Jaz saw that they were headed toward downtown. “Are we going to his office?”
“No.”
“Not his house because I don’t want to go there now.” She hadn’t meant to put the emphasis on that last word. Resentment slipped out.
“The place is somewhere Mr. Donnelly enjoys, and he said you do also.”
She frowned. “Are you his godfather?”
Niles’s eyes widened. “No, ma’am. I thought it was clear. I’m his chauffeur, nothing more. Well I do care about Mr. Donnelly. He’s not the happiest of men, but no, we have no connection other than employer and employee.”
So Torrian had lied.
The place turned out to be the sandwich shop they had discussed both liking downtown, a restaurant called These Words. When Niles held the door open for her and she walked inside, Jaz took the stairs up and discovered the place was empty except for the owner and Torrian.
An ache so powerful, she almost stumbled caused her to reach her hand out to a chair. Torrian stood as soon as he saw her, his gaze locked on her face. She deliberately looked away from him. “Kenzie, it’s good to see you again.”
The woman smiled and handed her a fruit smoothie. Jaz used to order them whenever she came downtown and visited the shop. “It’s good to see you again, Jaz.”
Jaz’s eyes widened. “You remember me?”
“Of course. You’re a woman after my own heart, with a love for those less fortunate.”
Now Jaz recalled they had discussed the solicitation ordinance in Boston and what it meant for the homeless. She felt bad that she’d forgotten, but it felt good that Kenzie hadn’t. Kenzie asked if they’d like something to eat, but both declined.
“You two take your time,” Kenzie said, pushing Jaz toward Torrian. “The place is yours.”
Jaz’s mouth fell open. “You don’t have any other customers?”
The woman shrugged and winked. “Sometimes, special customers rent out the whole restaurant.”
Jaz frowned. The news only reinforced Torrian’s duplicity, and her anger rose. She felt no more need to put off talking to him and approached the table. Torrian reached for her hand. “I’m glad you came.”
“Don’t,” she bit out.
He froze. “Jazara, I—”
“Were you slumming, Torrian?”
His expression showed confusion. She dropped into the seat across from him for the simple fact that her legs refused to carry her any longer and set her glass down.
“Sleeping with someone beneath your social status just for…well, I’m not sure of your reasons. Because you didn’t have to make a commitment? Because it turns you on to sleep with the hired help? Take your pick.”
She saw a flash of anger in his eyes, but he quelled it. “You don’t work for me, Jazara, so that last part would hardly apply, and I think you know me better than to believe I was just using you.”
“I know you better?” She gave a hallow laugh. “I don’t know you at all. You kept your life from me. Maybe I wasn’t good enough to know.”
“Stop!” He grabbed her hand. She snatched at it, but he wouldn’t let go. “That’s not true.”
To her disgust, tears welled in her eyes. She blinked them away and turned her head. Torrian stroked her hand, weakening her. “Please,” she begged, and he released her with reluctance. She clutched her hands in her lap. “Why didn’t you tell me about yourself, Torrian?”
“Would you have kept seeing me if I did?”
“Why would you think I wouldn’t?”
They were both silent.
“I don’t like reporters outside my apartment. I don’t like being in the paper. I want attention to my charity work not to me and my personal life.”
This time she thought she saw pain, but when she blinked and examined his face, she got back a blank stare.
“The gift to the center was from you, wasn’t it?”
“It was,” he confirmed.
“You could have purchased the building straight out.”
“If that’s what you want, I’ll do it and hand it over to the community’s control.”
Her fingers spasmed. She drew in a sharp breath and blew it out. “Is Niles your godfather?”
He paled. “Jazara, I’m sorry.”
She held up a hand. “I seriously don’t know what to think. I’m in shock, confused, scared, and so hurt I can barely breathe. It’s not like you cheated on me, but… I need time to think about this, Torrian. Please understand.”
“I do.” She heard no emotion in his tone. “Tell me when I can call you.”
She took her time standing in case she fell on the floor and cried like a fool. “I might call you. As of right now, I don’t know if I will. I guess you can consider us broken up.”
He jumped to his feet. “Jazara, not like this.”
She turned away and walked across the restaurant and down the stairs. Looking back would ensnare her in the emotions that swirled out of control in her heart, so she kept moving on out the door.
“Ms. Crane, would you like me to take you home?” Niles asked as he shuffled from the car.
“No, thank you. Have a nice day, Niles.” She might have infused her tone with politeness, but deep inside was a ball of pain. She hurried away from him and from the restaurant where she had left Torrian. A large part of her said go back and accept his words, but the self-preservation part said keep it moving. Don’t look back. She obeyed and was soon on a bus, headed to the center, where she stood on solid ground.
Chapter Twelve
Halloween again…
Jaz wore the costume she wanted to wear the year before, pale skin, blood dripping from a mouth that extended black like a cavern from her chin to her throat. Nothing she wore to tonight’s party could be considered sexy, and as a result the men cringed when they looked directly at her. She found it amusing, but she’d already worked her magic gaining donations. In addition, even though she hadn’t said one way or another what she wanted him to do, Torrian had purchased the community-center building and turned it over to the board that governed the place.
Every day they had been apart, she questioned herself as to whether she should call. Then doubts surfaced. They had been together for months, yet she didn’t know the real him. Part of her anger and hurt was because of him basically sneaking in and out of the area like she was some sordid secret that needed to stay hidden. The other part was her own shame that she hadn’t thought enough of herself to make him open up long before he was “caught.”
So day after day had passed, and after a while, she told herself it was too late to call. He must have moved on. Spring turned to summer and summer to fall again. Now, she stood in the center, watching the Halloween party go on around her and not enjoying it at all. If only to herself, she admitted she’d hoped he would come. The hour neared midnight, and she hadn’t seen him.
“Jaz.”
She turned to find her sister coming up behind her. Yasmine wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. They touched cheeks, and Jaz’s happiness level rose a bit. After initial awkwardness between them, she and Yasmine had become closer. Yasmine looked like she was getting over her disgusting husband and seeing him for what he was—a loser who didn’t deserve her heart.
“No show?” Yasmine asked, walking by her side.
Jaz schooled her face. “I told you, that’s in the past. I’m over it. This party is for the people in the community and for raising awareness for the center itself.”
“Save the spiel, girl. I know you. You hoped he would show up. Why don’t you call him?”
“I can’t. It’s too late.”
“Not if he was hung up on you like you are him.”
“That’s the million dollar question.”
“The answer to which you won’t—”
“Stop.”
Yasmine sighed. “Okay, fine. Let’s herd these monsters together and end this thing.”
Jaz agreed. They led the unmasking, and all the usual f
aces grinned back her in the crowd. Not that she hadn’t already recognized them all. A couple new ones who had just moved to the area were there, but as she already found out, no Torrian. The cleanup crew started their thing. The partiers drifted through the doors to go home or wherever they chose to go, and Jaz went to grab the plates she had fixed for her parents from the kitchen.
“Yasmine, you and your people have this?” Jaz asked.
“We got it. You go ahead. Tell Mom and Dad I’ll bring the kids around on Tuesday.”
“Got you. Okay, good night. Love you.” Jaz kissed her cheek, and Yasmine hugged her.
“Love you, too. Take Rhashon with you.”
Jaz rolled her eyes and slipped out. She knew her brother was all over the woman he had been seeing for a while now. Rhashon wouldn’t know she’d gone before tomorrow, and then he would lecture her, and she would ignore him. She wrapped up the visit to her parents quickly, and when she stepped back outside, memory of Torrian waiting for her in the cold came to mind. She pulled the collar of her jacket higher and tucked her chin close to her chest. Soon, she arrived at her apartment and let herself inside. The little place had never felt so lonely. How had he made it come to life in such a short time together? Why had she given so much of herself in that same period?
She stilled in the center of her living room and stared into the corner. The table she had moved into her bedroom to make room for the Christmas tree was back in its place. Atop it sat a small statue of an angel. She wasn’t into angels or any other religious carvings, but she supposed it was a Catholic thing for Torrian. The angel had been one of his gifts. She had kept it, as she had everything he had given her last Christmas.
Sinking to the carpet in front of the table, she reached fingers out to the angel. The cool surface gave her no connection to Torrian, and she realized tears spilled down her cheeks. On some level, she had been hoping to see him, proof that he cared and hadn’t just been using her. Who the heck knew how him coming to the Halloween party would have been proof, but kneeling alone in her apartment, she accepted that she’d been thinking it.
“Guess I’m the idiot,” she mumbled.
After a few moments, she decided the day was a wash and all hope gone. She wasn’t going to call, and neither would Torrian. The end. With a shower, she washed away the last of the costume makeup she’d started to remove at the bathroom sink. Then she dried off and threw on an old nightie. Dosing on sleeping pills, she climbed into bed and under the covers. Tomorrow, she planned to turn over a new leaf and get on with her life. She would reclaim the bouncy, joyful exuberance she liked to display and shake off the depression. She might even meet a new man, one on her financial level and from her world. Love existed in endless supply, and she would claim some for her own.
* * * *
Jaz stepped out of bed groggy and annoyed. She stumbled through a shower and brushed her teeth. Today was her day off, but she wanted to get laundry done and clean up her apartment. For the last few months, she had been trying recipes out of the cookbook Torrian had given her for Christmas, and she needed to go to the market to buy supplies for a new dish.
When the bell rang at ten in the morning, her foul mood hadn’t lessened, and she vowed to tell Glenda where to go if it was her. She would just slam the door in the face of anyone else, especially if it was a solicitor. “Okay, I’m probably not going slam the door in their face,” she mumbled to herself as she left the bedroom and the piles of clothes she had been sorting.
A peer through the peephole made her freeze, and the man on the other side rang the bell again. She swallowed and straightened. He rang again, then knocked. When she had gathered her nerves, she unlocked and opened the door. “What are you doing here?”
“Ms. Crane, I don’t know if you remember me.”
“Niles, of course, I remember you. It hasn’t been that long.”
“To some it has,” he said, and she wondered what he meant. “Pardon me for showing up unannounced. Do you mind if I come in?”
She peered past him to the BMW parked on the street.
“Mr. Donnelly doesn’t know I’m here.”
She blinked at him, but curiosity got the better of her, and she stepped back to let him pass. When Niles moved into her living room, she cursed herself for not starting with the cleaning instead of the laundry. There were clothes she hadn’t gathered here and a takeout container she hadn’t thrown away because her habit wasn’t completely broken.
“Um,” she said, trying to cover her embarrassment.
Niles got right to the point. He pulled a cream-colored envelope from his jacket pocket. “I brought you this. As I said, Mr. Donnelly doesn’t know about it, but I’m used to doing whatever I feel is right, especially when it comes to him.”
Jaz hesitated to extend her hand, but again, she couldn’t resist. “What is this?”
She opened the envelope to find a fancy invitation to a Halloween ball, one that would take place that night. Her eyes widened, and she looked up at Niles for an explanation.
“That’s a charity ball. They have it every year. Mr. Donnelly feels an obligation to go, but… Well, he’ll be there tonight. I think you should go.”
“Why should I?” She frowned when she wanted to remain indifferent. “We’re not together.”
“I know only what he chose to share with me, which wasn’t much. I had the feeling from what he said that you cared about him. I’m sure of Mr. Donnelly’s feelings for you.”
“Me, too. He has none.”
Niles produced a business card. “This is a costume shop where you can get something appropriate. If you give them Mr. Donnelly’s name, all of your expenses will be taken care of.”
Jaz folded her arms under her breasts and didn’t even touch the card. “If I were fool enough to go to the party, I can dress myself. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have my Saturday chores to handle. Thanks.”
Niles offered her a kind smile despite her anger and dismissal. He tucked the card into the crook of her arm. “Just in case. This is for him and for you.”
“Of all the arrogant…” she muttered as he strode out the door. Jaz didn’t quite slam it, but she willed all her annoyance into the thump as she shut the door and the twist in her wrist as she locked it. Then for the next three hours, she did nothing but sit on the couch and stare at the invitation and the costume-shop card.
Why did Niles arrange for an invitation for her? Why did he come and not Torrian? Most importantly, why was she now thinking of going when she had put the man out of her head if not her heart?
* * * *
The white stone building’s windows were massive and extended from almost the rooftop to the ground. Square pillars of stone supported it all, and as Jaz stood on the drive leading the building’s entrance, she caught a glimpse of the varied costumes the guests wore. Most from what she could see were quality and had obviously cost a small fortune to buy. She on the other hand had dressed as a sweet angel. The costume although not original or expensive, it was at least paid for with her own money. The long white dress, which reached her ankles, opened at her upper thigh with a long slit and showed off both her legs whenever she moved. Cut low at the bustline, the dress showed off her cleavage, and her breasts actually appeared bigger because of the gathering folds of material around them. The fluffy wings had to hook on with straps around her arms, but they allowed a generous peek at her back, bare from her neck to just above her butt crack. On her feet, she wore silver heels, and the final touch was the white-and-gold mask hiding her identity.
Jaz stepped toward the curving stairs leading to the entrance. She drew in a deep breath and steadied herself with a hand on the railing. Maybe she should have taken her brother up on his offer to escort her. No, she wasn’t a coward. She had decided to come. Now this was it.
The room where the partygoers congregated stole her breath. The place was huge. One could get tired walking from one end to the other, or at least winded in heels. Chandeliers hung from the ceili
ng. Tapestries and landscapes graced the walls. Long tables held platter after platter of fancy foods, and waiters patrolled with trays of what she assumed was champagne or wine.
The women in the room ranged from sleazy costumed to fancy and stuffy. Fewer of the men were costumed, but most wore simple black masks that covered only their eyes. Everyone seemed to be having a good time as they laughed. No one danced even though music played. Not the “Monster Mash” or “Thriller,” she noted, but more sedate melodies. So this was Torrian’s world?
Jaz took a moment to realize someone began to speak into a microphone, so focused as she was with the display before her. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” the speaker intoned. “I want to thank everyone for coming out tonight to support our annual Halloween gala. We especially want to thank our biggest sponsor Mr. Lochlan O’Brien. Of course, as usual Mr. O’Brien can’t be here tonight, so in his place accepting the gift of appreciation will be his godson, the very eligible Mr. Torrian Donnelly.”
Jaz froze in the act of accepting a glass of champagne. She found the presence of mind to look toward the stage, and there he was. Dressed in a black tuxedo and a black mask similar to the other men in the room—but sticking out way beyond the crowd—was her former lover. He looked as good as the last time she’d seen him, and she imagined he even smelled the same, felt the same, tasted the same.
She licked her lips and took a step backward to melt more into the crowd. The glass she held trembled a little, and she steadied both her hand and her backbone.
“Damn it,” one of the biddies next to Jaz whispered a bit too loudly to her companion, “I said this year I would be the name at the top of the list!”
“Well, when you give as much as he did to the cause, Olivia, you will be,” the other woman shot back with a catty tone to her voice.
“What cause?” Olivia asked, and the other woman waved a hand.
“Whichever one we’re supporting this year. If they announce it earlier, we can make sure we write a bigger check. We’ll have to discuss it with the coordinator. What was her name?”
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