He regrets that he didn’t make more of an effort to get to know his godparents when he had the chance, and to share some of his life with them while growing up. ‘When I went back home and for years afterwards, I don’t think I ever remembered them or rang them. I just went on my merry little way. And I never called them, never said anything to them, and then my godmother died. I found out she’d followed my career and kept things about me, and had prayed for me every night of her life.’
When he finally did come home to live, things still weren’t easy in the Jackman household. There was the darkness surrounding his mother’s condition and also the high standards set by his vehemently English father. It was a tough time for all the kids. Growing up, Hugh made lots of friends but many of them often refused to come over to his house, disliking the strictness of his father. Hugh’s best mate, Gus Worland, who is today still his closest friend, was one of the few that didn’t mind the sternness. He did, however, find it bizarre when Hugh’s father would suddenly shout, ‘Who’s for elevenses?’ and then serve up flambéed crêpes Suzettes when all the children really wanted was ice-cream and lemonade.
Aside from his less-than-normal childhood, though, Hugh enjoyed an active life, spending much of his time on the beach, playing, relaxing and exploring the shoreline, although some of his games were quite peculiar. ‘I find it kind of scary because I know what I was like when I was a kid. I used to feed my action figures to the squids that were off the bay I lived near – I tore off their arms, stuck them with pins and did other awful things to them.’ He’s still not sure if there was some deep hidden meaning to his strange behaviour, or if it was just regular boy behaviour.
At home he staged magic shows and dancing competitions for his brothers and sisters. Hugh’s siblings weren’t sure if it was just youngest-child syndrome or if this was his way of shutting out the reality of what was going on around them. His sister Sonya has described her little brother as determined to get noticed, while his brother Ian said, ‘I don’t think we were vying for attention, but Hugh was the youngest of five children, so it’s only natural he might have felt a need to express himself more loudly than some of the rest of us, perhaps.’
When Hugh was eight, life in the Jackson household took an even worse turn. One morning, his mother kissed him goodbye before he left for school. When he returned home later that day, she was gone. He knew right away something was wrong. When the rest of the family arrived home later that evening, Hugh told his father that he thought his mother had gone back to England. His father went mad and sent him to bed, but later came up to apologise after finding a note from his wife informing them all that she had decided to return home to spend time with her mother, who was very ill. Even with all the arguing and shouting between the couple prior to their mother’s departure, the children thought she was just playing a stunt to get back at their dad, and naively believed she would turn up all smiles and they would suddenly become a normal family again. However, Chris now knew that any signs of normality for them all were just a distant memory.
As expected, the family was devastated. The period of misery following his mother going away is forever seared in Hugh’s memory. For a long time after his mother had gone, Hugh wouldn’t even go into the house alone after school. He would play outside by himself until one of his brothers or sisters came home.
Hugh and his next oldest brother fought like cats and dogs all the time. ‘It was survival of the fittest and I was the smallest. My older brother Ralph used to bully me and one day I chucked a chair at him. It smashed and I picked up the bottom of the chair and swung it at him. He was taunting me and I thought, I’m going to have to kill him because if I just knock him out he’s gonna wake up and then he’s going to kill me.’
Outside the madness of home life, Hugh felt more exposed than ever. Divorce wasn’t new to the area. Lots of couples split up, but it was the father who usually left and normally he lived right around the corner and saw the kids on weekends. There was a lot of attention and sympathy given to Hugh and his siblings from concerned people that made him feel like a leper. He hated it as much as he hated benevolent teachers and other parents always staring, pointing or being overly nice.
‘I had some very dark periods as a child,’ he admitted. ‘I wanted Mum to come back, partly because I felt everyone stared at us. I felt like we were abnormal and weird, and I desperately wanted to be normal.’
A year after his mother left, out of the blue she returned, but only for a brief visit. She soon went back to England once again, leaving her children more confused than ever. After about two years she re-married and had a daughter. Hugh thought this would be the last he would see of her in Australia, but when he was twelve, she came back again. For a while his parents tried their best to reconcile. The children were of course over the moon and extremely pleased to be a family again. Hugh finally felt like the hole inside him had been repaired; he was complete. He had prayed every night to be a normal family again and now his prayers had been answered. For the first time in ages, he couldn’t wait to tell everyone the great news that the Jackmans were just the same as every other family he knew.
Regretfully, the reconciliation proved short-lived when after only a few weeks Grace upped and left again, this time never to return. It was then the realisation that his mother and father would never be together for good hit home.
‘As a kid it’s hard to figure out how your parents don’t love each other any more,’ Hugh has said. Yet he later admitted that only when he was in a relationship that failed did he fully appreciate and understand how it must have felt for his parents. ‘Looking back now, my parents were probably not suited to be together, they were completely different in too many ways.’
And he was more disillusioned and angry than ever when his mother left for the last time. It wasn’t easy, especially as he was entering his teenage years. He claimed the loss manifested itself in anger and rebellion. ‘High school was tough. I was bullied and probably did some bullying myself. I didn’t take to authority at all – I was bit of a smart-arse for a while.’ The teachers at his all-boys private school took pity on him, but it seemed to have a negative effect because he got into more trouble, rebelling against everything and everyone for a short time. While playing sport, he turned his anger to his advantage: ‘Playing rugby when I was young, if I got tackled very hard, I would kind of go into a little white rage, a bit of uncontrolled violence, often getting into trouble or sent from the field to cool down.’
Hugh also started to look for excitement in other more dangerous forms. He and his mates would go to a place in Sydney called Warriewood Blowhole, where they would jump off an 80ft cliff into the water, swim through a cave which led to a blowhole, and then let the waves wash them up onto a mound of mossy rocks. Although thrilling for a young boy, it was also ridiculously dangerous. He didn’t realise just how perilous it was until years later, when he returned with his own son and saw the memorials left to all those people who had perished doing the same stunt.
His home situation only made him more determined in everything he did. He wasn’t sure if that determination came from being the youngest of five and needing to survive in a household full of kids or from wanting others not to feel sorry for him.
Over time, the anger that burnt deep inside the teenager began to dissipate as Jackman started to draw great strength from his father, who struggled to bring up the clan single-handedly through discipline and hand-me-downs. The respect Hugh has for his father is evident every time he mentions his name. ‘The main thing I love about my dad is I’ve never heard him say a bad word about anybody, including my mum. The temptation must have been huge. I love that quality about him.’
It was apparent Chris had put his entire life on hold for the kids; they came first, second and third in all his thoughts and actions. ‘What really amazes me now that I am older and can see things really clearly, is that for 10 years that man did not have a private moment,’ he recalled. ‘I mean, there’s a wh
ole decade there of supreme effort, just this non-stop commitment to his kids. He cooked, cleaned, shopped, got us dressed, got us off to school, and on weekends he’d go to five different sporting games, stay twenty minutes at each one, and race off to the next one because he didn’t want any one of us to feel left out. Then this hard-working man got four weeks off every year and took us camping. So there he was with five kids in the tent, one little gas stove, all squashed in together. We kids absolutely loved it, but looking back now, I realise it wasn’t a holiday for him.’
Even to this day, he doesn’t know how his father managed to keep it all together and still have the time to come and cheer him on at sporting events. ‘There’s still a little boy in me that loves to have Dad there. Maybe that’s what this acting thing is, me calling out, “Dad, Dad!”’
On the odd occasions when his father had to travel for work, the kids stayed with family and friends. His dad would drop them off along with a huge crate of food. Some people felt sorry for the children, but Hugh loved it. Not only did he get to stay with his friends, but he could escape the regime of his life at home. ‘We’d be rostered on jobs to do each day or week. There would be emptying and stacking the dishwasher, ironing, cleaning and everything else.’ His dad had all their meals mapped out for the whole week because he only had one morning to do the shopping.
On top of being a stickler for order and structure, Hugh’s father was a real idealist whose priority was getting his kids to learn. If Hugh asked for a pair of Nikes when he was growing up, he got a resounding ‘No’ and was told to go get a job and buy them himself. But if he, or any of the other children for that matter, asked for a saxophone or other musical instrument, one would appear the next day, along with a schedule of lessons. During this time, Hugh learnt to play piano; he also studied guitar and violin. For anything that was to do with education or learning, his father spared no expense; any other fripperies had to be earned. Thus a strong work ethic was nurtured in the children and Hugh’s earliest ambition was to follow in his father’s footsteps and become an accountant: ‘I wanted his job. He had such a calm power about him when he was at work, and he had a secretary.’
Chris Jackman’s parenting yielded a remarkable crop of adults. Ian became a Rhodes Scholar and is a Sydney barrister; Zoe became an accountant, living in England. (Hugh once said about her: ‘She said, “I’ll never marry one, I’ll never be one.” She did both!’) Sonya works as a stage actor in England and Ralph reported on sport for ABC TV in Perth until he changed careers.
Chris eventually remarried, just as Hugh was finishing high school. Hugh found it strange, after being raised on a strict diet of chores and self-reliance, to suddenly have his new stepmother, Elizabeth, around the house. It was a delight in many ways, because she was very easy to talk to and she spoiled him rotten. He remembered her saying things like, ‘If you just put your washing out, I’ll take care of it.’ He thought, ‘Wow, how cool is this?’
Although it was nice to have a ‘new’ mother about, when Hugh hit his teens he began to long to see his real mother. From the age of fourteen, he travelled to England once a year to visit her on what was called the ‘milk run’. This was a cheap airline ticket that stopped at several different locations before landing in London. It took forever, but it was during these visits that Hugh finally made peace with his mother and came to terms with their situation. He now maintains that he has a great relationship with her, and even identifies with her slightly mercurial nature. ‘I have always been fairly understanding of that situation. I am not going to say it was the easiest of times for me, or the family. Mum and I have come to a peaceful place with it. We got through the hard times and resolved things finally. I’ve always been close to her and never felt angry at her, which I can’t explain, and which some people find hard to understand.’
Obviously a parent leaving in such a manner must have a lasting effect on a child and Hugh believes the experience affected him subconsciously later on in life, especially in the movie-making business. ‘Some people find it hard to finish and let go. Not me. I move right on to the next thing, and that’s probably a defence from when my mum came to visit and dropped in and out of my life. I had to learn to enjoy her when she was there and get used to the fact that it wasn’t permanent. It’s ultimately not such a bad quality to have, because nothing really is permanent, is it?’
‘I am immensely proud of Hugh and all he has achieved. I stayed in regular contact with him over the years and we are now really great friends. I have watched all his films and I am delighted the way things have turned out. He had great presence even as a young boy. Everybody has always loved Hugh.’
Grace Jackman
CHAPTER TWO
Chicken Legs
Like most of the kids who lived in the wealthy liberal heartland of Wahroonga, Hugh was privileged enough to attend private school. The Australian education system is one of the best, ranking in the top ten on a worldwide scale, year on year. Pymble Public School, the primary school that Hugh attended, prides itself on being a leader in education. For Jackman it was a wonderful place to begin his schooling and, more importantly, a great environment in which to learn about life. The teachers were extremely focused and the classes small enough to allow individual students to flourish.
Even though Hugh’s home life was in turmoil, he worked hard in class and seemed to progress well in most subjects. He is remembered as a model student with very good manners, who was always polite to members of staff.
It was at the age of five that he first appeared on stage, in Camelot, and he continued to perform through a string of musicals and plays. At the primary school, pupils were strongly encouraged to both contribute to official productions and to put on their own shows. This suited Hugh’s creative talent and gave him an escape from the reality of his personal life. He looked and felt at home on the stage regardless of what he had to do or in front of whom he had to perform. ‘If I look back, I don’t remember why, but I remember when I was about six and there was a group singing. I was the one who was brought out to sing the lead part and I don’t think that I was a great singer or anything.’
Around the age of nine, like most developing young males, he started to take an interest in the opposite sex – and if rumours are to be believed, girls also began to take notice of the skinny, good-looking boy. He juggled his fledgling love life between several of them at the same time, even kissing one little girl behind the back of another. It earned young Jackman the reputation of being something of a love rat, in complete contrast to the devoted partner he is today.
In his young and naive mind, Hugh thought that if he didn’t get to kiss a girl before he transferred from Pymble Primary to an all-boys school, he wouldn’t have the chance to do so for a long time. So, on good advice from a friend, who had assured him that a girl called Sarah was something of a sure thing in the ‘handing out free kisses’ department, he decided to see if he could break his duck.
Hugh spent an entire week building up enough courage to approach the cute girl, and one day during lunch break, he finally slid up next to her in the playground and told her, ‘I want you to know I love you.’ Later he admitted he wasn’t sure where he had plucked the well-used line from, especially at such a young and tender age, but to his great surprise Sarah informed him that she loved him too. A nervous but extremely excited Jackman then suggested they go down to the cricket field and into the bushes. A very bold move indeed for the inexperienced Christian boy, especially since he had already committed himself to a girl called Martine.
Sarah agreed, and hand-in-hand they marched into the long grass, where a young Jackman puckered up his lips and had his first snog. Afterwards, while walking home, he told his mate that he really didn’t know what all the fuss was about!
Sarah, who is now married and the mother of two children, still remembers the kiss, but insists Hugh was no match for her husband. ‘I can tell you, my husband is a much better kisser than the Sexiest Man Alive!’ she laughed.
She further revealed that she and Hugh dated for a couple of terms after dancing together to the soundtrack of Grease in dance meetings held before school. ‘There was a group of us that would meet every morning and dance to Grease. He was my partner and I think that’s where it blossomed. I was his girlfriend for nearly the whole year, but then when I left at the end of Year Four, he dumped me for Nikki. And that was that.’
Another classmate, Martine Bruce, was one girl who didn’t succumb to the handsome smile and charm of the schoolboy Hugh. She remembered the time when she turned down the advances of the boy destined for stardom after he kept chasing her around the playground, trying to kiss her. Meanwhile, Hugh recalled picking Martine up after she fell in a running race at primary school. ‘My dad said, “Oh, I always knew you were romantic because you were running in a race and Martine fell over, and you stopped and went back and picked her up.”’
Martine remembered the young Jackman having a crush on her and often writing her love letters or appearing in her street to throw rocks at her roof to get her attention: ‘I wouldn’t come out, I would hide from him.’
Yet Hugh didn’t really discover what the female form was like until he and his friend Scott Whitehead found a couple of copies of Penthouse magazine under Scott’s older brother’s bed. Hugh was shocked, and although he was drawn to the images on the pages, he was afraid of what his religious father would say if he found out his son was ogling the naked girls. In fact, Jackman later admitted that one of the reasons why he didn’t lose his virginity until he was around eighteen was because of the fear that his father would find out, or that he might be struck down by the hand of God.
Hugh Jackman Page 2
