by Mari Carr
“Are you two going out?” Rhonda asked, obviously as shocked as Ailis was at the moment.
Hunter was wasting himself with music. His true talents clearly lie in acting. He never bothered to look at Rhonda. Instead, he stared at Ailis as if she hung the moon. “Oh yeah. Finally opened my eyes and realized that this angel had been standing right in front of me all along.”
She wanted to blame Hunter’s sudden insanity on alcohol, but they hadn’t gotten their drinks yet.
Then he went completely around the bend, leaning closer and kissing her. On the lips. It wasn’t a brushing glance, either. It was a legit kiss, full of heat and—whoa—a whole bunch of other things she couldn’t even begin to describe.
If Hunter was doing this as some sort of joke, he was falling way short.
Because the kiss didn’t make her want to laugh. It made her want to take all her clothes off. Here. Now.
Hunter’s tongue darted out to stroke her lower lip a split second before he pulled away. He cupped her cheek with one hand, the touch full of affection and fondness. It was melting her insides.
Hunter’s eyes remained locked on hers even as he spoke to the other couple. “Sorry. I have a hard time resisting her.”
“I…see,” Paul said, his tone wooden, unreadable. Ailis couldn’t tell if her ex was angry or skeptical or annoyed or just bored. “Well, I guess we should leave you two to your…date.”
Mercifully, the waitress returned with their shots and beers—impeccable timing, since things had just gotten mega-awkward—and Paul took Rhonda’s hand.
“Enjoy your drinks,” Paul said coldly, the venom in his tone taking Ailis aback. What the hell did he have to be pissed about?
“It was, um, great to see you both again,” Rhonda said, though it was obvious she didn’t really think so.
Ailis forced a smile and a quick nod. Hunter merely shot daggers at the other couple with his eyes until they beat a hasty retreat.
“Sooooo,” Ailis dragged out. “What the hell, man?”
Hunter pretended not to understand her question. “What?”
“Why would you tell them we’re dating? We’re not. And even if we don’t see them anymore, we do still have friends in common. They’re going to find out that was a lie.”
Hunter was quiet for three heartbeats, his expression still dark. “I don’t care. I didn’t like the way that son of a bitch was looking at you.”
So she hadn’t imagined it. The pity in Paul’s eyes, as if she was destined to live life as a spinster.
“You did that for me?”
“He’s a fucking prick. Walking around with his Dr. God complex. Thinking he’s the best thing that ever happened to you, convinced you can’t find better. He’s lucky I kissed you. My other option was punching his fucking lights out for being such an arrogant asshole.”
Ailis was more touched than she’d ever been in her life. Unfortunately, that feeling was fleeting, replaced by a much more familiar one. The one she hadn’t managed to kick since Paul had told her they weren’t a “good fit” in his letter, as if she were a shoe that pinched. As always, that small part of her that she hated reared its head, making her doubt her worth. “You don’t think he’s—”
Hunter rolled his eyes. “I swear to God, if you ask if he’s right, if you are seriously sitting here thinking that you’re never going to find anyone else, I’m gonna have to kiss you again.”
Typically, confidence wasn’t an issue for her, but it had been a long, lonely not-quite year filled with really bad dates. While she tried to be optimistic about her chances for love, that hope was stretched paper thin.
Or it had been…until that kiss.
Then she considered pushing the point, not because she believed she was unlovable—but because she liked the idea of Hunter kissing her again. However, her voice was too flirty to pull it off. “I’m just saying I think maybe if you wanted to try—”
“Stop looking at me like that,” he said, interrupting her mid-coy, which was good because she really sucked at flirting.
“Like what?”
“You know what I’m talking about, mouse. We can’t kiss again.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask why not, but she was afraid he’d have a really good reason, one that might convince her not to go for a few more of those bone-rattling, shake-her-to-the-core kisses.
Her expression must not have changed, because Hunter groaned and picked up a shot glass to hand to her. “Jesus. Here. Mother’s milk. To cure all awkward situations.”
She and Hunter tapped shot glasses and downed the tequila. “Or to make them more awkward,” she joked, struggling hard to get them back on familiar ground.
They reached across the table at the same time, laughing as they helped themselves to Sunnie and Finn’s shots. Her cousins were still out on the dance floor. They didn’t need them.
“Or to get you so drunk you forget what I just did,” Hunter clarified as they threw back the second shots.
She was never going to forget that kiss. Ever.
Hunter caught the waitress’s eye and twirled his finger—the universal sign for another round—as they both eyeballed the last shot, the odd guy out.
“What makes you think you deserve that one?” he asked as she started to reach it.
“My night was worse than yours,” Ailis said, laying out her case for why she deserved the last shot of tequila. “Ray spent at least forty-five minutes of the date talking about the latest episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Spoiler alert. Apparently, they’re all catty bitches.”
Hunter chuckled. “He really watches that show?”
“Yeah, and that discussion was disturbing enough until it turned to his antiquated opinions of marriage. Whole thing was completely horrifying. I win, right?”
Hunter never gave in easily. “I’d bring up the fact that I just came face-to-face with the woman who ripped my heart out as an argument, but you have that same ace in the hole. So that one’s a draw.”
“Which means I’m in the lead.”
“And I still need to get you drunk enough to forget my brief moment of insanity. You know that kiss wouldn’t have affected you so much if you’d listen to me and get laid occasionally.”
“It wasn’t that great a kiss,” she fired back, the words liar, liar, pants on fire singsonging their way through her brain.
“Take the shot, mouse. Then we’re going to dance.”
“When did I stop yelling at you for calling me mouse?”
“You know when. And you can go ahead and admit to liking it now. I won’t rub it in too bad.”
She rolled her eyes, but didn’t argue. In truth, she’d never had a nickname, and she didn’t feel any insult from Hunter when he said it. Not since he’d called her a fierce mouse and looked at her like she was someone he respected. Maybe it had started as a way to tease her for her quietness, but now it felt like his friendly pet name for her. Something that had moved them away from merely being brokenhearted buddies and toward a genuine friendship.
The third shot went down easier than the first two, providing a relaxing heat that worked its way through every part of her. All the rough edges inside went fuzzy, soft, and something shook itself clear. “I’m going to stop dating for a little while.”
“What? Where did that come from?”
“I jumped back into the fray too soon. My issues with Paul were less about us and more about me. I gave him way too much control. Sacrificed things that made me happy to ensure his. I gotta figure out who I am first before I try to make my life fit with someone else’s.”
Hunter nodded, giving her that look that she’d seen on his face a lot in the past year. He always seemed impressed by her, like she was a pleasant surprise he hadn’t expected. Initially, the expression had annoyed her. Now it amused her.
“That’s really smart, A. I’m going to do it with you. Focus completely on my music. To hell with dating and love and all that crap. Operation Solo Act has just begun.�
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Hunter took her hand, leading her to the dance floor, and for the next few hours, they moved in time with the heart-pounding beat, only breaking occasionally for more tequila and beer.
He’d told her they were getting shitfaced. He hadn’t lied.
Finn was the one to call uncle and, for the first time in their lives, it fell to Sunnie and her brother to be the responsible ones. They called for the cab and poured Hunter and Ailis into it around three a.m.
Ailis convinced Hunter to spend the night on their couch, mainly because she wasn’t sure she could stay awake through three stops—they’d dropped Leo off first—and she was on the verge of passing out.
They all stumbled upstairs to the apartment together. Hunter fell onto the couch without taking off his coat or shoes. Finn and Sunnie laughed at how quickly he went down before heading to their own rooms. Ailis dragged herself along the hallway wall, letting it hold her up as she made her way to her bedroom.
She touched her lips, recalling Hunter’s kiss again. He hadn’t kissed her because he wanted her.
He’d actually kissed her for a reason that felt better than being wanted. Unfortunately, she was too drunk to figure out why that was true.
She sat on the edge of her bed and the room swayed. That wasn’t good. It took her several minutes to strip off her shoes, socks, coat and jeans. The rest was just going to have to stay. She was too tired to take anything else off.
Ailis had just put her head on the pillow when Hunter appeared.
“Scoot over,” he urged.
“No.” Ailis lifted a floppy arm and pointed across the room. “Sleep in Cait’s bed.”
He ignored her, physically pushing her to one side of the bed as he claimed the other. She was flimsy as a rag doll and unable to put up much resistance.
He lay down on his back and pulled her toward him, her cheek resting on his chest. He’d managed to lose his shoes and coat somewhere, but he was still fully dressed.
Because it was a twin bed, it was a tight fit. Regardless, he positioned them in such a way that it worked.
“I don’t want to sleep by myself.”
“I’m not having sex with you, Hunter.”
He chuckled. “I’m not talking about sex. Swore it off, remember? Sometimes it’s nice to just sleep with somebody.”
She frowned, too drunk to be reasonable. Hunter always wanted sex. “Why don’t you want to have sex with me?”
“Seriously?” he asked. “You’re offended that I don’t want what you don’t want?”
Ailis lifted her head and looked at him, not bothering to repeat the question, even though it was one she’d thought about before. Hunter flirted with anything with boobs, constantly turning on the charm. With everyone but her. For her, it was…just buddies. Just pals.
Or so she’d thought. That kiss had confused things. It hadn’t been friendly. Not in the slightest.
“Three reasons,” he said, forging on, even though she hadn’t said anything. “Number one, I drank way too much tequila and I’m pretty sure he,” Hunter pointed at his cock, “isn’t up for it. Number two, you just swore off guys so you can find yourself. And finally, even if you hadn’t made that last vow, I’m not telling you I love you just so I can fuck you. I’ve never lied to you, A. Don’t wanna start now.”
“Oh. Yeah.” She put her head back down on his chest. Those arguments made sense to her tequila-soaked brain. She’d vowed she wouldn’t sleep with anyone she wasn’t in love with. And Hunter knew her well enough by now to know she meant it…when she was sober.
The problem was that brought up another worry, one she hadn’t been able to let go of since seeing Paul, despite the tequila eraser she’d employed. “Why doesn’t anyone want to marry me?”
“You’re backsliding.”
“No, I’m not. Tomorrow I’ll be strong again. Tonight, I just want to try to understand all the pieces.”
“Seems like you’d be better off reaching for those answers when you’re sober.”
“I won’t ask the questions then.”
“You gotta start talking to people more, A. And I don’t just mean me and your family. You’ve got a lot of smart stuff to say.”
“You’re avoiding my question.”
Hunter sighed and wrapped the arm around her shoulders tighter, tucking her closer. With his free hand, he reached over and touched her face, before finding her earring. He fiddled with it in a way that was strangely arousing as he spoke.
“You just haven’t met the right guy.”
“I thought I had. And he picked Rhonda.”
“Ailis,” Hunter started, and she knew what he was going to say. She cut him off at the pass.
“I’m not still hung up on him. I swear. That’s not what this is about. It’s just…I can’t figure out what the difference is. You would have married Rhonda, wouldn’t you? If she and Paul hadn’t run away, you would have…”
He sighed. “I would have married her. And it would have been a mistake.”
They’d discussed the breakup countless times before, and they’d both come up with plenty of reasons why they’d been lucky with their near misses. She always wondered if the reasons were valid or just comforting. “What is it that makes guys want to marry her and not me?”
“She puts out on the first date,” he teased.
“You’re an asshole. All guys are assholes.”
“Yep. It’s about time you figured that out.”
They laughed together for a few minutes and Ailis was just about to fall asleep when he spoke again.
“She’s pregnant, Ailis.”
Ailis had been trying to forget about that. “Yeah. I hope she retains a lot of water and her ankles swell.”
Hunter chuckled. “Jesus, mouse. Is that as mean as you get? Swollen ankles?”
“I believe in karma.”
“I guess we did okay tonight. Us against them.”
She had noticed lately that Hunter no longer referred to their great heartbreaks as solo occurrences, but as a thing they shared. “Yeah. I guess.”
“Sorry I dragged you out. I know you wanted to stay in. If you had, we wouldn’t have—”
“I’m glad we ran into them,” she murmured. “Now it’s out of the way. Pressure’s off. Besides, the rest of the night was a blast.”
They were quiet again, and Ailis was convinced he’d finally passed out. She was wrong.
“We’re a couple of sad cases,” Hunter mumbled sleepily.
“Yeah. I guess we are.”
“We gotta stick to our goals. Ten months is long enough to feel sorry for ourselves. From now on, Rhonda and Paul are the past. Hunter and Ailis are the future.”
She grinned at his pep talk. The way he said it almost made it sound like they were a couple, rather than two friends determined to find themselves, to make their way on their own.
“Everything good is going to happen this year, Hunter. Everything.”
“Everything,” he muttered, his deep breathing letting her know he’d finally fallen asleep. In her bed. She considered moving over into Caitlyn’s side of the room, but changed her mind. It had been a long time since she’d slept in a bed with someone.
He was right.
It was nice.
3
Ailis looked across the table where Sunnie and Hunter were laughing over some card he’d laid down in their cutthroat game of Cards Against Humanity.
It was New Year’s Eve. And she was still living in Collins Dorm. Still essentially jobless.
She’d been dumped almost a year ago, and apart from the two moves she’d made the day after receiving the letter—moving out and quitting her job—she hadn’t made one single forward step since.
To make matters worse, Caitlyn was out celebrating this New Year on a yacht with a man she’d met just before the holidays. She’d started dating Lucas Whiting, supposedly under the guise of spying on the man. He wanted to buy Pat’s Pub, something that would only happen when hell froze over. How
ever, Ailis suspected Caitlyn’s feelings for Lucas had changed lately.
Caitlyn was obviously going to spend the night with the billionaire, and Ailis was too drunk to bother to shield her jealousy, even though she adored her cousin.
Leave it to Caitlyn to find a guy when she wasn’t even looking.
Meanwhile, Ailis couldn’t even manage to find herself. And she was sitting right there in her own skin.
“Come on, guys,” Colm called from his spot on the couch, turning the channel to New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. “Take a break from the game. The ball’s gonna drop in forty-five minutes. They’ve lined up some pretty good music for the show tonight.”
They all claimed seats as they awaited the countdown to midnight.
Hunter had taken the recliner, and when he realized Ailis was left without a spot to sit, he grabbed her hand and tugged her onto his lap, tickling her when she tried to get back up.
“Hunter. Stop. There’s no room.”
“Sure there is. Here.” He scooted over and somehow, they managed to share the seat, mostly. They had to twist sideways, so they were watching TV while in a weird, spooning-style position.
Ailis tried to concentrate on the music, tried to work herself out of her snit. She was usually better at shrugging off the dark thoughts, but tonight they were holding fast.
She sighed.
“You’re in a foul mood,” Hunter mumbled softly, out of earshot of the rest of her family.
“I know. Sorry. New Year’s Eve sucks. Gives you too much time for introspection.”
“Don’t worry, mouse. I’ll kiss those bad feelings away at midnight.”
She crinkled her nose, pretending that offer held no appeal. Hunter had kissed her only one time. And since then, she’d obsessed over it. Way too much.
Something told her that kiss was going to be the yardstick by which she measured other kisses, and it was going to be a tough one to beat.
“No thanks. I’ll just ride it out.”
He leaned forward to get a better look at her face. “Man. You are a grumpy Gus. Come on.” He rose and reached down to help her up as well.
