Robert nodded his head as I labored to explain. He raised his hand, ceasing my stuttering. “I understand. Presumably this sort of thing happens quite often in her profession.”
I stared at Robert, aghast. “You…”
“Yes, I realized after our first conversation about her. You carefully danced around the details. It seemed obvious to me what you were attempting to hide. Of course, there was no need to dwell on such a vulgar topic, so I did not.”
“You said nothing to betray your understanding to me,” I mused aloud.
“It seemed important to you to protect the girl’s reputation, so I said nothing.” How kind, I reflected. “So, she has had her baby, I presume.”
My mind snapped back to the matter at hand. “Yes,” I said, glancing to the child.
“And she has asked you to care for it?” Robert queried.
“More or less,” I replied.
Robert glanced to me and I ceased my walking. I faced him and explained further. “Tilly died this morning, shortly after birthing the child. I arrived too late. She was already passed. But… given my ability…” I paused, pushing back the tears that threatened to spill onto my cheeks.
Robert’s expression softened, and he put his hand on my arm. I pulled myself together and pressed on. “She asked me to take the child. I could not deny her that request. Given Tilly’s death, the boy was to be left on the nearest orphanage’s doorstep. She begged me to provide him with better. I could not bring myself to refuse her. I grew up in an orphanage! I realized the life he would lead there. So, I took the child. I thought…” I paused again, glancing around the park as I searched for the strength to finish. “I thought we could find a placement for him. I realize the disturbance taking the child will cause, but it will only be temporary. I shall do the work myself to find the placement. And I shall care for any of his needs myself. I am accustomed to infants. I cared for several at St. Mary’s. I promise it shall be no trouble to you. Though I understand if you object. If you do, please say it and I shall rectify my mistake at once.” I babbled on, my voice growing frantic with upset. The child awoke in my arms during my frenzied speech and began to whimper. The whimper soon turned into a forlorn wail.
Robert took my shoulders in his hands. “Lenora, Lenora, stop, please.” I ceased my chattering and stared at him, awaiting his decision. “You have worked yourself into a quite a state. And your upset has disturbed the poor child.” I did my best to hush the baby, rocking him gently in my arms and shushing him. “Calm yourself, Lenora. I am not angry with you.”
“You are most understanding, Robert,” I answered, grateful for his kind and tolerant nature. “And I shall place him with the utmost haste.”
He smiled at me, then at the child. His gaze lingered until I spoke up again. “I promise,” I added.
His smile persisted, and I wondered what he found so amusing. “As far as I am concerned, the child has already found an excellent placement with a loving mother.”
My brow furrowed in confusion. He could not mean… “Robert!” I exclaimed before my mind finished my thought.
“Am I mistaken?” Robert questioned. “Do you prefer not to keep the child?”
I remained silent for a moment. “I had not considered the matter,” I admitted. “I acted in haste at the brothel with no plan.”
“And have you considered it now?”
The crinkle in my brow deepened, the concept still incredible to me. “I am not certain what to say. I… Are you suggesting…”
“I am suggesting that we take the child in. Tilly wished you to provide a good life for the boy. What better life than that of a Duke and Duchess’ son? Unless you object to raising the boy, I cannot fathom a better solution.”
I stood speechless. I had expected to receive, at best, a tongue-lashing about my lack of judiciousness and impulsivity. Instead, my husband welcomed the child into our home permanently. He provided a mechanism by which I could fulfill Tilly’s final wish.
Tears sprang to my eyes. “I am speechless,” I managed to breathe out. I struggled to compose myself.
“I hope these are tears of joy,” Robert prodded.
“Yes,” I replied, smiling at him. “Yes!” I wrapped one of my arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you! Tilly would be most pleased.” I bit my lower lip, staring down at the precious babe swaddled in her scarf.
“Oh!” Robert exclaimed, surprised by my reaction. “You are most welcome.” He grinned at me. “He is a handsome little chap. I shall be proud to call him my son.”
“Shall we finish our walk?” I asked after a breath.
“Yes. Unless you deem it to too chilly for the child. Or you are too weary to carry him.”
“Too weary?!” I exclaimed. “I feel as though I am walking on air. You relieved a great burden from me, Robert!”
We continued down the path. “Is there a need to make arrangements for a burial?” Robert inquired.
“No. Given our departure tomorrow morning, I left a sum with one of the girls at the brothel and instructed her to provide a proper burial.”
“Hmm,” Robert murmured. “We could delay our departure and see to the services ourselves. If you prefer to attend for your friend.”
I considered it. The paltry services the few shillings I’d contributed could afford would be a shabby send off, indeed. Plus, I wished to attend. I wished for Tilly’s child to attend. “I should like to attend, yes. But not if it is too much trouble to modify our travel arrangements.”
“Not at all!” Robert responded. “I shall see to it at once.”
I nodded. “I shall visit the brothel to make arrangements for her body to be…”
“No, you shall not,” Robert said, interrupting me. “I shall handle the matter. You shall attend to the important duty of seeing to our son’s wellbeing.”
Robert made a solid point. Someone must attend to the child. Though I could take him with me. “I…” I began.
“I do not wish to see you go into that dangerous part of town again, anyway. The matter is closed. Give me the address and I shall make all the arrangements.”
I agreed, providing him with the information. We looped around, returning toward the hotel. Our conversation turned to discussing plans for our family’s new addition. Mr. Langford would be tasked with drawing up the adoption papers, an assignment I was certain would shock him when he learned of it this afternoon. He would also assist in hiring the necessary caregivers for the child.
We reached the hotel, and I took the baby straight to our suite. Robert arranged for milk to be sent to feed the child, now fussing and likely hungry. I sat rocking the baby in my arms awaiting the arrival of his meal and Robert’s return.
The door swung open, and Robert and Henry Langford entered. Robert glanced to me, holding the whimpering babe then around the room. “No milk as yet?”
“No,” I confirmed.
“Where the devil have they gone for it? To the fields to milk the damn cow themselves?”
“I am certain it will arrive at any moment.”
“I shall find out. The poor child is wailing with hunger!” Robert stepped into the hallway, only to return in seconds. “He is on his way now.”
The man arrived with milk and a spoon as requested though Robert still groused at him about being late. I set straight to feeding the child as Henry admired him over my shoulder.
“Congratulations, Duke,” he murmured, gazing at the child. “He is a handsome child.”
“Quite,” Robert agreed, his chest puffed. “He shall grow into a fine, strong man. He grasped my finger earlier whilst we walked in the park. His strength is impressive.”
“And little mother seems to be like a duck to water with his care,” Henry said, noting my ease with feeding the child.
“I have nursed many a babe at St. Mary’s. They can prove finicky at the start, but with some perseverance, the task can be managed.”
“We must arrange for the doctor to see him a
t once when we return home. And, of course, there is his christening to be seen to,” Robert mentioned. “Henry has agreed to handle all the necessary paperwork. Oh, we shall need to name him! Have you any ideas, Lenora?” He checked his pocket watch. “If you have, give it to Henry for the paperwork. I should be off to make arrangements for Tilly’s burial. Unless I am needed?”
I smiled at Robert. “No, dear, you may go. I shall finish feeding him and settle him for another nap.”
Robert kissed my forehead and rubbed the baby’s cheek before departing.
Henry poured himself a drink from the sitting area’s bar. “Quite a surprising day,” he noted as he sat across from me near the fireplace. “How tragic to have lost your friend, but how extraordinary to have gained a son.”
“Indeed,” I agreed. “Poor Tilly. I never suspected when I saw her only two months ago it would be our last meeting.”
“She would be pleased you are caring for her child, I am sure,” Henry said.
“Yes,” I confirmed. “And I am pleased to do it. Though surprised. Robert suggested it. I had thought to place him for adoption. Robert’s kindness flabbergasts me at times.”
“You expect him to be disagreeable?” Henry inquired.
“No. Though I do not often expect him to be as agreeable as he always proves. It is quite something for a man to agree to raise another’s child.”
“Couples adopt often.”
“Yes, couples who desire a child, who have planned for a child.”
“Robert has always desired a family. You have provided him with one, whether or not you intended to.”
“I hope it brings him happiness.”
“It will,” Henry assured me. “Have you given the child’s name any thought? No rush, though I would like to begin the paperwork posthaste.”
I gazed down at the child in my arms. “Yes,” I said with a smile. “Yes, I have a name.”
Chapter 16
I stared down at the sleeping baby next to me on the bed. His soft rhythmic breathing soothed me. After his feeding, he had gone to sleep shortly after a bit of rocking. With no bassinet, I laid him on the bed for a nap. Here he had slept for over an hour. I was content to read my book as he napped.
The outer door to our suite opened and shut. I assumed it signaled Robert’s return. Not wishing to disturb the child, I remained on the bed. A light knock sounded at the door. “Come in!” I called just above a whisper.
The door opened a crack and Ella stuck her head inside. “I hope I am not disturbing you, Your Grace, but I wanted to inform you of my return.”
“Oh, Sinclair! Welcome back! Come in. How was your visit with your mother?”
Sinclair slipped in the door, closing it behind her. “It went very well, Your Grace. Thank you for asking. Mother wished me to pass along her gratitude for allowing me the day off to visit. We …” Her voice trailed off mid-sentence. An odd expression crossed her face. Her mouth gaped open as she stared wide-eyed at the bed. “Is that a…” Her voice dropped off again as she motioned toward the baby.
“A baby, yes,” I confirmed. “We have had some… developments on our end.” I motioned for her to approach the bed.
Ella neared the bed. “Meet the newest Fletcher,” I said.
“He is a beautiful child,” she answered. “But…how?”
I patted the bed, encouraging her to sit. “It is rather a long, scandalous tale, but I shall explain.”
“Oh, not if you do not wish to, Your Grace,” Ella replied.
“I do not mind. I am only forewarning you, so you are not shocked by some of the more salacious details.”
I explained to her about Tilly’s circumstances, beginning with her departure from the orphanage to her untimely end. “I could not leave the child behind,” I expounded. “I took him with the intention of finding a placement for him. It stunned me when Duke Blackmoore suggested we adopt him. Though I confess I am thrilled.”
Ella smiled at me, grasping my hand in hers. “I cannot imagine better parents for the child. I am certain your classmate would be elated by the prospect.”
I returned her smile, squeezing her hand. “Thank you.”
“May I hold him?”
“Of course!” I exclaimed.
Ella scooped him up into her arms. The baby cooed, stretching his tiny arms before settling back into sleep. “What a precious child,” she breathed. “What will you name him?”
I rubbed his cheek. “If you do not mind, I should like to discuss it with Duke Blackmoore first before I reveal the name. I have told Mr. Langford, only so that he may begin the paperwork for his adoption.”
“Of course, Your Grace.”
Ella patted the baby’s bottom gently as she held him. I gazed over her shoulder, smiling down at the tiny form. “Duke Blackmoore has gone to make arrangements for Tilly’s funeral,” I explained. “We shall have to delay our return to the castle until after she has been laid to rest.”
“I am terribly sorry for your loss, Your Grace. I hope the funeral is not too trying for you. If you would prefer, I can care for the child while you attend.”
“Thank you, Sinclair. Though if the weather holds out, I would like to take him. Perhaps you could attend as well. Then if the child becomes too fussy, you could assist with his care?”
“I should be most happy to, Your Grace,” Ella agreed as she smiled down at the child. “He is a darling boy.”
“I am quite smitten with him myself,” I admitted with a chuckle.
“What an excellent mother you shall make, Your Grace,” Ella said.
I smiled at the compliment. It would mark the first time I would tend an infant I was not expected to give away at a moment’s notice. My previous experience at the orphanage prepared me well for the moment, though it wounded my heart on several occasions to hand a child I had cared for over to another.
As I gazed down at my child, I recalled the most recent of these incidents. Eighteen months before my departure from the orphanage, a newborn baby girl was left on our front steps. One of the teachers discovered the wailing child on her way into the building. The poor baby, stuffed in a basket without a stitch of clothing on, came with a simple note: Please take care of her, I cannot.
Newborn children require a great deal of care. The novelty of baby care wore off most girls after the first sleepless night. The baby, colicky from start, wailed most of the night. Tilly and I took turns walking the halls to soothe the child. In the wee hours of the morning, Tilly nodded off. I hadn’t the heart to awaken her. Instead, I allowed her to sleep and cared for the child myself.
The baby nodded off as light broke over the horizon. I managed an hour’s sleep before Tilly roused me to rise for the day, not wanting me to be disciplined for laziness.
After that night, the baby’s care was left primarily to me with Tilly to assist. We spent six months taking care of the child who we named Bessie, short for Elizabeth. Without the ability to afford a wet nurse or formula, we used cow’s milk and a spoon to nurse babies. On occasion we used dippy bread when milk was in short supply. But whenever I could manage it, I used animal milk, even if I had to forego my portion for the child.
One Sunday morning, Tilly and I set to feeding Bessie as we tidied the kitchen area. Tilly held the child in her arms, spoon feeding her milk as I wiped the counters. “One day we shall nurse our own children, Lenora,” Tilly gushed.
I smiled at her. Tilly was a dreamer; I, a realist. We often possessed different opinions on what the future held for girls of our kind.
“Oh, do not give me that look,” Tilly chided.
“What?”
“That knowing glance. I fully intend to have my own family one day, Lenora. Wait and see! I shall have six children and a loving husband!”
“My, my, such plans,” I joked.
Tilly grimaced at me before bursting into a giggle. “You wait and see. I shall grab the world by the tail one day!”
“I hope you do, Tilly!”
Til
ly did not respond. I finished wiping the last counter and washed the rag in the sink. I wrung it dry and turned to face her. Tilly stared into space, a silly grin on her face. Daydreaming about her future escapades had taken over her mind completely.
“Tilly!” I exclaimed, rushing over to her. “Stop daydreaming and pay attention! You’ve spilled the milk all over Bessie!”
Tilly snapped back to reality, glancing at the baby. “Oh!” she cried, spotting the stream of milk now dripping from Bessie’s chin. I wiped the child clean and Tilly handed her over to me. “Perhaps you should finish. Golly, I hope I am better at feeding my own children.”
“I am certain you will be,” I assured her, relieving her of the baby and taking her place as she stood. I spooned more milk into the child’s mouth.
Tilly stared at me from across the room. “Did you finish with the counters?”
I nodded. “Yes. Just the sink needs wiped.”
I fed Bessie three more spoonfuls of milk before I set her against my shoulder to burp her. As I set to patting Bessie’s back, I found Tilly still staring at me. “What is it?” I asked.
“You are so very good with her.”
“She is not the first baby we have cared for here,” I answered.
Tilly shook her head. “No. You are special, Lenora. You will make a wonderful mother one day.” I did not answer, instead returning to feeding Bessie. Tilly set to her work, cleaning the sink. “You should not take such a negative view. You do not know what the future may hold!”
“Oh, to have your optimism, Matilda Anderson!” I exclaimed.
Tilly giggled and grinned at me. When we finished with our chores and Bessie’s feeding, I changed then dressed her. I sat with her on the floor of our bedroom, reading to her. Tilly worked on a composition assignment, promising to relieve me soon so I may finish my work before classes tomorrow.
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