Distraction

by McPherson, Angela

  "With this girl I met last year. I've mentioned her to you. Her name is Kellie, and she's the one." He hesitated. "We're engaged."

  My once racing heart plummeted to a standstill. My fingers, hands, every part of me felt numb. I could see his lips moving, but couldn't hear his words. His face lit with such emotion it hurt to see it, hurt to feel it, and then sadly, sound made its way to my ears again.

  "You know, she kind of reminds me of you. She's sweet, but infuriatingly stubborn at times." He peered down at me with a crooked grin. The gesture usually melted my heart, but not now. Instead, all I felt was heartache. "She has a great personality and she's hot, but that's not why I love her." He searched my face, his brows furrowed. "Hey, Spud. What's wrong?"

  The concern in his deep voice nearly did me in. He used the pad of his thumb and wiped the escaped tear falling down my cheek. I forced my lips into a deceiving smile, hoping my heart wouldn't break into a million pieces with what I intended to say.

  "I'm just so happy for you, and I'm glad you've met someone so special. You deserve all the happiness in the world, Tristan. She's a lucky girl."

  Tristan devoured me in his arms, squeezing me tight. I allowed his embrace, wanting to hold on to the moment before it was gone...lost to someone else.

  "You know, I was more nervous telling you than my parents. At first they were pissed, or actually, my mom was. After a while though, she gave up arguing with me. Plus, Kellie's enrolled here at Tech. She's the reason why I decided to move here."

  His words sunk in and suddenly his strong arms felt suffocating. I pushed myself away from his hold, needing to create as much distance as I could.

  "Hey, I'm kind of tired. Do you mind if we call it a night?"

  Tristan agreed, completely unaware of the wound he'd cut in my chest.

  * * *

  Tristan left early Sunday morning, wanting to help Kellie move the rest of her furniture. He said she'd started classes already, but hadn't finished moving her stuff in. He also asked if we could hook up later in the week so I could meet the girl who stole him away from me. I added that part, obviously, but it was more or less true.

  What a great start to a new semester. Maybe if I had confessed how I felt then I could have what this Kellie chick had, but I lacked bravery. I was just as weak as my mother, which I swore I would never be. Obviously, the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

  Speaking of family, I emailed my sister. I usually emailed her once or twice a week, hoping she'd come back home. I missed her so much, and after Tristan left, more than anything I missed the way she and I used to talk to each other. Her silly faces always made me laugh and then we'd eat a bowl of ice cream watching girly movies together until we fell asleep. Now, I just wished to see her face, with or without the silly faces.

  Chapter 5

  Tristan

  By Sunday morning, the way Elle smelled, seeing her innocent, beautiful face...well, I couldn't take being around her anymore. Last night, seconds before I confessed, a warm breeze blew pieces of hair in her face, hiding her bright eyes. Without thinking, I brushed my fingers across her cheek, warm and soft, as I tucked the loose strands behind her ear. I'd planned to rush the words out, but after I said I was in love, I hesitated.

  There was a moment–though brief–when I thought she wanted me to say I was in love with her. A ridiculous conclusion, and immediately I squashed the pathetic thought. When I finished, and stared into the pool of green forming in Elle's eyes, I swear to God my throat felt like my air supply had been clamped off. Never in my life had I wanted to take my words back.

  Afterward, I thought I'd feel free, but freedom didn't come close to how I felt. Fucking miserable described me perfectly. I needed to get my shit together, and every minute I spent alone with Elle reminded me of what I wanted but would never have. So I left early, using Kellie as an excuse. I'd be early, but figured the hour or so long drive to her parents’ place would help clear my head.

  Kellie and her parents were just finishing loading their truck when I got there. They'd be following behind on the way to Kellie's dorm.

  Before we took off, I tried calling and texting Elle, but without success. I went against my better judgment–I called Alyssa. Alyssa said Elle was out, but would relay the message. When Kellie jumped into my car, I put my phone up and tried like hell to push Elle out of my mind.

  "You're awfully quiet," Kellie said after we'd been on the road for a while.

  "Just thinking about football," I lied.

  The trip back to Lubbock dragged while listening to Kellie talk colors and shit for our engagement party. A fucking party. Why couldn't she plan this shit by herself? I worked my way around her questions until finally my relief came when her phone rang. I prayed whoever she talked with on the opposite end of the line would keep Kellie occupied until we made it to town.

  * * *

  When Kellie's dad and I finished unloading the last piece of heavy furniture, I ducked into a bathroom and dialed Elle's number again. Thankfully she picked up, agreeing to meet us Wednesday night for dinner. Hearing her voice made the sick feeling in my stomach ease up. Satisfied, I walked outside.

  "All right, kids," Mr. Williams said, wiping sweat from his brow. "We're gonna head out." He gave me a stern look.

  "Bye, Daddy," Kellie said, giving him a hug then turned and pulled her mom in for a final goodbye hug as well. "Y'all be careful on your way back."

  "Get to sleep early," Mr. Williams said, eyeing me again then looked back at his daughter. If he only knew, I thought. "Don't forget you have an early class tomorrow."

  "I know. I love you."

  "We love you, too," Mrs. Williams added, pulling out a tissue to wipe her eyes. I understood they wanted to stay, but sweat was rolling down my ass standing outside in the fucking heat. I wanted them gone.

  Finally, fifteen minutes of tears and hugs later, they left. Kellie and I grabbed a quick dinner, and then headed back to my place.

  When we were inside, Kellie followed me to my bedroom. "Did you and Elle have fun?"

  "Yup, what about you?"

  "I missed you," she said, peeling out of her shirt. Distraction. I had to remind myself, being here with Kellie was real. What I wanted. What I chose.

  "Really?" My lips turned up into a hell-bent grin.

  "Uh, hmm." Shirtless, she walked over to me. I left my arms hanging at my side, waiting to see what game she wanted to play, though it didn't take long before our clothes were off. Kellie kneeled between my legs. Oh yes, Kellie was very distracting indeed.

  * * *

  "I'm meeting up with some guys from the team. We're watching the game. Do you want to come?" She rolled her eyes, stepping into her jeans.

  "Tristan, you know I hate sports, besides you'll end up ignoring me the whole time anyway." I didn't argue; she had a point. I hated explaining plays to her. The sport didn't matter, football, baseball, she never understood any of it.

  “All right, I'll talk to you in the morning." We finished dressing, and just in time. One of Kellie's annoying friends pulled into my driveway to pick her up.

  As soon as they left, I took off to the same frat house I went to with Elle the other night. Most of the guys from the team pledged there. The second I walked in, I had a beer in my hand and a hot chick next to me.

  "Thanks," I told her.

  "No problem. My name's Jenny. You're cute." She smiled back, the intent in her light blue eyes clear to read.

  "Daniels, get your ass over here," Jarred hollered.

  "Comin'." I grinned down at the girl next to me. "Thanks, you're not bad yourself, but sadly, I'm with someone." The heated look in her eyes faded.

  "Lucky girl. I guess I'll see you around." She smiled and walked away. I laughed quietly and headed over to the couch.

  "What's the score?" I sat back, relaxed into the cushions and took a long, satisfying drink.

  "Two to zip, Yankees," Bret answered from behind.

  I turned around. "Hey, man."
/>   He nodded.

  Robbie walked over with a big-ass grin. "Who's up for a bet?"

  "Who you going for?" I usually rooted for NY, but would gladly bet against Robbie if need be. I still didn't like him.

  "Bro, Rangers all the way." Robbie shook his head.

  I smiled. "I'll take your bet. Twenty on the Yanks."

  The dick tilted his head back and laughed.

  "Pussy, fifty." Bret jumped in. "Fifty on the Yankees too, dickhead." Bret's tone hardened, making me wonder if he had the same vibes I did. "Rob, I'm gonna love taking your money." From the heat in Bret's stare, I knew some sort of history had gone on between them.

  "Whatever, man," Robbie countered.

  "I'm in. Fifty bucks says Yankees kick ass," I said. We threw our cash on the coffee table.

  "Jarred, you in?" I turned, waiting for his reply.

  "Nah, not my thing." He shrugged.

  A few others from the team joined in on the action before all bets were closed. Surprisingly, more guys rooted for Texas than New York. Stupid asses.

  Conversations drifted from one topic to another. Everyone from the team was pretty cool, which made switching easier than I'd expected. Changing teams gave me more experience with other players, and these guys kicked ass.

  Not long after I joined this summer, Jarred asked if I wanted to pledge. I turned him down. My dad pledged here back in the day, and I refused to be a part of his legacy. But I had to admit, being in a brotherhood with these guys would be cool.

  By the end of the third inning, NY took the lead. More people showed up, and when I say people, I mean hot sorority girls. Gotta love the female population in West Texas.

  I had finished off my second beer when a cute blonde walked over to me on the couch.

  "Hi. You're new here, right?"

  "Yep." I stood. "I need another beer, you want one?" I may not be able to play, but harmless flirting I could do.

  "Sure, I'll follow you."

  Just before the doors swung closed in the kitchen, I heard Robbie holler. Apparently Texas scored. Shit. I opened the fridge and pulled out two cold Buds. When I turned back around, the blonde pushed herself on me and grabbed my junk.

  "How about we ditch this place." She smiled, then licked her plump, pink lips. Dammit, did I say harmless? I smiled back, trailed my hand down her arm and carefully removed her hand.

  "Sorry, but I'm with someone."

  "So," she inched closer, pressing her firm tits on my chest, "I won't tell if you won't tell." Temptation was a bitch.

  "As appealing as your offer is," I sidestepped her, "I'm afraid I'll have to turn you down."

  "Jenny said you were a good guy." She shook her head. "But I had to see for myself." She reached for one of the beers in my hands. "My name's Katy, if you find yourself single."

  "I'll keep you in mind." I winked, then made my way back to the couch next to Bret. Jarred had moved on, or more likely up to a bedroom with Katy's friend, Jenny.

  "Dude," Bret nodded toward Katy, "you gonna hit that?" His goofy ass should not smile.

  "Nah, I'm with someone."

  Bret laughed. "All right, but you have no idea what you're missing.'"

  "Noted." I laughed and continued to watch the game.

  Half the room roared, while the other half cursed when Jason Nix hit another homer. Texas had a hard time batting against Sabathia's pitches, but still managed to score a few runs. The win could go either way.

  By the end of the ninth inning, the atmosphere in the room was charged. The game ran close, too close, and if Sabathia didn't strike out the next hitter, Andrus could give Texas the lead they needed to win.

  "Full count, Christ." Robbie paced the room. Then in a perfect, straight down the middle pitch, Andrus struck out.

  "How's it feel to lose, Rob?" Bret teased, punching him in the arm.

  "Screw you!" Robbie fought to keep his anger under control, and I was about to push him over the edge when I got a text.

  Great game!!!

  I grinned and texted Elle back. Yup

  Elle loved sports as much as I did. I should have known she'd be watching tonight.

  Another text came across, this time from Kellie. Baby, I miss you. Is that stupid game over yet?

  Did you win your bet? Elle's text came across, interrupting my reply to Kellie. I shook my head. She knew me too well.

  Tristan, are you going to answer me??? I texted Kellie back telling her I planned to turn in early, then texted Elle letting her know I won my bet.

  I knew it! Who in the hell would bet against NY anyway? Idiots ;)

  Then came another text from Kellie. Fine, but I really wanted you to stay with me. My roommate is out :(

  I sent Kellie a quick apologizing text. I had practice in the morning and Coach would be all over my ass if I showed up tired from an all-nighter. When Kellie didn't reply back, I texted Elle. IKR?

  K, off 2 bed. TTYL

  "I'm out guys." I stood, stretching my arms. "See y'all on the field."

  "See ya, Daniels," a few guys said.

  On my drive home, my mind wandered to the two women in my life. Kellie and Elle were complete opposites. Elle loved sports, but Kellie didn't. In the beginning, I found Kellie's ignorance kind of cute. She'd frown every time I'd try to explain what was going on. Eventually she gave up asking, and made plans with a friend when I did watch a game. At first she'd watch me play, but after a while she stopped all together.

  Elle watched all my games and even gave me a few pointers now and again. When I'd gotten a bad call back in high school, the fury in her eyes always pulled me out of a shitty mood. She knew what to say when I lost and what to do when I won. She knew me and would never complain about sports.

  I pulled into my driveway, parked my car, headed into my house, and went straight to my room and undressed. In bed, I cursed my stupid ass for being in love with someone other than Kellie. Maybe in time I'd be able to stop, though a part of me didn't think I ever would.

  Elle

  Sunday morning after Tristan left, Alyssa bombarded me with questions. I told her about his transfer and playing football here, but nothing more. I wasn't ready to tear the band-aid off quite yet. She could tell something was up when I didn't answer Tristan's calls. I never dismissed a call from him.

  Eventually I did answer and agreed to dinner with him and Kellie on Wednesday. I knew I'd have to overcome the milestone sooner or later. In an attempt to push through my misery, I texted Tristan after watching the NY and Texas game. But at the end of the day, alone with my thoughts, I ended up falling apart… again.

  On Monday I asked for extra shifts at work, and even joined a local outreach program to help keep me distracted. Between school and my extra activities, the emptiness and hurt faded a little.

  However, as much as I wished Wednesday wouldn't come, it did. I invited Alyssa to come along and nonchalantly, mentioned Tristan's engagement. Much to my surprise, Alyssa didn't comment. Thankfully she agreed, because my increasing stress level made going on day by day difficult.

  Last night while studying, Mom called to say my sister was somewhere in Lubbock. She asked me to keep an eye out, and show her picture to people. Not what I wanted to hear. Mom really knew how to layer on the guilt. In the end, I agreed to ask around.

  I loved my family, but I couldn't deal with the constant worry of their lives anymore. I wanted out, needed space, if at the very least for a short while. Running off to college gave me the distance I needed. But dismissing my guilt for wanting to leave haunted me, especially when I constantly worried about Heather's addiction problem.

  Alyssa brought me out of my depressive thoughts. "I so cannot wait to see this Kellie person."

  I didn't comment and let her continue her rant about what Kellie looked like.

  I checked my hair and outfit about a million times before Alyssa stopped me. "Elle, you look great. Stop obsessing in the mirror."

  I stepped away from my reflection and, ready or not, Alyssa a
nd I drove to the same restaurant where Tristan and I ate last weekend. I guessed the choice fit. My heart had been broken there, and now I'd be meeting the person responsible.

  "Hey, do you have any lip gloss with you? I can't seem to find mine." I searched through my bag, desperate to look my best.

  "Yeah, in my purse in the back." I grabbed her purse, and finding the gloss, I applied it with a shaky hand when we pulled up to the restaurant. "Are you ready for this?" Alyssa's voice sounded strained.

  I looked over at her. "Yeah. I'm thrilled to freaking death." I'd never mentioned my feelings for Tristan, but the sympathy pouring from Alyssa's eyes made me wonder if I'd been more transparent than I once thought.

  I plastered the biggest smile I could and nodded.

  “All right, let's get this show on the road," she said.

  Once inside, we spotted Tristan and her sitting near the front of the restaurant. With my chin held high, I headed straight to their table with Alyssa's heels clicking behind me.

  "Hey, Spud, Amazon," Tristan said, and then offered his great smile. When his dark brown hair fell near his eyes, my pulse jumped. Kellie looked up at us with wide eyes. Good.

  "Hi. You must be Kellie," I said, smiling so big my cheeks hurt.

  Kellie bobbed her head and squeaked. "Yes, you must be Elle." She dragged her eyes from me and up higher to Alyssa. "And you must be Am–" she corrected herself, "sorry, I mean, Alyssa." Her face turned as red as a ripened tomato.

  Alyssa pushed me into the booth. I faced Tristan and she faced Kellie. "I'm sure Shrimp here has mentioned my little nickname, but I prefer you call me, Alyssa. I reserve nicknames for those I consider friends." She glanced at Tristan, then back to Kellie. "Well maybe not friends, but he's Elle's other best friend so I allow him."

  Without skipping a beat, Alyssa picked up her menu and scanned the page. I had to close my mouth, but Kellie's mouth still hung open when I followed Alyssa's move and looked over my menu.