by Liv Morris
Once we were at the reunion, I’d spotted Colin and Joe made me leave. I think it was the beginning of the end for me, but it took five years too many for me to come to my senses.
There was so much unfinished business between Colin and I. He’d shattered my heart when I’d realized he’d been unfaithful, but I never listened to him after I found out and regretted how I’d completely shunned him. He called, wrote, and begged relentlessly to see me after I’d left him, but I’d been an inconsolable mess. When I looked back on those days, it was clear Joe had taken advantage of my weakened state.
Joe and I met in English 101 the first day of class. He’d said he’d left his pen back at the dorm, then later confessed he hadn’t needed to really borrow anything, he’d just wanted to meet me. I should’ve seen what a manipulator he was, but he’d used his charm to cover it up.
After that first encounter, he was everywhere I turned in the guise of wanting to be my friend, but he was waiting for Colin and me to breakup and seized the opportunity to wedge himself into my life when I’d arrived back at Baylor crying and inconsolable after fleeing from Colin. He’d pounced on my vulnerability, and I’d had no clue. I’d thought he was the greatest guy in the world. He’d listened to every detail between sobs, helped me forget all the pain, and appeared to be someone who would never do the kind of things Colin had.
How silly I had been. The true reason behind Joe’s compassion hadn’t shown itself until after we were married. I’d been too caught up in the persona he’d put on for me—my knight in shining armor.
He’d known my weaknesses and played me well. He’d wanted someone to control and reside over. Being my husband wasn’t what he’d wanted. He’d wanted to rule over every detail of my life.
Thankfully, Dallas was far away from Joe. When I’d left him a few weeks ago with only the clothes on my back and what little I could fit into a suitcase, I’d decided never to look back or question what I was doing. It was for the best. My future was no longer in Atlanta by Joe’s side.
“Excuse me, ma’am.” A voice pulled me out of my memories. I looked up to see a young woman standing next to the table. “Will there be other people joining you tonight?”
“I think there will be around ten of us. Maybe twelve. I thought this long table would work.”
“It’s the largest one we have.” Her smile was big and bright. “Would you care for anything to drink or eat until the rest of your party arrives?”
Good question. What could I drink tonight? I needed something that would look like a mixed drink. Keep up the appearance that I was indulging with the rest of the gang.
“I’ll take a seltzer water with a lime. And I’ll continue to have those the rest of the evening, if that’s okay?”
“No problem.” She looked at me curiously. “Can I get you anything to eat?”
“No thanks. I’ll just wait until everyone is here.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back with your drink.”
I had a cover now, and it would come in handy. I didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb because I wasn’t drinking and bought myself a little time of blending in at least. Sticking out would come soon enough. Literally.
My server set my drink down in front of me, and I sipped through the stirring straw. It was refreshing and cool. I’d forgotten how dry it was in Dallas this time of year.
There was some movement toward the front of the pub, and I froze instantly at the handsome, older version of my high school sweetheart standing by the front door.
Seeing him was more intense than I’d thought it would be. The heat I felt as he scanned the restaurant and found me, our eyes meeting, nearly made me run to him. The magnetic pull I felt so many years ago when I was anywhere near him still extended between us. Well, at least it did for me.
Dave stood next to him with a funny little smile on his face as he looked from me to Colin. He appeared pleased with what he saw, and I was too. Colin’s face broke into a grin, then he lowered and shook his head.
Hopefully, that was a good sign. My nerves were totally frayed as they started to walk my way, and my heart rate increased with each step they took and my stomach knotted.
Colin’s shirt stretched tight across his broad shoulders, and I wasn’t sure how the two men got away with calling themselves Love Handles since neither had an ounce of flab from what I could see. They looked toned and fit. Especially Colin . . .
“Well, look who it is,” Dave said as he came around the table to give me a big hug. I hugged him back, but stayed attached to the seat of my chair. He quickly took the head spot next to me. One hurdle down. Next up, Colin.
“Great to see you, Dave.” The familiar comfort I’d always experienced around my friends was still there after all these years. It made my heart happy for the first time in months.
I waited for Colin to be seated, and the logical chair for him to take was the one opposite me. But would he? That would mean we’d have to make a lot of eye contact tonight. Who knew? Maybe even our feet or legs would touch on occasion under the table.
Colin didn’t disappoint. He pulled out the chair right across from me and folded his tall frame onto it. I sipped at my drink again. It was definitely getting hotter in here as he stared at me with those deep, blue eyes, the color of bluebonnets. And those long lashes.
God, I remembered looking into his eyes when we’d make love.
I had to stop myself. This train of thought signaled danger, so I began to silently chant, I can do this, I can do this. But as soon as he started to speak, I was a goner. All my resolve melted away.
“Hi, Kirsten.” My name coming from his lips brought back so many old feelings. Good ones.
“Hi, Colin.”
3
Colin’s Turn
Boy, the years had been good to her. She didn’t look a day over twenty-five. The nineteen-year-old girl whose heart I’d broken hid behind a more mature and beautiful face, but her smile appeared just the same to me: bright and contagious.
Her hair was the same. She’d always worn it long, so I was surprised when I spotted her at our ten-year reunion with her hair above the shoulders. The familiar long strands were back now, and it was sexy. My fingers itched to run through them.
After we’d broken up, no one had compared to her. Those pink-colored nipples of hers . . .
I’d loved taking them into my hands and feeling them against my lips. My flashbacks of Kirsten were vivid and powerful. Like it’d been yesterday. I felt myself starting to get hard. Damn, the things we did together. We were pretty adventurous for being so young, especially that last year of high school.
Could she tell what I was thinking? Could she sense all the lust-filled memories pumping through me? She had known me so well at one time. There was no need trying to hide my feelings from her now. I was done playing games. I was a grown man and she was here in this moment with me—a moment I’d dreamed about for years.
All afternoon, I’d told myself I would do what I could to get to know her again and pray she’d let me back into her world. I should have attempted to make some sort of conversation with her instead of checking her out like a piece of prime rib, but I continued to gawk like a pervert.
Not having had sex for a year hadn’t helped either. I needed to rein myself in, so I tried to concentrate on what Dave was saying instead of Kirsten laughing and biting her lips.
“So, you’ve been back in Dallas for a couple weeks now?” Dave leaned back in his chair as he spoke.
“I’ve been here almost a month.” Her eyes were on Dave and occasionally switched to look at me.
“Hey you two. Excuse me a second.” Dave rose out of his seat, and I was tempted to move right into it. Closer to Kirsten. “I’m going to get a tab set up for the group. I’ll be right back.”
“Sounds good,” I replied.
“Did a server come to the table already?” Dave asked, eyeing Kirsten’s drink.
“Yes, the blond girl over there.” Kirsten motioned to
the bar. “She took my drink order, so I’m assuming she’s our server.”
“All right, you two try to behave yourselves.” Dave started to walk off, but stopped. “What do you want, Colin?”
“I’ll take a Heineken. Thanks.”
“I’ll be right back.” Dave winked at Kirsten. He knew exactly what he was doing. Leaving us alone. By ourselves. And I was thankful. It gave Kirsten and me a few minutes to talk before the Love Handles crowd arrived.
“So . . .” Great conversation starter.
“So . . .” she replied, and we both cracked up, easing the tension between us.
“It’s so good to see you, Kirsten.” I laid it out there. Might as well go for broke.
“It’s good to see you, too.” Her gaze pierced through me.
“You look wonderful, by the way.” I took a quick breath before continuing. “More beautiful now than when we were in high school.”
A splash of pink spread across her cheeks. My choice of words weren’t idle; everything I said was true. She was beautiful, inside and out, and it only reinforced how much of an idiot I’d been all those years ago.
How could I have turned my back on such a perfect woman? She was the whole package. One any man would love to have as his.
“You’re making me blush,” she replied. “I’ve changed a lot lately, but thanks for the sweet words.”
“They aren’t just words, Kirsten.” I became serious. “I’ve missed you. I’ve wondered so many times how you were. If you were happy.”
Maybe I was coming on too strong. She’d just left Atlanta, so I assumed things with her husband were on the fritz, but dammit, I couldn’t pull back if I tried. I’d done that years ago and a royal jerk had filled the void I’d left behind. It ended up being the biggest regret of my life. This was my all or nothing, my chance to reach out to her, and I wasn’t going to waste it.
“I’ve had the same thoughts about you over the years.” Her voice was just above a whisper. “I hope you’ve been good.”
I scanned her face and saw complete sincerity. Did that mean she missed me too?
My heart soared, hoping we were on the same page, and that when we looked back at our time together, maybe she could see past the reason for our breakup.
How do you tell someone the last decade of your life was filled with so many regrets you couldn’t count them all? The biggest one being married to the wrong person when you wished you’d married your first love instead. She needed to hear the truth from me. No matter how girlie it sounded, I needed to speak from my heart.
“My life has been crazy over the last ten years. I made a big mistake getting married right after graduating college, but I’ve finally put that all behind me, and I’m looking for a clean slate.”
I didn’t want to bring up my divorce yet, so I decided to speak of my years with Natalie vaguely. That conversation needed to happen soon, but I preferred it being when we were truly alone.
“I understand that all too well.” A sorrowful look spilled from her eyes as she gazed at me. They reflected a life laced with sadness, and I knew I was majorly to blame. Had I not cheated on her, I doubt she would’ve married Joe. She would have been mine.
“Maybe we should think of new beginnings. What do you say?”
“Sounds nice.” A forced smile spread across her face. “Actually, it sounds perfect.”
Her smile faded as she looked down at her drink. Something deep within me ached to know what caused this beautiful woman so much heartache.
“I have to say, I was surprised when Dave told me you were going to be here tonight.” Her face turned up to me, her eyes once again peering into mine. “Are you here for a long visit or something more permanent?”
“I’ve moved back for now.” I didn’t want to push her for more information, but I wanted to know everything about her, even if it wasn’t my business. What we had together was a lifetime ago. Two kids in love. Now, I was a stranger.
“Well, welcome back to Dallas,” I said with the biggest grin my face could muster.
“Thanks. I appreciate that.” She mirrored my smile, and this time, it didn’t seem as forced. “It feels good to be back.”
As we sat grinning at each other, Dave arrived with my beer. Thank God.
“Here you go, Colin.” I took the beer and had to stop myself from downing it in one long pull.
“Thanks. I hope our server can keep up with me tonight.” Dave laughed, but Kirsten looked concerned. “I’m teasing, Kirsten. It’s just been an intense day. Having you here has made it better, though.”
“Yeah, Colin has had a day.” Hitting me on the back, Dave took a seat next to me, and I prayed he kept his big mouth shut about my divorce finalizing today. I didn’t want to focus on it. I also didn’t want her thinking I wasn’t over Natalie when nothing could have been further from the truth.
“Sorry to hear you’ve had a bad day, Colin.” Kirsten spoke so sweetly, her words wrapped around me like a hug.
“Thanks. My day’s definitely improved since I walked in here.” I lifted the bottle of Heineken. “Here’s to old friends and unexpected reunions.”
We clinked our drinks together, and I never took my eyes off Kirsten as we both sipped from our glasses. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something was troubling her. Maybe it was being with our old group of friends, or maybe it was me.
“Have you seen any of the old gang since you arrived back?”
“No one,” she answered. “I’ve been laying low. But when Tina called and invited me tonight, I figured it was time to reconnect with my roots here.” She looked at me intently. “And the people who helped me love Dallas so much.”
Overwhelming old feelings swamped me when she looked at me like that. And what she said . . . was she feeling the same?
“You missed us, didn’t you?” Dave teased. “I know we’ve all missed you. Some more than others.”
Damn him. Dave had to go there. But what he said was true. We all missed her. Tina had blamed me for Kirsten distancing herself from everyone, but everyone knew it had been her husband keeping her under lock and key. Other than a few phone calls with Tina, no one had any luck connecting with her.
But here she was . . . in front of me . . . her asshole husband back in Atlanta. She was a sight for sore eyes.
“Some more than others.” Her eyes darted to me, then back to Dave.
“I’m pretty sure you missed me the most, right?” We all groaned at Dave’s narcissism.
“You always made me laugh. Something I’d almost forgotten how to do.” Her mood shifted suddenly. The sadness resurfaced.
“Well, having you laugh tonight will be our main goal.” Dave placed his hand on her shoulder. “This gang of misfits knows how to have a good time. Right, Colin?”
“We do.” I nodded. “I think that’s why we’re still hanging out together on Thursday nights. It’s like our church. Keeps us all going no matter what life throws our way.”
“I can see that.” Kirsten’s smile was back. “I’m glad I came. When will everyone else get here? Tina said she might be running a bit late.”
“Tina being late is a given,” I explained, looking at Dave for back up. “Usually, everyone is here by seven thirty. Tina by eight.”
“The guys get here on time for the most part. When the girls join us, the evening starts a little later,” Dave said. He looked toward the door and waved. “Looks like we have company.”
I turned around to see Matthew and Bob heading our way, their eyes lighting up in surprise when they saw Kirsten seated with us. I was the only guy Dave had told about her coming tonight, and I loved seeing their faces. Shocked didn’t quite describe their reaction. They appeared almost as stunned as I had been. Matthew took quicker strides, almost jogging toward the table.
I nodded my head at Matthew and smiled. Kirsten had returned.
4
Kirsten’s Turn
“Holy shit! Who do we have here?” Matthew asked. “I swear, sh
e looks like our Kirsten. A prettier version, but still . . . someone’s been holding out on us. Dave?”
“Hi, Matthew. It’s been a long, long time.” I hated being the center of attention, but it was unavoidable given the circumstances.
“Long? Try forever.” He walked around to me, and my palms started to perspire. I hoped I didn’t have to stand up.
“Fourteen years,” Colin said as Matthew scooted around the back of my chair and took the seat next to me. I breathed a sigh of relief. No standing after all.
“Hey, what about me? Don’t I get a hello?”
“Hi, Bob.” I smiled up at him. He still had that sweet baby face from his high school days, minus a little hair on top. “Who could forget you?”
“God, Kirsten, you look great. Really, I can’t believe it. Haven’t aged a day.” Bob’s sincerity was always his most endearing quality, so hearing his compliment made me feel like I didn’t look too bad after all.
“Thanks. I appreciate it.” Bob sat down, and I was now surrounded by the guys I had been the closest with during high school. One was my first lover; the others were like brothers.
It felt good to be with them. All the familiar feelings I’d forgotten came rushing back to me, warming me, comforting me, filling a void that was bigger than I had realized.
“So, what’s the deal, Kirsten?” Matthew asked. “Besides being surprised, I’m also wondering what you’re doing here. Last I heard you were living in Atlanta.”
“I’ve moved back to Dallas for now.” I had a feeling I would be repeating what the heck I was doing here all night. Maybe I should’ve written it all down and handed out a memo.
