My words make Laura’s eyes go wider as she looks over in the direction of my bedroom. “You’re seriously choosing her over me?”
“Yes.”
“We’ve been together longer than you’ll ever be. How can you think you have a future with her?”
“She gives me a reason to want a future. Which is why I chose her!” I shout, not knowing why I even bothered telling her, but hearing myself say it gives me some sort of fulfillment.
“Don’t come running to me when she breaks your heart,” she throws back at me as she stomps past me.
“It won’t happen.”
I don’t know whether she heard me or not, but I’m already happy to see her reach for her luggage. I look over to Trey. “Can you make sure she gets somewhere safe?” I ask him, still feeling guilt ridden over everything that just happened.
He looks torn. “I’ll make sure she gets to the airport,” he replies, before adding, “I better not get my assed kicked by Abigail, or I’m coming after you for it.”
Rolling my eyes at Trey’s remark, I walk my way to the bedroom, finding Abigail pacing back and forth.
“Get out!” she shouts, her earlier fury still evident. “You’re going to strain your ankle if you keep pacing that way,” I calmly reply as I ignore her request.
She pierces me with her glare. “Why did you stop me?”
“Orange isn’t really your color, Abigail.” I tease. My remark is not what she wanted to hear. “You think I like putting up with the sluts from your past?” she throws back at me.
“Abigail, you knew from the beginning what my past was like. You chose to accept it. I don’t understand why you’re always making this my fault.”
Snorting, she answers, “So I’m just supposed to smile while putting up with it?” My silence accompanied by a sigh doesn’t help. “Why should I even have to?” she asks, still pacing.
“Because you love me.” She freezes as she turns to face me, her eyes furiously looking back at me. This may or may not end well with that look.
Gradually she steps her way to me, her arms wrapping around my waist as she lays her head on my chest. “You’re right,” I hear her say barely above a whisper. “I’m so sorry.”
“Abigail, I can’t promise this will be the last time you’ll have to deal with my past, but it’s part of me. I can’t change that.”
KNOWING HIS WORDS are true, I can only accept them. I don’t say anything because in all reality, I have nothing to argue against. He’s right. He had a past when I met him. I knew there would be consequences to it, but I was willing to follow my heart and fall in love with Matt. His past was now something I would have to learn to live with and accept … because I love him. In time, I know it will be worth it.
“JUST PICK A fucking tree already, my balls are freezing. I may not want kids right now, but I do want them eventually. I’m not going to get them if my balls freeze off,” Trey shouts from the next aisle of trees over.
Rolling my eyes, I take another turn looking at the rows and rows of trees ahead of us. I’m still indecisive over which to choose. They’re either bald or ugly. I just want the perfect tree. Is that too much to ask?
Matt walks up to my side, his labored breathing forming a cloud of mist around us. “Beautiful, I’m beginning to regret this idea,” he huffs at me.
With a chuckle I start walking again, leaving him to follow.
“If you don’t pick a fucking tree, Abigail, within the next five minutes, I’m cutting down the one next to you,” Trey shouts as he makes his way to join us. Rolling my eyes again, I look at which tree he’s referring to, and surprisingly it looks like a winner. “I like it,” I voice to Matt.
“You serious?”
Looking at him I see him eying the tree from head to toe. His head tilting back as he makes his way to the tip again. It’s a tall tree, very tall, but it looks perfect in my eyes.
“I don’t know if it’s going to fit in the living room,” he doubtfully adds.
Sighing, I fully take it in, already growing disappointed from the doubt. He’s right; it might not fit in the living room. Trey, now standing beside us, plants his hands on his hips looking confused.
“Give up and admit you should’ve just bought a fucking tree instead of hunting one down.”
“This wasn’t my idea. It was Matt’s. You could have stayed home if you wanted to,” I remind him, remembering my offer before we left.
“What, and not offer my muscled man power to cut this thing down?” he says, holding his muscled arms up, displaying them. At least I think there are muscles underneath the sleeves of his jacket. He looks like a giant black marshmallow from the puffiness of his coat. He realizes were standing directly in front of a tree, now fully taking it in as Matt had done moments ago. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, right?”
“What, you scared you don’t have enough muscle to carry this one?” I mock.
“I was only messing around. This shit is huge, supermodel. There is no fucking way that thing is going to fit in our living room.” He confirms Matt’s earlier statement, making me grow disappointed.
“You’re right,” I sadly admit before starting to walk away.
“You sure this is the one, beautiful?”
Turning around, I nervously chew on my lip as I take in the tree one last time before I nod. “Well, then, we’re cutting the fucker down!” Trey shouts, holding the saw up high in the hair, imitating a lumberjack. I cannot resist laughing along with Matt.
Matt was the enthusiastic one that wanted me to have the full Christmas experience this year. It was his idea we come to a Christmas tree farm to cut down a tree. Apparently, a lot wasn’t good enough for him, but in all reality, I think he secretly wanted to cut down his own tree. Trey wasn’t too excited about the idea. It was in the low forties outside, but we didn’t have any snow on the ground. So what was he complaining about? It was Matt’s declaration of calling him a pussy that made him jump up from the couch and beat us to the truck Matt had borrowed from a friend.
Both Matt and Trey are already on the ground sawing away at the base of the tree. Watching the back and forth motion between them makes me think a dirty thought, which I so kindly share. “Come on boys. I’m pretty sure you both have jacked off faster than that before,” I tease.
“I don’t know about you, Matt, but I don’t need to jack off. I have girls falling on my cock all the time,” Trey jokes, earning a protested moan from Matt. “I’m pretty sure it’s what he was doing when you weren’t around, supermodel.”
“Shut the fuck up and cut faster!” Matt demands of Trey. “Or I’m going to cut your balls off next!” he shouts at him as he pulls the saw faster, making me laugh at the visualization of both statements.
It takes another couple of minutes before the tree is tumbling to the ground. Trey stands up to pump both fists in the air in triumph. His arms still are extended high above his head as he starts humming the chorus to the Rocky song, hopping back and forth on both feet. I cannot resist laughing at the sight of his cockiness.
“Alright, Rocky, now you get to carry the thing back to the truck,” Matt reminds him, quickly bringing Trey’s dance to a stop so he can flip Matt off with a puffy gloved finger.
Still chuckling, I begin walking to get a head start on both of them. It’s takes me longer because of my boot. The walk here was already difficult enough, I’m not looking forward to wobbling my way back. I barely make it a couple of feet before I’m lifted up into the air and held within Matt’s arms. I securely wrap my arms around his neck and look behind his shoulder to see Trey dragging the tree behind us.
“Why don’t we exchange packages, Garcia? You can show supermodel how manly you can be by taking this tree back for her.”
“Nah, I do that enough with her in bed, she already knows I’m her man,” Matt shouts over his shoulder. I chuckle at his words as Trey continues dragging the tree by its stump, grunting most of the way, but still pulling it effortlessly. The sigh
t is comical, but nevertheless, I’m grateful for the both of their efforts today.
With us soon piling back into the truck, I lean my head back onto the seat and it’s then that my ankle begins to throb, announcing I over did it today. Matt must have noticed the reaction on my face. “Is your ankle hurting you?” he worriedly asks.
Nodding my head, I take a deep breath to ward off the pain. “I’m sorry, beautiful. I shouldn’t have made you come today,” he guiltily admits.
I snap my head towards him. “I wouldn’t have missed this for the world. It was wonderful,” I say, grabbing for his chin to pull him in for a kiss. With our lips lingering, I close my eyes savoring the taste of our kiss.
“You can at least turn the heat on while you both play all lovey dovey over there. Someone’s balls still need to defrost over here,” Trey announces, making Matt and I laugh against each other’s lips.
With a shake of his head, Matt starts up the truck, turning the heat on full blast. It’s cold at first, but within minutes the truck begins to warm up. Laying my head on Matt’s shoulders, my hand still entwined with his, I think back to the events of the day. The pain in my ankle is worth the memories I’m making with Matt. I’ll take the pain tenfold just to be able to remember this day.
AM I DREAMING? If feels as if I am, but my surroundings feel so real, yet it still feels strange. I feel like two people in one body; one observing and the other experiencing it. This has to be a dream. Right?
I’m in a hallway that looks to be in a hotel. Looking to my left, I see him. The half of me that’s experiencing it gives him a forced smile, while the other half of me is panicking. My breath hitches. My heart feels as it’s stopped and just as rapidly began beating again.
My finger impatiently pushes at the elevator button, willing for the elevator door to open. “No matter how many times you push it, Abigail, it’s not going to make it move any faster,” Bill says.
“Fuck this. I’m taking the stairs,” I say, already walking around him. I hear him following me and when we enter the stairway he speaks again. “We’re not staying all night,” he informs me as his voice echoes in our surroundings.
“Why not?”
“And I don’t want you getting plastered drunk again like you did last night. You looked like shit for your photo shoot this morning. I don’t want a repeat for the show tomorrow night,” he lectures.
I stop to turn and face him. “You need to stop acting like a prude. I delivered during the shoot, didn’t I?” He stays silent knowing I’ve proven my point. “So back the fuck off, Bill,” I add.
I’m about to start resuming my descent when I’m halted to a stop by a hand digging into my arm. I’m yanked to look at Bill again, there’s fury in his eyes. “You need to remember you’re nothing without me.” His words should frighten me, but they don’t. “I don’t need you anymore, Bill,” I throw back at him. “I’m Abigail Adams and it was me who made that name for myself. I’m pretty sure it’s you who needs me now,” I state as I attempt to yank my arm from his grip. Instead my body is shoved back, causing me to lose my balance. My body drifts back into the air before the darkness takes over me.
I awaken gasping for air, my body uncontrollably shivering from the shock, and my body drenched in sweat. Looking around the room, I’m relieved when I see I’m in my room. Now rocking myself, I force myself to keep breathing. It’s all I can do to distract myself until Matt gets home.
“THAT’S AN EXCELLENT choice, sir. The recipient is going to love it,” the sales associate says.
“You sure this is what you want to do?” Trey doubtfully asks at my side.
I’m staring down at the ring in my hands, and for a second I doubt myself because of Trey’s words, but I just as quickly answer, “Yes,” with an excited smile.
I look up to the sales associate, giving him a stern nod. “Well, with the size of that thing, I’d be surprised if she says no,” Trey mocks. I can only pray Abigail will say yes, but I have to wait to find out. I know Abigail is going to love it. At least I hope she will.
“Would you like me to wrap it up for you?”
“Yes, please,” I say, handing the ring back to him.
“With pleasure, sir. I’ll be back shortly.”
“I can’t believe you actually plan on doing this,” Trey reminds me of his doubt. “I can’t believe it either, but I love her and I want to do this.”
He stays silent, but continues to skeptically look at me. “You’ll understand when you find the right girl,” I tell him.
He looks doubtful, but surprises me when he says. “I hope so, but I doubt it’d be anytime soon.”
Understanding his meaning, I simply nod. The sorrowful look in Trey’s eyes make me want to ask him what’s wrong, but I know it’s best not to pressure him. He will end up closing up on me. Instead, I focus on trying to picture Abigail’s expression when she unwraps the present on Christmas morning. The glowing smile I envision is enough to light me up inside. I hope she doesn’t find it until then. She’s been snooping around the house, anxious to see what I’ve bought her. My thoughts are broken when the salesman returns with my package. The box elegantly wrapped, with a white bow surrounding it, it’s the perfect looking gift.
Perfect for Abigail, just like her. She deserves nothing less.
“Happy holidays,” I tell him as I take the box from him, already making my way out the door with Trey.
“Anything else you need to pick up for your family?” I ask Trey before stepping out in the brisk cold air. “Nah, I’m getting everyone gift cards this year. Can’t go wrong with gift cards.”
“That’s not personal enough,” I tell him as we make our way to his Jeep.
He delivers a snort before replying, “They should be happy I’m even getting them something at all.” I cannot help but think of Abigail. Only one week until Christmas morning and she will be opening this little box. It’s our first Christmas together and I’m determined to make it memorable. One she will never forget.
I may be nervous as fuck to give it to her, but deep down in my heart it’s what I truly want. I tuck the box into my pocket to keep it safe, hoping that it’s to her satisfaction. Only one week left until I find out.
I’M IN MY favorite spot. My body draped across Matt’s shirtless chest. I could stay like this forever. Sometimes I wish I could. The sound of Matt’s heartbeat against my ear and the warmth of his body radiating into mine, sends me to an element of complete relaxation. My worries and fears cease to exist while the rhythmic thump is against my ear. Add the soothing feel of Matt’s arm snug around my body and it’s enough to send me into a meditative state.
It’s been cold out, which has kept us indoors, but I’m not complaining when it allows me to be snuggled up next to Matt. Closing my eyes, the rumble of Matt’s voice vibrates in his chest, helping me drift off into sleep. Both him and Trey are discussing the game on the TV and I’m already picturing images of a dream in my mind when Matt’s phone starts to ring. He shifts his body to reach for the phone, awakening me.
Shaking the sleep from my mind, I watch as he answers the phone. “Hello.”
With my chin on his chest, I watch his face grow anxious as he listens to the caller on the other end. “Really?” his lips go up into a wide smile. “Yes, of course. I’ll be there in about thirty minutes,” he replies into the phone before adding, “Thanks, man!” with excitement radiating from him.
He hangs up the phone as I continue to lay on him, patiently waiting for him to share his good news with me. My patience isn’t immediately rewarded, though.
“Hey, man, will you give me a ride?” Matt asks Trey before his lips find mine to give me a quick kiss. The smile is still radiating from his lips when he pulls back and I’m left staring back at him.
My expression doesn’t faze him as he sits up, taking my body with him, gently shoving me off of him to leave me on the couch.
“Where are you going?” I curiously ask.
“I’m going
to pick up Eleanor from the shop,” he replies.
The word, shop, is a reminder of what I’ve done and the reason why she’s there. No wonder why he didn’t want to tell me who called. “I’ll see you when you get back,” I state, but the words unwillingly come out, sounding wistful instead of the marked blissfulness I was trying for.
“Uh, oh.” I hear Trey playfully tease from behind us, already waiting for Matt. Normally his teasing would cause me to pierce him with a glare, but I don’t bother.
He kneels in front of me. “What’s wrong?” Matt asks with a chuckle.
“I get it, you don’t want me near her anymore because of what I did,” I state, feeling pitiful with myself.
Staring right at me, he says, “You’re right, I don’t want you near my car anymore,” his expression confirming the reason why I should feel guilty. “At least not with any weapons that will hurt her again,” he teases.
“I feel like the worst person in the world because of what I did,” I say around the lump still lodged in my throat. “You keep telling me you don’t care, but somehow I don’t believe you. She was really important to you,” I blabber out. “Oh God, I’m pathetic, I’m feeling guilty over a stupid car,” I say, sinking my face into my hands. I don’t know what’s worse? Hearing Matt chuckle over my confession or the fact that I’ve finally accepted how much he cares for his stupid car.
He pulls my hands from my face so I can look at him. “Your right. She’s just a car, who I love dearly,” he admits. “As much as she means to me, you own my heart. I can always physically fix her, but it doesn’t guarantee I can fix us, which is more important to me.”
His words temporarily push the shame of my actions from my mind.
“I shouldn’t have kept you from going to San Francisco. I shouldn’t have kept anything from you. We’ve both made mistakes with each other, beautiful, and I’m pretty sure we’re going to continue making them. No relationship is perfect,” he claims. “Just promise me that no matter what happens, we can always trust each other,” he pleads.
Unspoken Promises Page 17
