by Lilly Atlas
“While we’re there, we plan to locate the drugs and deal with the offenders in the appropriate manner. That’s all I’ll say about that. Kori?” Jester swung his gaze to her.
Even though she knew how nice he was and what a jokester he was on a normal day, being the sole focus of over six-foot-five, at least two-hundred-fifty pounds of intense male was nerve-wracking to say the least.
“Yes?” Her voice sounded small, meek and it pissed her off. She wasn’t either of those things, at least not in personality. But if people weren’t staring at her before, they sure as hell were now that Jester called her out, and it was just too much. She wanted to crawl under the table and hide until everyone went home.
“We could really use some detailed information about where you saw the drugs, what access is like, the schedules Rebel and Savage have been keeping over the past few weeks. Anything you can tell us that will give us a leg up.” Jester relaxed his stance and gentled his voice as he spoke. Perhaps he noticed the deer-in-the-headlights look she no doubt wore. “You okay to stay a bit after the meeting to go over some of that shit?”
Ugh, no. She couldn’t stay; she had unbreakable plans to cry herself to sleep. “Of course,” she said instead. “I was thinking I should, uh, tag along. You can tell Rebel I came looking for a place to stay and you wanted to return me. Might earn you some brownie points you could use to your advantage.”
The clatter of Lucky’s fallen chair registered before the sight of the over six-foot male who stood across the table starting at her like she asked to dance naked on the tables. “No fucking way in hell will that be happening.”
Jester silenced him with a glower before he addressed her suggestion. The rest of the room remained quiet, but the weight of their heavy stares was palpable. “I appreciate the offer, Kori, but it would be a bit risky. Rebel would immediately suspect that you told us about his drug dealing and we can’t risk anything that will tip him off. If he has any chance to get rid of the evidence, he’ll take it.”
She nodded and pushed her plate away, appetite long gone. It took work to keep her attention trained on Jester rather than Lucky, who still loomed over the table scowling at her. “Okay. What if I go back on my own tomorrow? I can use the week before you arrive to do some surveillance, scout around, and pass information back to you.”
Lucky slammed his clenched fists down on the table sending paper plates an inch into the air and tipping no less than three full plastic cups. “Are you out of your fucking mind, woman?”
His face was dark with rage and she could practically see smoke swirling up from his ears.
Thankfully, Jester kept his cool. “You think Savage is going to welcome you with open arms? It’s too risky, hon.”
“Way too fucking risky,” Lucky said.
The push-pull from Lucky was getting to her. One day he yelled at her, the next he came to apologize and they ended up going at it like animals. Then he took her on a polite motorcycle ride for hours. Now he was back to yelling at her and apparently, he didn’t trust that she wouldn’t tip off Rebel and Savage. Why the hell else wouldn’t he want her in Vegas? Well screw that. She deserved to see Rebel and Savage taken down.
She placed her own palms on the table with much less force than Lucky and leaned toward him. “Fine, then I want to come with you. I’ll stay out of sight until it’s all over, but I want to be there. I deserve to be there.”
His reach was far greater and he was practically on her side of the table by the time he’d bent as far forward as he could. He was breathing like he’d just run a race. “You deserve to be there? Please, tell us why you deserve to be there?”
Her face was so hot beads of sweat popped out along her brow. She pressed her bodyweight onto her hands to keep them from shaking, but it only translated up her arms until her entire body vibrated with a mix of irritation and humiliation. All around the room wide eyes gaped at the show.
“Listen, Lucky.” She somehow managed a strained but calm tone. “I get that you don’t think very highly of me right now. And we can talk privately about everything after the meeting. But I’m not looking to tip them off. I’m not looking to screw you guys over.” Then a thought hit her, something she should have thought of the moment they unveiled their plan. Shit. It was a thought that could ruin the entire scheme.
Rebel and Savage already knew Lucky was aware of their drug enterprise.
“Jesus Christ, you think I give a shit about any of that?” Lucky pushed back from the table and ran a hand through his hair, making it stick out in various directions. “I don’t think you’re gonna sell us out, Kori. I don’t want you there for your own safety. I’m trying to protect you.” Disbelief laced his voice.
Panic clawed at her throat. It didn’t matter, none of it mattered. If Lucky showed up there with Striker and Shiv, Rebel would immediately be suspicious. All of a sudden it was too much. The heartache with Lucky, being blackmailed by her own father, seeing a man beaten, and now circling back around to fear for Lucky. “And what the hell do you think I was trying to do when I agreed to marry Savage?” she yelled.
Her hand flew up and covered her mouth as though she could hold in the screamed words that had already escaped.
Lucky grew as still and cold as an ice sculpture.
Oh shit. There went her chance for a personal talk with Lucky.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Lucky couldn’t breathe. It was as though a tight band wound around his chest constricting further with each passing second. He’d been shocked to realize she assumed he didn’t trust her to keep her mouth shut, but it was nothing compared to how stunned her last sentence had left him. “What did you just say?”
Wide-eyed, tears drenching her cheeks, hand still over her mouth, she shook her head. The room was so silent you could almost hear someone blink as every person waited for her next words. “Nothing,” she whispered as her hand dropped to her side. “I’m upset. I’m just mouthing off.” Her lower lip quivered and her hands trembled. Lucky longed to pull her into his embrace and promise her nothing bad would happen, but he had a feeling it would be a lie. Something very bad was about to happen.
Next to her, Lila gripped Kori’s hand and squeezed as though bolstering her and passing along some strength.
Tears continued to course down her cheeks and her shoulders slumped in defeat. She looked broken, beaten down. Then, in a move that filled him with pride, she inhaled, raised her head and looked at him straight on.
“Rebel already knows you’re on to him, Lucky.”
Gasps sounded around the room. Lucky was as surprised as anyone, but Kori’s solemn face told him there was more. A lot more. And the worst was still to come.
“Tell me,” he said.
“The morning after I agreed to move in with you, when I went to meet Rebel for lunch, remember?” She was openly crying now, but her voice, though shaky, possessed a core of steel. Lila still cradled her hand and Kori clung to it like lifeline.
Ice slithered through his veins. He remembered that morning well. The day before she ripped his heart out. Fuck. He wasn’t going to like what came next. “I remember.”
“When I got to the clubhouse, I was told to go meet Rebel in a shed behind the main building.”
The shed. What shed? Shit, there was an old storage shed behind the clubhouse. “Jesus, I don’t think I’ve seen that thing used once since I’ve been in the club. I didn’t even know anyone had a key.”
“Rebel and Savage were inside. Your friend, Robbie, was tied to a chair and Savage had beaten the crap out of him. It was…awful.” She shuddered, lost for a moment in the nightmare of a memory. “He didn’t even try to hide the fact that it was him and I immediately knew I was in serious trouble.” She paused and drew in a shuttered breath.
There were so many questions on the tip of Lucky’s tongue. He was torn between asking her to speak faster and begging her to shut up. To stop the story that no doubt would shatter them both.
“There were stac
ks of drugs along the left wall. I really know nothing about it, but I assume what they had was worth a lot of money. Rebel told me what they were up to. And how Robbie ran his mouth when they withheld drugs from him. He told me you discovered what they were doing. Gave me two choices: agree to marry Savage or I’d be looking at you in that chair next. They would do to you everything they did to Robbie.”
Words were flying from her now like she couldn’t stem the flow once the barrier crumbled. She seemed to have forgotten they had an audience. Every word was another slice, another dagger cutting a hole around his heart. He’d failed her in the worst way. She’d been his woman. His number one job was to protect her. In a world like his? There wasn’t anything more important. It was a wonder she could stand to look at him.
“He said you’d been thinking of leaving Vegas and my relationship with Savage would be the push you needed, which was what they wanted. He also said you’d never reveal what you knew if I was married to Savage and in any kind of risk. It was a way to control you without having to explain your death or disappearance.
“He didn’t give me any time to process, to think. I had to decide right then and there. I knew in my gut Robbie was going to die and all I could see was you in that chair. I made the only choice I could. After that, Rebel had me followed twenty-four hours a day. He even took my phone and keys, and I didn’t have your number memorized. Said if he caught me trying to contact you, he’d kill you. I’d hoped to find a way to talk to you after. And then you were gone.”
She sank into her chair, sobs coming in great waves of anguish. “I didn’t want to d-do it. I didn’t w-want to hurt y-you. I never wanted it to end. But they didn’t give me t-time. I couldn’t think. I had no c-choice. I had no choice.”
There was no doubt in Lucky’s mind that every word out of Kori’s mouth was the truth. That the agonizing decision she’d been forced to make in a split second’s time had broken her heart as it had his. Lucky clenched his jaw and locked his knees to keep from running to her. If he touched her, if one millimeter of her silky skin came in contact with his, he’d snatch her out of there and disappear with her, making sure she was far too pleasured to think of anything from the past month.
But he didn’t. The magnitude with which he failed her was so great, he didn’t deserve to be in her presence, let alone touch her. How on earth had she withstood his touch the other day? How had she let him into her body knowing the misplaced hatred he’d felt. Knowing everything she’d endured over the past few weeks stemmed from his failure to keep her safe.
He shouldn’t have waited. He should have come straight to Arizona the moment he’d overheard Rebel and Savage discussing their business. But he’d hesitated, confused in his loyalties, then unwilling to disturb the happiness he’d found with Kori. And in doing that he’d crushed that happiness under the heel of his heavy boot.
One thin thread of his control remained and it was perilously close to snapping. The walls of the room appeared to be moving in on him, his leather cut shrinking around his body. If he didn’t get the hell out of there in the next ten seconds he was going to shatter and lose his shit on someone who didn’t deserve it.
“Lucky,” Shiv said.
He shook his head and backed up, tripping over his downed chair but somehow managing to stay on his feet. “I have to…I can’t…” Christ, he couldn’t even form a coherent sentence. Kori’s dejected gaze met his. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby,” he whispered. Then he turned and jogged out the door.
Not only had he destroyed Kori, but he’d unknowingly fucked his club over as well. He couldn’t even go to Vegas and be the one to end Rebel’s reign and possibly his life. He wouldn’t get the satisfaction of feeling the bones in Savage’s face crunch under his fists.
Rebel had been on to him all along.
Fuck.
Kori sagged against the back of her chair as Lucky fled the clubhouse. He left. Despite knowing the truth. It was her worst fear confirmed. The room blurred and her stomach rolled. Breathing became near impossible. She bent forward, head between her knees, trying to draw in air.
What a spectacle she’d made of herself in front of his entire club family. Not only had she blubbered and cried, but she’d shared her most shameful secrets. Her failings, her heartbreak.
What was Lucky thinking at that moment? “He hates me,” she whispered.
“No honey.” Lila’s soft, compassionate voice sounded above her and the calming feel of Lila’s hand rubbing along the length of her spine helped regulate her breathing. Every time Lila stroked up, Kori inhaled, then blew out the breath on the downward stroke. No wonder people around town raved about her being an amazing emergency room physician. She was a natural comforter.
“He doesn’t hate you. Not at all. I’m pretty sure the one he hates right now is himself.”
It was hard to speak around the tennis ball sized lump of emotion in her throat. “That’s even worse. That’s why I didn’t say anything after I got here. I can handle his hatred aimed at me, but I don’t think I can survive knowing he hates himself over choices I made.”
Oh crap, she was still pouring her heart out to a room full of virtual strangers. Face hot, she straightened and glanced around the room, surprised to find it empty except for the four women she’d spent the afternoon with just yesterday. “Where did everybody go?”
“Shiv shooed them all out. You were a bit upset at the time,” Fia said, a compassionate smile on her face.
“I think you should go talk to him.” Emily’s voice was quiet and her light blue eyes reflected past pain.
“He’s not going to want to be around me right now.”
“Maybe not. But I still think you should go to him. Force the issue, make him see you, talk to you. He’s feeling like he failed you.”
“What? That’s ridiculous. How did he fail me? I’m the one who broke it off with him. I made the choices here.” Is that really what had him so upset? She’d known he’d hate the fact that he dragged her into the mess, but failed her? Never.
Marcie sighed. “She’s right, Kori. You gotta understand how these guys think. Protecting family, protecting their women is everything to them. And he feels he failed to protect you.”
Kori shot to her feet. “Oh my God. I have to find him. Where would he have gone?” She looked around at the women.
“He’s at his house.” Acer spoke from the bottom of the staircase. “I had a prospect tail him since he was so upset. He rode straight to his house.”
“Thank you. Oh God, I don’t even know the address.”
“I’ll text it to you,” Fia said, pulling out her phone.
“Perfect, thank you.” She grabbed her leather jacket and dug the phone out of her pocket. Lucky’s address lit the screen. With a frown, she searched the floor around her chair for her purse. “Oh shit! I don’t have my car, or my license, or anything.” She must look and sound like an absolute lunatic.
“Here,” Fia tossed a set of keys that Kori caught midair. “I’ll ride back with Acer and get my car later. Can’t help with the lack of license. Just don’t speed.”
Kori snorted. Don’t speed, yeah right. It would be impossible to drive slowly with the insane amount of adrenaline coursing through her veins. Keys in hand, she dashed toward the exit. At the last second, she turned back around. “Thank you, thank you all so much.”
“Go, girl!” Marcie yelled and the ladies cheered and yelled encouragement.
Ten minutes later she pulled into Lucky’s driveway. They were going to talk and she wasn’t leaving until their issues were resolved.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Lucky slammed through his front door and kicked his boots off with violent thrusts of his feet. His plan was to stand in a scalding shower hot enough and for long enough to burn away the past few months of his life. Maybe with some penance thrown in there, too, for immediately believing Kori would have left him for Savage.
Next came his pants, cut, shirt, and boxer briefs. Naked he
stalked through his kitchen in search of a bottle of bourbon. When he found his prey, he continued toward his room and master bath.
Now, with the crystal-clear vision of hindsight, everything made so much sense. He reached his room and sank down on the edge of the queen-size bed instead of continuing into the bathroom. Welcoming the burn of the bourbon, he let the liquid flow down his throat. Of course, she hadn’t left him for Savage.
If he’d take two minutes to see past his own fucking jealously, he’d have known. It was in her actions, wary of the man, uncomfortable in his presence. She wasn’t in love with Savage. It wouldn’t have mattered how many times Rebel forced the man upon her.
God, she’d sacrificed herself for him. Gave herself to Savage. Slept in Savage’s bed, endured his touch…Lucky’s stomach heaved.
It would take more than what was left in the bottle to block out the image of his old VP’s hands and mouth on Kori’s body, but he had to start somewhere. After taking another drink, he rested his forearms on his thighs, head bowed, the almost empty bottle dangling between his knees.
And that’s how Kori found him.
Her soft footsteps stopped a few feet away from him and he didn’t need to look up to know it was her. Her unique clean and sweet fragrance was burned into his memory. His cock thickened as she stood there silently, her smell permeating farther into the room with each passing second.
Christ, he was an asshole.
“You shouldn’t be here right now,” he said.
“I think this is exactly where I’m supposed to be,” she answered. Her voice was soothing, her own pain obvious, but she held her ground.
He couldn’t handle her being here now. Couldn’t handle it if she didn’t want him. Wouldn’t survive if he’d killed his chance with her. “Look, Kori, I know I’m being an even bigger asshole than I’ve already been, but I just can’t do this right now.”
