by J. J. Massa
He wrapped his arms around her waist and she wrapped her arms around his head.
Tracey watched the two with tears running down her own face. I need a box of tissue and a box of chocolate, stat!
“I still miss them, Ashley, but maybe…” Tracey could barely hear what Tav was saying, muffled by Ashley’s body. She leaned back and put her hands on either side of his face.
He spoke again, his voice choked with unshed tears. “Maybe God decided somebody else needed me to love them more. I know He’s looking after Tate and his Mommy now.”
Ashley took a deep, shuddering breath and nodded. When the child went in to wash her face, brush her teeth and gather her books, Tracey stood.
Tav was sitting on the edge of the porch looking off into the trees. Carefully, she approached him and squatted behind him, placing her hand on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Tavist,” she whispered.
He laid his cheek on the hand that gripped his shoulder. She thought she felt a little moisture there but she couldn’t be sure. To lose a child… it was something she just couldn’t even think about without dying a little inside. Her heart ached for Tavist and all he had endured. Emotions welled within her that she couldn’t dwell on. Tavist Darke was wreaking havoc on her senses.
The moment was broken when Ashley came out and demanded, “Okay, which one of you is gonna be walking me to the bus stop?” Tav laughed. “I guess that’s me, huh?” He winked at Ashley. “If that’s the price for having breakfast with two such pretty ladies, I’ll pay up.” He quickly downed the rest of his coffee and stood. Truthfully, he needed to move a little and get his mind past the conversation the three of them had just had.
He kept his focus completely on Ashley as they headed down the dirt road that would lead them to the bus stop. She slipped her hand into his and smiled shyly up at him.
“I met a wolf outside last night, Tav,” she confided. “He looked big and mean but he wasn’t.”
He looked at her and arched a brow, but said nothing.
“Did you ever meet any wolves?” she asked him.
“All my friends are wolves, Ashley. They all look big and mean but they aren’t.”
“Do they ever get mean?” she wanted to know.
“They do,” he nodded solemnly. Her eyes were round as she regarded him.
“When?” she breathed.
“Whenever they find out somebody hit a little girl or her brothers or her mother.”
She grinned. “I’d like to meet more of your friends, Tav.”
As they passed the nearly invisible drive that led to his house, Tav stopped. Pointing, he told Ashley, “That’s the road to my house. If you go out your back door, you can walk right up to my back door—it’s a straight line.”
“Okay, Tav,” she dimpled up at him. “Tav?” she said hesitantly, as they resumed their journey.
“Yes, Ashley?” he responded, looking down at her.
“Did I make you sad by asking you about your little boy and his mommy?” Her little hand trembled in his but she bravely hung on.
“No, you didn’t make me upset. I miss them because I loved them and they aren’t here anymore. I’d miss them even if nobody ever asked. I can miss the people I love and still be okay.” He hoped he said the right things. Am I way out of my league here?
“Do you think you could ever love any other mommy and—and kids?” she asked after a minute of quiet.
“I’m pretty sure I could, Ashley,” he smiled at her.
Leaning down, he gave her a quick hug as the bus pulled to a stop. He watched her board the bus and turn and wave before the door closed. His heart felt like a wrung out dishrag.
On the way back to Tracey’s house, he stopped at home and called Mik Montgomery. Mik was the closest thing he’d had to a father since his own parents had been killed when he was a young pup. He’d met Mik when the renegade werewolf, August Livingston, had attacked his daughter-in-law, Bethany, and her pups.
She’d decided to hide out in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Tav had caught up with her there and stayed in wolf form to help her. Mik, the pups’ grandfather, had shown up within days and stayed with them.
Mik Montgomery was the only Were that Tav could ever consider his Alpha. His sons, Riker, a famous actor and Bethany’s mate, and Lakon a famous singer now mated to Mya, were two of his best friends. In fact they were like brothers to him. He’d stepped in to help on separate occasions when Auggie took Bethany and later when Mya was attacked.
Right now, though, he didn’t need a brother, he needed a dad.
“Hi Elke, it’s Tav,” he said when she answered the phone.
“Tavist!” she squealed. She made him feel so welcome. If Mik wasn’t at home, he’d talk to her. “How are you, son?
“I’m okay, I guess, Elke. Not bad at all. You okay?” Sometimes he wasn’t sure what to say.
“I’m fine—busy planning for my new grandbabies. Oh! Here’s Mik. He wants to talk to you. I love you, son.” She was gone before he could answer.
“Hey, Tav.” He heard the talking-in-a-barrel sound of being placed on speakerphone. “Everything okay?”
Mik’s deep, rough baritone made him feel like a pup again, safe in his family’s den. He took a deep breath.
“Mik, I think I found my second mate and she’s got three little kids.” Elke’s squeal in the background brought a smile to his face.
“More grandbabies and I don’t have to wait!” she crowed.
“Elke!” Mik growled impatiently, “I’m in the middle of a conversation here, Love!”
You just can’t end a sentence with the word “love” and sound firm, you just can’t. “I’ll leave,” he heard Elke say. “Tavist, you’d better let me know the very minute I can come and start spoiling those children. Do you hear me, young man?” Tav laughed.
“I promise, Elke. The very second.”
“Three grandbabies! You’re my favorite,” she swore. “I’m going, I’m going.”
Mik rumbled a growl at her but he didn’t sound all that menacing. “What’s wrong son? You didn’t just call to get your mother all worked up, did you?” Tav loved when they forgot that he wasn’t really their pup.
“She’s a human and the kids are human. Her ex beat the shit out of all of ‘em, repeatedly—except maybe the three-year-old. I’m not even sure about that.”
“Where’d you say this man is now?” Mik asked carefully.
“He’s in jail, Mik. If he wasn’t, he’d already be dead.”
“Another human in the family, huh? There’ll be a whole bunch of humans in the family. I bet you boys are drawn to human mates because of the extra wolf on my side,” Mik mused.
“Mik,” Tav said quietly, “I don’t have the extra wolf, remember?”
“You feel so much like my own son, boy, I just forget sometimes.”
He could hear Mik’s smile. Tav was grinning like a fool. Mik always knew what to say to make him feel stronger.
“Son, I know it’s scary and it’s hard since you’ve lost two families already. Don’t forget that we’re all here for you. You have a very big family now and we’ll welcome your mate and her children. You can do this, Tav.” Mik really did know just what to say.
“Thanks, Mik. I think I’m ready to gird up again and jump back into the fray,” he tried to sound flippant but he knew he probably failed.
“Hey, Tav?” Mik rumbled. “So far, you’re my favorite, too. Don’t make me come down there and teach you what you already know. You need help, you ask for it, you hear?”
“Yes, sir,” Tav chuckled.
They said their good-byes and hung up the phone.
Chapter 5
When Tav got back to Tracey’s house, Jacob and Christopher were out of bed. Both boys seemed especially glad to see him. Tracey decided to invite him inside.
“Tav!” Jacob rushed up and hugged him. Quickly, he jerked back and stuck his hand out.
“Men who are very good friends hu
g each other sometimes, Jacob,” Tav told him, standing up with him in a big, rollicking bear hug.
Not one to stand for being left out, Christopher joined in on the hugging action. Soon, the three of them were rolling around on the living room floor accompanied by loud squealing and laughing.
Finally, when Tracey began to worry about possible injuries, the three of them put their heads together and began whispering. She wasn’t sure if that didn’t make her even more nervous.
“Me, too, me, too?” pleaded little Christopher.
“Of course you, too!” said Jacob in exasperation. “You can hold the nails and help tie the knots.”
“Is somebody going to let me in on the secret?” asked Tracey, archly.
“We’d like to make a swing on the giant tree out back. It’s perfect. C’mon, we’ll show you.” Tav had leaned in close to talk to her, causing her heartbeat to take off.
The boys were chattering excitedly and she even heard Tav’s voice a time or two but Tracey’s attention was riveted elsewhere. Tav had placed his hand in the small of her back as they left the house.
He’d taken her hand going down the stairs and then dropped it as they’d approached the tree. He’d squeezed her shoulder lightly to emphasize a point and now he was chuckling at her.
“Wool gathering, West?” he laughed, sliding his arm around her in a hug.
Dropping his arm quickly, he stepped over to the tree and squatted.
“This big root here will let Christopher step up so he can get on the swing easier.” He repeated his earlier statement.
She looked at him quizzically for a minute. “I know you have an image in your mind but all I see is a tree and a big knot on the ground. And three crazy boys who want to make something out of nothing,” she smiled.
Laughing, Tav looped an arm around Tracey and kissed her forehead, turning her around all in one swift movement. “You go read one of your books and make something out of that. We’ll design and build our pleasure craft and call you when it’s time to launch.” He gave her a little shove.
At first, Tracey was a little resentful of Tav, taking her children over like this. After watching the trio for a few minutes, however, her outlook began to change.
The boys needed a man around to appreciate and admire. They only had her to pattern themselves after and, if she were honest with herself, there were times that she knew that she wasn’t enough.
Sometimes she needed more for herself as well. Was Tav offering her that too? Would she accept it if he did? She hadn’t had the best possible experiences with men so far in her life.
How foolhardy was the idea of trusting Tavist Darke? As she stood at her kitchen window pondering the dark haired enigma tickling and tossing her boys as they created something out of nothing on that old tree, Tracey began to hope.
* * * * *
Tracey put together six big sandwiches for lunch, knowing they’d be hungry later and that Tav would still be there. After sliding the covered sandwiches into her refrigerator, she watched them for a little while longer, fighting her confusion over the man.
Obviously, he wasn’t the monster her ex-husband was. Still, he was a man. She’d like to accuse him of bullying his way in but that wasn’t true either. She had to be honest with herself, no matter how inconvenient it was.
Tav was no bully. He wasn’t pushing his way into their lives. He was just trying to fit in to their lives—making a place for himself with them. While it made her nervous, very nervous, she knew it wasn’t altogether a bad thing.
She was pleased that Ashley was opening up to him. Although there was nothing wrong with being cautious, Ashley’s fear had been nearly incapacitating. Tracey had already been to the school three times to talk about her reaction to an older boy crowding her or the older male janitor shouting at a group of kids. Ashley had hidden in a little used closet for hours and caused quite a stir. Somehow, though, her little girl felt safe with this big man.
Since she wasn’t getting anything done anyway, Tracey decided to run to the store while she had the chance. Grabbing her car keys, she went out the back door to ask Tav if he’d mind being alone with the boys.
“Tav, can I ask you for a favor?” She called hesitantly.
He stood and Jacob took Christopher’s hand and they moved back from the tools. Tav turned to Jacob and, pulling off his gloves, gave him a big smile and a thumbs-up. He strode over to Tracey.
“Name your pleasure, ma’am,” he grinned. At her blank look he said, “The favor?”
“Oh,” she shook her head, smiling in embarrassment. “Would you mind being here alone with the boys while I run to the store?”
His grin grew wider. Looking over his shoulder, he winked. “Only if you bring us back some chocolate milk.”
She laughed. She could hear her sons chattering excitedly. Apparently boys of all ages loved chocolate milk. Tav continued walking with her to the side of the house where her car was parked.
She bent to unlock the car door and turned to the big man still next to her. She felt frozen in place as he cupped her cheek.
“Tracey? Thank you for trusting me,” he murmured.
She stood unmoving as he lowered his head to hers and brushed her mouth in a feather-light kiss. When she still didn’t move, he kissed the tip of her nose and turned, calling out to the boys as he rounded the back of the house to rejoin them.
She stood frozen for several minutes, shocked that he’d kissed her that way. She wasn’t sure which surprised her the most—the fact that he’d kissed her or that she’d let him. It looked like Ashley wasn’t the only conquest Tav had made among the West women.
With a start, she realized that she was still standing beside her car in a daze. She could hear Tav and the boys chattering and laughing in the back yard. Shaking herself both physically and mentally, Tracey opened her car door and climbed in.
As she drove into town, her thoughts skittered from Tav and his touches—and his lips—to the overwhelming sense of freedom she felt at that moment. It had been years since she’d been able to do anything alone.
When she’d first begun dating Jack Aschtholdt, her children’s father, everything had seemed so right. He’d treated her well and Tracey’s parents had approved. Even after their engagement, he’d been good to her.
Then, he’d become possessive—jealous, really. He was always so sure that she couldn’t be faithful to him. It had seemed romantic to a twenty-year-old engaged to be married.
Later, after the wedding, his behavior had gotten worse and worse. Tracey hadn’t done anything on her own in nine years. She’d finally managed to divorce Jack after he’d been put in prison for child and spousal abuse.
She believed she’d be notified if he ever got paroled but she didn’t dare leave the kids with sitters—just in case. As for enjoying time to herself, that was nearly impossible with three young children to care for.
Now, out of the clear blue, she was shopping, browsing and enjoying some quiet time on her own. She felt downright giddy.
* * * * *
“How it’s going to work, Jacob, is with a pulley,” Tav explained. “See, the rope fits on the groove of the wheel. We’ll tie this part of the rope to the swing. When you pull this rope, the wheel turns and the swing will move up. If you pull on the other one, the swing will move down.”
“That’s so cool!” crowed Jacob. “Baby Christopher can pull it so he can ride it whenever he wants, right?”
“Yep, that’s the plan,” Tav agreed. “Let’s rest a minute.”
“Tav, how do you know all this stuff?” asked Jacob.
“I just learned it, Jacob. But now that we’re friends, I’ll try to show you the stuff I learned, okay?” Tav gave the little boy a quick hug.
“Where do you live, Tav?” Jacob asked.
“I live right down that path, son. Let’s grab Christopher and walk over there and back. It’s not far. We’ll only go close enough to see the house and my studio. It’s just on the other side
of the house and a bit behind. I want you to know where I live in case you ever need me.”
“Okay, Tav, I think that’s a very good idea,” Jacob agreed sagely. “Christopher! Wanna go for a walk?”
With Tav holding Christopher’s left hand and Jacob holding his right, the three of them walked up the path into the woods. It was a very short walk.
“Do wild animals live in these woods?” Jacob asked in awe.
Christopher let out a little roar. Laughing, Tav hauled him into his arms and growled into his neck.
Lifting his head, he told Jacob, “I’m the wildest animal that lives in these woods, Jacob.” He looked at the boy thoughtfully as they came within sight of his house. “See how close I live?” he asked. Jacob nodded.
“If you ever need something, son, if there’s ever something wrong, you stand in your backyard and yell it out, okay? I’ll hear you, I promise.” Wide-eyed Jacob nodded. “Now, let’s see who can be the scariest wild animal to come out of these woods!”
Jacob laughed and the three of them began to run back down the path roaring and growling.
* * * * *
Tracey didn’t know what to think of the sight that greeted her when she parked her car at home. Her sons were chasing Tav around the yard, growling and roaring at him until he caught them.
He scooped a squirming, giggling boy in each arm and walked up to her, placing them on the ground at her feet. “I believe these ferocious creatures belong to you?”
“Will chocolate milk soothe the savage beasts?” She produced a bag containing three cartons of the precious nectar. The boys squealed with glee. “How were they?” she asked as she handed them the cartons and watched them guzzle their drinks.
Tracey tried not to watch Tav too closely and forced herself to turn away.
“They were great. We had a fine time. We’re all ready to hang the swing but we wanted to wait for you so we walked a little ways into the woods.” At her worried frown, he went on. “I just wanted to show them where my house is. We didn’t go all the way to it.”
