And it totally wasn’t.
“Are you really happy, babe?” he pressed.
“I’m far more content than I’ve ever been,” she replied. “I’m my own woman. I say where I go and what I do and who I’m with. I have friends. I love this city. I have my power back and it’s all mine.”
“Content isn’t happy,” he noted.
“It’s better than anything I’ve ever had.”
“Okay, I hear that,” Noc conceded but didn’t let up. “And it sucks that’s true. But it’s a far cry from what you deserve.”
“Noc, there’s a good deal to say about being content in your life.”
“I’ve got Frannie. I fell in love with her. She fell in love with me. She’s here and it’s not good, it’s great. I’ve got a house I dig and serious money in the bank so I not only don’t have to worry about just covering emergencies, I’m set for life. And last, I’ve got a job that pays me more than I ever thought I’d make. So I’m in a position to say that contentment works, but happy in a good place, a fantastic city, with good friends, a good job and a woman I love to share my life with is a fuckuva lot better.”
“I see you won’t understand what I’m trying to say,” she remarked, beginning to look agitated.
“I think it’s the other way around,” he returned.
“Can’t you just let it go?” she requested.
“After what I saw last night, what I can say is, I want to do that for you, because you want that from me. And I totally cannot do that, also for you.”
“Noc—”
He knew she wanted him to let it go.
But he saw what he saw last night. He felt it.
So he just couldn’t.
“This guy has got it in him, Circe. He can be that guy for you. He might be the only one in two universes that can be. He’s a warrior and he’s a protector. You know where I’m at with you. I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t feel it in my gut that it’s true.”
“Noc—” she tried again.
But he kept going.
“And the most important thing about it is, you so rocked his world last night just looking at you, I know he’ll take it all from you. He’ll hear it and he’ll get it and I mean all of it. Who you are. The power you have. What happened to you. Where you’re from. He won’t care if you tell him you’re from the moon. The man I saw last night, babe, he just wants you.”
“He terrifies me,” she blurted.
That was unexpected.
Noc fell silent.
Circe looked beyond him, drew in a visible breath then looked back at him.
“He terrifies me,” she whispered.
“Why?” Noc whispered back. “He’s not Lahn. He’s not from a place they rape women to make them their wives. I can see you looking at him and seeing only that. But that isn’t who he is.”
“It’s not that. I saw Lahn with his Circe and I know even Lahn isn’t that.”
“Then what is it?”
“He’s everything.”
Again, unexpected.
And again, Noc fell silent.
“He’s meant for me,” she kept on, doing it not sounding hopeful, sounding terrified. “He’s mine.”
“I think from what I saw last night, you’re right. He is,” Noc agreed.
“I have never, not once, been happy,” she told him.
Noc felt that slice through his gut.
“Circe.”
“I have never, not once, except long ago in a time that seems so far away it’s like it was a dream, the time my parents were alive, I have never felt love.”
Christ.
She was killing him.
“Babe.”
“I know I have friends who care deeply about me. That’s not the same.”
It wasn’t.
It wasn’t the love of a man.
It wasn’t that love growing into family, be it a family of two or the family those two made.
“I want him,” she admitted.
Finally they were getting somewhere.
He moved close, saying, “Circe, all I’ve been saying means you can have him.”
She shook her head. “I finally escaped Baldur, only to be set upon by pirates, passed amongst them like a toy. I escaped them, only to be put into the Wife Hunt in Korwahk. At my end, I spirited myself away, only to put my twin in my place where she was promptly violated.”
“That worked out,” he reminded her.
“But it could have been disastrous,” she reminded him.
“It wasn’t,” he stated.
“It could have been, and the point is, Noc, I don’t have very good luck.”
“You are not wrong about that, Circe, and now you’re at a crossroads. You can live safe, which means you live half a life, or you can keep trying your luck because, serious as shit, babe, you’re long due for a windfall and I see it right within your reach. You just gotta reach for it.”
She looked hopeful before that melted to uncertain.
“What if he doesn’t want me?” she asked almost shyly.
Noc fought a grin.
“Babe, were you conscious last night?” he asked back.
Again with the hope that went uncertain.
She lifted and dropped her free hand. “I’m a witch. I’m from another world. I’ve had…things have been done to me…”
She trailed off and Noc reached out and took her hand.
“Those things were done to you. Those things don’t make you. You are what you’ve always been, Circe. A beautiful, strong, caring woman. You took all that was piled on you and never gave up. You escaped Baldur only to end up in a situation that was just as bad. You got kidnapped and landed in another bad situation and you still didn’t give up. You found a way to get out. That could have gone really bad, but it didn’t, and in the end, the woman you switched with is happy, in love, making babies and her father thinks of you as his daughter. You got all that because you had every reason to give up and you never did. Don’t give up now. You’ve got so much to give, babe, the lucky one in this scenario is not you reaching out to Dax. It’ll be Dax, if you find the courage to reach.”
“You’re very sweet,” she murmured.
“Maybe. But mostly I’m very right.”
She gave that a moment to sink in before she stated, “This remains to be seen but there is something you’re wrong about and that’s that you couldn’t be ‘that guy’ for me.”
Shit.
What?
He made himself stay close, holding her hand, hoping like fuck he hadn’t read what went on between them months ago wrong.
He saw a small smile touch her mouth before she shared, “I don’t mean I wanted that between us, and it wouldn’t matter because, you’ll remember, you didn’t want that either. What was understood then is understood now. But you speak like you’re not the kind of man strong enough to be ‘that guy’ who can be all he needs to be for a woman who needs him to be just that. But if you weren’t, then Franka would be in a very different place right now and not looking like the gold of the sun shines through her, when before she looked weighed down by the blanket of eternal night.”
It was that that made Noc release her and step back.
At his movements, her brows drew together.
“You are that man, Noc, you must know this,” she said gently.
He shook his head. “I was just the guy who happened to be there when shit went down and looking back, I was half in love with her already so I’m lucky this is where we ended up.”
When he was done speaking, she stared at him, murmuring, “Lucky?”
He ignored that and carried on. “But we’re not talking about me.”
Before he could say more, Circe butted in.
“We weren’t. We are now.”
“I’m here right now for you,” he asserted.
“Then good. Thank you. So I’ll make a deal with you, Noc. I’ll think about not playing it safe. I’ll think about trying my luck. But only if you’ll
think about the absolute rubbish you just handed me.”
Noc felt his head jerk and his jaw tighten.
“You’re right, I know her story,” she said softly. “And I need to speak to her. I was…” she gave a short shake of her head, “not myself last night. I was cruel even knowing she didn’t deserve it. I will…I’ll apologize. But Noc, it’s impossible for me to understand how you can come here championing this man for me not knowing you’re that man for Franka.”
He was getting impatient.
“Again, Circe, we’re not talking about me.”
“You said this Dax would be the one who would be lucky if I took a chance. I wonder, if I asked Franka, who she felt was the lucky one between her and you.”
“She can think that it’s her but I know the truth.”
She studied him closely, doing this speaking.
“I had everything, a loving family, a magical gift, and it was all swept from me by a cruel and twisted man. Your Franka, I can’t even think on it, Noc, knowing from her first breath, she had nothing. Until she had you.”
His words were tight when he stated, “Not gonna repeat myself, Circe.”
“I can’t believe you don’t see what’s inside you,” she whispered, her gaze searching.
“I’m just a guy.”
“You are not just a guy,” she stated firmly.
He was done in a way they both were going to be done.
“All right, I’m the guy who made it all good for Franka,” he lied. “There it is. Now I said that, our deal. I’m going from here to my woman, and if you give me the go ahead, when I get there, we’ll call Dax and ask him to dinner tomorrow night. At my place. Me, him, Franka and you.”
“You only said what you said about yourself so I’d make that deal,” she accused.
She was correct.
Noc didn’t confirm that.
He didn’t say anything.
Suddenly, what he’d just suggested hit her and her concern for him fled as anxiety again took hold.
“Your decision, your life and I stand by whatever you decide,” he said. “I’ll make Franka do it, and if I can pull it off, I’ll make Valentine do it. But I don’t think I have to go on record to say, if you don’t come to dinner tomorrow night, don’t try your luck one last time and do it for a shot at happiness with this guy, I think you’re making a big mistake.”
“I’ll come to dinner,” she replied in such a soft voice he almost didn’t hear her.
So relieved, he couldn’t stop himself, he reached out and pulled her into his arms to give her a tight hug.
“That’s the right decision,” he said into the top of her hair.
“I hope it is,” she said into his chest.
He lifted his head and she leaned back but he didn’t let her go.
“It is,” he assured.
She pressed her lips together, still visibly anxious.
“Come early,” he urged. “Sit with Franka. Talk to her. Get to know her. Drink some wine. You’ll be in a safe place with your people around you looking after you. You feel uncomfortable or anything, we’ll take care of you. I promise you that, Circe. Swear.”
“I believe you.”
He gave her a squeeze and then slowly let her go, murmuring, “Good. Now I gotta get to my truck to call Frannie and let her know it’s all good. She’s pretending she’s got it all together, but she’s freaked as shit things got messed up last night and she’s worried about you so I gotta get that off her mind before I get the rest of this show on the road.”
She looked like she wanted to say something but thought better of it before she smiled at him and started toward the door.
He followed her.
She opened it and he moved out, turning to say, “I’m seriously glad you opened the door, babe.”
“I’ll tell you later whether or not I am.”
She’d pulled up her courage and was showing him a brave face.
He was glad for it because he didn’t hope he was right about this world’s Dax Lahn.
What he saw last night he knew he was right and he wanted that for her.
“Early,” he said. “I’ve texted you my address, show at four. I’ll be cooking. Franka will be watching me do it and talking to you. We’ll ask him to be there at six.”
She tried to hide her nervous swallow and nodded.
Noc lifted a hand, wrapped his fingers briefly around the side of her neck and gave her a smile.
“See you tomorrow,” he said as his goodbye.
“Tomorrow, Noc.”
He turned to leave and took two steps but stopped when she called his name.
“You can think what you want but I know. Franka and I have different stories, but we were both left in the same darkness,” she said quietly. “So I know. If this man is that man for me, I will be the lucky one. And you being the man you are, the only man for Franka, so is she.”
Before he could say a word, she shut the door.
He stared at it for a beat and then he didn’t give it another second.
Or another thought.
He walked to his Suburban, got in and made a phone call.
* * * * *
Franka was pacing.
Noc was leaning a hip against his island, phone to his ear, listening to it ringing, focus on Frannie.
“Baby, calm down,” he urged.
She stopped instantly, caught his eyes and hers narrowed.
“Calm? This man might have spent the last sixteen hours convincing himself we’re insane and he wants nothing to do with us, including Circe. Valentine has made certain he doesn’t go after her and he hasn’t, but she doesn’t have the power to read his thoughts.”
She’d counted the hours.
That was cute.
He didn’t have a chance to further reassure her.
The phone stopped ringing and a man answered with, “Lahn.”
“Lahn, this is Noc Hawthorne.”
“Did she get home okay?”
Noc dropped his head and grinned at his feet.
He hadn’t spent the last sixteen hours convincing himself they were insane.
Noc saw Franka’s hand land on his chest and he lifted his eyes to her, still grinning.
Her shoulders fell in relief.
“Hawthorne,” Dax bit out. “You there?”
“Yes, I’m here and she got home okay, pissed as hell we tried to set her up but okay. Went ’round and talked to her this morning. She’s not been in a place for a while to take a shot at certain things but I pointed out she’s gotta find that place. In other words, we’d like to know if you’d come to dinner tomorrow, my place, Frannie, me and Circe. Six.”
“Text me your address, I’ll be there.”
Noc nearly burst out laughing.
His efforts at not doing that made his next words sound choked.
“Will do.”
Frannie pressed in at his chest and gave him wide what-the-hell-is-going-on eyes.
He rounded her with an arm.
“Tomorrow,” Dax grunted.
“Yeah, man. See you then,” Noc replied.
Dax hung up.
Noc dropped his phone from his ear and started chuckling.
“What?” Franka asked.
“He’s coming to dinner.”
She lifted her other hand to his chest and pressed both in, beaming and declaring, “By the gods, this pleases me.”
Noc was pleased too but he was more pleased seeing how much she was.
She remained pleased for about two seconds before she got down to business.
“No Fleuridian wine tomorrow, Noc,” she bossed. “I don’t want her thinking of home. Not the good of Fleuridian wine and definitely not the bad she was treated to there. I want her head firmly in this world.”
“Aye, aye captain,” he said on a grin.
Her eyes narrowed again.
“This is no jest. We have to plan this carefully. He’s taken with her but we’re her people. He mustn’t t
hink less of her because he thinks less of us. To that end, what are you making for dinner?”
“I thought—” he started.
“Fillet steak en croute with pâté and sautéed mushrooms,” she demanded.
Noc beat back his chuckles.
“Babe, I’m not making beef Wellington.”
“That’s what that’s called here?” she asked.
“Uh, yeah, and it’s tricky and a pain in the ass. I’ll make steak, though, and fire up the grill.”
“That’s acceptable,” she agreed. “We’ll serve it with patates royales.”
“What the fuck is that?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she answered. “It’s potatoes, and I would say cream, salt, pepper, other things. They’re mashed to creamy goodness then piped into fluffy parcels and baked—”
“Frannie, I’m not pipin’ shit into fluffy anything and not just because I have no clue how to pipe.”
“They’re delicious and elegant,” she returned impatiently.
It was time to nip this in the bud.
“Right, gorgeous. You got a choice of loaded baked or mashed or we can go out tomorrow and buy a deep fat fryer so I can fry some frozen French fries. I’ll grill some asparagus. And this is New Orleans, there’s gonna be about seven thousand places we can go to find really fuckin’ good desserts and even better rolls. That’ll be our mission for the rest of the day. If you want, you can buy a couple four hundred dollar bottles of wine and a kickass whisky, which, my guess, is this dude’s thing. And that’s what we’re doing without me having to pipe anything or wrestle with pastry dough. You with me?”
She wasn’t with him and she shared that by declaring, “My ideas for the menu are far more impressive.”
“And if you want, instead we can spend the day finding a chef who’ll haul his ass to my house to make them since I’m not doin’ any of that.”
She glared at him.
He fought the need to kiss her.
He won the fight but did it wrapping both arms around her, pulling her closer and dipping his face to hers.
“He’s into her, babe. He’s not gonna even taste anything we put in front of him. We could serve him a box of cardboard painted like a beef Wellington and he would probably eat it. He has no clue the forces that are drawing him to Circe. He’s also a man who doesn’t care. His gut says go for it, he’s going for it. He’ll handle this. He’ll do all the work. We’re just gonna be there so she’s in a safe place in her head to let him.”
Midnight Soul (Fantasyland #5) Page 49
