“So you walked out on me when I needed you the most.”
Chapter Eighteen
Brock
“There was nothing I could do, right? You were in the hospital and me sitting by the bed watching you; well I just thought it would be pointless. Molly, I’m sorry. That was probably wrong…” That was when I walked up on this conversation. At first I held back, because I didn’t want to intrude…
“You think, Zack?” Molly was saying. She sounded annoyed, and if I wasn’t wrong, like she wanted him to go away.
His face was red now. Good, at least he felt a little bit ashamed. “Give me a chance to make it up to you Molly. This time will be different, I promise.”
“I don’t think so, Zack,” she said. “I’m not finished being sick. I wouldn’t want to spoil your college fun.” Nice sarcasm, she’s doing fine and as bad as I want to punch this guy I’m hanging back, letting her handle it.
“Maybe we could just hang out, you know, date. We don’t have to get into anything serious.” Wow, this guy was a piece of work. She opened her mouth and then closed it right away. I could tell that she was shocked too and didn’t know what to say. I hope she doesn’t get mad at me, but I couldn’t keep my mouth shut any more.
“She said she’s not interested.”
Zack’s head snapped up and he looked at me standing behind Molly. She looked at me too, shocked. It looked like she was wondering how long I’d been standing there. I was hoping she didn’t mind me getting involved but I couldn’t hold back any longer.
“Oh,” he said, standing up, looking back at Molly now, not at me. Then the big chicken-shit was saying, “Why didn’t you just say you had a boyfriend?”
I still wanted to punch him, more so now that he was implying if she didn’t have a boyfriend she would be desperate enough to take him back.
“I’m not lucky enough to be her boyfriend…yet,” I said. It was the truth, but I also wanted him to know that Molly didn’t need him, whether she had a boyfriend or not. “When or if I am, I guarantee you that I won’t tuck my balls and run the second that the going gets rough. I’m going to man up and be deserving of this fine, beautiful woman, unlike you. So run along cowardly pup and leave the lady be.”
Zack’s face was bright red now. I think he was more pissed than embarrassed. He looked like the kind of guy who had been the high school jock, the homecoming king, the guy all the girls wanted to go to the prom with. Now here he was being told off by a musician. He looked like he wasn’t going to leave for just a second, but first he looked at Molly, who was grinning and then he sized me up one more time. Then, proving he was the biggest loser ever he said, “Call me if you ever want to hang out, Molly.” Molly and I watched him walk away. Both of us in awe of the guy’s nerve I think. Finally, we made eye contact and laughed.
“I’m not even going to ask what you saw in that guy,” I said.
She just grinned and said, “Thanks, because I don’t know if I could answer it. Is it okay if I hang out at your apartment with you for a while, tonight?”
“Of course.” Yes please!
She went on then to say, “I think Meg and Jake have plans and I really don’t want to sit in the room by myself tonight.”
“Sure,” I said. “Although just for future information I would prefer something along the lines of, “I really can’t stand the thought of leaving you Brock; you’re so handsome and debonair. I can’t stand the thought of being away from you.”
She laughed, “Debonair, really? I don’t think I’ve ever used that word in a sentence.”
I have no idea where I heard it, probably an old movie. It sounded good though. She turned serious then and I forgot all the words as I listened to her say, “But handsome, you most definitely are. And your song to me….it gave me chills. And thank you for sticking up for me with Zack.” Now she looked like she wanted to kiss me. I thought about going in for it, but I remembered my promise to her. She would let me know when she was ready. My lips were aching.
“That guy doesn’t deserve a woman like you,” I told her. Then I remembered something and said, “I have a present for you.”
“A present? It’s not my birthday or anything.”
“It’s not a big deal. Just something I saw and thought of you,” I told her. “It’s in my bag on Suzie. But first…don’t you owe me a dance?”
“I believe I do,” she said. I led her out to the dance floor, timing it again when a slow song was playing. Go me! When we found an open spot, I turned to face her and pulled her into my chest. This time was different though, instead of holding onto my hands and leaning back somewhat, she had her head against my chest, one hand in mine, and the other on my shoulder. She felt so good against me like this, and without thinking I stooped over just a bit and I rested the side of my face against her head. I loved the way her silky hair felt against the side of my face, and of course I loved the way it smelled. The only problem with any of it was that the stupid song ended way too soon. It was so damned hard to let go.
“Thank you,” I told her with a smile.
“Thank you,” she told me. “I had such a great time listening to you play and sing tonight. You really are very good.”
I don’t admit this out loud, but I’m kind of a conceited guy. It’s not that I think I’m better than anyone else, or that I deserve more because I’m kind of good-looking and I can sing. But I know what my assets are, and because of being sick, and the deficits that brought with it, I’ve learned to use my assets to my advantage. Long story short, I wasn’t usually fazed by praise. I usually already knew what they were telling me about myself. With Molly though, like everything else I guess, it was different. Her praise went straight to a place of honor in my head and in my heart.
“Thank you,” I told her. “I’m really glad you came. Let’s go get your present.”
When we got to the bike I took the present out and handed it to her. It was wrapped in tissue paper.
“Can I open it?” she said. She was cute, like a little kid at Christmas time.
I nodded and smiled and she ripped off the paper. I felt bad at first, because as she saw it, tears sprung to her pretty brown eyes.
“Oh, Brock!” she said, and then she surprised us both I think by throwing her arms around me and giving me a hug. It was our first official hug…I think.
“It’s the most thoughtful present anyone has ever gotten for me.”
There’s a scene in Benny and Joon, where he puts an old Jack-in-the-Box on her front doorstep and knocks so when she opens it there’s nothing there but the box. It’s a really cute scene, and one of her favorites. The box was exactly the same and it looked about fifty years old.
“I saw it in the window of the antique store by the university and I thought of you instantly,” I told her, honestly, with a grin. I was glad she liked it so much.
“I love it, thank you.”
I handed her the helmet she wore when we rode Suzie and we climbed on the bike. Feeling her hold on to me as we rode has always been a great feeling, but tonight seemed different somehow. I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what it was, but it felt…safe, and warm and comfortable. I liked it…a lot.
Chapter Nineteen
Molly
While we were riding back to Brock’s apartment I had all kinds of things racing through my brain. First of all, I had been appalled at Zack’s nerve, to think I would have any interest in getting back together with him at all. I was really proud of Brock, and he even phrased what he said to make it look like I wasn’t some helpless little female that needed him to come to my rescue. He had wanted to do it. Go Brock!
Between him sticking up for me, and buying me a present, something inside of me shifted. It wasn’t the fact that he bought me any present, I’m not that easily bought, trust me. It was just that particular present. That told me that he wasn’t just trying to buy me or impress me the way another guy might with flowers or jewelry. What it said was that he really had to just be thinking
about me when he walked past that store. I wasn’t just saying so when I told him either, this was the absolute most thoughtful gift I had ever gotten. I will cherish it forever, my forever, however long that might be.
When we got to the apartment he offered me something to drink. I jokingly said…
“Coffee?”
He gave me a look, and I wondered if my grandmother had taught him that. I quickly laughed so that he knew I was joking and told him water would be fine. I sat on the couch while he fixed it and I did some soul searching. I wanted him to kiss me tonight…No, that’s not right. I did want him to kiss me, but I didn’t want him to stop there. I wanted him to make love to me. I wanted to feel myself in his arms and I wanted it to last all night. I don’t know why, but all of a sudden tonight it dawned on me that I was ready. I think it was seeing Zack again, kind of. It made me remember that Brock was kind and patient with me before he knew I was sick, and now that he knows, he’s still treating me like me. I’m sure it has something to do with the fact he’s been through it all before himself, but whatever it is…I know now that I’m falling for him. Even if it doesn’t last forever…my forever, I know now that I’m blessed just for having known him for a little while. I guess I also have to admit that after talking to Dr. Harris, I was also thinking about my own mortality. If I have to leave sometime soon, I at least want it to be with the memories of being in Brock’s warm, loving arms at least once.
He came back with the water and asked if I wanted to watch a movie. I considered just blurting out what was on my mind, but thank you God for filters, I thought better of it. I wanted him, but I didn’t want to sound as desperate and in need as I suddenly felt. He put on a movie and I honestly don’t even know what it was. It was like Brock and I were abruptly transported into a vacuum and nothing or no one else was around, or even mattered.
I looked up at him, and he was looking at me. I could see the desire there, and I didn’t want to fight it anymore. I put my hand on the side of his face, and I felt him shudder. It was almost a powerful kind of feeling that my hand could elicit such a strong reaction. I slipped my hand around to the back of his neck and as I pulled him down towards me, I saw the look of surprise in his blue eyes. After that, I closed mine and reveled in the feeling of his soft lips as his mouth crushed down over mine. We kissed with an intensity like nothing I had ever felt, and I knew now what romance novels were talking about when they said things like, “It took my breath away.” I literally couldn’t breathe, and the funny thing was that I didn’t care. I would gladly give it all up for the chance to stay in his arms with our lips pressed together like this forever.
When at last he had to take a breath, he pulled his head up, and in a winded voice he said, “Are you okay? I shouldn’t have…I mean I should have asked you…”
I smiled and told him, “It may have been hard to ask my permission when I was attacking you.”
He laughed, “Okay, good. For a minute there I wasn’t sure how that happened. I thought, kiss now, and think later.”
“Me too,” I told him. “But now that we’ve stopped kissing and I’ve had time to think…I don’t want to think, I want to kiss some more.”
I didn’t have to tell him twice. His lips were against mine again, and this time I felt him using his tongue to part mine. My hands were now clutching tightly around his head, my fingers wrapped up in his hair, and I was pulling him into me, afraid that he was going to stop. We explored each other’s mouths with our tongues, every once in a while Brock would stop to allow us to breathe and he’d use his tongue to softly trace my lips. That sent goosebumps like tiny little beacons of pleasure scurrying down my spine and out to every part of my body.
He had one hand on my waist, and the other on the back of my neck, pulling me into him as well. My skin was hot wherever he touched me, even through my clothes. I could feel the hand on my waist, inching my blouse up a little, just enough so that he could have contact with my bare skin. When he did, I felt him shudder again, and it was like touching a torch to a stick of dynamite. I used the hand that still held onto his head for leverage and I pulled myself up into his lap. That was when he stopped again. He pressed his forehead to mine so we were eye to eye as we panted and tried to catch our breath. When he had control of his once more he said, “Molly, we need to stop. If we go any further…”
Emboldened by the fact that I was now sitting on his lap with his strong arms around me, I said, “I don’t want to stop.” I never noticed before, how his eyes changed color, or maybe I had just never been this close to them before. But right now they were shifting from their normal beautiful light blue to a dark, intense one.
“You don’t have to do this Molly. I want to be with you…so bad. But it doesn’t have to be now. I’ll wait for you, as long as you need me to.”
“I don’t want to wait any longer,” I told him. “I want you now, Brock. I’m sure. No worries, okay?”
He still looked a little worried, but I could tell that the hormones were driving him even harder. He kissed me again, and as we kissed I felt his hand begin to fondle the buttons on my blouse. He wasn’t undoing them; he was just…touching each one of them as if he were still trying to figure out whether or not we should do this. He was worried about me, and that was sweet and for a guy his age, downright amazing. But I was on fire, and I didn’t want him changing his mind because he was afraid that I would have regrets. As his lips slid from my lips down to my neck, I made the decision for him. With one hand I continued to caress his soft hair as he kissed me, and with the other I undid the buttons on my blouse. When I was finished and it was open to where, when he opened his eyes, he was looking right down into my lacy pink bra, I felt the muscles in his arms go taut and he sucked in a breath that reverberated through him.
He put his hot lips on my shoulder then, and kissed each one as he pushed the blouse the rest of the way off down my arms. He stopped again for like half a second and this time I only nodded. He slipped his hand around my back and unfastened my bra. He made a low growling kind of sound deep in his throat as my breasts spilled out and then he said, “Let’s go in the bedroom.” I was glad he had thought of it. Jake and I were already too close, seeing each other in a compromising position might take it further than either of us wanted. I stood up, feeling slightly embarrassed by the fact that I was completely exposed. But the look in his eyes was enough to convince me that I wanted him to see me, and touch me.
He led me to the bedroom by my hand and shut and locked the door behind us. He tossed my blouse and bra that he had kindly picked up and brought with us aside, and then he took me in his arms again, crushing my naked breasts against his chest this time as we kissed. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and tugged on it. When it got up over his abdomen, he stopped kissing me long enough to pull it over his head and allow it to join my clothes on the floor. He just looked at me then, the light wasn’t on, but there was enough moonlight coming through the blinds that I could see how beautiful he was. He touched me, softly just above one of my breasts and then traced his finger across and around them as he said in a husky voice, “Molly, you’re the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever seen.”
I shuddered at that, or at what he was now doing to my breasts with his fingers, or both. He kissed me again on my lips, this time leading me backwards towards the bed. Before he laid me down, he unhooked my skirt and let it fall to my ankles. I kicked it the rest of the way off as I lay down and I watched as he unfastened his jeans and let them fall to the floor. He lay down next to me then, kissed my lips and then my neck and then my breast. Then he used his lips to brush over the nipple softly, sending another electric shock coursing through me. I lay there in ecstasy for the next fifteen or twenty minutes while he explored my body, moaning and shuddering sometimes as if he were the one being pleasured. I was doing some moaning of my own though, and when I finally couldn’t stand it any longer I took both sides of his face in my hands and guided him back up to my lips. While we were kissing I felt
his hand drifting down again across my collarbone and then my stomach, down to the line where my panties began. He traced them, softly, erotically, driving me mad once again. Then he moved his hand down to my thigh and he ran his fingers up one and down the other, each time coming closer to touching the spot in the middle that would drive me over the edge.
I ran my fingers down his back as he caressed me, careful not to dig too deep and put my nails into him, until at last he did go up far enough to slip his hand underneath the edge of my panties. He sighed as he felt my wetness, and I tensed up every muscle in my body as I felt his fingers caressing me there. It was a surreal feeling almost, and I lost myself in it. The sounds coming from low in my throat didn’t even sound like my own voice as I moved my hips on the bed under his touch. I reached over then, and I touched him through his boxer shorts. I had never felt a man before; it was surreal, but it felt so right and it drove me to want more. I was shocked by my own boldness as I slipped my hand down across his hard abdomen and into the top of his shorts. I felt his body jump almost convulsively and I thought I had done something wrong, but when I started to take my hand away he led it back to where it had been. We lay there like that for a while, just touching and discovering each other. Then in one swift move, Brock lost his shorts, and removed my panties, the last two barriers between us. He lifted himself up on his strong arms and I traced the outline of the tattoos on them as I looked into his pretty eyes. He asked me one more time before slipping on the condom that had suddenly appeared in his hand, “Molly, are you sure?” I nodded. I was sure, a thousand times so. He was so gentle as he worked himself into me. I hadn’t told him I was a virgin, but I’m sure it wasn’t hard to figure out. I had heard so much about the pain that at that second I was nervous, but then I felt him nudge through to where he needed to be and we were suddenly both plunging head first off of the edge of the virtual cliff we had been dangling from. As we moved our hips together, he kept whispering my name. It gave me chills to hear him say it, breathless and intense. My head was swimming, but that was fine because my body had completely taken over. It was like it knew exactly what to do and it led me to a point of climax that took whatever rational thought was left in my head away. His entire body tensed and convulsed then, and he shuddered and collapsed on top of me. I could feel him trying to catch his breath, and his heart as it pounded against his chest…or was that mine? He tried to move, thinking he was crushing me, but I clutched onto him, wanting to keep him right there with nothing between our hearts but skin that glistened with the sweat of our lovemaking.
Dirty Biker (An MC Motorcycle Romance) (The Maxwell Family) Page 61
