by Vi Keeland
“Hey.” I lifted my chin up at them.
“What’s up, man? Long time no see.” Ryan smiled.
“Hey.” Valentina’s voice was laced with hesitance.
I figured it was a good sign that he didn’t run down the stairs and punch me in the face for banging his mother. But while Ryan seemed chipper and relaxed, Val looked anything but. Seeing the veins pop from her neck as she stressed made me smile for the first time in two days. Why did seeing her freak out about someone finding out about us bring me such joy? Perhaps I was just a dick.
I walked up the stairs to their deck instead of mine and shook Ryan’s hand. The last time I saw him, he was only fourteen. Now he was almost as tall as I was. “All grown up. I take it you’re not going to want me to make sandcastles with you this year?”
Ryan smiled. “I’ve moved on to searching for mermaids. Maybe we can go find some tail together later.”
My eyes flickered to Val and then back, and I coughed. “You’re at University of North Carolina, right? How do you like it?”
“It’s great. My first year was a blast.”
He looked over at his mom and his face fell serious. Shit. Maybe I’d misjudged the situation and she had told him.
“Listen…I just wanted to say I’m really sorry about your parents.”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
The simple reminder of my father swept away any momentary levity that had crept in. My shoulders went back to holding boulders.
“I’m gonna head home to shower.” I glanced at Val and then nodded to Ryan. “Good to see you.”
When I got out of the shower, I wasn’t surprised to find a text from Val.
Valentina: Everything okay? I came by last night but you were out cold.
I hadn’t even known she’d been here. But my phone was charged and there had been water and Tylenol on the end table. That made sense now.
Ford: Sorry about that. Just a long trip. I hadn’t eaten and had a few.
Valentina: No problem. I figured the trip might have been difficult. :-(
You could say that again.
She typed more before I could respond.
Valentina: Ryan surprised me. I know it sort of puts a damper on us spending time together this last weekend…
Yesterday, I would have said her son showing up on the last weekend I had to convince her what we had was more than a fling was the universe conspiring to rip my heart out. But today, without my brain swimming in alcohol, I was starting to think maybe fate had intervened.
Chicago had taught me a lesson. I needed to step back and allow Valentina to move on. She deserved an easy break. It’s what she wanted, and I would have just made it harder on her. Her son’s surprise trip would keep us from spending an entire weekend in bed—it sucked, though it was probably for the best.
Ford: It’s fine. Enjoy your time with him. I have a lot of work to do, anyway. Bella’s flight is Sunday. I’ll probably just drop her off and stay in the city.
Valentina: Ryan’s going to go surfing later. Maybe we could talk then?
Ford: Sure.
A few hours later, the only actual work I’d accomplished was to send an email to the real estate agent in Chicago, thanking her for her time, but letting her know I’d decided against moving forward with the repurchase. All the reasons for wanting that property had vanished the moment I left Marie’s office. She wrote back and didn’t seem surprised.
Bella spent the afternoon starting to pack and then went in to work for her final shift. I was cleaning out the fridge—tossing things we weren’t going to use over the next two days—when Val knocked at the back door.
“Hey.”
I slid the screen door open. She took one look at what I was doing and her smile fell. “I can’t believe the summer is really almost over.”
This afternoon, I’d decided not to mention what I’d found out in Chicago to Val. I wasn’t planning on telling my sister—why ruin her memory of our asshole father, too? So it didn’t seem fair to tell anyone else. That, and what good would it do? Val had lost enough faith in men with her own marriage. There was no reason to completely obliterate whatever hope she clung to that maybe not every guy out there was a total asshole.
But she knew something was off.
“Ryan decided to skip surfing because it was too flat. He went for a run, so I figured I’d stop over.” She looked around me into the living room. “Is Bella home? I thought I saw her car pull out.”
“She went to work. Left a few minutes ago.”
She nodded, and it took me a few seconds to realize why that seemed to make her feel badly. It was probably the first time she’d been in my presence alone that I didn’t try to maul her.
I pulled her to me and wrapped her in my arms. Inhaling deep, I took in the smell that would forever remind me of this summer—faded floral perfume, coconut suntan lotion, and the beach. I wanted to bottle the scent and call it Valentina.
I felt her shoulders relax as she snuggled into me. “What happened in Chicago?”
I swallowed. “Building just needs too much work.”
She looked at me. “I’m sorry. I know the project meant a lot to you.”
“It’s fine. It is what it is.”
“I had this big weekend planned for us. I was going to make your favorite dinner and be your favorite dessert. But with Ryan here…”
“I’m assuming you didn’t tell him about us.”
She shook her head. “I just couldn’t. And it has nothing to do with us. It’s just the first time I’ve seen him in months and…well, he’s barely accepted that his father and I aren’t getting back together. Yesterday, he actually asked me if there was a chance I could forgive his father.”
We’d talked about her ex before, but my interest in how she felt about him had definitely changed after my trip to Chicago.
I looked into her eyes. “You said the infidelity wasn’t the only issue, that it was the catalyst that caused you to step back and re-examine your marriage, and then you realized how broken things were. But what if you’d stepped back and seen a happy marriage?”
“I don’t know. It’s hard to say. But I think I’d be more apt to be able to move past a one-night stand, a drunken mistake he regretted. But not a relationship. Ryan had been seeing the woman he cheated with for months and had feelings for her. They stayed together through our divorce. I guess I just can’t see stepping back from more than a one-night stand and finding a happy marriage, because while mistakes can happen, having a relationship with someone else isn’t a mistake. It’s a choice.”
I nodded. “Ryan’s asking if you might get back together. Did he not see that your marriage wasn’t happy?”
She smiled sadly. “I didn’t even see that my marriage wasn’t happy.”
I guess you really never know what’s going on behind closed doors. This conversation had taken a depressing turn, and I needed to lighten it up. I reached around and slipped my hands into the back of her shorts. “So how light of a sleeper is your son? Are we sneaking to your place tonight or mine?”
She wrapped her hands around my neck. “How about if we sneak out and take a walk down the beach where the dunes get high. We can take along a blanket?”
“Nice. Finally having sand in the crack of my ass this summer will be worth it.” I brushed my lips to hers. “That sounds like a plan.”
Chapter 26
* * *
Valentina
It was now or never.
Ryan had just turned in for the night, and I’d taken a shower.
This was it. The moment of truth had finally come. A summer fling.
That’s what it was supposed to be. Get my one under the belt, stick my toe into the pool to feel the water before diving in. But somewhere along the way, it had turned into more. I tried to pretend it hadn’t, that the smile on my face was from just a good time—but that wasn’t the truth, was it?
I’d started falling for Ford before we even met. We’d connect
ed with just text exchanges. He’d made me laugh, made me be myself—a person I’d oddly forgotten how to be. And that was before the physical connection, which had been undeniably intense from the first touch. The man could light up my body in a way I didn’t even realize I could shine. But he did more than that—he lit up my insides. I hadn’t felt as alive as I had this summer in…well, forever.
For weeks I’d been questioning how I was going to walk away at the end of the summer. But as the last days ticked away, I’d started to wonder if I could walk away. Of course I physically could, but if I did, would I be leaving a piece of my heart behind?
I looked in the mirror as I swiped on some lipstick and had a little heart-to-heart with myself. “What are you so afraid of? You’ve already fallen for him.”
I closed my eyes, realizing the answer. You’re afraid to get hurt again.
That was the truth in a nutshell. I’d made every excuse in the book: You’re too young for me. I’m not ready for a relationship. I need to find myself. But they were all defenses I’d put up to avoid being smacked in the face with the truth.
I’m terrified.
Then there was the fact that Ford seemed to have stopped pushing for anything more lately. I suppose a person can only take so much rejection. Perhaps he’d warmed to the idea of a summer fling and no longer wanted anything more.
There was only one way to find out. It wasn’t like I could put it off any longer. This was it.
Now or never.
He could go back home and jump into the dating world in a few weeks. I couldn’t imagine he’d stay celibate for two years like me.
And maybe he’d meet someone he liked.
Sometimes you don’t get a second chance.
So what if it didn’t work out? Maybe he isn’t my forever. I might get hurt. But I could also regret not taking a chance.
And I’d rather have memories than regrets.
I suddenly felt a little out of breath. I wasn’t ready for things to be over, and I needed to let him know that tonight.
I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. Oh my God. You’re really going to take a chance.
Making my decision, the feeling of impending doom I’d had the last few days turned to giddy anticipation. I grabbed my phone, still smiling, and sent off a text.
Valentina: Meet soon?
It felt like the longest wait in my life.
Shit. What if he fell asleep?
What if I don’t get to talk to him.
What if…
The tiny dots started to jump around, and my pulse raced.
Ford: Ready when you are.
Thump-thump-thump.
God, my heart was pounding.
Valentina: Meet you on the beach in five!
I found a blanket in my bedroom closet and gently opened the door. Ryan’s bedroom was right next to mine. Not hearing a sound, I tiptoed down the stairs, thankful I’d decided to put a carpet runner over the stairs so they wouldn’t creak. In the kitchen, I left the lights off while I grabbed a bottle of wine and swiped two glasses from the cabinet before sliding the back door open. I’d have to remember to thank Ford again for ridding the door of the loud squeak the other morning while I was sleeping.
The moon was bright tonight. It lit the beach enough to see and made the water, which was unusually calm, glisten majestically. At the bottom of the stairs, Ford held up a blanket, a bottle of wine, and two wine glasses.
I laughed. “Great minds think alike.”
He reached around to his back pocket and pulled something out. Holding up a bottle opener, he smiled. “Where’s your opener?”
I hadn’t thought of that. I chuckled. “Okay, you win.”
We left my supplies under the stairs and took Ford’s with us for our walk. He took my hand in his, and it felt so natural. “There’s a dune about a quarter mile up ahead and no houses in the area.”
“Are you planning on something happening that we need privacy for?” I bumped my shoulder to his.
“It’s our last night together. I’m planning on something happening at least three times.”
He’d been teasing, but hearing him say it was our last night together made me feel anxious. My fears all came rushing back. What if he’d changed his mind? He’d been so persistent up until recently. Had he decided a summer fling was all he wanted? My nerves got the best of me as we walked, and I grew quiet.
When we arrived at the tall section of the dunes, Ford stopped, brushed some sticks out of the way, and spread out the blanket. He uncorked the wine, poured two glasses, and we sat side by side, facing the ocean.
It was such a serene night. The water washed against the shore fifty feet away, and the sound was almost hypnotic. The moon illuminated the ocean, casting a wide streak of light across the sparkling, dark water. We both stared. We’d just gotten here, and I already wanted this night to never end.
With that thought, I took a deep breath.
“Val, I….” Ford spoke at the same exact moment, I said, “Ford, I…”
We both laughed.
“You first,” he said.
“No, go ahead. Really,” I stalled. “I was only going to comment about how we should’ve done this earlier in the summer. Come down to the beach, I mean.”
Ford nodded. He picked up a twig—a small one, a few inches long—and broke it in half, tossing part of it. Then he broke the small piece a second time and did the same.
“Is everything okay?” I turned from the water to face him, tilting my head.
“Yeah. I’m just tired from my trip.”
“Oh. Okay.”
He shifted to face me and spent the longest time just studying my face. Finally, he brushed a piece of hair from my shoulder and began to speak. “This summer has been incredible. When we first met, you were looking to find yourself. But something happened over the last few months. You stopped trying to find the person you were, and let yourself be who you are now.” He swallowed. “I’ll never forget this summer.”
That sounded an awful lot like goodbye. A lump in my throat made it difficult to speak. “I feel different than I did when I came out here. I’m not mad at my ex-husband anymore. I’m not as worried about what people I don’t even know think.” I smiled. “Though I don’t think I’ll be shopping for anal beads by myself again in the near future.”
He smirked. “That’s a shame.”
“But seriously. You’re right. I feel like I’ve started to find who I am. And a lot of that is because of you. You made me stop looking back, stop clinging to my fears, and just be. It has been a really long time since I just lived in the moment.”
I took a deep breath and looked down, gathering the strength to say what I’d been thinking about for a while. “I know I said this couldn’t be more than a summer fling. But it was. It is. And…I don’t want it to end, Ford.”
Our eyes locked, and I saw so much turmoil swimming in his. He broke our gaze to look out over the ocean for a long time, and when he looked back at me, a pool of tears had built in his eyes.
Oh my God. Those don’t look like tears of happiness.
He took my hand and squeezed it. “You were the one who was right. I was wrong. You need to go live a little and experience things. I’m happy we had this summer—but that’s all it could ever be.”
It felt like an elephant sat on my chest. My heart snapped in half like that twig he’d so easily broken a few moments ago. Even though I’d known this was a distinct possibility, I wasn’t ready for how much it hurt.
I’d opened myself up for this, and it made it that much more painful to be rejected. I don’t know how I held in the sobbing, but I definitely couldn’t speak. So I simply nodded.
Ford took that to mean I agreed and pulled me to him for a hug. Silent tears ran down my cheeks as I clung to him. We rocked back and forth and held on tight. The way he held me so close, if he hadn’t just said what he’d said, I might’ve thought that he was holding on because he didn’t want it to end, either.
/>
After the longest time, I discreetly wiped away my tears and pulled my head back to look at him. I was glad we were in moonlight and not daylight so he couldn’t see the color of my face—I knew it had to be red and blotchy.
“Make love to me, Ford.”
I wanted to get lost in him at least one more time. He looked into my eyes, as if making sure that was what I really wanted. And in that moment, it hit me hard. God, I’d fallen in love with him.
I nodded, even though he hadn’t asked a question, and whispered, “Please.”
Ever so slowly, Ford wrapped his hands around my cheeks and started to kiss me. I poured everything I was feeling from my mouth into his—sadness, longing, love, desire. I wanted to show him with my touch how I felt about him, because I knew I’d never get the chance to say the words now.
The kiss was so passionate and tender, and my heart beat so fast in my chest. When he guided me to lie down on the blanket, our lips separated, and we stared into each other’s eyes. It felt…I don’t know…monumental somehow. Like my life was going to change after this night in some major way, and I wasn’t so sure it was for the better anymore.
But I needed him inside of me. I needed to feel the connection one last time. Reaching up, I cradled his neck and pulled his lips back down to mine. The feel of his weight on top of me was almost crushing, but it was exactly what I needed.
Ford took it slow, kissing down my neck and across my collarbone. He kissed along my jaw and up to my ear. “You’re so incredibly beautiful, Valentina. I’ll remember this summer forever.”
I was never so lost in a moment. I heard nothing else, saw nothing else, felt only him. Somehow we shed our clothes and then he was at my entrance, once again looking down at me.
He pushed inside with a tenderness that made my tears begin to flow once more. He kissed me again in the nick of time. We’d always been connected, but this time was different—it felt like our minds, bodies, and souls were all in alignment as he began to move in and out of me. Nothing had ever felt so incredible. I’d heard people say when they made love they became one—yet, until this moment, I’d never actually experienced it myself. But we were one, connected in every way we could be—even if just for those brief moments. It was a heartbreaking yet magical experience.
