"Why do you keep running away?"
Tristan's warm eyes peered through me, but I couldn't speak, locked in a frozen state between desire of wanting him and the fear to let go.
"Answer me." His brows furrowed.
“I don't...I'm not." What in the hell was wrong with me? I caught the same flash of the anger from earlier flare in his eyes. He slammed his hand at the wall next to my head. The vibration of his hit jarred me and my knees nearly gave.
His words tore at me, but not because he'd been angry, but because I'd hurt him. Again. Every ounce of desire within me ached for him, his touch, his lips, his hands...his everything. We continued glaring, neither of us backing down.
"Stop lying!" Tristan moved his right arm from the wall, and trailed his fingers down my arm. The other held me prisoner, caged between him and the wall. "Tell me you don't feel this." He cocked a brow then dipped his head forward. His lips hovered over mine, teasingly close. “You smell good."
My breathing increased into embarrassing pants.
Tristan moved my hair behind my shoulder, and lowering his head, skated his tongue down my heated skin. A small moan escaped from my open lips. I couldn't help it. All my fantasies were coming true. Well, I'd never imagined us in this predicament, but anyway.
I tilted my head, giving him more access. I wanted him.
"Mmmm, baby, you taste so good." Tristan finally moved his other hand, weaving his fingers through the hair at the back of my head. "I know you want this." He halted his pursuit with his tongue. Face to face, I could see the desire in his gaze. "Tell me you don't want this." He pressed his hand on my chest. I was sure he could feel the wild beats against my chest. "Tell me you don't want me and I'll walk away. I'll leave and never come back." His eyes roamed my face, and his thumb smoothed over my parted lips. "Tell me you don't want my lips on yours. Tell me you don't want me to make love to you."
He backed away, and my legs gave. I bent forward to keep from falling, and pressed a hand over my chest.
"I guess not."
I snapped my head up. What?
Tristan grabbed his keys off the coffee table and moved to the door.
I had to stop him before it was too late. Before I lost him.
Forever.
Chapter 33
Tristan
I didn't know for sure, but I was pretty certain I'd just lost my best friend, the woman I loved more than anything.
When she didn't respond, I walked away. I couldn't stand being close to her without touching her. Goddammit. If heaven had a taste, it’d taste like her. Her soft lips scorched me, and the way her skin heated under my touch caused my heart to explode. Her heart raced beneath my hand, but still she refused to answer me.
I grabbed my keys and headed toward the door. She made her decision. The sting hurt like hell, but maybe I could move on. I had to. Reaching for the knob, my chest felt hollow, my legs numb and weak, until I heard her whisper. "I'm scared."
Sputtering cries broke through the air. I remained with my hand on the knob. Lowering my head, I rested my forehead against the door. Fuck. I didn't want her to cry. No, I deserved more. We deserved more. I wouldn't let her off the hook, not until she confessed how she truly felt.
"I'm sorry, but that isn't good enough." I raised my head and opened the door, trying like hell to keep my hand from shaking.
"Please, don't leave me." I stepped out the door. "Tristan, wait." I heard the desperation in her voice. I relented and turned around. Her eyes were vibrant and green, her nose and cheeks red and blotchy.
"What do you want?" I cleared my throat. My own emotions had damn near reached their breaking point. She opened her mouth, and then snapped her lips closed. "What are you so afraid of?" She looked ready to fall apart and it took every bit of strength I had to keep from rushing to her, pulling her against my chest, and holding her. Kissing her. Loving her.
"I'm afraid of falling. I'm afraid you won't be there to catch me, and I'll be left broken and hurt."
She just ripped my heart out of my chest. Did she really think I'd let her fall? I blamed her dad for leaving her all those years ago. I closed the door, but didn't step closer. Not yet.
"Do you want to be with me?" I held my breath and waited. She slowly nodded. I didn't need any more; she'd done enough for me.
I was in front of her in an instant. Cupping her face in my hands, I crouched down until our eyes were level. "If you fall, I'll catch you. Always."
Her breath rushed out, and I took her mouth hostage. Her lips tasted even better than I remembered. Sweet, but salty from tears. I needed to be closer. I needed to be inside of her. Now.
Moving my hands from her face, I picked her up and moved us toward my bedroom. Elle's legs locked around my waist, her hands weaving in my hair.
Once we reached my room, I walked us back to my bed and gently lowered her down. Hovering over her, I backed away. As much as I wanted to be inside her, I wanted to brand everything about this moment in my mind, forever.
"Why did you stop?" Elle scrunched her brows together and puckered her lips.
I couldn't resist and leaned in. I had to taste her. Her hands grabbed the front of my shirt, pulling me to her, but I backed away again.
"I've waited way too fucking long to be with you." Softly, I stroked the side of her face with my finger. "To touch you this way." Tears spilled down her cheeks. "Baby, don't cry."
She smiled up at me.
"I'm happy, Tristan." She bit her lower lip. "I'm still scared, though."
I watched her carefully, fear clear to see in her expressive green eyes.
"I've loved you since we were kids. I loved you then, now, and I will love you when you're big and pregnant with our fifth son."
Her plump lips turned up in a delicious grin. "Don't you think we're moving a bit fast?"
Fast? Fuck no.
"This has been the slowest relationship in the history of relationships."
"Tristan, we just started...um, dating, or whatever this is."
Those kissable lips turned down in a sexy-as-hell frown. God, she was adorable. I slowly lowered my body over hers. My gaze traveled from her face to her parted lips. Her breathing increased along with the throbbing pressure inside my jeans.
"We've been dating since we were kids. This," I traced my tongue over her bottom lip and a moan escaped, "is more than dating. This is me finally getting to love you the way I've wanted to love you for as long as I can remember."
She placed her hands on my chest and pushed me back. I thought I'd said too much, until I noticed the determined look in her gaze.
"Then you better get to showing me." She scraped her bottom lip with her teeth. Fuck, she was going to be the end of me. “I’m about to explode from wanting you, and I'm really hoping the rumors are true."
Stunned, I raised up but straddled her. She giggled. What the fuck?
"What rumors?" She scooted up my bed and into a sitting position, opposite of how I wanted her, which was under me.
"How fantastic you are to be with."
I flinched, not wanting her to think about me with other women.
"Elle, no woman will ever compare to you. You're the person who's held my heart."
Her expression softened. "I know."
The distance needed to be shortened. Moving closer, I grabbed her thighs, jerked her down and kissed her, passionately.
Elle
Warmth pooled in my stomach with every kiss and caress. Tristan's hands slid under my shirt, inching the fabric up, his tongue following. He backed away long enough to lift my shirt over my head. At this rate, I'd explode before we got to the good part. I decided he needed help and lifted up to unlatch my bra. He stopped me.
"Nope, not yet."
My eyes widened, and I pushed myself up on my elbows.
"What do you mean? Not yet?" The same cocky grin he used to torture me all these years rested on his lips. I lost my patience. Ready to take control and make him understand just how frustrate
d he made me, I fell back against his mattress and slid one strap over my shoulder. He sat back on his heels, still straddling me. Grinning, I slid the other bra strap down. His breathing increased, his eyes searched mine with heat and desire. I licked my dried lips, watching him. He released a low rumble before jerking my arms over my head.
"I said not yet." His mouth crashed over mine. He unlatched my bra, and then threw it across the room. He cupped my breast with one hand, his thumb circling my nipple. My body shivered as I arched into his hand. I reached for the bottom of his shirt, sliding my hands up his torso and tugged the material over his head.
His bare chest pressed firmly against mine, increasing the fervor I felt. Tristan skated his tongue down my throat until he found my other breast. The skillful supple flicks of his tongue over my hardened nipple drove me insane.
Both of us were still halfway clothed. I toed my shoes until they fell and thudded to the floor, and then gripped his pockets. He gave a low chuckle, his warm breath prickling over my already heated skin. The tingling feeling in my stomach rose, but he didn't stop. Sitting up, he slid the back of his hand down my stomach to my jeans. Running his finger along the top, he released the button and then pulled the zipper down. My heart pattered when he stood at the end of the bed. I scanned his muscular chest, then upward to his face, and finally to his passion-filled eyes.
My legs would have gave had I been standing. He leaned down and slinked my jeans off. Hooking his fingers under my panties, his calloused fingers dug into my skin as he slipped the silk material down, leaving me fully exposed.
"God, you're beautiful." Tristan leaned over me, nothing but complete love emanating from his warm, golden eyes.
My lips quivered.
"Tristan." I cleared my throat. "I don't want to mess this up. I don't want to be disappointing. I haven't–"
"What?" He backed away, his intense eyes searching mine. "You couldn't–" He closed his eyes, exhaling sharply though his nose. "Didn't you and Green?" He didn't finish, opening his eyes.
I shook my head. "No," I whispered and looked away.
With his finger, he turned my face toward his.
"Elle, listen to me, we don't have to do this." I quirked a brow. He grinned. "Don't get me wrong, I want to. I've dreamt about this moment for as long as I can remember." He trailed his knuckles across my cheek. "I just thought… I mean, after I overheard you and Alyssa talking that night at the club."
"Stop." I held his face between my hands. "I want to. I've wanted this as long as you have. I only told you because I didn't want you to have expectations that I wouldn't be able to meet. So, don't stop."
Tilting my chin up, Tristan kissed me, tenderly.
"You could never disappoint me," he said, voice silky smooth.
I threaded my fingers in his thick locks, pulling him closer as he slid his hands down my thighs, gliding lower between my legs. I tensed, until his mouth left mine, moving his lips in a slow, torturous descent to where his fingers massaged the sensitive area between my legs.
The muscles in my stomach tightened. I moved my hands from his hair and fisted the sheets. My breathing hitched and my heart pounded until I felt a jerking spasm of pleasure.
"Tristan," I said, though the sound of his name leaving my lips resembled more of a moaning gasp. He laughed, kissing his way back up my overly sensitive body. "Are you trying to kill me?" I loved the feeling he brought me, but my body ached for more.
"I've waited to be with you, and I want to..." He stopped talking to nibble my ear. "I want to enjoy every part of this beautiful…" Kiss on the neck. "Sexy…" Another kiss, this time on my lips. "Incredibly, fucking hot body of yours before I make love to you."
His hot breath lingered over my lips as his eyes fixed with mine, causing my insides to flutter. It didn't matter how long it'd taken us to get to this point, because with every beat of my heart, I could never want any other man more than I wanted him.
I held his face between my hands, pulled him close and kissed him with abandon. I rocked my hips into him, but too quickly he pulled away. "What?" I stared at him in confusion.
"Protection."
I nodded and fell against the bed, stomach swarming with a mixture of excitement, fear, and nervousness. I closed my eyes and counted backwards from one hundred to keep calm. I'd reached ninety when I felt the mattress dip as Tristan's warm body meshed with mine. His soft lips glided over my skin, easing my trepidation.
He guided my legs open, and I tensed, not from not wanting him, but I didn't want to mess up, a little scared from the unknown.
"Elle, look at me." He stopped and peered down at me.
My body relaxed. The look in his eyes changed from tense to smoldering. He eased inside, and let out a quick gasp. He slowed his movements. There was a trace of pain, but not long after, satisfaction stifled the tenderness.
I'd heard of people having out of body experiences before, but this was like the opposite, being with him this way was so much more. My thighs tightened when he went deeper, my fingers digging into his back, pressing him closer.
"Elle."
I couldn't answer him. Opening my eyes, I saw the same hunger in his that I felt.
"Don't stop," I breathed in a raspy tone.
His lips found mine once again, but this time with more passion. I pressed against him, lifting my hips with his. His fingers dug into my skin as the rhythm became harder, faster. His breathing quickened. Our skin became hot and sticky. "Tristan, I want to feel this with you." Every part of my body burned, ached for his touch. He was my start and I wanted him to be with me when I finished.
"Oh my fucking God, Elle." His rough cry was followed by a gnarled sound, followed by deep throaty groan. I followed his moans with a whimper of pleasure, just as his body collapsed on mine.
Chapter 34
Tristan
The taste of her lips…the feel of her body pressed against mine…the sound of her quickened gasps…holy fuck, even the way she smelled brought me to a level of euphoria I'd never felt before. Life without her would be dull. She was my past, my present, my everything, and when the time came I'd make her my forever.
"I love you," I whispered against her smiling lips. Her eyes fell shut as she stretched her naked body, snuggling into my side, her legs wrapped with mine.
"I love you, too," she said, head resting on my chest.
"Get some sleep. We've got to head out early to get home." She didn't reply and a few seconds later, soft, purring noises ensued. I relaxed for what felt like the first time in years.
My eyes had finally closed when my cell went off. I jumped, and Elle stirred beside me. My phone continued to buzz somewhere on the floor. I did my best not to disturb her as I scooted out of my bed. I fumbled over my piled clothes until I found the pocket my phone rested in, yanking the annoying device out.
"Hello," I said, irritated.
"Hey, Tristan," Heather said.
Her timing sucked.
"Hey. What's up?" I swallowed, wondering why she called.
"I'm getting out of here tomorrow, and I'm gonna call Elle. I figured it'd be my Christmas present to her. What do you think?"
I was pleasantly surprised because, shit, it was about damn time she called Elle. "I'm glad you've decided to call her, but do you think…um, I mean you're good?"
"Yeah, I'm good. I've made lots of progress in group, and my counselor said as long as I stayed away from stressors, I'd be okay. She gave me a few NA addresses close to home along with her number if I needed anything." She cleared her throat.
Now I was really lost.
"Wait, what does NA mean?"
She laughed. "Sorry, the term means narcotics anonymous. Anyway, I talked to my mom earlier today about coming home, and my dad said he'd come here and we'd fly back home together tomorrow."
She sounded…I don’t know… off. I looked at Elle, resting peacefully in my bed and frowned. She'd be happy to see her sister, and possibly their dad, I just didn't have a good
feeling.
“It’s cool, you’re talking to your parents, and I know Elle will be happy to hear from you, but are you sure about your dad?" I didn't mean to be so skeptical, but I didn't want Heather getting upset if he didn't show, which is what he'd most likely do.
"Yes, he said he'd pick me up and we'd drive back home together. Isn't that great?"
I didn't have the heart to crush the hope she exuded. Hell, for all I knew he'd changed too and would actually show up.
"Yeah, that's great," I said, keeping up pretenses. "Your sister and I are driving up in the morning. We should be back home around ten or so."
"Okay, I'll call her around lunch then. Listen, I've got to get off the phone, but I just wanted to say thanks–for everything. I mean it." I heard her suck in a breath. "Wait, are y'all like together?"
I laughed, her excitement contagious. I really hoped their dad didn't fuck up, causing her to go off on another drug binge.
"Yeah," I chuckled, "we are. It just kind of happened tonight, actually. She's asleep right now, and I don't want to wake her." Elle shifted from her stomach to her back. The covers slipped, exposing her bare chest. Damn. I cleared my throat, looking away. "I'm glad you're better and I'll always be there for you. I'll talk to you in the morning."
"Okay, ‘night. Hey, Tristan?"
"Yeah?"
"Be good to my sister. She deserves a happy ending." I swallowed down the sudden, freak bundle of nerves before answering.
"Will do, kid. Don't forget to call tomorrow."
"Got it, now night…for real." I tossed my phone on the nightstand and went back to bed.
Once under the covers, Elle shivered, pressing against me. Her warm, naked body moved up and down. I swear to God she moved on purpose. My lower half responded, blood pumping at full force. She moaned, fueling my need to take her again.
"Tristan, what–" Elle's wandering hand… oh God. "Oh, um…good morning?" I looked down at her shock-filled eyes. Had the lights been on, her cheeks would've been covered in crimson. She squirmed, unsure, and slid her hand away from me, the opposite of where she needed to be.
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