He surrendered my cock and eased up beside me on the bed, letting his fingers travel over my sensitized flesh. He licked at my mouth, biting my lower lip and sucking at the small amount of blood that came to the surface.
“You are ready now,” he said, reaching up to the headboard and grabbing hold of a tube of lubricant. Catching my hand he squeezed a generous amount onto my fingers, and I moved to prepare myself, but he caught at my wrist, stopping me.
“The lube is for me, my dearest Little One,” he said, his voice soft and low. “It has been decades since I let anyone take me, so I know it will hurt, no matter what we do to prepare my body.”
His eyes that stared at me were a warm chocolate fondue that I just wanted to dip and wallow in. Then his words sank into my brain.
“What?”
“You are going to fuck me, Xavier…unless of course, you do not want to?” He actually looked unsure, because of my dumbstruck face. “That is alright, if you…”
“I…don’t know. I’ve…Marcus, help me. I don’t want to hurt you,” I told him, my eyes huge with wonder and wanting.
“I do not think I have ever seen you at a loss for words before,” he mused. “Your taking of me is only part of what I wish to experience with you, Xavier. I want to share with you.”
Share? I had no idea what he was talking about, and my puzzled expression must have shown that, for he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to mine.
“When you are inside me, I will drop my shield, and I will share my emotions with you. Will you share yours with me, my Little One?”
My mouth opened and closed, but no words came out.
“Let us try one thing at a time,” Marcus said as he climbed over the top of me and sat on my thighs. Kissing the tip of my nose, he took hold of my lubricated fingers and pressed them against his backside, urging me to stroke and circle around his portal. Then he took his hand away from mine, allowing me to prepare him for entry at my own leisure. Oh…he looks so beautiful, and he’s scared, but he’s hiding it.
I would never have thought this strong, muscular vampire could ever be scared of anything, yet as I pressed a finger into him, he winced. But he still nodded for more when a second digit brushed against his hole.
I’d been fucked so many times in the past year that I knew damn well one finger was not enough to invite easy access or to prevent mind numbing pain. Maybe I didn’t know exactly what I was doing, but I sure as hell knew what I didn’t like or want to experience again. I wanted Marcus to be ready for me when I penetrated him, and so I began slowly thrusting my single finger in and out of him, waiting for his face to tell me when to add more. There it was…His composure dropped, and the smallest of groans came out of his mouth. If I hadn’t been watching for the sign, I would have missed it. He grimaced as I worked a second finger in, bending forward as if he was trying to get away.
“You don’t have to be gentle, Xavier,” he whispered.
“Yes, I do,” I told him, pulling my fingers free of his body. “Now, get on your back. I want to see your pretty face,” I said, adding more lubricant to my hand. Marcus obediently climbed off me and stretched out on the bed, and I perched between his legs, grinning at him. “Spread’em, and keep your feet flat on the bed,” I instructed.
There was a brief flash of fear. Again, if I hadn’t been watching his face closely, I would never have seen it. Why would he be afraid of something he wanted me to do?
Marcus had been the family whore, and as Claudius’s words came back to me, I stopped what I was doing. “Marcus, don’t do this if it causes you pain. Claudius told me some of what happened to you as a child.”
There was a long pause and then, as I made to get off the bed, Marcus’s hand came out and caught my wrist, stilling me.
“Then you know, my preference is pain,” he said quietly. “But you are the first in fifty years that I would trust to do this for me. Do you understand what I am offering you…what I am asking of you? Share with me, Little One. This way, you will know that you are being told the truth.”
“You don’t tell lies,” I answered, shaking my head. One thing I could be sure of, after living with this big, brown mountain of a vampire the past year, was that Marcus didn’t lie. He didn’t have to. “I just don’t understand how you can want this, when it will be sheer agony for you.”
“Share with me, and understand.”
I stared into his eyes and felt myself melting. I hesitated at hurting him, but he had worked my body into frenzy and I needed release, and a friendly hand shake wasn’t going to be enough to satisfy me.
“We’ll do it my way,” I insisted. “Because, there is no way in hell I am sticking my tongue up your ass afterwards to heal tears.”
“I would never ask that of you,” he said, his mouth quirking.
“Good, cause it ain’t ever going to happen.”
“Xavier…” How could he say my name with such…devotion?
I suddenly became aware of emotions hitting at my shield, bumping and knocking gently, without any force behind them at all. They were just there, waiting for me to make a decision about acceptance.
Parting my own shield a smidge, I was hit with such longing, intense desire, trembling anticipation, hard reined impatience and…a little fear. There is was again. He was afraid of me?
“Even if you cannot share, recognize what I am feeling” he urged, thrusting his body upwards at me. “Fuck me hard, Xavier. I give myself to you. Do what you will.” He relaxed back onto the bed. “I love and trust you, Little One.”
Thanks for the performance anxiety, I thought, as I leaned forward and pressed my fingers gently back into his portal. He might enjoy pain, but I needed my own comfort zone, so I took my time and watched him carefully. He had learned his way around my body over the past year, but I learned about his too, and for the most part, the big guy was a sensual beast…a sexy monkey, well, a sexy, silverback gorilla, though I never thought for a moment that I would ever have my fingers shoved in his backside.
As I worked the third digit into him, pleasure swam over me, tinged with a little bit of disappointment. In the goods department, I was average. There was nothing overly special about my member, and if the honest truth were told, even before Marcus had me, I’d always wanted to be the receiver, not the giver. Deep inside, I think I sucked at fucking.
His hands clawed at the bedding as I pushed deeper inside of him, and he let loose a little groan when I pulled my fingers free.
“Look at me,” I said, staring down at him. He was like a naughty god spread out before me, his skin flushed with anticipation, and his hair draped like a dark halo all around his head.
He opened his eyes and watched as I positioned myself between his thighs. I should have been excited. I should have had the blood pumping in my ears from carnal longing because I was getting to fuck the man who had fucked me over and over. And yet, I felt nothing. I was being swept along by Marcus’s emotions, but my own were void. I was just a fucking psychopath.
“I do this because I love you,” I whispered, and as fear and a bizarre keenness ripped through me at this verbal trigger, I shoved in to the hilt.
The absolute joy that hit me was staggering. There was pain there, yes, but it was nothing compared to what he had received before. He had survived much, much worse.
Marcus.
He threw back his head, and his neck was tensed from the strain of holding in his cry of agony as I breached him. Gritting my teeth together, I started rocking into him, hard. There was no artifice about his feelings. He was getting pleasure from the pain I was causing. The harder I fucked him, the happier he got.
Then I got hit with an emotion I sure as hell wasn’t expecting from him. Admiration? He admired me? Why the fuck would anybody admire me? I faltered in my thrusting, and Marcus opened his eyes in puzzlement.
“Share with me…please,” he gasped out.
I had nothing to share myself, but I dropped my shield for him as I reached up and caug
ht at his hand. He clasped his fingers between mine, drawing my body down lower to rest on his chest. This changed the angle of entry, and now I was getting a white blinding flash of ecstasy as I took up my thrusting in earnest and began hitting his prostate. His ass tightened up hard around my cock, and he cried out loud as he climaxed, that beautiful sound of his release causing all my willpower to fly out of the window.
I came…
I’m sorry Xavier. But this is going to hurt.
A female’s voice in your head, when you are seriously getting busy with a burly he-man type, is never a good thing to hear, and I didn’t have a chance to react as Nightshade tore into my mind, ripping open whatever I had locked away in my psyche. I could feel Marcus’s touch as he wrenched my mental shield wide open to allow her access, and emotions began pouring out of that dark little cauldron of my own making, where I had locked everything in so I could do what had to be done.
Even in the throes of a pleasurable orgasm, this was a pretty nasty tag-team mind fuck. I was unshielded, Marcus was unshielded, and Shade was in the middle of the blast zone. There was emotional shrapnel flying everywhere. I had crushed everything down into a tight, dark place, and now the lid was off I assaulted them with everything; every feeling, every action, every evil thing I had done in the name of my family and my love.
“You are not a psychopath, my Little One. One psychopath in the family is more than enough,” Marcus said, draping his arm across my shoulders and pulling me down onto his warm naked chest.
By rights I should have been thrashing and screaming, but instead I was immobile and weeping. Tears the size of pearls dropped off my cheeks, and snot ran down from my nose. I lay wide-eyed on him, crying and sniffling, and basically being an emotional wreck. His mind was still connected deep inside me, and I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think.
“Pick an emotion and run with it, Xavier, whether it is sadness, remorse, rage, or guilt. Feel…something.” His breath warmed my skin as it skimmed along my ear and neck.
“I killed a lot of people today, without blinking an eye,” I said in a monotone voice. And then Marcus had to hold onto me as the results of my actions hit hard, and my body shook from head to toe as I trembled and broke down, crying like I would never stop.
When I finally started calming down, I felt the whisper soft touch of his lips in my hair line.
“When you were sharing, Xavier, I saw your dreams and nightmares,” he told me. “That is all your fears are…a dream. I would never walk away from you. I cannot, for you are the center of my universe. Stupid boy, you have too much control over me for me to even attempt to leave you.”
I was dripping drool onto his chest, and I quickly wiped the back of my hand against my nose as I raised my head to look at him. Marcus handed me a part of the bed sheet to clean myself up with, after he’d wiped his chest. “Did you just call me stupid?” I asked, stupefied.
Can I eat now? I’m starving.
A large, red head plopped down on the mattress beside us, and Nightshade’s yellow eyes blinked innocently at me.
“That hurt,” I told her, my tone accusing.
You shouldn’t have been able to lock that much away, Xavier. You are far too young a fledgling for that kind of control. Are you okay now?
Yeah.
Well, open up the buffet. Are you trying to starve me?
I shuddered as I tore at my wrist and offered it to her hungry mouth. It didn’t matter that Nightshade had come on soft paws and saved my psyche twice…I was just cat food to her.
What a lovely sight we three must have made for Claudius as he came up the stairs and into the room. I was still lying against Marcus with my back pressed close to his chest, his hands hugging around my waist and his knees akimbo and cradling me, while Shade lay in panther form on the bed, licking at the cut I had made for her. We smelled of blood, sex and tears.
Claudius leaned against the door jam and crossed his arms over his chest. “Ah, Chesterton said you were up. Are you ready to go hunting and refill your essence, my sons? I have tickets to another rave tonight.”
“No!” both Marcus and I said in unison.
“Back to the Golden Pheasant, then?” Claudius offered. I thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. The gay bar was familiar territory. Marcus raised one eyebrow in acquiescence, and Shade kept on slurping.
“But I’m not wearing those fuck-me-now clothes,” I stressed.
“I have got you a nice suit. I do not want anyone else coveting my Little One,” Marcus told me, pressing a kiss to my temple.
“Good, then I will meet you both downstairs,” Claudius said, turning away and disappearing back down the stairs with a swish of his black hair.
Shade yawned, smacked her lips together, and then plopped herself down lazily over the bedcovers.
I’m done. Have fun storming the castle. EEEewwwww. Wet spot!
She rolled quickly back to her feet, glaring at the both of us before leaping off the bed. Her tail was twitching in the air as she strolled out of the bedroom and headed off in the direction of her own cat bed.
As I suppressed a giggle, Marcus caught my open wrist and brought it up to his mouth. His brown eyes held me as his tongue slipped out of his mouth, and he lovingly lapped the small wound until it healed. I shivered as I felt desire building in me, and when he attempted to suck on my fingers, I had to pull my arm away.
“Claudius is waiting.”
Marcus pounced on me, and I ended up flat on my back staring into those beautiful eyes of his as he claimed my mouth. He was in no hurry to rush this kiss, and halfway through it, neither was I.
“Marcus!” Claudius’s voice came loudly through the intercom system.
“Let us get ready,” Marcus sighed, sitting up.
I smiled at the dejected look on his face, feeling a little sorry myself that we had been interrupted. It felt so damned good to be feeling something again that it didn’t matter which emotion it was. I was feeling, and that was enough…for now.
“So, you’re a psychopath?” I asked conversationally.
Marcus turned and looked at me, flicking his head so that his hair flipped over his shoulder, the long, brown tresses coming to lay on his wide, broad shoulder that was slick with sweat.
“No, Xavier. I may be damaged goods, but Claudius is the psychopath,” he told me. “He could be kissing you and sticking a spike through your ear at one and the same time.”
“What?” I was more than a little alarmed at what he’d just said.
“There is so much you do not understand about our world, Little One. You are still so young,” Marcus whispered, reaching out and pulling me in close for a chaste kiss. “Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for smiting my enemies. And thank you for allowing me to share with you. I did not want to injure you again, but Nightshade was quite adamant about it. I thought she was just a little pervert…”
“Oh, trust me, she is,” I interjected with a small laugh.
“She does not like me, but she will do everything she can to protect you as will I,” Marcus said sincerely, placing a kiss on my forehead. “Now, hurry up and get moving. We do not want Claudius to call us a second time, trust me on that.”
Marcus rolled off the bed and padded toward the shower. I just watched him, drooling over the sexy way he walked, looking at his ass and knowing it belonged to me.
As he closed the bathroom door and broke the spell I was under, I pushed myself up and sat on the edge of the bed, thinking about what Marcus had said of Claudius. Spike through the ear? What was that all about? This man liked to sleep in my arms.
Marcus opened the bathroom door and stuck his head back out. “Move it, Little One.”
I blinked at him, and moved.
Twenty-Six
Roundup
Awkward. Awkward. Awkward. The situation I was in couldn’t be any more, well…awkward, for there I was, ramrod stiff and sitting in a limo with my vampire lover/brother on one side of me, and my vampire father
/psycho/sometimes-lover on the other, with me, some sort of borderline-psycho, sitting uncomfortably in the middle, thinking to myself, keep it together, man. The only one missing from this family of horrors was Shade, Marcus having given her the night off, apparently.
My fingertips were tapping out my agitation on my kneecaps, and after watching for a while, Claudius looked away from me and flicked his eyes over to Marcus, quirking his brow in question.
“He had questions. I answered them,” Marcus commented. “This is how he processes.”
Hello, I’m sitting right here.
“I am glad to see you up and about, Xavier. I did not like seeing those dead eyes you had when you first walked back into the house,” Claudius said, reaching out and stroking my cheek.
I tried not to shudder at his touch. He’d offered me comfort once before, and I had taken it, reveled in it in fact, and then found out he was tainted. I am such a fucking hypocrite.
“I do not know if Chesterton will ever be the same,” he muttered, settling back into his seat.
Oh shit, I was going to have to apologize to Chesterton. Not only had I been going to kill the poor butler, but I’d been all set to mind fuck him first. Considering I knew how badly it felt to be violated that way, and I didn’t seem to have any problems using it on others, what kind of twisted shit was I becoming? Or had I always been this way? I was so fucked up.
“Wait a minute,” I frowned, as a random thought popped up into my head. “Why was Chesterton calling Monahan? I know you told him to, but…You knew Monahan would be gunning for you?”
“Quite tenacious, isn’t he?” Claudius observed dryly.
“He’s almost like a pit bull in some regards, which is why we had such a thrilling first year,” Marcus said candidly.
“Hey!” I glared at him.
“You want to know why?” Marcus asked, and as I nodded he pointed out of the car window. “That’s why,” he said.
Glancing up I saw my lust-crazed face go scrolling by, plastered on yet another huge billboard.
“You made yourself a celebrity. If I had known that your features were going to be spread all over the city, I would have forbidden the photo shoot,” Marcus told me. “Because of those pictures, it was only a matter of time before someone dug into your past. The arrest report on you for prostitution did not help nor did the fact that your fingerprints are on file in the police database.”
Cake: A Blood Nation Novel (Volume 1) Page 39
