“And so yer going to make the sacrifice and force yerself to do the right thing, is that it?”
The sheepish grin on Blane’s face was all the answer Colin needed.
“Blessings on you, then, Cousin, for many years of happiness together. Does the lady have any idea what you’ve planned for her?”
Blane shook his head, the grin still firmly fixed in place. “I’ve no yet found quite the proper time to broach the subject. But I will. Soon.”
“Aye, well, you might want to drop a word or two about our…um…unusual heritage.” For lack of a better description. More than one person had been put off by the idea of marrying into a family of Fae descendants. As well they should.
“I’m no seeing that as a problem.” Blane shrugged his shoulders. “The lady would appear to be past her childbearing years, so it’s no like I’d be passing along any gifts to offspring.” The frown that flitted across Blane’s face was gone as quickly as it came. “Speaking of our companions, I’ll go check on them now.”
As he watched his cousin make his way back through the trees toward their campsite, Colin suspected it was the madness Blane’s father and brother had suffered that kept his cousin from wanting children, not the gifts of their Fae-tainted blood.
But that was only because Blane himself hadn’t been cursed with any of the Fae gifts. If he had, he’d know there was more to fear in the world than ordinary madness.
His curiosity piqued, Colin reached out again, searching for his brother’s soul with his own awareness, testing.
Yes, it was Caden and one other that he felt. And yet it was somehow different, as if neither one was quite complete. He could feel the jagged edges on each of their souls.
As if it would take both souls to make a whole.
Colin stood, staring into the inky night in the direction he felt his brother. They were within a day’s ride of one another now.
He smiled and turned back toward camp.
Whatever it was his awareness was touching on, he’d know before another night fell. Tomorrow should prove a most interesting day.
Thirty
Staring is rude and you were brought up better than that.
Her mother’s words rang in her mind as Ellie sipped from her cup, trying her best not to be obvious about the staring she was doing. All the same, she couldn’t seem to help herself.
These were the men Caden had risked his life to save.
Just before sundown, she and Caden had stopped to make camp. They’d barely finished gathering wood for their fire when this group had showed up.
She’d listened wide-eyed as Blane had told the story of their escape, sounding like someone recounting the plot of the latest movie he’d just gone to see.
Ellie could almost believe that the case if she didn’t have the visual proof of just how real it all was sitting around the campfire with her now.
With the exception of the one named Simeon, every single one of them looked as if they’d had the crap beaten out of them, even that sweet little Lady Baxter.
Ellie felt as if her heart missed a couple of beats, her breath catching at the realization of what could have happened to Caden if he’d actually made it all the way to that awful Wode Castle. What would she have done if…
She stopped midthought, reminding herself she was completely furious with Caden. She would not be worrying about him anymore. She absolutely refused to. A damn good ass-kicking might be exactly what he needed to knock him off that pedestal he lived on.
As if he knew her thoughts touched on him, he walked over to her, offering to refill her cup.
She shook her head in refusal, giving him her best “go away” look. Instead of taking her hint, he sat down by her side, leaning close to whisper in her ear.
“Well? What do you think of Colin? Is it not exactly as I said it would be?”
He looked so serious, so concerned, she hesitated, debating what she really wanted to say.
Whatever magic first impression Caden had expected her to have of his brother, it wasn’t there. Exactly as she’d known it wouldn’t be. Oh, Colin was handsome enough, in a brooding, big, dark warrior sort of way. If you wanted that sort. Which she didn’t.
She reminded herself that she didn’t want the brooding, big sheepherder sort, either.
“Sorry to disappoint you, cowboy. I didn’t see a single star.” She set down her empty cup and stood, suddenly finding that she’d had all she could take of the reunion chatter and needed some alone time. “I’ll be back in a while.”
Caden grabbed the hem of her skirt, slowing her departure. “Perhaps Colin should accompany you to see to yer safety, aye?”
Colin paused his conversation long enough to give them both a look, his eyebrows raised in question.
“I don’t think so. Baby’s all the protection I need, thank you very much.”
She jerked her skirt from Caden’s fingers and hurried to the forest’s edge, deciding as she reached the trees to make her way to the river beyond. It wasn’t far, and truly, she did feel safe with Baby at her side.
Sitting down on the bank of the river, she stared into the dark water. The moonlight glinted off the fast-moving eddies, shimmering and dancing before her. If she closed her eyes, peeking through just the tiniest slit, she could almost imagine herself home, on the bank of her own river the night she’d been zapped away. As if none of it had ever happened.
A wave of sadness swept over her at the thought, and she rested her chin on her propped-up knees.
If none of this had happened, she never would have met Caden, never would have shared with him the experience at that little pool, never would have shared part of him, if only for such a brief time. And though she still worked to convince herself that she hated, detested, completely loathed him right now for wanting to get rid of her so badly he’d try pawning her off on his brother, she wouldn’t have missed that experience for the world.
The glistening water danced before her, only slightly more shimmery through the tears forming in her eyes. The distortion gave the water an almost magical look.
The river! Maybe that was the source of the magic and her way home.
She blinked back the tears, refusing to admit she was grasping at straws.
She’d been by the river when the magic had first swept her away. And when she’d seen it the second time, she was once again at a river’s edge.
That had to be it.
Because it wasn’t saving the sheep, or saving Caden’s life, or even saving Caden’s brother.
And the only other alternative was unacceptable. Being in love with someone who didn’t want you? No, that was just too painful to even contemplate.
It had to be the water.
“I wish…” She stopped and wiped at the tears rolling down her cheeks. Was it just the blur in her vision or had the moonlight on the waves taken on a greenish cast? “I wish…”
“Are you well?”
She jumped at the sound of Caden’s voice as he came out of the trees behind her, taking another quick swipe at her eyes before she stood. “Of course I am,” she snapped.
He grasped her arms and pulled her to him, then let go to wipe her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.
“Dinna cry, wee Elliedenton. To see you so fair breaks—”
He stopped and swayed toward her, as if pulled to her by an invisible string. Or was it her leaning into him, inexorably drawn to the man who didn’t want her? His lips parted, and for just that one instant she could swear he intended to kiss her again. If he did, all would be lost because she knew she didn’t have it in her to resist him.
Instead he cleared his throat and dropped his hands to his sides. “You’ll see yer stars one day. I’m sure of it. Just give Colin a chance.”
With that worthless piece of advice, he turned back toward their camp, stopping for only a minute before he entered the trees, speaking without looking her direction. “You’ll hurry back to camp, aye? We’ve an early start tomorrow.”
> And then he was gone.
What was she going to do?
Rosalyn was convinced it was hunting her true love that had brought her here. Caden was convinced that her true love was his brother. And she was convinced that whatever it was, it all hurt like hell.
Things didn’t change and he was all the more fool for thinking they would.
Caden stomped back toward camp, frustration running rampant through his blood.
He, of all people, should know better.
Blane had confided earlier that he planned to wed the Lady Baxter and Caden had grasped onto the news. Not with joy that his cousin had finally, after all these years, found the one woman to share his life, but with a selfish purpose.
If love could happen for Blane, perhaps there was hope for him.
And then, as they’d all prepared to turn in for the night, Colin had announced his intent to go find the foolish little woman who had wandered away from camp and Caden had seen red. Ellie wouldn’t appreciate being called either a little woman or foolish, and he found himself feeling irritation at someone applying those labels to her.
So he’d gone off to find her himself, fresh hope blooming in his heart. If anyone deserved to be labeled foolish, surely it was he.
He’d found her, all right. Venting her sorrow, tears streaming down her cheeks.
He continued as he always had, bringing pain to those who were important to him.
His first thought had been to do whatever, say whatever would make the pain disappear. But then he’d held her close and looked into her eyes, and all he could think of was how much he wanted her, wanted to take her right then, right there at the river’s edge.
He’d had to force himself to let her go, a task that had taken everything he had in him. One he now knew he couldn’t repeat.
As soon as they returned to Dun Ard, he’d speak privately with Colin. Once his brother and Ellie were wed, they could take up residence at Sithean Fardach. He’d do whatever he could to restore the old castle for them.
Until then, perhaps she’d be willing to stay with Sallie at the MacPherson keep.
Anything to get her away from Dun Ard. Away from him.
Because he feared he could not be strong enough to stay away from her.
Thirty-one
“No, I willna help you. It’s no safe for you to be outside the gates. Especially as we’ve no idea whether or no Wodeford will come seeking his sister.” Rosalyn stood and placed her needlework on the small table between them before heading to the door of her solar.
“But don’t you understand? I need to get to a river. I’m sure that’s the key to my getting home.” It had to be. Ellie couldn’t accept anything else.
“It’s no the river, lass.” Rosalyn stopped at the door, turning. “I’ve told you. It’s yer Soulmate you seek, the other half of yer own self. And when you open yer heart to that, open yer heart to him, that’s when the magic will come to you, when yer souls have come together and yer whole.”
“Wouldn’t this being whole mean he’d have to feel the same way about me?” If she even believed in this Soulmate thing, that is. Which she didn’t. Wouldn’t.
“It does.”
“Well, there you go, then. That’s not happening. There’s no one here who…” She paused as she thought of her conversation with Caden. “No one who makes me see stars. I can’t imagine finding this Soulmate of mine, so I can’t accept that as the reason I’m here.”
Rosalyn’s eyes narrowed, her gaze piercing as if the woman looked into Ellie’s very heart before she tilted her head and smiled. “It’s no stars you want to see, is it? It’s the lovely green glow of yer magic. Be honest with yerself, lass, even if you’d no be honest with me. Yer heart’s already recognized him, has it no?”
Ellie’s pulse pounded in her ears. Was it even possible Rosalyn knew what had happened with Caden? If she did, she should know that he’d rejected her. That he wanted nothing more to do with her than to hand her off to his brother to get rid of her.
It didn’t matter.
She shook her head to get rid of the painful thoughts. Her being with Caden had absolutely zero chance of happening. And anyway, she forcefully reminded herself, it couldn’t be him. He didn’t want her and she couldn’t tolerate him. He infuriated her and she hated him.
If only she could make herself remember that, everything would be so much easier.
Rosalyn crossed back to where Ellie stood, placing a hand on Ellie’s cheek. “There’s a fine line between love and hate that’s much like the edge of a well-honed sword, dangerously thin and sharp. A slip off either side of that line hurts as badly as any steel ever could, regardless of which side of the weapon delivers the wound.” She leaned in and kissed Ellie’s forehead, giving her a little hug in the process. “You’ve proven yerself no to be a foolish woman, Ellie. Dinna allow yer pride to rob you of yer happiness. You’ll think on that, aye?”
Rosalyn turned and quietly left the room, leaving Ellie to stare at the empty doorway for several minutes after her departure, unwilling to fully grasp what had just happened. Was it blind luck or had the woman actually known what she was thinking?
“Blind luck. And even at that, she’s wrong,” Ellie said at last, her words echoing in the empty room. She had to be.
Or at the very least, Ellie hoped she was. Because accepting the other was just too painful.
“First I try the river, and then, if that doesn’t work, I’ll…no.” She stopped herself. The river would work. She wouldn’t even consider failure.
Now, if she could just find a way out of the keep.
What a pigheaded, willful lass!
Rosalyn stood in the center of the great hall, her tapping foot the only outward sign of her agitation.
“Making her the perfect match for my Caden,” she murmured to herself.
Though both of them seemed determined to go out of their way to waste their one chance at true happiness. Ellie refused to accept what was right in front of her and Caden had taken off to the fields in a mad rush this morning, clearly hoping to avoid any contact with the lass.
Rosalyn chewed at her lip in frustration. All this stubborn confusion and her absolutely helpless to change things, bound by a promise made to her own true love all those years ago.
What to do?
“Might I be of any assistance?”
Rosalyn jumped, her hand flying to her heart. “Catriona! I dinna hear you approach. You fair frightened five years off my life!”
“My apologies for intruding on yer privacy, Lady Rosalyn. You appeared to be in some distress. I only thought to help if I could.”
Rosalyn considered the woman as she drew near, her gentle spirit shining about her. She did like this lady who would soon be her niece. Maybe a fresh, unbiased mind would be just the thing.
“Perhaps you can at that,” she responded, linking her arm through Catriona’s. “Walk with me to the kitchens and I’ll explain my dilemma. You see, I’ve a need to do something to help one of my children, but doing so would cause me to break a vow I made long ago to someone very important to me. I’m torn as to how to proceed.”
“Ah,” Catriona sighed, her soft brown eyes lighting with a smile. “A problem of perception and details. I believe this is something I can help you with.”
They’d reached the kitchen, moving through the bustle of workers to a quiet corner.
“Perception and details?” Rosalyn’s interest piqued. Already Catriona framed the problem differently.
Her companion nodded. “Whenever I find what I want to do at odds with what I’m bound to do, I carefully examine the promise I made. Often I find my perception of that promise and the actual words can be somewhat different, leaving me room to act as I felt drawn to in the first place.”
“What an interesting way of looking at an inconvenient promise.” Rosalyn tapped a fingertip against her chin, letting her mind wing its way back to that long-ago day.
Even at the very last, Duncan’s co
ncerns were for her.
“Swear it to me, wife. I canna go on through the curtain of this life filled with worry over what might happen to you. I’d have yer vow.”
Though events had worked out exactly as they should when she’d cast the spell to help her nephew, Connor, Duncan had never gotten over the fear that someone would accuse her of witchcraft.
It was such a simple request. Only a few words to keep him happy and she would gladly do anything for her beloved Duncan, even this.
“I promise, husband. I’ll no use the magic to interfere in our children’s lives, no even to bring them together with their one true love.”
“No spells or visits to the Faerie Glen, aye? I’d have yer promise.”
“I swear it, my love. I’ll no use my magic for such a purpose.”
Her magic!
Both the memory and the discovery brought a smile to Rosalyn’s face. Catriona had been absolutely correct. She’d been too focused on the problem to see the obvious solution.
She’d vowed not to use her magic. But there was nothing in that promise preventing simple, old-fashioned motherly interfering.
“There’s power in words, is there no?” the woman asked.
Rosalyn laughed and threw her arms around Catriona, giving the surprised woman a quick hug. “That there is, my dear. Have I told you what a joy it’s going to be having you here?”
Now to get down to the business at hand.
“Bridey, I need you to send one of yer helpers to find my sons and bring them to his lairdship’s solar right away.”
“But Master Caden’s gone up to check on the sheep, Lady Rosalyn. I heard the men speaking of it when I served breakfast.”
Rosalyn smiled at the child with the wild red hair who’d interrupted, the same one she’d noticed Ellie had taken a liking to.
“That’s right, lass, and all the better for my needs that he’s gone for the day. It’s Colin and Drew I need to speak with.”
A Highlander of Her Own Page 22
