Small communities like this one, however, were different. The diversity was much smaller and many people were of similar religions and beliefs. Things like this could be a scandal.
A few hours had passed and there was a knock at the door.
By this time I was beginning to feel better so I decided not to ignore the door and went to answer it. I opened the door to see Parker the Younger standing on the other end.
“Mia, are you feeling any better?” He asked me.
“I’m starting to. That moonshine certainly went to my head.”
“Mine too. I haven’t drunk anything like that since I can’t remember.” He paused and began to fidget before continuing, “I wanted to do more than ask if you were feeling better.”
I nodded a little. I was curious about what Parker the Younger would say. Things had moved so slowly and then suddenly so quickly. It was like a roller coaster of emotions and feelings. To be more exact I felt like I had run into a brick wall. Things had been cool and slow and then I had suddenly been flung forward.
Parker the Younger fidgeted again, “I want to make things official between us.”
“As in boyfriend and girlfriend?” I asked.
“Well, that too.”
The wheels inside my mind began to turn as I tried to decipher his words until it dawned on me. He was practically proposing marriage!
I began to sputter as my mind fought furiously as to what I could possibly say. “These things take time!” I managed to say.
Parker the Younger nodded, “I understand. I’ll give you as much time as you need to think. When you come to your decision then I will propose properly or leave you alone all together.”
With that he turned and walked down the walkway and leaving me standing in the door. I could tell he was disappointed by my lack of response be it positive or negative. Giving him an “I don’t know” answer wasn’t the best thing that I could have done.
I closed the door and almost felt numb. Did Parker the Younger just practically propose to me? Once again I had been flung into that brick wall without any warning.
I couldn’t help but wonder what was I going to do now?
If I left Montana I would be running from my issues and possible problems. I couldn’t pack up and leave every time someone liked me.
I also didn’t want to get hurt again. Not after what Tyrese did to me. In a logical sense I knew that Parker the Younger was not Tyrese. The only thing they practically had in common was they shared the same gender!
So where did this put me?
For as much as I knew about Parker the Younger there was still more that I didn’t know. I wanted to believe whole heartedly that he would not cheat on me or do something as equally bad. I didn’t want to be hurt like that again.
For as strong as I was and wanted to believe I was I did not want to run the risk of being hurt again. I had survived that betrayal once and did not know if I could survive it again. Of course I would physically survive it but that didn’t mean anything for my emotions. My trust had been broken with men thanks to Tyrese’s actions. I had begun to build it up again when this happened so where did that put me?
I went to my couch and sat down on it. This decision was far more difficult than I thought it would be.
Light streamed in through the window but it didn’t bring me much comfort. Normally I enjoyed sitting in the warm and gentle sun but today I felt too heavy on a spiritual level to really enjoy it. Rain would have been better for my mood. I would’ve preferred rain as it would sometimes feel cleansing to me.
I sighed rather loudly knowing I couldn’t leave Parker the Younger hanging for an answer as that wouldn’t be fair to him. It wouldn’t be fair to me to keep torturing myself as I struggled to come to a decision. Decisions of the heart were never easy ones to make.
It would take me more than a day to come up with my decision.
The Caring Cowboy’s Love
Part 2
Chapter 1 –
Going back to my medical practice was both the easiest and hardest thing I had done, which really doesn’t make sense once you think of it. It was between perceived matters of the heart and logic. This time logic won out. Or at least what I thought was logic had won out.
People here needed a doctor and therefore needed me yet I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay and keep running into the same people and their questions. I had to separate what I wanted from what they wanted and what I needed. So what exactly did I need? I knew at the very least I needed time to think things out and to figure out where I was going in this whole grand scheme of things called “life.”
I had considered leaving Montana or at least that one area of Montana. If I had left that would leave the question of just where would I be going? The world was a large place and I was only one person. There were plenty of places that could require a doctor and were safe to live in.
Moving was also expensive and time consuming, even with the amount of money that I was making it would still be a challenge. There was some stuff that I could just mail to myself to make it easy. The bigger things, however, would require a moving truck. It was times like this that I considered adopting the minimalist lifestyle.
Even in this state that I was in I was battling myself. Was I running from Parker the Younger or myself? Could I be projecting or even imprinting Tyrese’s actions onto him?
Not every man was like Tyrese so why was I treating every man who showed any interest in me like him? The only way to avoid any man looking at or even liking me was to move to an island where it was populated by nothing but women. Either that or I’d have to find a way to lease a cave. I had to chuckle privately at the thought that leasing a cave could have possibilities.
At the same time this greatly conflicted with who I felt I was. I always considered myself to be a strong independent woman and yet something like this happens and I don’t know what to do. It made me feel like I was a deer in the headlights. The feeling both frustrated and angered me.
I knew better than to suddenly pack up and leave. It would be like leaping and not looking for a net. It wasn’t the money issue that worried me but rather everything else. What if there was another Parker the Younger or Tyrese out there? I didn’t want to get betrayed or wrapped up in some sort of romance again too soon.
The next day my thoughts went back to leaving Montana and heading back home. I didn’t entirely have the intentions of buying back my old practice as that was something that was in the past. I didn’t want to go back to it and answer any and all awkward questions that would be sure to follow. I also didn’t want to buy back the office that I had sold.
Starting up a new practice from the ground up would be difficult. Perhaps I could do as I did last time where I started out by taking over a practice when the other doctor retired. I could even join forces with a doctor who was already practicing. I knew I had good standing back home so it wouldn’t be that hard.
When I was packing to go back home and start all over yet again, I began to feel upset and even angry with myself. I felt as if I was somehow failing myself and the others that I knew. What kind of a person would I be if I was running from my problems? Wouldn’t it have just been easier to tell Parker the Younger that I was not interested and our relationship would go nowhere? Why was I running from him and myself?
I wanted to both comfort myself and hate myself for my reasoning and actions. Whether I wanted to admit to it or not some part of me was running from my problems rather than face them.
It made me feel guilty because people who do have severe problems and flee are hailed as strong and courageous. They are often given the very help that they need. I wasn’t running from any dangerous or potentially abusive situation. I was running because I was afraid to get into another relationship because of what one person had done to me.
This vicious circle of thinking continued and continued more. The more I tried to ignore it or force it from my brain the harder it came to me. The brain really was a jerk a
nd a pest that way.
I hadn’t made a big scene about my choice of moving. I knew that would be the worst thing that I could possibly do as I would be bombarded with pleas to stay and to continue my practice. Even Parker the Younger may contribute to the requests of my staying. I didn’t know if I would be strong enough to withstand all those requests and pleas so I decided to leave quietly to avoid a scene.
The movers packed up my belongings and promised they would have all of them back around the time that I arrived at the new apartment that I decided to rent. Out of necessity or something beyond my conscious reasoning I had decided to start over small. I could have easily bought or even rented a house but somehow an apartment seemed more convenient.
I had decided to fly out to my home state. I wasn’t much for long good-byes or people trying to encourage me to stay so I left rather quickly and quietly.
I hoped another doctor would soon be taking my place or there was at least a good doctor nearby to help everyone.
It may not have been right for them but what was right for me?
I wasn’t entirely sure what the correct answer was or would be.
Either way I would go back to being a doctor and be married to my work. My work was easier to understand than people were.
Instead of a private practice at a doctor’s office I had to start small again and work my way up. This time I began to work at a clinic with a few others. A few of the doctors and nurses were just out of med school and would have me over look their work for mistakes.
I couldn’t say that this fact bothered me most of the time. There was the occasional time where I became irritated at being asked to review something. Patience wasn’t always one of my better virtues along with “come on inner peace, I don’t have all day!”
I was grateful that I didn’t come across any familiar or accusing faces. I had dreaded the idea of explaining to everyone why I had left here to go to Montana and then back again. I was also privately most grateful that I had never come across Tyrese. It would have been tempting to ignore my oath to do no harm when setting a bone or doing some sort of basic procedure.
I also didn’t like having those types of thoughts as they really weren’t me. They shouldn’t be a part of me. I was someone who was meant to heal and to do good, not to inflict harm.
Yet, I knew I was human and not above the idea of wanting vengeance. A dose of karma against Tyrese would be justice, not vengeance. I would have to make sure that I did not confuse the two when it did happen to him.
Despite my living in a big area I still did feel a draw, no matter how slight, to the slower ways of Montana. I even liked some of the music that came from there when I never thought I would. I had even searched the local radio stations for that type of music. Perhaps Montana left a bigger mark on me that I thought.
Ah, heavy traffic, how I did not miss you. That was one nice thing about Montana, not nearly as much traffic!
Despite my being back I still did occasionally feel a tug, no matter how slight, back to Montana. I wasn’t positive if I were feeling home sick to a place I lived at only for a brief period of time or if it were Parker the Younger’s memory that was drawing me back.
If anyone ever invented a magical pendant that lit up when you met your intended love they would make a fortune. Immediately my mind was filled with people both young and old seeking out to buy these magical pendants.
It reminded me of rose quartz and rhodochrosite jewelry that people would wear. I had been told by a patient somewhere along the lines that the stones were meant to encourage self-love and to draw in your soul mate. Being a doctor and a professional I had managed to fight back a masturbation joke that threatened to come forth with the phrase “self-love.” We doctors do develop a weird sense of humor as time goes on.
I had never been one to rely on New Age techniques and ideas as I was so firmly embedded in traditional medicine. While I wasn’t about ready to embrace these new age ideas I was beginning to wonder if there was any truth to them and if I should see about giving them a try to see about getting my head screwed on straight. I did feel a little guilty at the thought that doing so would probably also make me forget Montana and Parker the Younger.
I both liked and disliked the idea. I felt a jolt as I remembered that I could substitute Montana and my new living quarters to the New Age ideas. While I didn’t want to go into that territory again I still felt a draw to it as it could possibly help me.
I sighed and tapped at my steering wheel again. The traffic again began to move ever so slowly. It also gave me a change to notice a bright orange sign that read in bold black letters “road work ahead.” That would certainly explain the traffic.
I certainly didn’t envy the construction workers. Working during peak rush hours had to suck. You get people shouting at you, the risk of being run over, all sorts of nasty stuff. Sometimes it had to take guts to work on busy streets like this. I did hope that none of them would end up injured and in my office. Yet, at the same time, if there was an accident at least I was in the right area!
To take my mind off the road and the traffic I turned on the radio.
The first thing to greet me was the sound of static. Rather than turn off the radio I opted for the “tune/seek” option and let it see if any type of music I liked would appear. I wasn’t particularly picky about what type of music it was as long as it was something to distract me and to get my mind off of things.
The radio settled on a station that was playing country music. There were a few notes that I heard and my mind went back to Parker the Younger. The song that was playing was the same one that he had taught me how to cowboy slow dance to!
I wouldn’t say that I was great at that type of dancing but he didn’t care and even laughed out loud when I accidently stepped on his foot. I had been glad he was amused because I was humiliated by the incident.
I could even recall a woman I didn’t recognize then patting my arm and saying “it happens to all of us when we’re learning.”
The song, while not one of my favorites, was enough to make me get second thoughts about Parker the Younger and his Montana home. I felt I could be happy there if I had given him a chance. Did I give him a chance or even half a chance?
A horn behind me beeping loudly shook me from my thoughts. Feeling embarrassed by my behavior and thoughts I gently pushed down on the gas pedal and began to move forwards.
The last I saw of the construction site was a white man about Parker the Younger’s age with the same bright eyes smiling politely and bobbing his head at me.
At the clinic I was very quick to deliver apologies for my being tardy.
“Traffic was horrible this morning!” One of the nurses, Moa, said. She shook her head as her dark eyes rolled towards the ceiling. “I was nearly late myself!”
Perhaps a busy day at work would keep me distracted from Parker the Younger and his Montana home. I at least hoped it would.
To both my annoyance and relief it was a slow morning. It was good because it meant that fewer people were becoming sick or injured. It was also bad news because my mind kept going back to places that I didn’t want it to go.
That is until I was called in to see a patient who was not feeling well. I didn’t know of any bugs that were going around but that didn’t mean anything. As it was around the time of the changing seasons anyone could and did get sick. Weather changes were funny that way.
Not knowing what greeted me on the other side I opened the door and entered. Facing me was a distraught parent and a small girl clinging to a doll. The little girl was dressed up in cow girl attire with a large hat, white embroidered blouse, a denim skirt, and boots that were too large.
In her small arms she held a doll that was identically dressed to her. She was a pretty doll though I had no idea what line she came from as I was not up to date on what doll was what.
She was also covered in hives that I imagine probably itched like crazy. I had never broken out in hives but I knew from des
criptions they were far from comfortable or pleasant.
For a moment the sight reminded me of Parker the Younger. I was certain he would laugh and give his approval of this little girl.
“She woke up like this,” the man who identified himself as the father quickly said.
I looked over the little girl, “It looks like an allergic reaction. Has she been put on any new medicines recently?”
The father nodded, “Yes, Emily had strep throat and was given Penicillin.”
“That would do it. Penicillin allergies certainly are being diagnosed more often.”
“So what do we do?”
“Take her off the Penicillin right away,” I instructed. I would have to give this little girl a shot and I hoped she was not a screamer. “I’ll be right back.”
I hurried away to prepare that shot that the little girl would need. I had seen allergic reactions before and hers was not the most violent reaction I had seen. I had spared the “most violent” category for those who went into anaphylactic shock. I had seen a few of those before and preferred not to relive the experience.
Getting what I needed I then returned to the little girl who took one look at that needle and frowned at me.
The father soon spoke up, “Now, remember how brave Charlotte was when it came to wrangling up those horses and stopping the horse thieves.”
Still having absolutely no idea what he was referencing I put on a cheerful smile and nodded.
My patient still didn’t want her shot and groaned when she got it but the deed was done.
“All set!” I said cheerfully.
“That’s it?” The little girl asked me.
“That’s it.” Looking over at the father I explained what he should look for in signs of another possible reaction and how long it should take before she began to feel better and more like herself.
The Alpha Billionaire's Unexpected Baby: A Billionaire BWWM Pregnancy Romance Page 85
