by T. S. Joyce
“Look at me,” he rumbled against the sensitive edge of her ear.
“How?” she asked, turning her face.
Oh, there. The dresser mirror reflected them, and oh-my-damn, he was so hot she stopped rocking.
“I’m not looking at anyone else because I don’t need anyone else. Only you, Anya.” He rubbed a slow circle against her clit and she gasped. “You’re more than enough for me.”
Her eyes flew wide as he pulled out of her and she watched his shaft plunge back inside of her. It didn’t hurt. Not even close. It felt so good this way that the pressure of orgasm was already building.
“Harder,” she pleaded, watching his back flex with every thrust. She couldn’t take her eyes away from the lithe power of his contracting body.
He crashed into her and eased back slowly, then bucked into her again, over and over, and she was gone, completely lost in the stars somewhere. Release was ripping through her as she panted his name over and over to the rhythm of her pulsing release.
Chase sped up and his upper thighs slapped against her backside three times before he growled out and spilled into her. She was busy wondering how he could go again so quickly, but then her second orgasm built in seconds and tumbled through her so unexpectedly, she backed into him and froze, unable to do much more as pleasure quivered through her.
Chase watched her in the mirror with such adoration and pride, and she smiled as she realized what he’d done.
He wasn’t trying to push the boundaries of her fears in the bedroom. He was healing the emotional scars Nathan had given her, stitching them up until they were as unimportant as any of the old and forgotten scars on Chase’s chest.
He was going to put all of her broken pieces back together, one by one.
Chapter Ten
Chase had exaggerated when he claimed he slept lightly. Thank goodness.
Twice, she had tested her theory by trying to wake him in the night for small things, but he hadn’t stirred much either time. In fact, one of those times, she’d shut his bedroom door to hear a thud on the other side, and when she opened it again, a pillow sat on the ground near her feet. He’d thrown a pillow at her, the little sleep gremlin.
As she lay nestled beside him, staring into the darkness, his arm heavy and warm over her hip, she debated not meeting Nathan at all. Surely he would get the hint she wasn’t coming back if she just left him waiting in the woods all night long. And she was so comfortable and safe right here beside Chase. She wished she could just ignore an order from someone she had no connection with anymore.
It was the coward’s way out though, and that term didn’t apply to her. Not anymore. And what if her snubbing his meeting damaged Nathan’s pride and psyche enough that he came to retrieve her and endangered Chase? She’d never feel safe with her wild imagination convincing her he’d be at every turn. Her nightmares would run rampant and Chase would wonder why she suddenly took to sleeping with all the windows and doors locked. She couldn’t live like that when one short meeting, five minutes of her time, could set her free. Was she scared? Hell yeah. Terrified. But more than that, she was just ready to move on.
But this was Nathan and he would be furious when he figured out he had lost control of her. Inner bear was hiding and whimpering inside at the thought of seeing him again. Fear blurred her decision and she lay paralyzed in the dark room beside Chase. Maybe Nathan would give up and leave her alone forever if she stood him up.
But…
If she didn’t go and tell him face-to-face, she would never again get the chance to stick up for herself. And she wasn’t the cowardly bear he’d thrown into this storm. She’d come out of it stronger than she could ever have imagined possible, and he should see how much better off she was without his poisonous affection.
Slipping out from under Chase’s arm, she tested him. “I’m going to get a drink of water,” she whispered, kissing his cheek. “You want one?”
Nothing but a moan before he turned his head and his breathing deepened once again. Pulling on jeans and a dark T-shirt, she snatched her shoes and padded past the creaky floor plank by the front door. With one last glance at the empty hallway behind her, she slipped out the front and made her way toward a trail to her left.
The moon was full and the night bugs quiet, like they knew of her dark deed and were perched on their trees, judging her. The breeze was soft and filled the night with the soft whooshing of tree limbs. When the trail ended, she cut her own path through the woods, due west, toward the main road that led to Sheridan. She was supposed to meet Nathan on the edge of Bear Valley property and spill Riker’s secrets, but unless he wanted to know about the wheat harvest she’d just participated in two days ago, she had nothing for him.
Inner bear shrank deeper inside of her, trembling. Each step she took now was harder, not only because of the reaching brambles and ferns hiding holes to twist her ankles up, but because she drifted closer to Nathan. And she was losing her nerve.
This was stupid coming out here alone, but who could she tell? She was betraying Bear Valley, and the only way to keep her home was to end it here, right now, tonight. The only way to save the relationship she was building with Chase was to stand up for herself and tell Nathan she wasn’t anyone’s pawn anymore. She could do this. She would be short with him, professional and concise, and wouldn’t let him manipulate her no matter what.
The hike seemed to take forever and she fretted over Chase waking to find her gone. He would worry, so she picked up the pace and jogged carefully through the moonlit woods. Her breath caught as she spied the fence that separated Bear Valley property from the rest of the world. The guards she’d seen both times at the entrance were probably patrolling the woods right now, so she needed to be fast. She hopped the fence and loped toward the road.
The moonlight made the empty highway shine down the middle, illuminating the center stripe, and she pulled up short as she reached the edge. She was supposed to cross the road and meet him in the woods on the other side, but her feet were suddenly too heavy to move, as if she were dragging cement shoes. Leaving Bear Valley suddenly seemed really dangerous.
Nathan appeared like an apparition on the side of the highway, and as she stood frozen, he sauntered across the pavement. Dark wash jeans hung low on his tapered waist and his muscles bulged and flexed under the thermal shirt he wore as he moved gracefully toward her.
“Hello, love,” he said.
The endearment made her stomach feel like she’d swallowed cold acid.
When he reached her, he leaned down to kiss her cheek and she jerked away. His blue eyes turned as cold as snow. “What information have you got for me, mate?”
With a strong, steadying breath, she said, “I’m not your mate. I never was and you tricked us into thinking differently.”
Nathan scoffed. “Is this because you aren’t marked, love? Bear me a cub and I’ll consider it.” He wrapped his fingers around her throat so fast, he blurred. “Now tell me what you’ve found, before I lose my patience.”
“Nothing,” she gasped, clawing at his hand. “They’re good people.”
The world tipped as she was dragged backward and without breath, she grew dizzy. Her body made a thud against a nearby tree and pain ripped through her as he lowered her down to eye level. Her shirt came up and the jagged bark of the tree cut into her back. Tears came unbidden to her eyes. She’d never been so scared.
“Tell me,” he said, his voice crackling with authority and dominance.
Her bear was hidden so deep down, she couldn’t even feel her anymore, as if she were human instead of shifter now. Powerless. Anya wanted to hide with her, far away from his gaze that promised her slow death.
“You have lost your mind, Nathan.” Her voice trembled like a flame, but this had to be said. “You’ve used your people to fight your wars, killing hundreds of our kind in the process. I won’t help you hurt Bear Valley. They are the best of us left. You sent the wrong person to spy for you. I’m not like you. I still have a soul.
”
His nostrils flared and his face turned red with rage. “You smell like another, you little whore.” His grip shifted to her hair and he wrenched her head backward as her feet hit the ground. “Tell me you didn’t let someone else fuck you, bitch. Tell me!”
Tears streamed down her cheeks as her hair lifted from her scalp and desperately, she tried to pry his hands free. “I have a mate now. I belong to Bear Valley.”
His chuckle was low and cruel. “No, Anya. You belong to me.” He ripped her shirt at the collar and threw her down to the ground, then pulled a knife from behind him. She scrambled backward but he was on her so fast. “I’m going to mark you, then I’m going to kill you for your betrayal, and you’ll die mine, as the mate of the alpha of the Long Claws.”
She screamed in terror and fought like some wild thing. Her bear finally stirred, angry with his treacherous plans. He brought the knife to her sternum and she begged, “Please don’t do this. Please!”
His smile was empty as she felt the tip of the knife cut into her chest, and suddenly, her bear was there—loud, roaring and scrabbling to escape.
Anya let her beast out.
Her Andean bear exploded from her and Nathan changed into a giant white polar bear at almost the same moment. One of the last of his kind, his fur was tinged in blue under the moonlight. He stood and roared and she spun and ran back for Bear Valley as fast as she could.
He was going to kill her. She was going to die so close to sanctuary and she grunted with every desperate foothold she gained. He was right behind her, his breath brushing the fur of her back. Pushing herself faster and faster, trees and brush whipped by her in a blur. The fence! She skidded into a pole, barely able to avoid the barbed wires. This was it—her last stand. Turning, she stood on her hind legs and prepared to fight the bastard.
Crashing brush echoed through the woods and he stood to meet her, paw raised high.
And it became so clear.
She knew what he wanted to do. His empty, soulless eyes conveyed the plan of a mad man. He was still going to mark her before he killed her. As his curved claws arched toward her shoulder, she went limp in a split second decision. She’d die now, but she was going to anyway. At least this way would be quicker and she’d go unmarked by the man who had caused her so much pain and uncertainty.
Red seared across her neck and face and tufts of her creamy white fur floated the air as she hit the ground.
Just as Nathan turned to finish her off, a blur of red fur flashed over the fence and the murderous white bear disappeared under a mass of it. A roar of pain broke through the night and the sound of slapping claws made her wince in remembered agony. Chase was here! He’d come for her, and he was fighting Nathan. He was a warrior, fighting furiously against Nathan as each powerful claw and bite pushed the white bear farther away from her.
She tried to sit up but nothing seemed to work right. A hand stilled her.
“Shhh,” Joanna said from above her. Where had she come from? And why was she crying? “Just lay still now.” Her voice was thick with emotion and warm tear drops pit-patted against Anya’s fur. “Everything is going to be okay.” Standing, Joanna loaded a shotgun with giant shells and clicked the barrel closed.
For her betrayal, Anya deserved this. She wished she could tell Joanna it was okay. That she was right to do this. That she couldn’t be saved anyway. She wished she could explain to her that she would need to move on from what she had to do here tonight, and live without fear of Anya haunting her.
Joanna lifted the gun and pulled the trigger.
Chapter Eleven
Joanna aimed the shot blast into the air and the noise boomed against the woods.
Chase disengaged from Nathan and stood on his hind legs as the powerful white bear recovered and mirrored him. Joanna stalked forward. “Leave now,” she growled. “I’ll only ask you once before the next shot blows a hole in you so wide, we’ll be able to see fucking moonlight through you.”
Chase circled like he would attack again. “Don’t,” Joanna warned. “You’ll be banished if you kill him.” She swung her gaze back to Nathan and pulled the hammer back. It didn’t seem like she had the same qualms for her own future.
Nathan’s blue, wintry eyes were filled with such hatred. How must it feel to face down two women he’d tried to kill because they had rejected him? He lunged and Joanna pulled the trigger.
Anya tensed as Nathan’s brain matter blasted across the ferns. Heavy as a sack of stones, the heartless alpha of the Long Claws fell.
The edges of her vision blurred and she struggled to hold onto the sight of Chase pacing the woods around Nathan’s body, drawn to the scent of the blood that filled her senses. So much of it. Coating the woods of Bear Valley—tainting it. Hers and Nathan’s scent mingled—two people destined to die here.
“Chase,” Joanna said through a shoulder-wracking sob. “You need to change back. I can’t carry Anya. She needs help. Chase! She needs you.”
The giant red grizzly paced closer to Anya’s crumpled body, like he didn’t know where he was. His eyes were all raging animal, but slowly, they softened. There he was, her beautiful bear. He’d hate her now. She’d broken his trust and was no better than the woman who had scarred him before her. But for now, she could go looking at him, knowing she was free of Nathan’s mark.
The woods grew dimmer and all of the warmth was seeping from her, and just as she closed her eyes, Chase raised his head to the moon and bellowed a roar of agony.
****
The hum of a gnat buzzing around her face was irritating as Anya clung to sleep. The drone of an air conditioning unit grated on her last nerve. Her rumbling stomach and parched throat were also annoying. Everything made her grumpy, even the clinging sheets that were trying to ensnare her legs.
“She’s waking up,” someone murmured from far off. A woman’s voice, familiar and comforting. Joanna.
Confusion swirled through her. Why was Joanna at Chase’s house? And why was she so damned hungry? She scrunched her face in an effort to shrug off the last tendrils of sleep and screamed with the unexpected pain. Flailing and panicked, she tried to escape the burn that snaked across her neck and face like gunpowder flames.
“Shhh, Anya. It’s okay. Hold her.”
Hands latched onto her wrists and she opened her eyes and bucked up against the wall. Brody held her in an iron grip, his face grim as he seemed to be interested only in staring at the corner of the twin bed under her. Joanna sat in a hotel chair, filling a needle from a bottle of clear liquid.
“Here, stay still and this will take the edge off,” she said, quiet as a breath. The needle pricked her skin but the pain was nothing compared to that in her neck.
“W-where am I?” Anya stuttered.
Joanna shot Brody a significant look and sighed. “We’re in a hotel up in Bozeman. Riker sent us away.
It was then that she saw Chase, sitting quietly in a chair in the corner of the room. The light from the window didn’t touch him and in the shadow, his eyes glowed an eerie color. He was staring at her so intently, his elbows on his knees and hands clenched in front of his mouth. He looked like he hadn’t shaved in a long time and she frowned.
“How long have I been asleep?”
“Five days. It was pretty touch and go for a while—”
A rumbling growl sounded from the corner of the room and Jo stopped talking. With a look of determination, she continued. “You were hurt really badly, Anya.”
Chase stood abruptly and threw open the door, then slammed it behind him so hard, the room shuddered.
“Jo, was everyone sent out of Bear Valley, or just me?” She couldn’t let them all suffer outside of the clan for her mistakes.
“Riker said he thought it would be better if we laid low for a while. You and I were asked to leave. Brody and Chase followed.”
“Oh, God,” she breathed. She had betrayed him, and now she’d taken his home away.
“The Long Claws have declared w
ar,” Brody said low. “They aim to avenge their fallen alpha.”
She was going to be sick. A mixture of horror and whatever havoc the medicine was wreaking on her system was a nauseating combination. “When?”
Brody shrugged and ghosted a glance at her face, then looked away. “I don’t know. Soon.”
Slow numbness travelled through her, making her body feel detached and she struggled to put her thoughts together. “But you and Chase are his fight trainers. You’re some of his best defense against the Long Claws. You have to go back.”
“I’m not leaving Jo, and Chase…shit. Anya, we’re stuck until you’re well enough to talk to Riker and the rest of the council. You and Joanna both.”
“Now. I’m better now.”
“You’re not, Anya,” Jo said as a tear slipped to her cheek. “You aren’t okay.”
“Show me,” she said in a trembling voice. “Show me why Brody won’t look at me.”
“Anya,” Brody warned.
“No, Brody. You and Chase can’t keep it from her forever. She’s strong.” Joanna looked at her with pleading, uncertain eyes. “You’re strong, right Anya?”
Anya’s fear and reserve slipped away. She’d faced down Nathan, and her bear had come through and fought for her. She was stronger than she had even realized. Standing, she wobbled and steadied herself on Joanna’s outstretched hand. Her legs felt like she hadn’t used them before and she had to step carefully as she made her way to the bathroom. “I want to do this alone,” she said, and closed the door softly behind her. The click of the lock was so loud in the small space.
Inhaling deeply, she turned and lifted her chin, staring at what Nathan had done to her in the mirror. She’d been stitched, but her shifter healing had kicked in and someone had removed them already. The long claw mark on her neck stretched up her jaw and tapered off across one cheek. It was gruesome and she looked away with a gasp. Her shoulders hunched, as if a hundred pounds of dead weight had been thrown across them.
