“Just advise me to stop breathing,” Alice said, her voice grim. She sank back in the large armchair and looked miserable. “Here’s how things look: I think it’s possible that I’ve fallen madly in love, but the person I’m in love with really only sees me as a screwy old dame who lives in the desert and spends her time spying on snakes.”
Rose’s lips twitched. “Not an unreasonable description,” she said dryly. “But I still don’t really know what the problem is.”
“Who’d want to stick around a screwy old dame? Especially when there’s a gorgeous Tanya somewhere in the background?”
Rose started slathering the avocado across her forehead. “Why don’t you just live for the moment? Enjoy life, enjoy Jace, and enjoy what you have together. Besides, you’re no fortune-teller. You don’t know what the future will bring.”
“It’s too late now for enjoyment. You don’t know what else I’ve done.”
Rose stopped slathering. “Now what?”
“The fact is, the situation I’ve just described about being in love is pure fantasy. The problem is far more complicated.” Alice sighed, staring into space.
“I’m waiting,” said Rose, rather tersely, after a long silent minute.
“Well, everything was going along just fine. I think Jace was interested. I mean, I know he was. Things were getting intense. He even went so far as to defend snakes the other night when a horrible creep threatened me.”
Rose rolled her eyes. “Poor, doomed man.”
“And then I went and ruined everything. I told him that there was someone else in my life.” Her shoulders sagged.
“You did what?” Rose gaped. She was so shocked she even forgot about her beauty treatment for a few seconds.
“Brad. I said that Brad and I … ” Alice was too miserable to finish the sentence.
“What did you go and do a stupid thing like that for?”
“I was scared. There was that Tanya in the picture. And then there was all the upheaval. I mean, look what Jace has done to my life. I was perfectly happy before. Then he just flashed into town and turned everything upside down. I had to defend myself. And now I don’t want to anymore,” she said in a little voice. “But if I admit the truth about Brad, Jace will think I’m racing after him and desperate. And a liar. Bad image. So now it’s too late.”
Rose observed Alice silently for a minute. “Maybe not.”
“Meaning?”
“Nothing is hopeless, Alice. Why don’t we just think up a plan? Let’s call it Plan B. You panicked; you chased him off. Now put Plan B into action.”
“Which means what?”
“Plan B means making a wild play for Jace. Show him he matters. That he fits into your life. See what happens.”
“He’ll still probably go back to Tanya when he’s through with me,” said Alice grimly.
“But, at the very least you’ll have had a wonderful affair. Besides, Chicago is still in the United States, last time I heard. How do you know he won’t ask you to come and visit? These days, you can even get on a plane and fly all the way there, nonstop.”
“You’re incorrigible.” Alice got to her feet.
“Hey, Alice? Before you go, let me give you a tip. Why don’t you act sort of normal — feminine — for a while? You know what I mean.”
“I am. I’m cooking something wonderful for lunch. A Sambal made with coconut milk, red peppers, onions. Something to show how grateful I am that he’s repairing the things I always meant to get around to fixing but never really managed to find the time to do them in.”
Rose looked pained. “That’s not quite what I had in mind. Stop being so domestic and do something more direct. Think Plan B, and that means big-time signaling. Go heavy on lipstick, eyeliner, low-cut sweaters, sultry looks, and touching. You know the stuff: your fingers resting on his arm for longer than they should, your hips brushing against his in the hallway.”
“Sure. That’s my scene, all right. Transparent negligees, toeless shoes with rhinestones, ostrich feather boas. Blake’s Folly at its best.” Alice rolled her eyes heavenward. She knew, deep inside, those things wouldn’t attract Jace. He’d probably seen it all back in Chicago. And she couldn’t pretend to be what she wasn’t either: he’d see through the game. Instinct was telling her Jace actually liked her for the person she was.
“One last thing, Alice. Don’t talk to Jace about snakes. Ever. Pretend you’ve never heard the word ‘reptile’. Act frail. Helpless. Like a Plan B female. It might excite him, bring out his protective male instinct.” Rose pondered for a second. “Do you think you could start squeaking when you see spiders?”
• • •
“Alice, that was an incredible meal!” Jace sighed with satisfaction as he put down his fork.
“I aim to please,” said Alice calmly. But she was pleased. Very much so. “I do want to show you how much I appreciate the work you’re doing on the house.”
Jace looked at her. She’d come a long way toward trusting him too. Was she aware of that? That’s what one of the goals of Plan B had been. Now it was time for the second step — as much as he disliked the idea of part two of Plan B. It was called sharing interests. Now or never. “There is something else I want from you, Alice.”
“Oh?” She didn’t even look wary anymore. Dreamy perhaps. He’d have given anything to be able to read her mind.
“Sure. I’d like you to teach me a few things.”
“Teach?” She waited.
“Yeah.” Jace swallowed, and then battled on despite the squeamishness in his gut. “About snakes.”
“Snakes?” She stared as if hearing the word for the first time in her life.
“That’s right.”
“Why?”
“Why not?”
Pure bluff. He could think of about twenty thousand reasons why not. To start with, the idea made his skin crawl, made him half silly with fear. But he’d learn about snakes even if he died in the attempt — which seemed a definite possibility. And Alice would learn how nice it could be to do things together instead of retreating into her own world. Instead of locking him out. She’d see that even if they didn’t have a lot in common at the moment, a relationship could grow and interests could be shared. Did he dare look deeply into why he wanted those things? Did he know? Certainly not only because he desired Alice, or not only because he did. But she touched him inside. He’d never felt like that before. Perhaps he was also learning what the word trust really meant.
Now as Jace watched her, he saw the way conflicting emotions chased each other across her face.
“If that’s what you want.” She didn’t sound as though she believed him. Not really. No, she was staring at him as if he’d lost his mind.
Which he probably had. “Lesson one right now, okay?”
“Okay.” She was still gaping at him. Then she shrugged. “Okay. Go get your jacket. I’ll take you to a hibernaculum — a hibernation hole.”
• • •
As they trudged out into the desert, Jace tried to squash the queasy sensations that started high in his throat and continued on down until they reached deeply into his gut. He was reacting like a weakling and he hated himself for it, but if Alice couldn’t read the expression on his face, then he might get through this experience with a little dignity. Perhaps the best thing to do was make a little light conversation — although all his thoughts were turning around snakes at the moment.
“Do you actually have a degree in herpetology?”
Alice shook her head. “There isn’t one. You can have a degree in biology or zoology, but not in herpetology. Actually, quite a few of the people doing high quality research in herpetology are self-taught. One of the most famous is a salesman in Texas.”
“Interesting,” said Jace, and hated himself for sounding so faint.
“You sure you’re all right with this?” Alice reached out, touched his arm gently. There was no condescension in her voice.
“Keep touching me and I will be,” he joked, trying
to sound light-hearted. Not that it wasn’t the truth. He loved it when they touched.
He saw her eyes flicker, wondered what that meant. Not “no”. Definitely not a rejection, instinct said. Every passing minute told him that Plan B was working its magic. She was showing tenderness and he liked being the object of it. Basked in it. Nothing was more satisfying than to see a strong, independent woman begin to melt.
“Jace, try and do one thing: whenever you do see a snake, try and appreciate the creature. See the beauty of its movements, its markings. Try to find aesthetic appreciation.”
“Sure.” He tried not to shiver. Could he really get over his repulsion? He doubted it.
“Think also that the snake is a victim, not an aggressor.”
“Right. That should be easy: a five-foot-long slithering victim with deadly poison.” But he told himself to relax, to think about how good it felt out here. Because that, at least, was true.
The few straggling tufts of vegetation, tickled by the chilly breeze, shimmered along the broad horizon. And the silence? Well, he’d already become used to that too. Life without the noise of traffic and big city clatter did have appeal. “Okay. Reassure me. Tell me more about snakes being victims.”
Alice nodded. “Sure. Well, for one, so many are killed by cars because they love to go bask in the heat on the road. And even if most people are instinctively afraid of snakes, snakes aren’t instinctively afraid of people, so they sometimes slide into back yards, just passing through on their way to somewhere else. They should be left alone, of course, but people kill them as soon as they catch sight of them. Then, as you know, there are the dangers of habitat destruction, and rattlesnake roundups.”
She shook her head sadly. “Very few snakes manage to survive their first encounter with man. Not only that, hawks, owls, coyotes, roadrunners, bobcats, skunks, badgers, and other snakes all prey on newborn rattlers, too.”
Jace nodded and wisely kept any comment to himself, although he couldn’t help feeling the coyotes and bobcats were on his side. But he couldn’t allow himself to think that way. Not now. He had to concentrate on following Alice out into the back of beyond, his steps matching hers, their hands brushing from time to time.
“Everyone should remember how important snakes are,” Alice continued. “They eat animals most people want to get rid of: mice, shrews, rats, moles, gophers, lizards, rabbits and other snakes. Carrion, too.” She stopped suddenly, pointed to the ground a short distance away, to a crack under a scattering of rocks. “See that crevice?”
He did. It was just a long, innocuous-looking fissure.
“Well, that’s one of the best hibernation places I know. What’s really interesting is that even if snakes are loners, they meet up with other snakes to hibernate. The babies follow their mother’s scent, and some of these hibernacula have been used for centuries. Inside, you can find hundreds of snakes as well as the other creatures they share the space with. Tortoises, for example.”
“Hundreds of snakes in that one hole,” Jace said thoughtfully.
“We won’t see them now, of course. It’s too cold. They won’t come out until the spring, and you probably won’t be here then.”
Her expression hadn’t changed, nor had her voice. He must have imagined the faint note of wistfulness. Spring in the desert, she’d said? It didn’t sound half bad. But Chicago was waiting for him. The publishing work he did at the university was waiting. He couldn’t stay out here forever.
Alice must have misinterpreted his silence. “Having second thoughts about learning more?”
“No,” he said honestly. “Trying to educate myself, although I’ve got a long way to go. All those snakes curled up almost under our feet sounds treacherous and very unpleasant.”
“I imagine it does to most people. Which is why I want to share my appreciation and knowledge of them with everyone by photographing them, writing about them.”
“A fearless woman.” he teased.
Her golden eyes met his soberly. “No. I’d never say that. I’d be lying if I did.”
“A very original, independent one, though.”
The toe of her walking boot scratched the surface of the prairie floor. “I was a very different person when I was younger. I had to spend years building up independence. Having done that, it’s become hard for me to show vulnerability.”
Amazing, she’d actually admitted it. Jace could hardly believe his ears. But he knew he couldn’t react. She’d probably clam up again if he did. Instead, he said, as smoothly as possible, and without the slightest trace of a grin: “That must make things very difficult in your relationship.”
Alice’s head snapped up. “Relationship?” she said faintly.
“With Brad. You know. The rancher.”
“Oh. Oh, yes. Brad.” She managed a smile, a forced one, perfectly false.
“The all-Western he-man.” Jace nodded. He knew he couldn’t question her further on this particular subject. Not now. But he had a very definite feeling there really was no threatening Brad in the picture. Of course there wasn’t. She’d invented a love story with Brad because she’d needed to put some distance between them.
Now all he had to do was be patient. Keep up with Plan B. Live for the moment. Stay cool. His eyes went back to the crevice in the ground, not more than twenty feet away.
Alice followed his eyes. “How does it feel to be so close to the creatures you hate so much?”
“Hate? Do I really hate them? I wonder. I have a phobia, that’s the problem. But why hang onto a phobia when there’s a chance of getting rid of it, and making your life happier? No, I’ll get used to those creatures, I’m sure I will. Sometimes we all just need time to get familiar with the idea of things before we can really accept them and care for them.”
“I suppose so,” Alice said softly.
He wondered if they were both still referring to reptiles.
Chapter Ten
“You bringing Jace to the Get-Together tomorrow?” Rose examined her face in the little mirror she had propped against the coffee cup on Alice’s kitchen table, then pulled a tube of mascara out of her handbag.
“To the Blake’s Folly Annual Get-Together at the Mizpah Hotel?” Alice stared at her friend. “Are you crazy?”
“Not yet. But I’m working on it.” Rose opened her eyes wide, began stroking her lashes with the mascara wand. “So why don’t you invite him then? You might both have fun.”
“No way.” Alice would fight this new idea of Rose’s tooth and nail. “Go there with Jace? He’d hate every minute of it!”
“How do you know he’d hate it?”
“Of course he would. Because Sly Grimes is going to sing and he’s terrible. And the Old Boy’s Band is just about as awful as you can get.”
Rose grinned. “Awful isn’t the word. Try gruesome. Painful.” She dug around in her purse, pulled out a tube of pearly lipstick. “But that isn’t important. What matters is asking him to go someplace with you. That’s a perfect Plan B tactic.”
“Plan B or not, I can’t ask Jace to the Get-Together. He’d never forgive me.”
“So what does he expect out here in the desert? Mozart? Beethoven?”
“Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter since I’m not going to ask him anyway.”
“Of course you’re not. You’re too much of a crank to do something simple like asking Jace to a normal country dance in your own normal community.”
“Don’t fool yourself. Blake’s Folly is not normal. Just think how everyone will stare. At me. At Jace. It’ll be about as much fun as being on display in a cage at the zoo.”
“Yeah. I know.” Rose screwed the lipstick back down into its tube. “When I told Jane Grimes I was coming over here for coffee this morning, she said the whole village was waiting to see the two of you together. She said that Mick Fletcher told Tony that Lucy Miller spent all her time blabbing about you. She says that the reason nobody ever sees the two of you together is because you and Jace spend all your
time holed up here. In bed together. That you’re both living out a deep, intense, obsessive sexual passion.”
Rose stood up, reached for her coat. “So I guess it’s up to you. You want to make a public appearance or just keep all those rumors flying?”
• • •
It had been years since she’d dumped all these boxes and suitcases up here in the attic. How many times had she thought of coming up, sorting everything out, giving this junk away? At least a million. Then she hadn’t done that after all.
Alice, sitting on the floor in the midst of the chaos, clicked open the catch of the expensive beige bag. On top was the black sheath dress she’d bought so long ago. Elegant and chic, it would never go out of style. The same with the brightly colored silk blouses, skirts. Beautiful things. Classics. But out here, in this life, they weren’t classics; they were just odds and ends from the past. Good for one place only: Rose’s second hand store.
The faint odor of some forgotten perfume rose in the still air. It all seemed so long ago. It was so long ago. Another lifetime, when she’d been another woman.
Take this red bit of froth. She’d worn it once; she could even remember the night. The party: noisy and crowded with the cream of Hollywood society. There had been a well-known rock group and a large yellow and green striped tent. She hadn’t wanted to be there. Her face ached from smiling, from trying to look happy when she was miserable; her eyes burned from the effort of keeping them wide open and looking alert. And all she’d wanted was to be alone, far away from the intolerable noise, the banal chitchat.
“Where’s H.B.?” someone near her had asked.
“On location,” she’d answered. Made the usual effort at keeping all emotion out of her voice. That’s what was expected of her. The paparazzi, the gossip columnists, the society vultures, the ones who pretended to be your friends, would swoop down on you and gobble you up if they saw the slightest crack in your armor.
In fact, she’d had no idea where H.B. was. He’d been on location … last week. This week, she hadn’t been able to reach him. He was on location, all right. Holed up somewhere with his latest leading lady. Or someone else. It didn’t matter. One woman this week: next week, another. Many marriages were like that in their circle. One partner running his or her own show, leaving the other to paddle madly in deep water.
All About Charming Alice Page 11
