“Really, Nathan?” she asked angrily. “Does that go both ways?” She stroked along his length and he shuddered in reaction. “Does this only belong to me? You aren’t going to fuck your fiancée with it anymore?”
Stricken by the hurt and anger in her voice, he grasped her wrist and reluctantly pulled her hand from him, even though his body was screaming for release. Shamed, he turned from her and took several long, deep breaths.
“That’s what I thought,” replied Julia quietly. “You might want to fuck me but she’s still the one you’re with, the one you’re going to marry. Don’t touch me again, Nathan. You don’t have the right anymore.”
He nodded, willing his erection to subside enough for him to walk to his office. “I’m sorry, Julia. I was way out of line. It won’t happen again, okay?”
From somewhere behind him he could hear the sound of her weeping, and it broke his heart. It was an unpleasant reminder of how upset, almost incoherent she’d been that morning in New York when he’d told her he was engaged. He turned back, reaching for her as she sobbed into her hands.
“Don’t cry, baby. I’m such an asshole. I’m not worth your tears,” he pleaded.
Julia shoved him away, grabbing a wad of tissues from the decorative box on her credenza, and wiping her eyes and nose delicately. “Please just go, okay? I have work to do. And this is not going to happen again, understand? I’m tired of being used. You are an asshole – I should have remembered that before I let you touch me.”
Her words stung like little pieces of broken glass, but he couldn’t fault her for saying them. “I’ll leave you alone, Julia,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”
He walked out of her office without a backward glance and kept on going, like a robot, until he reached his own office. He slammed the door shut, not really caring if anyone else in earshot had arrived yet, and emitted several vicious curses. There was a neat stack of file folders on the corner of his desk and he knocked them all to the floor in one fell swoop. He took his suit jacket off with sharp, jerky motions and flung it onto the sofa, before pacing angrily around the room over and over again.
Finally he plopped down in his desk chair, banging his head against the surface of his desk several times. “Goddammit!” he swore in a low voice. “Fuck, fuck fuck! How the hell did I just manage to make an already shitty situation into a complete and total clusterfuck?”
He’d started out the conversation with Julia intending only to find out what had gone down last night between her and Cameron. He hadn’t expected anything more serious than some catty sniping on Cameron’s part, enough to upset Julia but nothing over the top. The last thing he’d anticipated was that Cameron had physically harmed Julia, and shook her up so badly.
And when he’d seen the tears trickling down her cheek, his only intent in embracing Julia had been to comfort and console her. He sure as hell hadn’t planned to kiss her as though he wanted to eat her alive, and most definitely hadn’t figured on touching her body, much less fingering her to an orgasm right there against her office wall. And then he’d had to go ahead and make that domineering, possessive statement about how she belonged to him and no one else. He didn’t blame her in the least for being pissed off, for he’d acted like a total dick to her once again.
Nathan gave himself a few minutes to calm down before picking up his discarded files and restoring order to them. He hung his suit jacket up in its usual place before opening his office door.
Robyn was just arriving, and took one look at his face before shaking her head. “So it’s going to be one of those mornings, is it? I should go get myself a double espresso right now. Or maybe a tequila shot.”
He smiled faintly, rarely able to resist her perennial good humor. “Sorry. I just had a rather upsetting conversation a little while ago. Give me some time to get over it, okay?”
She shrugged. “Sure, whatever. So how was the dinner last night?”
His smile faded abruptly. “Don’t ask.” He checked his watch. “Speaking of which, I’m going to see if my dear partner has dragged his ass in yet. He has a few things to answer for.”
Robyn called after him as he stalked away. “Should I call Courtney and warn her to duck for cover?”
Travis had been expecting Nathan to drop in sometime this morning, and to also be in a foul temper. So when his partner strode purposefully into his office unannounced, slamming the door behind him, he didn’t even glance up from the designs he was studying.
“What the hell kind of juvenile little game were you and Anton playing last night?”
Travis calmly set the design boards aside, and glanced up at a very pissed-off Nathan, smiling broadly. “Well, good morning to you, too, sunshine. A bit hungover, are we? No, wait, that would be your oh so charming fiancée who fits that bill.”
Nathan pounded a fist on Travis’ desk. “What were you two thinking anyway? Why did you deliberately antagonize Cameron that way?”
Travis raised a pale blond brow. “Who says we were trying to do that? All I intended was to have some pleasant dinner conversation, that’s all. It’s hardly my fault if your fiancée couldn’t handle not being the center of attention for once.”
Nathan plopped down in a guest chair, glaring at his partner. “It wasn’t bad enough to keep praising Julia all night – she went to Cornell, she speaks fluent French, she was a yoga teacher during college, she’s such a great cook. But the kicker was when you told Cam the artist that she’d admired and raved about for years was Julia’s mother – that kind of put her over the edge.”
Travis’ eyes blazed angrily, a rare emotion for him. “Yes, and I saw the aftermath of that edge Cameron fell over. You weren’t in that cab last night when poor Julia was shaking like a leaf. Your girl really walloped her, it wasn’t just some little smack on the cheek. And don’t blame me. Cameron’s a grown woman, after all, and ought to have better control over her emotions. And the fact that Natalie Benoit is Julia’s mother is public knowledge and would have come up eventually.”
Nathan sighed, rubbing a hand over his weary face. “I know it would, bizarre coincidence that it is. There’re an awful lot of coincidences involving Julia, matter of fact.”
“Like what?’ asked Travis curiously.
Nathan shrugged. “I don’t know. Like the fact she did design work for the Gregson Group in New York. Or that the two of you shared a mentor.”
“That’s not a coincidence That’s merely a situation that brought her out here in the first place. If I hadn’t already known her via Gerard it’s highly unlikely she’d be working here now. So what else is a coincidence?”
Nathan waved a hand in dismissal. “Nothing, I guess. Forget I said anything.”
“All right.” Travis returned his attention to the stack of design boards. “Well, if you’ve finished scolding me for being a naughty boy, I’d like to get back to work now.”
“Why did you do it?”
Travis frowned in annoyance. “Because I damned well felt like it, that’s why. Your charming fiancée hasn’t been quite so charming to Anton and me. You know darned well she can’t stand us, that she despises gays in general. Which considering she lives in one of the gayest cities in the world, and works in the art world, is sort of mind blowing. And I won’t even discuss her prick of a father.”
“Yes, please, let’s not. I have to see the old bastard at some fucking boring party tomorrow night, and that will be soon enough.”
“Well you might want to keep the Princess away from those dirty martinis,” drawled Travis. “Evidently someone can’t hold her liquor as well as she thinks she can.”
“She was just pissed off and jealous,” Nathan replied dismissively. “She hardly ever drinks like that, and especially not when her parents are around.”
“If you say so. I’m not really sure why she’d be jealous, though. Cameron seems like the most confident woman I’ve ever met.”
Nathan hesitated. “She is, but I think she feels threatened by Julia somehow.
”
“Really? Can’t imagine why. Unless it’s because Julia is younger, hotter, and is actually nice to people. Or maybe it’s just because Cameron sees the way you stare at Julia’s tits, like you know what they look like naked.”
Nathan flushed a bright red and looked shocked, his mouth gaping open. “I don’t do any such thing.”
Travis laughed heartily. “Oh, you sure as hell do. I may be gay and don’t look at women the same way, but lust is lust, buddy. And you’ve got it in spades for my girl. You’ve got to do a much better job at hiding that from your fiancée, though. Discretion, Nathan, discretion.”
Nathan had the good grace to appear disgruntled. “Well, how the hell do you expect me – or any red-blooded hetero man – to keep from staring at her when she dresses that way?”
Travis frowned. “There’s nothing wrong with the way Julia dresses. She’s classy all the time, no cleavage or see-through fabrics, nothing too short or clingy.”
“None of that matters. She just wears all of these form fitting dresses and skirts, and those fucking high heels. I’m only human, you know. Can’t you get her to wear baggy clothes and flats?” he pleaded.
Travis looked alarmed. “Oh, hell no am I having that conversation with her! She may be a friend of a friend but that doesn’t mean she can’t claim sexual harassment . Besides, “ he added with a wicked grin, “her amazing good looks and that smokin’ little bod have helped us get an awful lot of business lately. Including a very promising lead with Jackson West just last night.”
“That fucker,” cursed Nathan, not looking at all pleased. “Rumor has it that he likes pretty girls less than half his age, and that he’s got the money to buy whatever sweet young ass he wants.” He pointed a warning finger at Travis. “You’d better keep him the hell away from Julia. Get his business but put another designer on the job. I don’t want her anywhere near that bastard.”
Travis guffawed. “You don’t want her near him? Last time I checked Ms. McKinnon worked for me. Why do you give a shit who she works with anyway?”
“I own half this business, remember?” challenged Nathan. “If one of our employees gets harassed by a client it affects me, too. Just do us all a favor and assign someone else to work with that douchebag West.”
“You’ve got the hots for her yourself, don’t you?” challenged Travis.
“No, that’s not it,” Nathan insisted. “Just because she’s attractive doesn’t mean I want to fuck her. And – hello – have you forgotten? Engaged man here.”
“Oh, right. I did forget, excuse me,” replied Travis sarcastically. “You’re so blissfully in love with Cameron that you couldn’t possibly be attracted to someone else? Sorry, my mistake. Now look, as fun as this conversation has been, I really do need to work. Close the door on your way out, will you?”
Nathan glared at him for long seconds, as though he wanted to say something else, but finally threw up his hands in frustration and stormed out just as he’d stormed in, slamming the door behind him.
Travis chuckled with unmitigated glee. ‘Engaged my ass. He could be engaged to a dozen different woman and he’d still want Julia,’ he thought to himself. ‘Well, he certainly has something to think about, doesn’t he?’
And with that very pleasant thought in mind, Travis got back to work.
Chapter Eleven
Late April
Julia ignored the good looking man who turned and gave her a wolf whistle as she passed him on the street. After the upsetting encounter with Nathan in her office several weeks ago, she’d sworn off men yet again, and just wasn’t in the mood to deal with what Travis jokingly referred to as her cheering section.
She had thrown herself into her work even more than usual this past month, spending insanely long hours at the office. When she wasn’t working she was at yoga, often taking two classes a day to work off the stress, and spent the remainder of her time cooking, shopping, or rearranging her closet – again. She’d made two trips to Carmel and Big Sur to see her parents and sister, desperate to keep busy and not allow herself even a moment to think about Nathan.
God knew he’d done a bang-up job of pretty much ignoring her these last few weeks. If he’d treated her professionally and somewhat coldly before the make-out session in her office, he was positively non-communicative and icy now. She hadn’t been assigned to any new projects that Nathan was also involved with. Instead, Travis and Olivia, one of the other designers, were working with Nathan on two new accounts, while Julia had been assigned to a project with Eric as well as working on several design-only accounts. That left only the Gregson hotel project, and Nathan had been leaving Jake to deal with most of the contact with Julia on that one.
She was certainly getting his message loud and clear. It was to be strictly business between them from now on, and as little business as possible. Julia was well aware that Nathan avoided her, even taking the long way around so he wouldn’t have to walk past her office. Last week she’d happened to be in the same elevator with him, and aside from a curtly nodded “Hello” he hadn’t looked at her or said another word.
And while she understood his need to keep contact with her to a bare minimum, it hurt like hell to have him treat her like a stranger. ‘For God’s sake,’ she thought ‘he had his tongue down my throat and his hand inside my panties and he acts like he can’t stand to be within ten feet of me.’ She couldn’t help but feel cheap and used, shuddering as she recalled how quickly she’d come against his talented fingers, how desperately she’d clung to him, and how eagerly she’d kissed him. Both times that she’d been with him – in New York and in her office – she’d been wrecked physically and emotionally after he’d left. And yet, stupidly, Julia feared that she would continue to be drawn to Nathan, to succumb to the pull she felt towards him, and to let him have his way with her whenever he chose.
No man had ever had this sort of affect on her. Certainly not Sam, her first love. He’d been kind and caring and sweet. They had grown up together, been each other’s first, and even when things had ended between them during college they’d been able to remain good friends.
Initially with Lucas she’d been dazzled by him. He had been older, of course, and his suave sophistication had swept her off her feet. But then she’d found out the truth about him, the secrets he’d been keeping, and she’d broken things off immediately. Lucas had kept pursuing her, but his lies had shattered her faith in him, and she’d steadfastly refused to see him again. He’d finally gotten the hint and left her alone.
In some ways, the situation with Nathan was all too similar to her failed relationship with Lucas, except that this time she was too weak and too attracted to forget about him. The fact that he belonged to another woman troubled her, of course. She didn’t condone cheating – had certainly learned a hard lesson about that with Lucas – but feared that she just couldn’t turn off her feelings for Nathan. When she’d been with him in New York, she hadn’t known about his fiancée until it was too late. She had already spent the most incredible night of her life with him and fallen hard. And try as she might, she was discovering that love wasn’t something you could just stop feeling, or that you could turn off such a strong physical attraction like a light switch.
The sensible solution, of course, would be to find another job so that she didn’t have to worry about seeing him every day. But it wasn’t easy to find a job in her field, and certainly not one with such a prestigious firm. There was always Ian Gregson’s standing offer to work for his company, and lately she’d begun to give it some serious consideration. Though the old “out of sight, out of mind” adage certainly hadn’t applied in the months between last September and meeting Nathan again in January. It didn’t give her great confidence that it would work this time, either.
She stopped at the corner, waiting for the traffic light to change, and looked straight ahead despite the very interested gaze of the tall, dark-haired man to her right. ‘Maybe I should have worn a coat after all” she thought ti
redly. It was a very pleasant spring day, and since the client’s office she’d just walked from was only three blocks away, she had left her jacket back at her desk. Julia supposed it was her dress that was attracting what seemed like more attention than usual today. It was one of her favorites – something Aunt Maddy had received during last fall’s New York Fashion Week – but the weather hadn’t been right for it until today.
It was Narciso Rodriguez, who she thought knew how to dress curvy women better than almost anyone. This creation was of a deep coral shade, another pencil-skirted dress with a square neckline and cap sleeves. She’d teamed it with taupe peep-toe Louboutins and a Tory Burch clutch in the same shade. Julia knew the coral was a good color for her, setting off her golden brown hair and creamy skin, but was now a bit self-conscious of all the male stares she was getting as a result.
Her spine stiffened as she recalled Nathan’s comments about her outfits, how he’d sounded almost angry about the way she dressed. She’d even tried dressing more demurely for a few days, in lower heels and less form-fitting attire. But after a few sarcastic comments from Travis, like “Are you in mourning or something”, “Forget to pick up the dry cleaning?”, and “My grandmother has shoes like that”, Julia had defiantly decided to wear what she damned well pleased from now on. In fact, she’d even gone to extra lengths to wear the most figure flattering and alluring things in her vast wardrobe. Whether Nathan noticed or not, she’d at least had the satisfaction of knowing she looked awesome.
The light changed and she stumbled very slightly stepping off the curb. The dark haired stranger on her right immediately slid a hand to her elbow to steady her.
She glanced up at him with a brief smile. “Thank you. I’m fine now.”
But as they walked across the street, tall, dark and handsome kept his hand on her arm. The smile her gave her was purely carnal, and she couldn’t help the little frisson of awareness that shimmered up her spine. He was certainly one of the most attractive men she’d ever seen.
Serendipity (Inevitable) Page 20
