Ian
I wish that I could hold onto the feeling I have after a few good rounds forever. When I walk out of that octagon, victorious, I feel pumped and excited and more alive than ever. Mundane worries are muted and all that matters is that single moment. That’s not to say I forget about my little sister. She’s always with me. It’s just at that moment I allow myself no worries. I want to run and yelp like I did when I was a kid. I was still grinning ear to ear after I showered and changed and went back out front to meet Kristie. As soon as I saw her face, very pretty, also smiling, some of my adrenaline seemed to ebb and some of my worries came slipping back through the cracks. What was I doing?
“Hi baby, you were amazing,” she said, and then suddenly she was all over me. I know most guys would have an instant hard on. Kristie used to have that effect on me too, but tonight I just wanted to peel her off of me and let her know that wasn’t what tonight was about.
“Thanks, are you ready to go eat?” Her long black hair was smooth and shiny and her make-up was just so. Her giant silicone boobs were showing just enough cleavage to make a man who hadn’t already seen them in every position possible, want to see more. Her jeans fit like they were made for her and her nails were long and red and as glossy as her pouty lips. She was a wet dream and I felt nothing.
“Sure, or we could skip dinner and go straight to your place.” She let one of those long fingers slide down the side of my face, stopping just underneath my chin. I shivered and said, “I’m really hungry. That fight took a lot out of me.”
“Okay then, wherever you want to eat. I have to lose those five pounds.”
I looked at her perfect body and wondered if the five pounds was in her head. Maybe it was five pounds of crazy, or maybe I was the crazy one…
“Arnold’s?” I asked.
She made a face and said, “Really? That place is pure grease. It’s not good for your body or your skin.”
I rolled my eyes and said, “Then you pick.”
“Sweet Tomatoes?” she said.
“A salad, really? Did you just watch that fight?”
“Okay then, you pick.” I sighed and took her arm.
“We’ll decide on the way,” I told her.
We got in the car and I headed for a place called Cattle Baron. I could get a steak there and she could have her rabbit food. I remember now why I’d stopped taking her out to eat when we were together. Eating out with a person who either never ate anything or complained the whole time was never any fun. When we got inside the restaurant we had to wait to be seated. While we were sitting on the bench waiting, a young woman walked by. She was maybe twenty or twenty-one and she was really pretty. She had that wholesome country girl look to her. She had on a jean skirt and cowboy boots and the outfit reminded me of the one Alexa wore the last night we were together. She had looked so hot in that. Kristie looked her up and down distastefully as she walked by and when the girl was out of earshot she said, “That one looks like she just rolled off the hay truck. Doesn’t she know this isn’t Oklahoma?”
I raised an eyebrow. It was at Kristie’s judgment, not the beautiful girl. Then she had to talk about the lady next to us that she found, “grossly fat” and the man who was holding a toddler and struggling with twins while his pregnant wife took the only available seat, “needed to trim his nose hairs”. There was no end to it with Kristie. I thought about how upset I’d been about Alexa judging my past and I had to admit that it was at least nice she was worried about morals rather than obsessed with looks like Kristie was.
After we were seated I ordered a beer and she asked for an ice water with lemon. The water came with no lemon. With a sour look on her face she said, “Um, I asked for lemon.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” the middle-aged waitress who looked like she was probably on her second shift said. “I’ll grab that for you right now.”
“No.” Kristie said.
“Excuse me? You don’t want the lemon after all?”
“Oh yes, I want the lemon. I want it in my water the way I ordered it. I’m paying you for a service; I don’t expect to have to do it myself.”
I sighed, loudly. I wanted the server to know that I didn’t approve of my date’s rudeness. The server looked embarrassed and took the glass of water. I still hadn’t gotten to order my steak.
“Kristie, maybe if you were nicer to people…”
“I’m nice. I’m nice when some minimum-wage, middle-aged ginger isn’t screwing up my order.”
Kristie didn’t work. She called herself a model but the last job I know that she had was posing half-naked for the Harley dealership here in town. She was twenty one and still lived off of her Daddy’s money. She paid for her boob job last year with her “allowance”. I looked up and saw the server on her way back. Looking at Kristie I said, “Please be nice.” She rolled her eyes but when the woman sat the water down in front of her, Kristie gave her a fake, too-white smile and said, “Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome,” the waitress said. “Are y’all ready to order?”
I could see by Kristie’s face she was working up a comment about the “Y’all” as soon as the server walked away. This was such a mistake. We ordered and as Kristie talked about God knows what; I let my eyes roam the restaurant. There were a lot of couples there and most of them looked happy. I thought about the night that Alexa and I went out to dinner and how it had just been fun and relaxed. Tonight was tense and annoying and we didn’t even have our food yet.
“Oh look, it’s Travis Scott,” she said suddenly. I looked up and sure enough the homecoming king himself had just walked in. Travis Scott’s father owned most of the real estate in our town. Before my parents bought the house I grew up in, they had rented it from the Scotts. Travis was good-looking, rich and athletic. He was also one of the most arrogant assholes I’d ever met. Kristie didn’t go to high school with us. She had moved here with her dad just two years ago. I made the mistake of pointing Travis out one night when she and I first started going out. I don’t know if she ever actually slept with him, but there were times at some parties we went to that I thought she was about to give him head right there in front of me. “Hi Travis!” she said, waving her gold-bangled arm in the air. Travis was as fake as she was. As soon as he saw us, he pasted a big, fake smile on his face. In middle school he used to bully me.
“Kristie, Ian, how good to see you.” Kristie was practically gushing as she said, “Oh you too, Travis. It’s been too long. What have you been up to?” I mumbled a hello, but I don’t think anyone noticed. That was okay though because as long as Travis was talking to her, I didn’t have to.
“I’ve been out of state opening up another branch of the real estate firm for my father,” he said. “I travel extensively with this job.”
“Oh I’m so jealous,” she said. “That’s the kind of job I want.”
Travis smiled and said, “I thought you were a model.”
“I am,” she said with a pouty lip, “but it’s a tough business to break into.”
Travis ran his hand down her arm like I wasn’t even there as he said, “I’m sure you’ll find something soon. You look like you should be on the cover of SI.”
Jeez…"“SI”…he was too cool to even say Sports Illustrated. Thankfully, the server brought our food then and Travis went away. I wished he would have taken Kristie with him when I heard her say, “What is this?”
“Your salad ma’am…”
“I specifically said, ‘dressing on the side.’ Ian, didn’t you hear me say it?” I had heard her say it, but I was in no mood to agree with her.
“No, I don’t think you did,” I told her. She was looking at me when she was crazy. When she turned back to the waitress I gave the poor woman a wink and popped a bite of steak in my mouth.
“I can’t eat this.”
“I’m sorry; do you want a new one?”
“Of course! And don’t think it will be okay just to scrape the dressing off the top either
. If I taste one drop of oil or vinegar…”
“Kristie! That’s enough. Just let her take back the damned salad and give it a rest.” She looked shocked. The waitress gave me an appreciative look and took the salad. When she was gone, Kristie said, “Honey, I know that you had a long day with your fight and all, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t talk to me that way, especially in front of people.”
That was how she fought. She never raised her voice. The whole time we were together I would have given anything to have one good knock-down drag out fight where everyone said what they were really thinking…like the one I had with Alexa. “Then stop talking to people like they’re dirt,” I told her and I popped another piece of steak in my mouth. It was the only good thing about the evening. When dinner was over, I dropped Kristie back at her car.
“You want me to drive my own car to your place?” she asked.
“No Kristie, I’m going to go home and get some sleep. I’m exhausted.”
“I don’t mind if we don’t have sex. I’ll just hold you…if you can stand it,” she said with what she thought was a seductive smile. I had a headache.
“Not tonight, Kristie.”
Not ever. Tonight had been a giant mistake. I wasn’t going to let it go any further. “Drive safe,” I told her. “See you around.” I drove away while she was still standing there gaping at me. I didn’t care. Hopefully she won’t start calling me again. There was only one person I wanted to talk to and only one woman I wanted in my bed. She was a ginger, as Kristie would say, and I missed the hell out of her.
Chapter Eight
Ian
I went home after I dropped Kristie off, feeling bad all over again. I felt bad for asking her out when I was desperate for company. I never really wanted to see her. I wanted an escape and what I got was the same old miserable deal as I had gotten in the past. Only now, I had led her to believe that I wanted to pursue something with her again. The fact was I couldn’t imagine now why I had ever been with her in the first place, or why I had stayed with her so long. She was so superficial and vain and bitchy. If I was the waitress I would have dumped the salad on her head. I left the poor woman a fifty dollar tip. I hoped that made her night a little better.
What I needed was to clear my head and decide what I really want. All I can think about is Alexa. Part of me is still pissed about how judgmental she was and part of me wants to call her and talk to her about it so she can see that I’m not that guy any longer. I wouldn’t even mind arguing with her a little bit. I like her spunk even though it pisses me off when it’s directed at me. It’s a lot better than that fake shit Kristie gives me. I loved just hanging out with her. We didn’t have to go anywhere or do anything. I loved when it was just her and me. The sex is…unbelievable, but it’s not even about that. I’ve never experienced before, missing someone the way I miss Alexa.
I wonder sometimes if maybe the feeling is intensified because I’m missing my little sister so badly at the same time. Maybe I have my emotions all tangled up and being with Alexa seems so right because she’s such a strong connection to Emma. I’m not sure, but I do know that I need to figure it out because it was making me crazy. Did I actually want to be with someone who was holding things I did years ago against me? If I decided that I did, would she want to be with me? We’d only known each other a little over a month and we’d already had two fights. Those odds weren’t great either. The fact that we got together just after my sister and her best friend died caused a lot more stress than an ordinary new relationship would have, so I had to factor that in too. I fell asleep that night with all of this on my mind and woke up the next day with a whopper of a headache. I suppose it could have come from Wreckin’ Ralph’s well-placed right cross to my temple…but I think it was more likely the other stuff.
I forced myself out of bed and shook several Tylenol out into my hand. I washed it down with a protein drink and then after a quick shower, I headed to the gym. Maybe some exercise would clear my head. If it didn’t, maybe it would make me look like Wreckin’ Ralph when I grow up.
I did my day one workout. Usually the day after a fight I rest and start my day one the next day but if I stayed home this morning there was going to be no rest. I started with the bench press and I did fifteen reps times two. I had a guy named Leonard spotting for me and he was chatty. Sometimes that annoyed the hell out of me, but today it was a nice distraction.
“I got me a new truck,” he was saying.
“Five…Oh yeah,” I grunted out, “Six…What did you get?”
“I got a Ford F-450.”
“Seven…Damn…Eight…Nice. Big truck…Nine.”
“Yep and I put a six-inch lift on her,” he said.
“Very nice…Ten…What…Color…Eleven…”
“She’s a royal blue with a lot of chrome. She’s a beauty.”
“Sweet…Twelve…I always wanted…Thirteen…a truck.”
“You should get one. I’ve been going to your fights man, you’re awesome. You have to be making some good money, right?”
“It’s okay…Fourteen…I’m saving up…Fifteen….”
“For what?” He asked as I put the bar down.
“You just never know what’s going to happen, you know. I don’t want to find myself unable to fight someday and broke, you know?”
“True, smart kid.”
Dumb kid who let himself be kicked out of school his sophomore year. If I’m ever not able to fight, the best I’ll be able to do in the job department is flipping burgers.
“Yeah, I guess,” was all I said out loud. “Thanks for the help.”
I finished my workout and stopped by to check on my mom and dad on the way home. Mom said that Dad went to work so I hoped that meant he was feeling better. Mom looked a little better. She wasn’t dropping and spilling things. She was knitting and watching an old movie on television…I guess that was a start. I made a run to the grocery store to make sure they had the basics and then I headed home.
I was doing great until I was back home alone. Every time that happened lately I felt like the walls were closing in on me. It was weird, because I used to prefer being alone. Alexa was the first person I ever met that I actually wanted to see every day. In the past, even when I was in a relationship for a long time, I was good with a couple days a week.
I spent the rest of that day obsessing and the next day was pretty much an exact duplicate. Finally on the third day after my disaster of a date with Kristie I called Alexa, pushing the button quickly before I could change my mind. She picked up on the second ring, “Hello?”
“Hey.”
“I’m glad you called. I’ve been thinking about calling you all week.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I went to your fight the other night. You were awesome.”
My mind went to Kristie and I automatically began to sweat. It was stupid. I didn’t do anything wrong. “Oh yeah? Why didn’t you say hi?”
“I didn’t think it was the time or place to talk to you. I wanted to apologize about that last night we were together. I don’t have any right to judge you. Everyone makes mistakes. I think my emotions are just on such high alert lately because of Emma.”
“Yeah, mine too. I miss her like crazy. But thanks for the apology. I appreciate it.”
“I mean it,” she said. “I’ve felt so bad since that night.”
“You should have called me,” I told her.
“Yeah, I should have. I’m stubborn like that.”
“Can I see you?”
“I’d like that,” she said. “When?”
“Tomorrow afternoon? Maybe I can order a pizza and we can talk, watch a movie, play a game…whatever. I just want to see you.”
“I want to see you too,” she said. “I’ll be there.”
I hung up and mentally kicked myself for not calling sooner. Oh well, I finally have something real to look forward to. I couldn’t wait to see her.
******
Chapter Nine
Alexa
I woke up early the morning after Ian called me with a smile on my face. The anticipation about seeing him later was balled up in my chest and coursed through my veins like a dose of nervous energy. It tingled through me like electric sparks and eventually gathered in my toes. Once I got out of bed, I couldn’t sit still. The house was spotless clean from my cleaning binge last week and there was nothing left to do…so I went out for a run. While I was out, I decided to run by Emma’s house and see her mom. Ian’s mom too, I suppose. It was weird, but I still just thought of them as Emma’s parents. Anyways, I’d been putting it off, but I had to do it. I knocked on the door twice and was about to leave before her mom pulled open the door. My heart hurt when I saw her. She looked like she had aged ten years in the past month. She was pale and her usually beautiful dark hair was un-styled and uncut and the gray was more plentiful now than the dark brown. Her eyes were rimmed with pink…probably from crying herself to sleep at night. I almost regretted coming until her face broke out in a smile and some of the old spark was there in her eyes.
“Alexa! Hi honey! How are you?” She grabbed me up in a bear hug and when she let me go I said, “I’m good. I’m sorry I didn’t call. I was out for a run and I thought I’d just come by really quickly and say hello. Are you doing okay?”
“Fine,” she said, “Oh Alexa! Come in honey! I’m sorry.” She led me into the living room. It was dark in there like my room had been for that entire week I was so depressed and mad at the sun. The house was really clean though. I could probably run a white glove over things and come back without a speck of dust. I wondered if that was what she’d been doing with her time.
“The house looks really nice,” I said. It was for lack of anything better to say but I was surprised when she said, “Thank you. It’s all Ian. He comes by and cleans two or three times a week. I tell him not to, but it makes him feel better to help.” My heart swelled at that thought and at the same time I was angry at myself again for the assumptions I’d made about him. There was no way he was anything but a good man. Only a good man would take such good care of his family.
Dirty Biker (An MC Motorcycle Romance) (The Maxwell Family) Page 35
