know how love was supposed to feel.”
Quinn winced a little at her description, imaging terms like ‘frigid’ and ‘ice queen’ had been hurled at her by guys who couldn’t get her to respond to them.
“Well,” Quinn said, “I can tell you that while I’ve never been in love with anyone, I have loved some of the women I’ve dated, and you know it when you feel it.”
“What’s the difference between being in love and loving someone?” Xandy asked, having heard people say things like that before, but never understanding what they meant.
“Well, to me,” Quinn said, pulling out another cigarette and lighting it, “being in love is the end all and be all… the ‘everything.’ Loving someone means that you care about them, and what affects them affects you, but it’s not as deep. Does that make sense?” she asked, feeling ill-equipped to describe love.
“Do you love Valerie?”
They’d talked about whether or not Valerie loved her, but never really got to the point of discussing if Quinn loved Valerie.
“No,” Quinn said honestly, “she’s fun, when she’s not being a pain, but sometimes those times are way too few and far between.”
Xandy nodded, noting that she felt relieved by that statement, which made her grimace again.
“Wot?”
Xandy looked immediately contrite. “I, uh…” she stammered, shaking her head in dismay, “I’m glad you don’t love her.”
“Why?” Quinn asked surprised by the admission.
“I guess because she just seems like she…” she began, but hesitated.
Quinn canted her head slightly, taking another drag off her cigarette waiting for Xandy to finish the thought.
Xandy blew her pent up breath in a rush. “She just doesn’t seem like she’s a very nice person.”
Quinn grinned, finding Xandy’s admission both amusing and telling.
“You’re probably right about that,” Quinn said.
Xandy shrugged, looking a bit forlorn, her eyes trained on the ground.
“It’s okay that you don’t like her,” Quinn said, her green eyes sparkling in amusement. “I told you, I don’t like her half the time either.”
Xandy laughed at that, appreciating Quinn’s effort to lighten up the conversation.
After a few moments of silence, Quinn leaned back again, crossing one knee over the other, assessing Xandy.
“I think that maybe you need to explore this,” Quinn said.
“The possibility of being gay?”
“Yeah.”
Xandy nodded, but looked uncertain. She started to say something, but then stopped, twisting the napkin in her lap again.
Quinn canted her head. “Wot?”
Xandy bit her lip, looking both apologetic and tragic at the same time.
“When we were on the ride the other day,” she said, her eyes on the ground in front of her. “I did kind of look around at the women in the group.” She looked up at Quinn. “But all I saw was you.”
Quinn drew in a deep breath, blowing it out slowly, her look resigned. Then she gave Xandy a somber look.
“You know,” Quinn said, her tone conciliatory, “that it’s fairly natural for you to harbor some sort of feeling for me. It comes from the fact that I’m protecting you.”
Xandy looked immediately rebellious at the idea, shaking her head.
“It’s kind of the damsel in distress meets the white knight syndrome, you see me as some kind of protector,” Quinn said.
“I didn’t see Jason as a protector,” Xandy pointed out.
Quinn hesitated, considering that statement, then shook her head. “I dunno, I’m just saying it’s possible, it’s happened before.”
“To you?”
Quinn nodded.
“Was the client gay?”
Quinn’s lips twitched, and she nodded. “Yeah, she was.”
Xandy just nodded, not saying anything else. Shortly after that they cleared off the table and went into the house. On this night, Xandy went into her room. Quinn went to the room next door. It was less than an hour before Quinn heard Xandy call out, but Xandy’s voice was pure terror.
Quinn jumped up, running quickly to Xandy’s room.
“What is it?!”
Xandy pointed at the window, her hand shaking. “There was someone out there.”
Quinn nodded her head, then beckoned Xandy forward. Taking the girl by the arm, Quinn strode back into her room. Reaching into the nightstand, she drew out a nasty looking gun, checking the safety and pulled back the slide to chamber a round.
“Come on,” she said, taking Xandy’s arm again, gently leading her to the front door, and turning she looked down at the girl. “Lock the door behind me, don’t open it until I come back, okay?”
Xan
dy looked terrified, her lips trembling and tears gathering in her eyes. Quinn leaned down, kissed her quickly on the cheek, and pulled back to look down at her. “It’ll be okay, I promise.” With that she was out the door and Xandy did as Quinn had said and locked it.
It was ten nerve-racking minutes later when Quinn rapped on the door. Xandy opened it quickly. Quinn walked inside, shaking her head.
“Didn’t see anyone,” she said.
“I swear I saw someone,” Xandy began.
“I’m not saying you didn’t, Xan,” Quinn assured her. “There just wasn’t anyone there by the time I got out there.”
Xandy nodded, accepting what Quinn was saying.
Quinn walked back down the hall to her room. Standing by the bed, she pressed the clip release on the gun, removing the ammunition clip. Then she drew the slide back, dropping the bullet from the chamber. Setting the gun aside, she picked up the bullet and placed it back in the gun clip, then slid the clip back into the gun with a snap. She then clicked the safety on, and placed it back into the nightstand drawer.
Xandy watched all of this from the doorway, once again she found herself entranced by Quinn’s movements. There was just nothing this woman could do that didn’t fascinate her. She had no idea what to do with everything she was feeling.
When Quinn turned back toward the door, she saw Xandy watching her. Canting her head to the side, she gave Xandy an assessing look. Then she walked toward the door, nodding her head toward Xandy’s room.
“Come on,” Quinn said, as she walked past the girl, “we’re going to end up here anyway.”
In Xandy’s bedroom, Quinn moved to sit on the bed, holding her arm out to Xandy. Xandy laughed softly and moved to lie against Quinn. Within minutes she fell asleep.
A few days after the meeting at BJ’s house, Quinn got a call from Devin inviting her and Xandy to her and Skyler’s for dinner that Friday. She asked Quinn to make sure that Xandy brought her laptop.
Three days later, Quinn drove up to the address in Malibu that Devin had given her. Getting out of the car, she shouldered the laptop case, and walked around to open Xandy’s door. Xandy had finally gotten used to her gallant habit, and had stopped reaching for the door handle herself.
Break in the Storm (WeHo Book 2) Page 7
