by Joanna Sims
She knew he would be going, but she hadn’t known he would leave so soon.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.” She turned into his body and put her free hand on his chest. “You’re worried about me, aren’t you?”
“I feel like I’m doin’ somethin’ wrong by leavin’ you.”
“You’re not leaving me, Clint. You’re going back to your life.” She wanted to reassure him. “I’m happy for you.”
When he didn’t answer her, she continued.
“You’re worried about doing the right thing by me...because I’m pregnant with your child.”
“I suppose that’s right.”
Taylor sat up so she could make sure she got her point across. “I don’t want you to feel that way, Clint. I’m great. I’m better than great. You don’t have to do right by me—that wasn’t part of our deal. I’m going to be a single mother and I’m prepared for it. If I could have had what other women had with the husband and the children and the picket fence, I would have taken it in a heartbeat. But those weren’t the cards I was dealt. So I’m making my own family, my own way. And honestly—I feel like I just won the jackpot. Go live your life, Clint. Because I promise you, I’m gonna be living the heck out of mine.”
* * *
At the end of the week, Clint was up at the crack of dawn to get ready to leave Bent Tree Ranch. He could pick up the circuit in Colorado, and if he could keep from getting injured too badly, he’d put some winnings in his pocket. No doubt about it, the older he got, the harder it was to bounce back from his injuries. Staying out of the emergency room was priority number one. But he couldn’t wait to get back on the bulls.
“Good morning.” Taylor found Clint kneeling down at the back of his truck hooking up the taillights for the fifth wheel.
“Mornin’. I didn’t expect you to get up this early to see me off.”
“I know you didn’t. I wanted to say one last goodbye.”
The cowboy finished his chore, stood up, and walked over to where she was standing. He fixed the collar of her coat so it was protecting her neck from the early morning chill.
“I’m glad you did.”
They put their arms around each other, not bothering to worry about any potential raised eyebrows. Clint had become a friend. He would always be the biological father of her child.
“When are you set to leave?”
“Right now.”
Her chest clenched a little. She would miss her cowboy. They walked together to the driver’s side of his truck.
“Did you say goodbye to your stepbrother?”
“No.” Clint stopped walking. “That’s not how we work.”
In the low morning light, they hugged each other tight. Then her cowboy kissed her one last time.
“You’ll take good care of yourself.” Clint tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.
She nodded. “You’ve given me the best reason in the world.”
He let her go then and opened the driver’s door.
“You know, Clint—I hated you when I first met you. I really did.”
That made him laugh.
“But now—I’m grateful that we met.”
Before he got into the truck, he took off his cowboy hat and put it on her head.
“It suits you.” He climbed into the cab of the truck and rolled down the window. “Is it all right if I call you every now and again to see how you’re doin’?”
“If that’s what you want.” Taylor stepped back when he started the engine.
She stood in the spot where his rig had been parked. She waved until the bright red taillights of his trailer disappeared from view. Perhaps he would call or perhaps he was simply being nice. It was okay with Taylor either way. Every ounce of her physical energy, every ounce of her mental energy, had to be spent bringing a healthy baby into the world.
Chapter Eleven
“So...what do you think?” Sophia Lee Brand, the wife of her cousin Luke, asked her.
They were walking through the neighborhood in Helena where Luke and Sophia had purchased a cozy Craftsman bungalow for their family of five.
“I really like it here.” Taylor told her cousin-in-law. “I think this could work for me. At least, for the short term.”
It was a perfectly clear day—cloudless periwinkle-blue skies stretched as far as the eye could see. There was a panoramic view of the mountain peaks off in the far distance. The houses in the neighborhood were new construction, built around a central park, and Taylor understood why Sophia and Luke had chosen to buy there. There were many houses still under construction, and many more lots for sale, but already there was a sense of community. The voices of the children playing in the park carried to the surrounding houses; families waved or stopped to chat as they walked to and from the park. It seemed like a lovely, wholesome, safe place to raise children.
Sophia, who was carrying her daughter Abigail, stopped and waited for her son to catch up with them on his bicycle.
“You’re doing great, Danny!” Sophia encouraged her tow-headed son.
Taylor was holding Abigail’s twin sister, Annabelle, in her arms. The little toddler had fine blond hair pulled up into pigtails, her legs were soft and chubby, and her eyes were that signature Brand-family bluest, sapphire blue. Taylor hugged her sweet-tempered second cousin. Holding this little girl in her arms made her fantasize about the day she would hold her own daughter or son. She had always wanted a little girl. Always. But watching Danny, so determined and daring on his brand-new training-wheel bike, made her think that a son would make her just as happy.
Now that she was pregnant, she’d discovered that the wish for a healthy baby overshadowed any gender preference she had ever had. At her age, she was acutely aware of her status as a high-risk pregnancy. She was also acutely aware of the fact that her unborn child was at a higher risk for being born with a genetic condition like Down syndrome. She was concerned—she was cautious—she was doing everything she could to make sure she had the healthiest pregnancy possible. But, ultimately, she was prepared to love her child no matter what.
“Mommy—watch me!” Danny pedaled by them, his legs churning furiously.
“I’m watching!” Sophia called out to her son with a smile. To Taylor she said, “Will you look at that tongue? Just like Luke—whenever he’s concentrating really hard he sticks his tongue out. I swear one day we’re going to have to take him to the hospital to get the tip of his tongue stitched. I’ve tried to get him to stop, but he does it unconsciously.”
Now that Danny was in front of them, they started walking again.
“I’d really love it if you decided to live here, too,” Sophia said. “It would be great to have you as a neighbor.”
“You said there were a couple of rentals available?”
Sophia pointed with a nod. “This house coming up here on the left and one more on the other side of the park.”
She was roughly six weeks into her pregnancy and it was very tempting to move into town. Her OB/GYN wanted to see her every two weeks. Bent Tree Ranch was an hour outside of Helena and that trek wouldn’t be fun to make when she was further along. It would be so much easier to be near her doctor and the hospital. She hadn’t decided whether or not she would stay in Montana permanently, but she had decided to stay in Montana until her baby was born. She had been spending a lot of time with Sophia, and she liked the idea of building a friendship with a woman who was already a mother three times over.
“How do you like living in Montana? It must be culture shock after living in Boston.”
Sophia shrugged and gave a little shake of her head, sending her thick, honey-blond ponytail flipping back and forth. “I’m having a hard time of it. I’m not used to being a stay-at-home mom—that’s an adjustment—I’m not used to so m
uch quiet and fresh air—that’s an adjustment. Even with neighbors, sometimes I feel like I’m living smack dab in the middle of nowhere. But Luke seems to be doing...better. He likes working with other veterans who served in Iraq and Afghanistan.”
Sophia crossed her fingers and held them up in the air. “And, fingers crossed, he seems to like his therapist at the VA—Luke was diagnosed with PTSD—I’m not sure you knew that. But, anyway, living in the city was just too much for him. He was always freaked out and guarded—it got to the point where even going to the grocery store was hard for him—so we moved back to Montana hoping that it would be easier for him to be back somewhere familiar without so much stimulation all over the place.”
Sophia sent her a self-conscious smile. “Please don’t get the impression that I’m not happy here. I’m happy to be anywhere my husband can feel better. And Danny loves his preschool. In time, I’ll adjust and I’ll love it, too. I hope.”
“Do you think that you’ll go back to work anytime soon?” Sophia was a licensed psychologist. “Maybe open a new practice?”
“I want to, for sure. I’ve already seen a couple of spots in town where I’d love to set up shop. But I’m going to hold off until I get the girls in school and then I’ll look into it. Can you stay for lunch?”
Annabelle had wiggled out of her arms and was running, on chubby legs, after her older brother. Taylor took the opportunity to snap a picture of the for-rent sign posted in the lawn of a cornflower-blue bungalow that was cattycorner from Sophia and Luke’s house.
“Sure.”
Abigail wanted to join her sister—she started wiggling and protesting until Sophia put her down.
“Are you hungry, Danny?” Sophia called out to her son, who had reached the driveway of their house.
“Chicken fingers!” Danny got off his bike and ran up the sidewalk toward the front door.
“Of course,” Sophia said to Taylor with a frustrated sigh. “That’s all he wants to eat. It drives me crazy.”
Sophia scooped up Abigail as she cut across the front lawn of their house.
“Will you bring Annabelle?” Sophia nodded to her second toddler, who was squatting in the lawn, digging in the grass with a stick. “She’d stay out here all day trying to dig to China if we’d let her.”
Taylor was happy to bring Annabelle into the house, just as she was happy to help Sophia prepare lunch for all of them. Danny, as his mother had warned her, had a major meltdown when chicken fingers weren’t on the menu. But once he realized that the tantrum wasn’t working, he settled down and ate his sandwich. After lunch Danny had computer time and the twins were put down for a nap.
“I need some coffee.” Sophia came back to the kitchen. “Want a cup?”
“Do you have decaf?”
“Decaf?” Her cousin’s wife laughed. “No. Luke thinks decaf is the work of the devil.”
Taylor smiled. Her cousin Luke, Hank and Barbara’s eldest son, had spent twenty years on active duty in the Marines and he liked his coffee high octane.
“I’ll pass then.” Taylor took a seat at the breakfast bar so she could still interact with Sophia while she was in the kitchen.
Sophia filled the coffee pot with water from the sink. “I get it. I wish I could give it up. I’ve tried before, but I get headaches. And, honestly, I’m worthless in the morning until I have my first cup of coffee. Are you trying to quit just because?”
Taylor didn’t like lying. She’d never been particularly adroit at it, so she avoided telling even white lies when she could. She liked Sophia. Sophia was smart and sweet, and had the makings of a really good friend. And, more than that, they were family. Taylor didn’t want to start their budding friendship telling lies.
“No. I have a reason,” Taylor told her new friend. “I’m pregnant.”
Sophia stopped what she was doing to look up at her.
“Did you just say you were pregnant?”
Taylor nodded.
Sophia, who had the reputation in the family for being a sweetheart, immediately came around to her side of the counter and gave her a hug.
“I had no idea! Barb never said a word!”
“She doesn’t know yet.
Sophia looked at her strangely. “Is it a secret?”
“No. Not really.” Taylor shook her head. “It’s just really new.”
“It must be.” Sophia looked down at her stomach. “You can’t be more than a month or two...”
“Six weeks—roughly.”
“And the father...? It’s not your ex-husband...”
This was the tricky part—fielding questions about the father and her relationship with the father. She knew they were going to come; it was natural for people to ask questions about paternity. And Clint, who was beholden to no one, had given his consent for her to reveal the paternity of the child or keep it private. It was totally up to her.
“I’m prying.” Sophia must have read the conflict on her face. “Forget I asked.”
What she immediately respected and liked about her cousin’s wife was Sophia’s complete lack of judgment. Luke’s wife felt a child was a blessing no matter how it came to be and she didn’t have to know all of the details in order to celebrate with her.
“Do you already have an OB/GYN? The doctor I had here when I gave birth to Danny was amazing. I think I still have one of her cards in my wallet.”
“I actually overheard you talking about your doctor to Aunt Barb and I called her.”
Sophia put her hand on her arm with a genuine smile. “Perfect. Have you already had your first appointment?”
Taylor nodded. “Next week I’m scheduled for my first ultrasound. I hope I can hear the baby’s heartbeat by then.”
“It might be a little too soon. But maybe.” Sophia poured herself a cup of coffee. “Well—now I understand why you want to move closer to town. Bent Tree is too much of a hike when you’re pregnant. Why don’t we call about the rentals and see if we can get in to see them today? We could go right after the girls get up from their nap.”
* * *
Clint rested his forearms on the wall of the shower, bent his head down and let the hot water run down his aching shoulders and lower back. He’d had some luck back on the bull-riding circuit—he’d had some good rides and he’d had some really good times catching up with his buddies—but, today, his luck had run out. When he’d drawn the name of one of the biggest, meanest bulls on the circuit, he knew he was about to have a bad day.
He’d managed to hold on for six seconds, but that old bull twisted and turned and bucked until Clint lost his grip and flew off backward. Instead of landing on the ground, which at least had some give, he’d been thrown into the fence and broken one of the wooden slats with his back. From the nape of his neck, all the way down to his hips, he was covered in bruises.
“God damn, God damn, God damn...” Clint cringed when the water hit sections of chewed-up skin. “What the hell are you doin’ to yourself, Clint?”
He’d be out for a few days, for sure, and making the drive to the next stop in Texas was going to be a bear. But this was the life. And he was glad to be back at it. The only thing that had nagged him ever since he’d left Montana was Taylor.
It didn’t matter what she’d said to him or how many contracts they had signed or bargains they had struck—he still felt like a giant jackass for leaving her back at the ranch. She had wanted him to go—hell, she basically told him to go and backed him financially so he could go—and, yet, he couldn’t get it out of his mind that it was just plain wrong. He wasn’t perfect and he’d led a rough life, but he’d like to believe that he wasn’t without honor.
Clint shut off the water and dried off as best he could. He’d been gone from the ranch for two weeks, and in that time he hadn’t called Taylor. He’d wanted to—he’d misse
d talking to her. But he also didn’t want to overstep his place. She was the kind of woman who had a mind to do things her way—and her way of having this baby was on her own without interference from him. Not that he wanted to interfere...he just wanted to hear her voice every now and again. He just wanted to see her pretty face and that pretty smile of hers.
Once he was dressed, Clint dialed Taylor’s number. He couldn’t believe that his stomach actually felt nervous at the thought of talking with her, felt nervous about the possibility that Taylor may not want to talk to him.
“Hey!” Taylor sounded happy to see his number come up on her phone. “I was just thinking about you! Where are you?”
God, it was good to hear her voice.
“Colorado. I’m heading out for Texas tomorrow.” Clint’s shoulders relaxed when he realized that his phone call was welcomed. “How are you?”
“I’m great. I looked at houses in Helena today. I’m thinking about renting for a while until I figure out my next move.”
Taylor filled Clint in on her visit with Sophia, which blended into her sharing her experience with the first visit to her OB/GYN.
“I’m sorry...” Taylor scrunched her face. “I didn’t even ask you if you wanted to know about the nitty-gritty details like that.”
“You tell me whatever you want to tell me, Taylor. I want to know about you. I want to know that you’re doin’ okay.”
After a pause when Taylor didn’t fill the silence, Clint decided to keep on talking. “I got somethin’ I need to say to you...”
“Okay...”
“I’m real glad to hear your voice.”
He paused again and this time he waited until she responded.
“I’m glad to hear your voice, too, Clint.”
“Well, that’s good then. We’re on the same track here.” He pushed his hair back out of his eyes. “Now I know that we made a deal for you to have this baby on your own. But that don’t mean we can’t...”
“...be friends?” She filled in the rest of the sentence for him.
