by Nikki Ash
“Like three hours ago.” I give her another quick kiss. “If you would spend the night…”
Ava’s fingers come up to my lips. “Shh…we talked about this. Levi deserves better than waking up to a woman sleeping in his dad’s bed.” My fists clench at the way she refers to herself, like she’s just some fling. We haven’t had the label talk yet but it’s definitely going to need to happen soon. I’ve never brought women around my son. I dated Karen for over six months and she never spent the night. But with Ava, I want it all, and I’m sick of her tiptoeing out of here every night like she’s some dirty little secret.
“Wow!” We both swing our heads toward Levi’s voice. He’s in his Hop pajamas Ava bought for him and running toward the Easter basket the bunny left for him. “Dad! Ava! Look what the Easter bunny brought me.”
At the same time, we both pull out our phones to snap pictures of Levi opening his basket. As he pulls out toy after toy, candy after candy, we take picture after picture. Ava was with me when I went shopping the other day. Growing up in Honduras, she never celebrated holidays like Easter with an Easter bunny. One walk down the holiday aisle and the woman was throwing every item into the shopping cart. It’s without a doubt the biggest, most elaborate basket he has ever received. But the way her face lit up with excitement as she planned how to fit every item into the basket, I couldn’t tell her she was giving the kid Christmas for Easter.
Once Levi is done opening his basket, we sit down for breakfast. Ava brought over her homemade orange cranberry muffins she knows we love.
“Are we going to see Aunt Lilly and Uncle Sean?” Levi asks, his mouth full of muffin.
“Chew your food before you speak, bud, and yes, we’re going to have dinner over at the Cooper’s tonight.”
“Ava, you should come!” Levi suggests. “They have a big pool to go swimming in, a huge trampoline and playhouse, and there’s like a million babies and kids there. Plus, Mrs. Cooper makes good food and does Easter egg hunts.”
Ava laughs, taking a bite of her muffin. “That sounds like fun, but I have to go to my parents’ house today. My brother and his girlfriend are visiting from college.” Ava rarely talks about her life. I know she has parents who are married and a younger brother who she gets along with, but other than that, she keeps her lips sealed. Once in a while, she’ll tell me she can’t hang out because she’s visiting her parents, but she’s never invited me and Levi over.
“What time are you going over there?” I ask, nonchalantly.
“After church.” She takes a sip of her coffee.
“You go to church?”
She giggles. “Nope, I’ll go over there after they go to church. I’m the rebel in the family.” She shoots me a flirtatious wink.
“So around what…noon?” She eyes me for a moment as she tries to figure out where I’m going with this.
“Yeah…around then.”
“You’re having lunch over there?”
She lowers her mug to the table. “Yes.”
“Why don’t you meet us at the Cooper’s house afterward?” This earns me a glare.
“I’m not sure how late I’ll be and I have work to get caught up on. You guys have fun and text me once you’re home.” She stands up, gathers the empty plates and brings them to the sink.
“Hey Levi, why don’t you go watch TV?” I watch him run to the couch, plop down, and grab the controller before I follow Ava to the kitchen, refusing to let this go. She’s washing the dishes when I get in there.
“Hey.” I come up behind her and reach over to turn the water off, needing her attention. She stops washing the dishes but doesn’t turn around.
“Babe, turn around, please.” She turns around—her body caged in between my arms—but doesn’t look at me, her eyes trained on my chest. Using my forefinger, I raise her chin so her green eyes are forced to look at me. “Who hurt you?” I ask the same question I asked her before.
She shakes her head, refusing to answer me, but I ignore her silent protest. “I asked you before and you changed the subject. Why are you keeping our lives separate? I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do but I at least deserve to know why.” I keep my words soft so she knows I’m not mad.
She sighs loudly, her shoulders slumping in what looks like defeat. “I’ve been in two serious relationships. I brought them both home to meet my parents. Our lives were intertwined. I even lived with one. I don’t know what happened…maybe we got together too soon or moved in together too quickly. Maybe I didn’t give them what they needed.” She shrugs. “All I know is one hundred percent of my relationships as an adult ended with me being cheated on and with my heart broken, having to start all over again. Having to pick up the pieces. Some friends had to choose sides, other ones I gave up and walked away. Everyone knew I was cheated on. It was embarrassing and I learned my lesson.”
She moves my arm so she can have some space and walks toward the kitchen doorway. Turning around, she says, “I’m just not ready to weave my life with somebody else’s again.”
“Ava, I’m not going to cheat on you.” I close the gap between us and pull her into my arms, needing the body contact.
She gives me a sad smile. “You say that now but what happens once you get bored? I’ve seen the women you’re used to. That feisty redhead and the wealthy blonde. When things between us go south, I’ll not only lose you but I’ll lose Levi and Lilly, and I’ve grown fond of all of you.” Is this woman crazy? How does she not see how beautiful she is. And it’s not just her beauty, but her personality and her love and adoration for my son. She’s the whole package and neither of those women she mentioned holds a candle to her.
“Who says…” I begin to say but Ava cuts me off.
“Let’s just keep this fun, please, and when you’re ready to move on, you tell me and we can stop.”
“I’m not going to want anybody else,” I insist. My blood is boiling but I have to stay calm with Levi in the other room.
“Until you do,” she says flatly. “Sweet and simple with no strings. Just leave it at that, Griffin.” Ava stands on her tiptoes and gives me a chaste kiss on the corner of my mouth. “I need to go home to get ready. Text me later once you’re home if you want to hang out.” She heads out of the kitchen and I follow her, stunned at what just transpired.
“Bye, Levi,” she says sweetly. “Have fun today!” Levi waves goodbye, and then she’s out the door.
Levi and I get to the Cooper’s house around two in the afternoon. There are several vehicles lining the driveway and along the road, which means everyone is already here. I can’t get Ava’s words out of my head, and the more I replay our conversation, the more frustrated I get. I probably should have cancelled but Levi is excited for the egg hunt and to go swimming with the other kids.
I park the truck near the end of drive then we get out and walk up toward the house. Hearing everybody’s voices, we walk around back. Levi runs over to join the kids jumping on the trampoline. Sean spots me right away and waves me over.
“Happy Easter, bro!” He gives me a one-armed hug. “You’re just in time. The Easter egg hunt is starting soon. We were waiting for you to get here.”
“I’m going to grab a beer,” I say, heading inside. On my way, I say hello to Lilly’s mom and dad and thank them for the invite. Once inside, I grab a beer from the fridge, pop the top off, and take a long pull. I’m about to head back out but decide I need a minute, so instead I walk toward the living room and sit down on the couch. The house is quiet with everyone outside.
“Everything okay?” Lilly asks, coming out of nowhere.
“You hiding too?” I glance around the room.
“Maybe a little.” She shrugs.
“What’s wrong, Prim?”
She comes over and sits down next to me. “I asked you first?” she clucks.
“Fair enough.” I take another pull of my beer. “Ava doesn’t want me the same way I want her.”
“How do you know?
” She plucks the beer from my hand and takes a swig before she hands it back to me.
“She told me she thinks it’s best we keep it fun and simple.”
“And you don’t agree with that?”
“Hell no. I want to brand that woman in every way possible.” I chuckle.
“She’s not cattle, Griffin!” She slaps my chest.
“No, she’s definitely not cattle, but she’s mine and I want the world to know it. I’ve never felt this way about anybody before.”
“So tell her that. Maybe she’s giving you an out.”
“An out?” I question.
“Yeah, maybe she’s scared of how you’ll react so she gives you the opportunity to take the easy way out. Tell her how you feel. Don’t let her give you an out.”
“Hmm…maybe I’ll do that. Thanks, Prim.” Draping my arm over her shoulders, I pull her in for a side hug. “Now it’s your turn.”
Her head falls lazily to my shoulder and she lets out an exasperated sigh. “It’s hard to be around everyone and their babies. I love that my family continues to grow. Everyone is having kids and I’m so happy for them. It’s just hard. Every time they go to brag about getting pregnant or about their baby’s milestones, I see the look in their eyes. They feel bad for me and they monitor what they say.”
“That’s because they love you.”
“I know. I just…” I hear her voice get choked up and I know she’s trying and failing not to cry. “I miscarried, Griffin. We finally got pregnant and I lost the baby. I was only a few weeks along. I wouldn’t have even known had I not gone to the appointment for them to check me out.”
“I’m so sorry.” I don’t know what else to say, and I don’t think she really needs me to say anything. Instead we sit on the couch in silence while I feel her body silently shake against mine as she cries for the baby she lost.
Once I feel her shoulders stop shaking, she sits up and wipes the mascara from under her eyes. “Thank you, Griffin. I really needed that. I try to stay strong around your brother because he hates to see me upset.”
“I got you, Prim. Any time.”
“Same here, big brother. Same here.”
Twenty-Two
Ava
Griffin: It’s Tuesday. Want to do tacos?
Me: Sure! When should I come over?
Griffin: Now.
It’s been a little over a week since I opened up to Griffin and told him about being cheated on. I wasn’t sure if he would understand but he did. I thought maybe he would argue that he wanted more, but he didn’t. His only response was promising not to cheat on me. With me being on birth control, we haven’t been using protection since the first couple times we had sex, and I was okay with that until I had to admit to my gynecologist earlier today that I’m having unprotected sex, and now I’m wondering if that’s a good idea. What if he does sleep with someone else? I didn’t even think about that until my doctor gave me the be safe speech, reminding me that birth control doesn’t protect against STDs. I hope Griffin would tell me before he moves on but what if he cheats first before telling me?
It wasn’t so long ago I was having to go to my gynecologist to request a full work up after finding out I was cheated on…again. The pitiful look in my doctor’s eyes when I had to admit another man I cared about had strayed damn near sent me over the edge. If I have to do it for a third time…Nope! No freaking way! My doctor insisted on doing a full workup today after she asked if I had my partner show proof he’s clean, which I didn’t, then suggested I have him get one done. But that made me think…even if he gets one done, if he cheats, it won’t matter. I’ll still be at risk if he doesn’t use protection.
Me: I need to run a quick errand and then I’ll be over.
After running to the pharmacy and picking up a box of condoms, I swing by the Honduran bakery to grab dessert for after dinner. Levi loves the tres leches dessert from there. Three milks. When I knock, Griffin swings the door open, grinning and looking as handsome as ever. His hair is still wet from the shower and when he pulls me into a quick hug, I can smell his soap. It’s not too strong, just fresh and clean mixed with Griffin.
“Just in time! The delivery guy just left.” He closes the door behind me.
“Hey Levi!” I yell for him to come out and seconds later he’s running down the hall. “Look what I brought for dessert.” I open the brown bag and he jumps up and down. “But only if you eat all your food,” I add before bringing it to the kitchen.
“I see you’re dressed for the occasion,” Griffin jokes, nodding toward my shirt which reads, “Netflix, tacos, and naps.”
“Uh duh!” I give him mock attitude. “You can’t eat tacos on Tuesday without wearing a taco shirt.” And then I remember something.
“Wait! I’ll be right back!” I haul ass out of his apartment and over to mine, grab the bag from the counter and run back over.
“For you and for you.” I hand Levi and Griffin each a shirt.
Griffin opens his up and reads it out loud. “You had me at tacos.” He chuckles.
“Mine says: this kid loves tacos.” He giggles like it’s the funniest thing he has ever read and it goes straight to my heart. These guys mean so much to me.
Both of them remove their shirts right there in the living room and throw on their new shirts. “I think we need a picture of this,” Griffin suggests, pulling out his phone.
He places it on the table, sets the timer, and the three of us stand together as we wait to hear the click of the camera. Once we hear it, we separate and sit down at the table to eat our delicious tacos.
After dinner, dessert, and a television show of Levi’s choice, Griffin tells Levi it’s bed time. He groans but agrees, knowing the routine. Usually I leave while Griffin gets him ready for bed, but tonight Levi says, “Ava, my Spanish teacher gave us a book. Will you read it to me?” He hits me with his adorable baby-blues that will one day have women falling at his feet just like his daddy, and I find myself agreeing.
“Sure.” I follow him back to his room and he hands me the book. When I see the cover, all the blood rushes down. I doubt it was intentional, but this was not a good book for his teacher to give him.
“Eres mi mama?” I read the title. “Where’s my mom? It’s seems to be about a puppy who is looking for his mom.” I glance up and see the sadness in Griffin’s eyes.
“My mommy is in Heaven,” Levi says innocently. “I hope the puppy’s mom isn’t in heaven.”
Without even thinking, I lean down to give Levi a kiss on his forehead. “I hope not either, cosita.”
He looks up at me, and like the always curious child he is, asks, “What did you say?”
“It’s what my mom calls me. I guess it translates to ‘little thing’ in English.” I laugh when Levi’s brows dip down much like his father’s do when he’s confused. “Umm… it’s like saying sweetie, I guess.” I shrug. It’s a term of endearment one says to someone they care about but he won’t understand that.
“All right, let’s read this book and find out if the puppy finds his mom.” I open to the first page and begin reading. I read the words in Spanish first then I translate in English. Levi makes predictions with each page. He compares the puppy to Maverick and asks if Maverick has a mom. He’s so inquisitive. Once the book ends—and the puppy finds his mom—Griffin and I say goodnight to Levi. His eyes are already fluttering closed, and my bet is he’ll be asleep within minutes.
“Join me outside.” Griffin takes my hand in his and guides us through the apartment and onto his back patio. Like always, he closes the door almost all the way—leaving it cracked open in case Levi wakes up.
Griffin sits down on the lounge chair and pulls me down with him. His legs are open and I’m snuggled between his muscular thighs, my back leaning against his front. I wiggle my butt, trying to get comfortable, and laugh when Griffin groans because I didn’t realize my butt was rubbing up against his crotch.
“Sorry.” I relax my body into his. Griffin’
s arms encircle my waist, his head dipping slightly to burrow his face into my neck.
“How was work today?” he asks. Even though I work from home, Griffin always asks me how work was. I love that he treats my business equal to any other job. My ex would constantly make comments about me finding a real job or ask me to run his errands because I was home and could leave when I needed or wanted to. It drove me absolutely nuts, especially since I make a good living—one that supports me completely on my own.
“It was busy. Two covers are done and one is almost done. The author wasn’t set on a color scheme so it took a while to get it right but I think it’s turning out beautifully.”
He gives me a kiss to my temple. “How was your day?”
“Busy as well. I’m always shocked at how much King’s has changed over the last couple years. I went from being in debt, to making ends meet, to finally having some money in the bank. I’m even taking applications to hire another waitress because we’re so busy.”
“That’s amazing. I didn’t see it before the renovations, but now…the place is definitely something to be proud of, and the food is delicious.”
“Thank you. I feel like I’m finally at a point in my life where everything is coming together.” Griffin gives me another kiss to my temple.
“That’s a good feeling to have.”
“Ava, I need to talk to you.” My body freezes at the seriousness of his voice.
“Okay,” I say, dragging the letters out nervously.
“Dad, I’m really thirsty.” We jump slightly at Levi’s sleepy voice.
“Okay, buddy.” Griffin lifts me up, plants a kiss on my cheek then scoots out from behind me. “I’ll be right back.”
I nod silently.
A few minutes later, Griffin yells to me from inside, “Hey Ava, your phone keeps ringing. Want me to bring it out to you?”
Unsure of who would be calling me at nine o’clock at night and worried something could be wrong with one of my parents or brother, I yell back, “Yes, please.”
A minute later, Griffin is stepping out onto the patio. “Here.” His voice is cold, and when I look at him, I know why.
