But when we fail ourselves, there is no love waiting to forgive us. To tell us that we are okay, that we can start over. Because, well, we are often our hardest judges, our worst critics, and short of having a second voice inside us to speak truth, we are stuck with the dark voice of our failures resounding over and over in our heads.
The worst part about truly failing ourselves is the self-doubt that lingers. When we fail ourselves, it rocks us to our foundation because we realize we aren’t the people we thought we were. Maybe we’ve been lying to ourselves all this time.
It’s this kind of failure that stops us from reaching for dreams, traps us in disastrous habits and relationships, and keeps us from ever finding our true destiny.
This is the failure that stalks both Amelia and Roark in The Wonder of You. I wanted to explore the different sides of self-failure—first, the kind that surprises us, teaches us about ourselves, makes us reevaluate who we are. This is the best kind of failure because if we can get back up, it makes us truer, more passionate people. It shows us who we can be when we hang on to God. This is Amelia’s failure, and the choice between Seth and Roark epitomizes the two options for her future: should she stay safe or launch again?
The other side of failure is more insidious, coming from a deep-seated belief that we don’t deserve happiness, that whatever we do is doomed, and should we be called to do something great, it will only end in destruction. This failure paralyzes. This failure keeps us running.
This is Roark’s failure. He carries the certainty that because of his childhood choices, he will never truly live in victory. And should he let God down again, there will be no redemption for him. In short, Roark believes he is flawed, broken, and not worth saving—and we too often believe this as well.
Oh, we treat ourselves with such little grace! Such meager mercy. Left to our own devices, we would punish ourselves, retreating from the flame of God’s love because we believe we don’t deserve it.
Thankfully, God does not let us alone. He sees our wretched state and sends a Pursuer to wrestle us away from our lies. To help us glimpse His great love for us, saving us out of every single failure, bringing us over and over to healing, to joy. Because that is the nature of God—He is not content to watch the ones He loves hide from all He has for them. His glory is most revealed when we drink it all in and are changed.
When we experience the wonder of His love.
See, our worth, our victory has nothing to do with us. With our failures or our efforts. It has only to do with the fact that we belong to the Father. And thus, we are forgiven. Empowered. Loved.
It’s time to forgive yourself. To turn to the God who wants to save you. To be set free.
To wonder at the love of your heavenly Father and let it give you victory.
Thank you for reading the Christiansen Family series. I hope you’ll stick around for Owen’s story. Can a prodigal ever really come home? We’ll see!
In His grace,
Susan May Warren
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
SUSAN MAY WARREN is the bestselling, Christy and RITA Award–winning author of more than forty novels whose compelling plots and unforgettable characters have won acclaim with readers and reviewers alike. She served with her husband and four children as a missionary in Russia for eight years before she and her family returned home to the States. She now writes full-time as her husband runs a resort on Lake Superior in northern Minnesota, where many of her books are set.
Susan holds a BA in mass communications from the University of Minnesota. Several of her critically acclaimed novels have been ECPA and CBA bestsellers, were chosen as Top Picks by Romantic Times, and have won the RWA’s Inspirational Reader’s Choice contest and the American Christian Fiction Writers’ prestigious Carol Award. Her novels You Don’t Know Me and Take a Chance on Me were Christy Award winners, and five of her other books have also been finalists. In addition to her writing, Susan loves to teach and speak at women’s events about God’s amazing grace in our lives.
For exciting updates on her new releases, previous books, and more, visit her website at www.susanmaywarren.com.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
In her letter, Ingrid tells Amelia, “Your challenge is to look past the view others choose for you, look past even your own limited perspective, and see the view your heavenly Father has chosen for you.” What does she mean by this? In what ways is Amelia’s perspective limited and shortsighted at the beginning of this book? How does her view widen over the course of the story?
In chapter 1, Amelia reflects, “It wasn’t just her colossal embarrassment with Roark. It was that she no longer trusted her own instincts.” What about her experience in Prague and her relationship with Roark undermined Amelia’s trust in her own instincts? Have you ever gone through a trial that caused you to deeply question yourself and your abilities? What was the outcome? What would you say to someone who’s in the middle of self-doubt?
After returning to Deep Haven, Amelia feels like a failure in comparison with her friends from high school, whose careers and lives seem more successful than her own. What advice would you give her? Can you think of a time when you were tempted to compare yourself to someone else? What were the results?
Max and Grace are drawn to Yulia from the first time they meet her, but Max resists the idea of adopting her. Why does he feel unfit to be a father? Do you agree with his reasoning? What causes him and Grace to eventually decide to make her part of their family?
Is Roark at all justified in hiding his wealthy status from Amelia? Should he have told her earlier? Why doesn’t he? Why does she react the way she does when she finds out? Would you have done the same?
In chapter 17, Ingrid tells Roark, “[God] loves us simply because He finds joy in loving us. And no amount of our running, our disobedience, our mistakes will keep that love from us. God requires nothing from us but to turn and embrace Him.” Why does Roark need to hear this truth about God’s love? What does he do in response? What would it look like for you to stop running and to embrace God, to accept His love and forgiveness?
Ingrid also says, “God’s blessings fall on the wicked and the righteous alike. It’s our response—our embrace or our rejection of those blessings—that determines whether they bear fruit in our lives.” Was there a time in your life when you rejected a potential blessing from God? What about a time when you embraced one of God’s blessings? What happened?
For much of the book, Amelia goes back and forth between Roark and Seth. Why is it so difficult for her to choose? What does each man represent to her? Do you think she makes the right decision in the end? Why or why not?
Amelia comes to a realization when she’s lying injured in the ravine: “Maybe she no longer had Seth. Or Roark. But she didn’t need them to be brave. She simply had to look at Jesus. Who would show up. Who had always shown up. Who, really, had never been away from her.” What does it mean to “look at Jesus”? Why does it sometimes feel that God is most present with us when we are at our most helpless and vulnerable points?
Both Amelia and Roark are moved by the lyrics of “Be Thou My Vision.” What about this hymn connects to their personal circumstances? Why is it such a comfort to them? Can you think of a song that’s been particularly meaningful to you in some season of life?
Several characters in this story have a connection to overseas missionary work: Roark grew up as a missionary kid; a missionary family speaks at the Christiansens’ church; Amelia herself senses a call to missions in Uganda. Do you know any missionaries, or have you yourself ever considered short- or long-term missions? For you, what would be the most difficult cost of overseas missions? The greatest reward?
Casper feels the need to track down Owen before he can marry Raina and adopt Layla. Is this a wise decision? Why or why not? What do you think will happen if he finds Owen?
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