She lay on her side, looking him over slowly and he felt her gaze all the way through his body. Her hand, trembling just a bit, stroked the length of his chest again. This time, not impeded by any fabric, she followed the path of the hair in the center of his chest to his stomach. She hesitated at his navel, then drifted to the side, and felt his hip, the joint of his leg and down his thigh.
“Is everything to your liking?” Nick asked.
“Everything is so warm,” she said.
“Warm?”
“Your skin is so much warmer than mine,” she said.
“Are you cold?”
“Not particularly,” she said. “You just feel hot, by comparison.”
He smiled. “I guess men are built to keep women warm at night.”
“And how do you do that?”
He rolled over and wrapped an arm around her, and pressed himself into her side. “Like this.”
As he kissed her shoulder, she shuddered, and moaned. Their bodies fit as though crafted for one another. He wrapped his hands around her, touching every part of her he could reach and she did the same, wandering over his shoulders, down his back, feeling the curve of his hips into his rear. Their hips rocked into one another and Nick moaned, aching for fulfillment.
He wedged one leg between hers, and she ground her hips into him, making him groan as he moved his leg to increase her pleasure.
“I feel as if I could ignite,” she whispered. “As if I could just burst into flames at any moment.”
He continued kissing her, letting his fingers dance over her. “Let me help you.” When he reached the apex of her thighs, she tensed, and he caressed her softly, making her buck and moan against him while he pressed kisses onto her breasts and shoulders.
“I do not…I cannot…”
“Yes you can,” he whispered. “You are free now, remember?”
She trembled and moaned as he guided his fingers along her womanly area. As the orgasm claimed her, he slipped one finger just inside her folds, and it tipped her over the edge. Tressey shook and shuddered, crying out as her body erupted in pleasure.
As she finally started to relax, his own desire was about to explode. He had never felt quite so hard and quite so ready to be inside anyone in his life.
“Oh my,” Tressey whispered, running her hand over her damp brow.
“There is more.”
She closed her eyes and opened them, an exaggerated blink. “I cannot imagine more.”
With his leg still between hers, he pushed her limp legs apart. “There is.”
He rained kisses on her face, and the light kisses turned into powerful ones again. She rocked her hips into his, and this time there was nothing between them. Skin to skin, he held her and she moaned.
Unable to wait any longer, Nick broke the kiss as he pressed into her opening. Tressey arched her body, whispering “yes” over and over as he started to slide inside her.
Forcing himself not to hurry, he entered her in fractions, watching her face as she adjusted to fit him.
“Tressey…”
“Shh,” she whispered. Her brow furrowed, making her look deep in concentration. She clutched his upper arms, letting out a soft mew as he pushed in another miniscule amount.
“Are you all right?” He stroked her cheek.
“This is a…mm…a most unusual sensation.” She arched her hips into his.
Nick let out a groan, her movement bringing him a bit deeper still. “I take it you like this?”
She smiled.
He pushed forward more, feeling the barrier of her virginity. “This will be painful at first, but the sensation will fade quickly.”
She nodded, gritting her teeth.
Nick pulled back slightly then pushed forward, a hard thrust that broke through her inner restraint. She cried out, and he froze. “Tressey?”
Tears appeared at the corner of her eyes. “Give me a moment.”
A single tear spilled down her cheek, and he wiped it away with the ball of his thumb.
“I am all right,” she finally whispered.
Nick slid back, then slowly forward, giving her time to adjust. He continued to rock gently in and out of her, though the tempo was killing him. She was tight and hot around him, and he wanted–so badly–to bury himself in her, to lose himself in her. If it took all night for her body to adjust and be ready, he would wait.
Her hips started moving in time with his, and he savored her tight, wet heat, and with each stroke, she welcomed him more. Hesitantly, he increased his pace, and she moved with him.
“More,” she whispered.
“Yes,” Nick groaned.
He pushed deeper, letting his body lead, not thinking, nor wanting to. He panted with every thrust, Tressey doing the same, her little pants coming out like cries.
She spread her legs wider, and placed her feet on his legs. He adjusted his hips to go deeper. Moaning, she dug her fingernails into his arms and arched toward him.
She cried out as she shook from completion. Nick did not stop moving against her, and with each thrust she pulsed around him, driving him to the edge of control, and beyond. He managed two powerful thrusts before he was spent as well.
He collapsed on her, sweat covering his brow. Taking in a shuddering breath, he rolled to the side, slipping his arms under her and pulling her against him. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she whispered.
Chapter 45
Today, I leave Castle Hohburg and the contract of my betrothal.
And Nick.
I paid little attention as Alda packed my meager belongings–the few dresses did not even feel like mine.
Though we had made love last night, I did not sleep well. I wanted to savor the secret moments with Nick, because I knew they were over. I had watched his chest rise and fall, took comfort in the soft snores he made as he slept and the simple fact of his presence there. Just before the dawn crept in, he awoke and we loved each other a second time–faster, more fully, more desperately than the first–because we knew as the sun came up, we would not be together much longer.
I told myself all morning, as my things were packed, that this was for the best. I needed to learn who I was and who I was supposed to be–but my leaving felt more final with every item the maid packed away and I could not stand it.
This was a good thing. I was free, not bound by a contract or a prize to be won. No matter how I reminded myself of this, I questioned my rationale.
Staring into the castle courtyard, I stroked the edge of the window and tried to bury my doubts.
Sometimes it is better to not think, and just do, rather than to dwell. Had not I said something like that to Penn a few days ago? It seemed logical at the time. Right now, however, it felt like foolish babbling.
A knock on my chamber door made me jump and I turned to answer it, but Alda was quicker, and let my visitor in the room.
“Your Grace,” I said to Duchess von Hohburg, dipping into a curtsey.
The duchess scanned the room, taking in everything going on inside.
“You seem ready for travel.”
“I am ready to know the parents I lost,” I said, watching her eyes.
“A wise choice,” she replied. “What about your things?”
“Alda is getting my things together now.”
She shook her head. “From the tower. I can send men to retrieve anything you want, and have it sent to the von Stroebel’s.”
The tower? I had not considered anything being left there…what could I want? Then it struck me. “There is a music box. Nicolas brought it to me before he… Before I… Before.” I blushed, staring at the floor, embarrassed I had forgotten such a special gift.
The duchess raised her hand. “Consider it done.” She turned to walk out, then paused. “Is there anything else? Perhaps the herbs Gothel kept there?”
“Why would I want those?”
The duchess shrugged. “The healers might be interested in them, if you know h
ow to use them.”
Of course the healers here would want the herbs. Otherwise they would go to waste. If some good could be done with them, then it could alleviate some of the darkness she had woven around them.
“Please, have your men retrieve the herbs.” I pictured the shelves where so many of the bottles stood, many unmarked. “But have them take care–many of the herbs are not labeled. I will need to go through them, making sure none are poisonous.”
The duchess smiled. “You have a very regal way about you, Lady Katherina von Stroebel.”
My cheeks flamed at her compliment. “I was not trying… I did not mean to sound…”
The duchess brought her hand up. “Please, child. I like that in you. You were very scared when you first arrived. No doubt anyone would be in your position. However, I am glad to see you are growing into your station so well.”
“Thank you, Your Grace.” The sweet compliment brought tears to my eyes though I tried to force them back. It was so warming to receive such a sentiment.
“I have your things together, my lady,” Alda said, and headed toward the door. “I shall have them brought around front for the carriage.”
“Thank you, yes, that would be wonderful,” I replied.
The maid stepped into the corridor and the duchess started to follow. “I believe the von Stroebels are nearly ready to depart.”
I followed her to the main hallway, where I was greeted by Nick, his father, the von Stroebels and Penn–now Duke von Gruenewald.
Penn was the closest, and the usual jovial expression on his face had turned to a hard line, making him look quite a bit older.
“It was very nice to meet you, Lady Katherina,” Penn said, taking my hand and kissing my fingers.
I half-expected him to do something to irritate Nick, but he merely released my hand as propriety would dictate, and barely a smile crossed his face.
“Penn, you shall be a wonderful duke,” I said, smiling at him.
“And you are a lady,” he replied, nodding. Whether he heeded my words, I knew not, but I wished him the best in his new title.
Nick came to my side. “He is grumpy because he has more responsibilities now, pay him no mind.”
Nick whisked me away for the formal leave-taking from his parents, and I said goodbye to them and thanked them for their hospitality. Then I noticed Kiki was not there.
“Where is Kiki? I would like to say goodbye to her,” I said to Nick.
Nick glanced around as if he had not noticed she was absent. “No idea. I have not seen her since I picked her off the ground at the execution.”
“She would have wanted to say goodbye,” Duchess von Hohburg said. She stopped a maid who carried a large bundle of sheets. The maid answered her and quickly took off.
“Interesting,” the duchess said. “She is locked in her room, saying she does not feel well.”
“Should I go see her? Maybe get her something to drink?”
The duchess shook her head. “It is one of her headaches. The only thing that makes them better is darkness and quiet. We will leave her alone. She will be happy to write you letters, I am certain.”
“Oh I see,” I replied, sad that I would not be able to say good bye to Kiki. I would most certainly miss her–my first true female friend.
The von Stroebels had done something to their clothing, which now seemed to fit them better. Maybe it was simply the way they stood? Whatever the cause, they looked more regal than they ever had before.
“You look wonderful,” I said to them.
“As do you,” Duchess von Stroebel said. “Shall we be going? Too much longer, and it will be very late when we reach our home.”
“Of course.” I looked for something, anything in Nick’s eyes. They were only blue, no messages hidden in their depths. I turned back to my parents. “We should be off.”
They headed out the door with the von Hohburgs and I was behind them, Nick escorting me. Penn remained in the doorway, a scowl marring his otherwise handsome features.
Nick stopped me as I was about to climb into the carriage. “You do not have to go, Tressey.”
“I really should.”
He let out a sigh. “I want you to stay. Please.”
“I should acquaint myself with my parents. See where I was born. Understand a bit more about where I came from.” I tried to put on a brave front, but tears seeped from my eyes.
Nick wiped them away. “I will miss you.”
He kissed my forehead. Then he kissed my lips, making me go slack against him. It was not a sweet, pleasant kiss one would give an acquaintance in front of their parents. This was something much deeper and private, and usually reserved for bedroom chambers and hidden spaces. As his tongue slid around mine, my body started to hum the now-familiar tune and I pressed myself against him. I wanted to find a dark nook and allow him free rein, but I could not.
Mostly because his mother boxed him upside the head.
Which of course made his head bump mine and we parted, rubbing our foreheads.
“Mother,” he groaned.
“You should know better,” she replied.
Even I could see the glittering grin in her eyes and could not help laughing.
Nick saw the amusement too, after a moment. “Forgive me, Mother. I do happen to be quite fond of this one.”
She sighed. “Ornery little cad.” She turned to her husband, who stood on the steps to the main entrance, and I could not help noticing the way they stared at each other. It was the same adoring look Nick gave me.
In my heart, I knew I would miss him, but as my gaze wandered over to my parents, my real parents, I knew this was for the best. Even if it hurt me to leave Nick, I could not be his by default. I could not do it.
The duke helped the duchess into the carriage, with reverence and respect and more joy than I had ever noticed in their eyes. They deserved to know me, and I them.
I deserved to choose my own path, not have it chosen for me.
Nick helped me inside the carriage. Just before he shut the door, he whispered to me, “I love you.”
I touched his hand. “I love you too.”
“At least agree to the betrothal.”
I shook my head, touching his cheek. “I am free, remember? I have to choose for myself.”
He nodded, and closed the door.
My heart screamed as the carriage started on its way. I watched him out the window for as long as I could see him. He did not move from his spot, either.
I was going to miss him horribly.
Chapter 46
“Drown your sorrows,” Penn said, pressing a cup full of dark whiskey into Nick’s hand.
He took the cup, staring at the door in the study, half-expecting Tressey to burst through, spouting professions of love and the desire to never leave his side again. The longest hour Nick had ever lived through was the hour since her departure.
How long he had stood outside, watching the carriage and escorts leave, he did not know. He could not look away until the dust in the sky was gone.
Even then Penn had to tug on his arm to bring him inside.
“It only works if you put the cup to your lips,” Penn said, taking another tug from his. From the little belch he let out, Penn had drunk several cups to Nick’s one.
Nick brought the liquid to his mouth. “My sorrows are known. What are yours?”
Penn finished his drink and let it clatter onto the desktop on which he perched. “I am perfectly jolly,” he replied, grabbing the flagon off the desk and pouring another cup.
“Uh huh.” Nick stared at his friend.
He had been so wrapped in Tressey and the sentencing he had not really paid attention. Oh, he had noticed Penn’s more surly expressions and even spent a few moments in contemplation of a reason, but never determined one.
He should have paid more attention. Even Tressey had said he had spoken to her, which was unusual. Penn rarely consulted anyone other than him or Bryan. More than that, Nick ha
d been in the dungeon when Penn pummeled Orbert. Even now, he could see the cold rage in his friend’s eyes–something he had never seen in him before.
“All things considered, I am practically ebullient. All I lack is a whore to make everything perfect.” While the words were pure Penn, his tone was bitter.
Nick was quite sure he would not be jolly, female company or not. “You should be celebrating. You and Bryan. Higher ranks, more holdings, the Gruenewald dukedom returned to the proper family–”
“I never wanted it,” Penn snapped. “I was happy. Pleased with my place in the world. I did not want the title, the lands, the responsibility.”
“Ahh,” Nick said, and began to understand. “Now it is your turn to grow up. Marry. Create heirs. No more gallivanting.”
“Bring Gruenewald province back to a financially strong holding.” He shook his head. “I am not one for numbers, but even I know the province is dying.” He slumped into the chair across from Nick. “Give me a sword, a map. I can tell you where to hit the enemy, kill him where he stands. Show me books, lists of numbers and accounts, and you might as well poison me. I shall die trying to figure them out.”
So that was it, then. “Hire someone to do it for you.”
Penn shook his head. “You do not understand. I have to fix it, because it is now mine. My province. My responsibility. No honorable man would do otherwise. You,” he pointed at Nick. “You know what to do, are ready to take the lead. If your father, bless him, died tomorrow, you would know exactly what needed to be done. You have been ready for this for years, just waiting to find that special person–”
“Now wait–”
“No, you have been looking for years, another item to mark off the responsible, honorable son checklist. Whether under the guise of searching for von Stroebel’s missing daughter, or trying to be polite to the noble ladies flung in your path, you were looking.”
“I was not. I did not want to be married.” And he had not, until he met Tressey.
Penn held up a finger, like a tutor making a point. “Ahh, but you did. You never gallivanted, not in the last few years. Where I was enjoying youth, you never partook from the stream of women around.”
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