She narrowed her eyes. “You could have driven up here any other day, when the weather was perfect.”
He shrugged. “I’m going to head out to my car to grab a change of clothes. Feel free to go change. Don’t want you to catch a cold.”
“Cade…”
“You can’t send me away. The roads are washed out. It’s a torrential rainstorm and a tornado is a real possibility.”
She crossed her arms and looked away.
“Then you’d have to say you’re a widow, that you kicked your dear husband to the curb? Give me one week, Julia.”
“A week for what?”
“One week to prove you’re still in love with me. One week to win you back.”
“That’s ridic—”
“Give me one week. That’s all I want. One week with you. If at the end, you still want a divorce, I’ll give it to you, hands down, no arguments. I’ll leave and never come back.”
Chapter Two
Julia walked out of the bathroom after having changed. She had contemplated what to wear, but decided on yoga pants, a tank top, and a hoodie. She was not dressing up to impress her ‘husband’ no matter how good the man looked, but she was relieved she didn’t have to wear the cat pajamas in front of him.
This whole ‘one week to win her back’ business was ridiculous, arrogant. As if he thought it would be so easy. Like they could just pick up to the way things had been at one time. There was no going back.
She stopped in the doorway of the kitchen. He was making coffee as though he owned the place, cool and casual in her small kitchen. He turned to her. “I take it you’re still a coffee junkie?”
“Maybe.” Perhaps that was a childish answer, but she wasn’t letting her guard down and she was not putting her heart on the line again. She owed him nothing, and she didn’t appreciate this attempted ambush back into her life.
“I thought I’d make a big pot and then put it in a thermos so if the power is out in the morning I won’t have to worry about you killing me because there isn’t any coffee.”
She frowned slightly and looked out the window over the kitchen sink. “You don’t actually think we’ll lose power, do you?” It was dusk, but it looked even darker now. The wind occasionally rattled the windows, and the sounds of the tree branches swinging low and close to her house did make it seem pretty bad out there. She’d never admit it, but it did feel more reassuring having someone here with her.
He shrugged. The coffee maker beeped at the end of its brew cycle and she pulled out a thermos. Once filled with the coffee he turned to her. His arms were splayed wide on the counter, his fingers gripped the edge. One thing was clear, even though she knew his company had turned into a crazy success, he clearly still made time for the gym. His dark grey T-shirt clung to his wide chest and was loose over his stomach. His worn-in jeans seemed made for him as they hung low on his lean hips. She had to look away. In fact, the entire picture of him in her house like this was upsetting.
“Did you come with divorce papers?”
He frowned. “Didn’t you hear a word I said? I want a week.”
“Let’s say I agree to this ridiculous plan of yours. At the end of this week, when I still want nothing to do with you, do you have divorce papers for me to sign?”
He looked at her with a hooded gaze, his chin firm and set. “We won’t need them.”
“I understand that you’re successful now and you’re used to people taking orders from you, but that doesn’t work here. I’ve been on my own for three years. I don’t answer to anyone, least of all the man who walked out on me.”
He crossed the room in two strides until he was right in front of her. She had to tilt her head back to maintain eye contact. “You’re leaving a helluva lot of details out of there, Jules. I didn’t just walk out. I would have stayed, I wanted to stay, but you’re the one who made it clear that I had to leave. You’ve got a selective memory, sweetheart. You can blame me for many things, but giving up on us, or you, isn’t one of them. You did that. I get it if you’re using it as a way to piss me off, but you’re not going to get me to walk out of here, to give up on us.”
“There is no us anymore. We tried that…after. It didn’t work.”
He placed his hands on her arms, gripping her gently, firmly as he stared at her. “Maybe it was too soon, everything was too fresh. We hadn’t been together that long, neither of us had the tools to keep our relationship intact after tragedy, but I’ve not moved on from you. You’re my wife, Jules, and you never stopped being my wife.”
She wasn’t prepared for the emotion that would hit, render her speechless, but the sound of his deep voice, familiar, warm, almost made her want to jump back into that place that he seemed so sure they could get back to. The touch of his large, strong hands seemed to seep warmth through her body, along with that familiar pull he always had. What did he mean by ‘I have not moved on from you’? She didn’t want to ask because there was no going back; she couldn’t do that with him. He came with so many memories she didn’t want to revisit, a life that she didn’t want to acknowledge. She preferred to think of that time in her life as a fading dream. “I’ve moved on, I’ve made a life for myself. I’m a teacher. I bought this house. I have friends, I have a routine. I know the way every day is going to go and I like that.”
“I’m happy for you. I’m happy you’re doing so well, that you found your way again. But what, you’re not going to give us a chance because you like routine?”
She shut her eyes briefly. “It’s not simple like that. I need to move forward, not backwards. It took me a year. Of therapy, depression…” She looked away from his intense gaze and focused on the clock behind him. “It took me a year to find a new version of myself that I could live with. I can’t go backwards now.”
“I’m not asking you to. I’m asking you to move forward, with me. Get to know me again. We’ve both changed in three years, but I’m pretty damn sure there are still pieces of the same woman in there. I’m pretty sure I still know how to make you happy.”
Her breath caught at the sudden heat that appeared in his eyes, not that he was implying anything sexual…no, this version of Cade was completely aboveboard. He was being a gentleman. Gentle. Maybe because he thought she was fragile. Three years ago he would have been right.
She crossed her arms and put on her best kindergarten teacher face, not that it was really called for, but she needed some kind of control and right now her perfectly controlled, safe life was headed for completely out of control. He obviously wasn’t put off by her attitude, because he winked at her and then whipped open her refrigerator door as though he did this every day.
“What are you doing?”
He was leaning over and she was absolutely not checking out his butt. God, that would be so wrong.
“I’m going to make us dinner.”
“No, you’re not. Besides, I have no food.”
He pulled out a carton of eggs and a pack of bacon. “Perfect. What more do we need? Do you have wine?”
She put her head in her hands briefly. When she looked up again he was looking for a frying pan, making a racket as he pushed aside pots to get to a pan.
“We’re not drinking wine together.”
He paused. “We need wine.”
“Wine is what got us into trouble the first time around.”
He grinned, slowly. “I have no regrets about any wine ever drunk with you.”
She tore her gaze from his and then took the frying pan out of his hand. “Also, people don’t drink wine with bacon and eggs.”
“That’s if it’s morning. Different rules apply for dinner.”
She let out a long sigh. “I’ll make the eggs, you deal with the bacon.”
He turned on the burner and pulled out a dish from the cupboard, and lined it with a paper towel. “You still have an aversion to grease splatter?”
“Slight, but I think I have a bigger aversion to your overcooked eggs.”
“And t
he wine, where do you keep your wine?”
*
Cade watched Julia take a sip of her wine, noting how slowly she was drinking it. Clearly, she was worried about letting her guard down.
He picked up their empty plates and walked to the kitchen. “You sit, I’ll put these in the sink and bring the wine bottle.” As soon as he put the dishes in the sink, the lights went out. The room was engulfed in a dark blanket.
“Uh, please tell me you can find the matches and candle and flashlight you left out?” she called out from the family room. He could hear the tension in her voice.
“Yup, all under control,” he said, flicking the match and lighting the white candle in the glass hurricane on her table. He grabbed the flashlight he’d left out on the table and walked with both into the family room. She was still sitting on the couch, the room dark, the eeriness of the storm increased now that the light was dim.
“I have more candles,” she said, holding out her hand for the flashlight. He handed it to her and she pulled a few off the mantle and from the dining room table beside the family room. She lined them all up while he lit them. She sat back down on her end of the sofa and he resumed his post on the rug, beside the upholstered coffee table.
“Can I top up your wine?”
She shook her head. He refilled his glass that was sitting on a tray beside a stack of magazines and all the candles. If this had been any night, three years ago, there would never have been this kind of distance between them. He glanced over, appreciatively, as Julia seemed to just stare off into the candlelight. The flickering light highlighted her beauty in a way that made him nostalgic for everything they had been. Three years ago, there would have been an innocence to her face that touched him, that always made him feel protective over her. He searched for it, in the depths of her eyes, in the tilt of her chin…but it was gone. He wanted it back. He wanted to see her smile again, he wanted to hear her laugh. He wanted her to look at him as though he was her entire world.
Chocolate. Chocolate always brought a smile to her face.
“I’ll be right back,” he said, jumping up. She gave him a ‘whatever’ look, but he didn’t even bother acknowledging it. Five minutes later, he was back in the room, carrying all the essentials. He noticed she’d refilled her glass while he was gone. That was a good start. He laid his bounty down on the table.
She leaned forward, peering at it. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Do I know you, or do I know you?”
He ripped open the chocolate bar wrappers, and then carefully split the chocolate bars in two. He hadn’t done this in three years. It was their thing.
“You should probably use a knife and use a plate.”
He hid his grin. He knew she’d be anal about the crumbs. “If you want to help, you’d better do it now. Graham crackers are the worst for crumbs and I’m dealing with the graham crackers next.” She made an irritated noise and then joined him on the rug, grabbing the pack of crackers. They worked side by side and he knew by the way she would quickly move her fingers whenever his hand came close to hers, that she was avoiding any kind of body contact. The sight of her hands, close to his, was painful, but it was the sight of her hands, delicate, perfect, but without her wedding ring that made his chest throb. He had never taken his off.
“All right, this is it,” he said, his voice sounding gruff. He wasn’t going to let his own feelings screw this up; he had to take this slow and careful with her. He held the marshmallow over the candle flame and slow roasted it until the absolute perfect second, and just like no time had passed, she lined up the graham crackers and chocolate, assembly line style, while he moved onto the next. In ten minutes, they were both downing the dessert.
“Am I still the s’mores king or what?”
She was trying to fight a smile, he could tell, but even she couldn’t hold back and he smiled with her. She downed the rest of her wine, and he tried not to laugh at the chocolate she still had on her cheek.
“Okay, you’re the king,” she said teasing him. Maybe it was the sudden warming, like a sun breaking through the clouds after a storm, or maybe it was that he felt her softening, or maybe it was just because he’d missed her so damn much, but he broke his promise to himself not to rush things.
“Julia,” he said. She turned to him, and he saw the recognition lighting her eyes. The years he spent from her drifted away. They were husband and wife and nothing had happened between them. God, he’d missed this woman.
He cupped the sides of her face, feeling her soft smooth skin, noticing the way her mouth dropped open. Her gaze went from his eyes to his lips, and he knew there was no more playing it slow. He lowered his head and gave her the faintest of kisses, starting at the outside of her perfect mouth. She tasted of chocolate and wine…and Julia. Her hands went to his biceps, and he could feel her tightening her grip as he slowly kissed her. He tasted her, cherished her, and she was sweeter than he remembered. But when her nails dug into his biceps, he deepened the kiss, his tongue tangling with hers, exploring, taking, tasting. She was still his in all the ways that mattered. The chemistry that they shared, the connection, wasn’t one that distance or time could destroy. “I want you, Julia, so damn much. Every night I was away from you, I wanted you. I have never in my life wanted another woman more than you.”
Chapter Three
“I can’t do this,” she whispered, pulling back. She didn’t know what had hit her, what had possessed her to allow him to kiss her. Kissing Cade was like sinking into a deep soaker tub filled with warm Godiva chocolate.
He nodded and she fought the urge to reach out and touch his face, his stubble. How long had it been since she’d felt the strength of a man holding her? Or the rough scrape of a man’s stubble across her skin? But she knew in her heart it wasn’t any man’s skin or body she was craving. If it had been, she would have slept with anyone, but she hadn’t. It seemed she was programmed for him, as much as it killed her to know that. It was only her strong survival instinct that had kicked in and reminded her to pull away from him.
“I’m not here to rush you. We’ve got all week.”
She let out a short laugh. “It’s not that simple.”
“It can be. I left work. I told the guys I wanted out.”
Her breath caught and he held her gaze, the significance of what he was saying hanging in the room. She eyed the mess on the coffee table, wishing there was more chocolate or more wine. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I made my money. I have more than enough now. I fulfilled my obligation to them. I have everything except you.”
She shut her eyes briefly, almost shaking with the emotion that ran through her.
“I can live anywhere in the world. I don’t need to be with them anymore.” By them, he meant his four partners that had started their company. “I made my choice to go with them then, and as I remember I asked you to come to Silicon Valley with me.”
“There was no way I could at the time, not after Sophie.”
“You didn’t trust me anymore,” he said, his voice low and gruff, and scraping against her insides in a way that made her aware of all her nerve endings.
“I didn’t trust anything or anyone.”
“I don’t blame you. After I dragged you out to Fort McMurray, why the hell would you trust me?” As much as she hated what had happened, she didn’t want him to feel guilt over decisions they’d both made. She knew all his decisions had been made unselfishly. No one was responsible for what had happened.
“Cade, it was so much more complicated.”
“No it wasn’t,” he said. “Poor guy who was raised in a shit-hole falls in love at first sight with the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen at a bar. They have a one night stand and—”
“Don’t say it like that. It cheapens it. What we were, what Sophie was.”
He framed her face with his hands, the earnestness in his eyes a contrast to the maturity, the masculinity of his hard features. “I loved
you the moment I saw you. We made a baby that night and not for a second did I regret anything. Those nine months we were together were the happiest in my life. My biggest regret was not having the money to keep you here, in your hometown, with your family. If I’d known, I’d never taken that job in that remote location. I blame myself every day. Every fucking day, I relive it, my options—”
She felt the tears rolling down her face and she saw the sheen in his eyes and she couldn’t hold back. She placed her fingers over his lips and shook her head. “Don’t do that. Don’t. I never blamed you, ever. I know you didn’t plan for a wife and a kid. I get that. You were trying to take care of us. You wanted me to finish school through correspondence so I could get my degree, and you sacrificed yourself working that horrible job, for me. For Sophie. I couldn’t have asked for a better—”
“Then why? Why the hell did you push me away?”
She wanted to crawl into his lap, wanted to feel his arms wrap around her and take away the aftershocks of the pain. The aftershocks never really dimmed, but they eased in frequency. Sometimes she could push them away if she was disciplined, but what could she say to him?
She looked past him, out the window, but there was only darkness. “I didn’t know anything anymore. It was like my entire year I had been forced to exist in a life I hadn’t planned for myself. And then even that was taken away from me. I know you and your roommates from university were destined for great things. You guys were all brilliant. Then when you got that app idea and then the next one and then the opportunity to pitch it to those venture capitalists? How was I going to say no, you couldn’t go? Everything we had built was new and was then destroyed. How could I make you stay here?”
“Why didn’t you come with me?”
She shook her head. “My life was here. I didn’t even know anymore if we could get past that. If I went with you to Silicon Valley, I would have been a burden to you. I would have distracted you.”
