by Anthology
From: Eli
Subject: Email in exchange for an actual conversation.
If you read further than this first line, you’re accepting my payment of one phone call.
I hesitate. Should I? On one hand, I’m terrified of sounding like an idiot. A young idiot. What if he picks up in my voice that I’m only seventeen? On the other hand, I am dying to hear his voice. I imagine it to be deep and sexy. I jump as my phone sounds with a new text. It’s him.
Eli: Come on, Jill. You are going to have to talk to me eventually, right?
I wince, but I know he’s right: either I end this or I agree to talk to him. It’s that simple. I like the guy—a lot—and the thought of not speaking to him anymore? Not something I want to even consider.
Sighing, I continue the email, ignoring the pounding of my heart in my chest.
Wow. You’re actually reading this. And it only took six months, that’s how smooth I am. I need to make this good I guess, so I’m going to tell you my most embarrassing sexual experience with the hope that you’ll be laughing too hard to be nervous when I call you.
I cannot believe I’m sharing this with you, but here goes…
When I was a teenager, my girlfriend at the time decided to give me an early birthday present-my first blow job. I was staying at her house, and everyone else had long gone to bed so things didn’t progress past the kitchen. I was leaning against the counter and she was on her knees…you get the picture. Things were going great until I opened my eyes and realized I was staring at her father. I fucking froze. As in, I couldn’t move, even to let her know what was happening. We stood there, eyeballing each other for a good thirty seconds before he tapped her on the shoulder and told me it was time to leave. Funnily enough, I wasn’t allowed to stay over any more…
I’m sure that was much more embarrassing for her though, but still. A very Awkward moment in the life of Eli.
He’s right. I’m laughing so hard I don’t even flinch when I pick up my phone and reply to his message.
Me: 555-076-9987
My phone rings almost immediately. I take a deep breath and answer.
“That really happened?” I giggle. I’m almost ready to pass out, I’m so fucking nervous.
“Unfortunately, yes. I couldn’t look at the guy for years afterward. The worse thing was he was a friend of my Dad’s so we saw them all the time.”
“Did your dad ever find out?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. Probably,” he chuckles. “I can’t believe you actually gave me your number. I’ve been trying to get it for the last six months. I was beginning to think you might be a middle-aged dude who lives with his mother and owns forty cats.” His voice is gravelly and sexy.
My heart is pounding as I slide further down the bed, a smile on my face. “Yeah, well I’m certainly all female, no cats, and my number is the only thing you’re getting from me for a while, okay?” I grumble and he laughs.
“You say that now…but honestly, I love our chats, Jill. Talking to you just makes things easier. I feel I can learn more about you. Besides,” he adds, “your voice is fucking sexy.”
I giggle and clap my hand over my mouth. Sexy is not something I’ve been called before. Awkward, sure, but not sexy.
“Thanks. You don’t sound too bad yourself.” I cringe, because I sound like an immature schoolgirl. Part of me wants to hang up and call him again so we can start over.
So I do.
I wait a minute and then press redial on the last number in my phone.
“What happened?” he asks, confused.
“I hung up,” I say seriously. “I was sounding like a starstruck fuckwit, so I wanted a do-over.”
He begins to laugh. “A do-over? You can’t just decide to have a do-over. It doesn’t work like that.”
“Why not?” I argue.
“Because you’ve already made that first impression,” he chuckles. “Hanging up on me doesn’t erase that. Besides, is this really going that much better?”
Fuck. He’s right.
“Hey, Eli!” I say brightly. “It’s great to finally put a voice to the texts. How are you doing?” I say in my smoothest voice.
“Oh my god, Jill. You’re insane.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, well, you knew that already. So, what are you up to? It’s a Friday night and you’re on the phone to some chick you’ve never met?”
“Good point. Honestly, I’m packing. My father is sick, so I’m moving down to help him out.”
“Wow,” I mumble. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah, well, life sucks sometimes but we just have to deal.” He pauses for a moment. “So the interesting thing is, I’ll be moving to Denver. For a few months, anyway.”
My heart begins to race because I know this isn’t good. My Denver? He’s moving here? I can already feel the pressure to meet up with him, especially now that I’ve given in to the talking on the phone part.
“Jill?” he laughs. “I’ll admit, dead silence was not the response I was going for. I was hoping for a little more excitement.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, my face growing warm. “It was just a shock. Wow. You’re moving out here.”
“You sound thrilled,” he comments dryly. “Anyone would think you’re not too keen to meet me.”
I groan and bury my head in my pillow. How do I explain this to him? “It’s not that. I do want to meet you. I’m just afraid you won’t like what you see,” I say carefully.
“Jill, look at it as gaining another friend. If it’s more than that, then great. But no pressure, okay?”
Another friend? I snort. You’d need friends in the first place for that.
“Okay,” I sigh. “So, when do you move here?”
“Tomorrow.” I can almost hear his smile through the phone. “I don’t suppose you want to catch up for dinner?”
“Shouldn’t you be spending time with your ailing father?” I tease, but inside I’m dying. I can’t meet him tomorrow. There is now way I can carry on my lie in person. One look at me and he’ll see it in my eyes because ironically, I’m the worst liar ever.
“That’s what my sisters are for. I’m there to help him out at work.” He pauses. “Dad and I have…issues.”
“Oh.”
“Can I call you when I get in?”
“Sure.”
What the hell am I saying? I’m agreeing to meet the guy? This is insane. He’s going to take one look at me and know I’m not twenty. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Good.” He sounds happy. “I guess I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, Jill.”
“I guess,” I say, my voice glum.
He laughs. “God, I love your enthusiasm.”
Chapter Two
I’m officially a wreck.
There is no way in hell I’m going to be able to get through tomorrow night. I grab my phone and call Alice. She shrieks when I tell her I’m meeting Eli and then yells at me for not calling her earlier.
“Really?” she yells gleefully. “You little slut, I love you! When did this happen?”
“Before. He…called me this afternoon.”
“He called you? He called you hours ago and you’re telling me this now? I’m hurt, Jilly,” she whines. “You little bitch, you’ve been holding out on me. I’ve been telling you for weeks to talk to the guy!”
I laugh and sit down on my bed. “Thanks,” I reply. “What am I going to do? I can’t meet him.” I flop backwards onto the mattress and groan.
Alice and I met at school number eight, two years ago, and even though I’d moved on four times since then, we’d somehow remained strong friends. She is my only real friend. I convince myself I don’t need other people in my life because then it hurts less when I have to leave them, but having someone I can call in situations like this is great. Without her, I don’t know what I’d do.
She lives across the country but I see her on most holidays. With any luck, we’ll get into the same college and share a house and the awesome college
experience I so desperately want. That’s the plan, anyway.
“What are you wearing?” she asks immediately.
“I’m sitting here in my bra and thong, you perve,” I tease, letting out a laugh. I glance down at my flannelette sleep shirt. I have no idea what to wear to meet him. At the moment, this is winning.
She howls with laughter. “Oh my god, you’re a dork. I mean tomorrow. It has to be the back chiffon number. You look way older in that. With your silver heels, and that diamond necklace your dad gave you,” she adds.
That’s a good choice, actually.
I get up and walk over to my closet and pull the dress out. Holding it against me, I check my reflection in the mirror. It’s perfect, and it really does make me look older. Maybe this won’t be the total flop I’m expecting.
“Thanks, Al. This is why I love you.”
“You have to call me tomorrow night and tell me everything. And if you wimp out I swear I’ll kill you,” she warns. “I’m serious. I want second-to-second details, okay? And text me so I know he hasn’t murdered you.”
“Okay,” I giggle. “If you don’t hear from me by eleven, call the police.”
“I swear to god, Jill, don’t fucking joke about that because I will. You know how my imagination likes to wander.”
That is an understatement if I’ve ever heard one. Alice has the mind of an artist: it’s always moving and usually freaking out.
“I’ll text, I promise,” I giggle. “Love you.”
After hanging up with Alice, I’m freaking out even more.
Am I crazy to do this? You know all the warnings you hear about meeting people online? How they could be rapists, murderers, etc.? Well, that’s not what I’m worried about; I’m worried about him finding out the truth. Why the fuck didn’t I just tell him the truth from the start?
I laugh. I’m a freak. He could have his way with me and bury me in a shallow grave and I’m concerned about him finding out the truth?
I’m contemplating sending a text to cancel, to the point where I actually pull out my phone and type a short apology that I can’t make it. Just as I’m about to push send, I press cancel instead.
Fuck it. I’m going to do it. I’m going to meet Eli.
He’s only going to be a friend anyway…right?
Chapter Three
The day arrives to meet Eli, and from the minute I open my eyes to the sun shining through the window, I want to bury my head under the pillows and stay in bed.
I’m so freaking anxious. Couple that with being tired as hell because I hardly got a wink of sleep last night and I’m a hot mess. The worst part is, when I’m super tired I have this thing where I blurt out the most inappropriate things. This whole event is going to be a big embarrassment on my part, I can feel it.
At the very least, Alice will get a laugh out of it.
Mom knocks on the door and I stifle a yawn and sit up in bed. She walks over and sits next to me, her fingers brushing my hair back from my face.
“Are you planning on getting up today?” she teases.
“If you’ll let me get away with saying no, then I’ll go with that.”
She laughs and rips the covers off me. I reluctantly sit up and lean my head on her shoulder. I’m so tired.
“How’s everything going, darling? School going okay?”
“Yeah same as every other school I’ve been to,” I say, a snide edge to my voice. Then I feel bad. It’s hardly Mom’s fault we have to move every two seconds. It’s nobody’s fault. “I’m making friends and I’m learning, so that’s the main thing,” I fib.
If you count Eli and the history teacher I’ve secretly christened as my grandfather as friends.
She doesn’t need to know about Jamie. The little prick will get what’s coming to him one day, and I certainly don’t need my parents pulling him into line.
Because that would help the situation about as much as swimming in a pool full of acid would.
“How about we have a mom-and-daughter day?” She bumps my shoulder and I smile. We used to have days together all the time. “Go downtown and have a look at some shops, get Chinese for lunch and then a mani or pedi?”
“That’s a great idea,” I smile. I feel bad that the main reason I’m going with the idea is to keep my mind off my date tonight. I don’t see my mom often these days and I do miss her.
Mom and I have a lovely afternoon together. I tell her about Mr. A and the history assignment I’m working on. I don’t mention Eli. We talk a lot about her job and Dad. She loves being a nurse. I have to admire people who work long hours dedicating their time to caring for others. To do all of that, look after me, and cope with Dad being away so often, she really is my hero.
I lean back in my chair as my feet are being massaged, and I sigh. I think I needed this: the time with Mom and the time to relax. School this year is much harder than I was expecting, and I need to do well to get into the college course I want to do, especially on a scholarship.
For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to be a historian. But the course is competitive, and then even doing well doesn’t guarantee you a job when you’re done.
“Ohhhhhh this is soooooooo good,” Mom groans beside me as the masseuse works on her toes.
I stifle a small laugh. Seems my mother is long overdue for a massage. I wonder when Dad is due back? Ewww. I curse my mind for going there. I don’t even want to think about that!
Maybe I’m trying to sabotage myself from throwing myself at Eli tonight? Because that’s a real possibility.
We arrive home shortly before five. I run up the stairs to start getting ready, even though at this stage all I want to do is crawl into bed. I exfoliate my skin, curl my long, dark hair, put on a light layer of makeup, and finish with a spray of my favorite perfume.
I check my reflection in the mirror. I’m no model, but with the dress and the heels on, I look older and hot. Very hot. I almost don’t look like me, which is exactly what I was hoping for. He doesn’t want to meet plain, high school Jill. He’s expecting sexy, older, experienced Jill, and that is who I’m going to give him.
I want to keep my age a secret for as long as possible. I love talking to Eli, and if this goes nowhere I’d still like to keep him as a friend.
Because, you know, I have so many.
I walk into the kitchen to say goodbye to Mom.
“Can I borrow your car?” I ask sweetly, wrapping my arms around her neck. Her eyebrows shoot up as she takes in my appearance.
“Where are you going all dressed up like that?” she asks suspiciously.
“I’m meeting a few friends from school.” Ha! “We’re going out for dinner in town, then maybe a movie or something. I won’t be home too late.”
“Have fun, then. If you need me, call me.” The look she gives me tells me she doesn’t believe me, but she doesn’t fight it.
“And you’ll what, walk down to get me?” I snigger, trying to lighten the mood. I hate lying to my mom, but worrying about me is the last thing she needs.
“I’ll ride your dad’s bike if I need to.”
I snort. Calling her later would almost be worth it to see her trying to wrangle Dad’s Harley.
“Home by twelve, my dear.”
***
I take the twenty-minute drive to the restaurant, purposely going the long way through all the traffic to buy myself some time. My hands are sweating and I keep checking myself in the mirror. I’m nervous as fuck—so nervous that I feel like I’m going to be sick.
Parking right outside the venue, I walk in and notice Eli immediately.
Unlike me, he actually has many pictures on his profile. He’s got his side turned to me but I can already see how gorgeously sexy he is. If it’s even possible, his photos do not do him justice. God, this guy is way out of my league. I feel like a little girl playing dress-up.
His shirt isn’t tight, but it’s fitted enough to see the definition of muscle and the strong lines of his body. I want to run my nai
ls down his naked back whilst screaming his name. I inwardly cringe at my thoughts.
Could I sound any more high school?
For the first time I notice that he’s sitting at the bar and talking to a petite blonde with massive fake tits. Makeup is plastered all over her face, and her dress barely covers—well, anything. In fact, less would be on display if she were wearing nothing.
Fucking awesome.
He’s smiling and engaging with her. Maybe she’s his type. How the fuck am I supposed to compete with Barbie here? I can feel the jealousy rise up in me and I need to get a lid on it. I have no right to be jealous. I have no claim on this guy, and all they’re doing is talking.
Besides, Barbie is probably more his age than I am.
Eli turns his head and notices me standing there staring at him. I groan, feeling like an idiot. Way to start the date, Jill. I just want to turn around and leave, and I almost do, considering he has no idea what I look like, apart from a vague description.
But the next thing I know, he’s right in front of me. My knees go weak as I get a whiff of his aftershave. Up close he’s even hotter. I have visions of him taking me right here on the floor, with Barbie watching.
Focus, Jill!
“Jill?” he asks with a hopeful look on his face. At least I hope it’s hopeful. Maybe he’s hoping I’m not me. Part of me wants to laugh and say ‘what? No!’ but I’ve come this far. Besides, I know I’d never hear the end of it from Alice if I did that.
“The one and only,” I say and hold my hand out for him to shake.
He bypasses the hand and pulls me in for a hug. I get lost in his strong spicy scent and the feel of his broad shoulders enveloping me. Strong…sexy…God, those lips…I want…I flush.
“Thanks for rescuing me from Legally Blonde over there. You have no idea how many times I’ve tried to escape the conversation. You’re much more my kind of girl.” He steps back, his gaze running over my body. “You’re stunning,” he murmurs.
I blush and look anywhere except at Eli. I make the mistake of looking at the bar, where Barbie is giving me the stink eye. The sides his of mouth turn up into a sexy grin and I’m sure I see steam coming out of her ears.
