She raised her eyebrows. Doctors were usually a last resort, seen only after homeopathic remedies had been used. But she had done everything she could think of to relieve her cramps. She’d come to dread that week of the month.
“You’re probably right. But doctors are expensive.”
“Make an appointment, Rachel Ann.”
She’d nearly had to call in sick one day this week . . . maybe seeing the doctor would prevent it. Suffering the pain was bad enough, but to miss work just wasn’t done.
Rachel Ann ate the toast and took several sips of coffee, but she couldn’t handle more than that. She just didn’t like coffee.
“Where’s Sam?”
“He’s in the barn with your dat.” She glanced at the clock. “It’s time to leave.”
Rachel Ann got up and carried her plate and cup to the sink. The ibuprofen hadn’t started working yet, but maybe by the time they reached the Stoltzfus house where services were being held she’d feel better. She reminded herself after the service she and Abram had plans for lunch and a drive.
He had already taken a seat in the men’s section of the room and looked up and smiled when she walked in. She smiled in return and took a seat with the women. As she’d expected, it was hard to sit on a hard bench, but Ben Troyer inspired her with his message from the book of Mark, and when the assemblage began singing a favorite hymn, it seemed something in her relaxed and the pain slipped away.
“You’re looking pretty,” Abram told her quietly after the service. “Blue’s my favorite color on you.”
It was also the favored color for wedding dresses in her community. She felt color rush into her cheeks. Was he trying to send a message? She glanced up at him but couldn’t tell.
“Are you ready to leave?”
She nodded. “What about your mamm?”
“She’s riding home with your parents.”
“Gut.”
“Where shall we go?” he asked as they walked toward the front door.
“It’s your turn to choose.”
They feasted on hot meatball subs and cannoli at an Italian restaurant and then took a drive.
The combination of the rich, heavy food and the gentle motion of the buggy on top of a restless, pain-filled night made Rachel Ann drowsy.
She woke with her cheek resting on Abram’s shoulder. He held the reins in his left hand and his right arm held her close. The feeling of contentment, of being cherished was too tempting. She lay still, not wanting to move. But it wasn’t proper for two unmarried people to be seen in such close contact.
Reluctantly, she stirred and scooted out from under his arm. “Sorry, I fell asleep.”
He shot her a grin. “So I already put you to sleep.”
She laughed. “Nee, I just didn’t sleep well last night. Then we had such a big lunch.”
“What did you think of John and Rosemary’s announcement?”
“I was surprised,” she said carefully. “I didn’t know they were dating. I haven’t had much time to talk with friends lately. Did you know?”
He shook his head. “I’ve been working a lot and haven’t talked to friends much lately either.”
Well, he’d seen Saul and Elizabeth, but he didn’t feel he should share their news. Then he glanced at Rachel Ann and wondered if she knew about the baby.
“What?” she asked when she saw he was looking at her.
“I stopped in at Saul and Elizabeth’s store when I was in town the day you and I had lunch.”
“Oh?”
“They were doing well.”
“Gut.” She eyed him. Where was he going with this? “I had lunch with her last week.”
Their gazes met and she saw humor in his eyes. Then at the same time they said, “You know!” and they laughed.
He reached across the distance between them, and she slipped her hand in his. They sat a respectable distance apart to anyone who passed them. But the connection felt intimate and so strong.
12
Rachel Ann told herself it was time to call Michael and tell him she didn’t want to see him any longer.
She wasn’t sure she needed to do it. He hadn’t stopped by since the day she’d talked to him. But it was the right thing to do. Besides, she didn’t want him stopping by and have to deal with it at an unexpected time.
So she went outside to the phone shanty and dialed the number he’d given her.
He sounded surprised when he answered. After all, she never called him.
“Rachel Ann? Is something wrong? You never call me. Did you get a cell phone?”
He’d asked her to do it to make it more convenient for them to stay in contact and reminded her other Amish had cell phones, but he didn’t seem to believe her when she said she couldn’t afford it.
“No. Listen, Michael, I’m just calling to say I won’t be seeing you anymore.”
“You’re dumping me?”
“I wouldn’t call it that, I just—”
“You’re dumping me?” he demanded.
“I’m not dumping you. This isn’t about you. I just don’t want to date someone who isn’t Amish. Michael, if we had worked out, and you wanted to get married—”
“Whoa, who’s talking marriage?”
She almost laughed at the alarm in his voice. “We date to find a marriage partner in my community, Michael,” she continued, “If we married, I’d have to leave my church, my family, my community. I don’t want to do it.”
He sighed. “Oh. Okay.”
“It’s for the best,” she told him. “I enjoyed knowing you and wish you the best.”
“Whatever.”
“Merry Christmas,” she said, but she heard him disconnect the call.
She thought about the conversation as she washed dishes after supper. Part of why she’d begun dating Michael was a curiosity about the Englisch world. He was so different from the Amish men she knew. She’d heard the expression “opposites attract.”
But what she’d found was that Michael might be intriguing but he wasn’t as mature as she’d expected. And in the end, as she’d told him, she wasn’t interested in leaving her community. And he certainly wasn’t interested in offering marriage.
Just as she was finishing up with the dishes she heard a knock on the back door. “Come in!” she called.
Abram stuck his head in. “I thought I’d see if we could go for a drive.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m watching Sam until he goes to bed. Mamm has a headache, and Daed’s in the barn working on a rush project for the furniture store. You can come in if you want, though.”
“Abram!” Sam cried from his seat at the kitchen table. He held out his arms for a hug, and Abram bent to lift him into his arms.
“Gut to see you, Sam. Hey, did you draw this?” Abram asked, looking down at the drawing Sam had made with crayons.
“Ya,” Sam said, his smile fading.
“Rachel Ann? Did you see this?” Abram looked over at her.
She wiped her hands on a dish towel and walked over to look at the drawing Sam had been making. Sam had drawn a little boy with blond hair and a cast on his leg. The boy had big fat tears sliding down his cheeks.
“Who’s this, Sam?” she asked gently, knowing the answer to her question.
“Me,” he said, and the corners of his mouth turned down.
“What’s wrong, Sam? Why are you feeling so sad?”
He shrugged.
“I think I know what’s wrong,” Abram told her. “I’ll be right back.”
When he returned a few minutes later, he plucked her jacket and Sam’s from the pegs near the door. “We’re going for a drive,” he told them. “I asked your daed and he said we could. A quick one.”
Sam beamed while Abram helped him with his jacket and flung his arms around Abram’s neck when he lifted him. Mystified, Rachel Ann slipped on her jacket and followed Abram out the back door.
He put Sam in the back seat of his buggy and tucked a quilt around him. Tu
rning to Rachel Ann, he helped her into the buggy.
“Where are we going?” Sam wanted to know.
“You’ll see.”
Abram shot her a grin. “I think Sam’s getting tired of being cooped up in the house,” he told her.
“He is,” she agreed. “The doctor said he’ll have his cast off soon, though, right, Sam?”
“Nee,” he said, and he sounded sulky.
“Sam, he said after Christmas,” Rachel Ann reminded him. “It’s not long now.”
“It is to a four-year-old,” Abram said in a low voice.
She sighed. “True.”
“Where we goin’, Abram?”
“You’ll see.”
“You said that already.”
“You asked me already,” he responded. “You’ll like where we’re going.”
A few minutes later Abram pulled into the parking lot of a convenience store. He got out and helped Sam out of the back seat. “We’ll be right back,” he told Rachel Ann. “Sorry, but just us guys are going in.”
Sam chortled. “Just us guys.”
She watched them go inside. Abram handed Sam a small shopping basket, and the two of them walked up and down the aisles filling it with she had no idea what. Finally, they emerged carrying plastic shopping bags.
“Did you buy out the store?” she asked as Abram tucked Sam back in his seat.
Sam giggled. “No, we left some stuff for other people.” He dug into one of the bags and held out a Drumstick ice cream cone to her.
“Why, danki, it’s my favorite!” she said, touched that he remembered.
“I know. Abram tole me.”
She glanced at him. “Oh?”
“Ya,” Sam said. “And I got him—”
“An ice cream sandwich,” she finished.
“Ya! How’d you know?”
She turned to smile at her brother. “Because I’ve known Abram for a long, long time. And you got a Fudgsicle.” She sat back in her seat and looked at Abram. “Was that a gut idea?”
“It shouldn’t be a problem. It’s not going to melt as quickly as if it was summer.”
“Well, we’ll see if your theory proves correct,” she said dryly.
“It won’t take long to get home.”
She noticed he signaled to his horse to speed up a moment later.
“What else did you get?” she asked Sam.
The plastic bags rattled as he investigated the contents. “Sparkle glue,” he said, holding it up for her to see. “I’m going to make Chris-mas cards. Lots o’ other stuff, too.”
“Sam? Where’s your Fudgsicle?”
“On the seat right here,” he told her in a cheerful voice.
It was hard to see Abram’s face in the dim light but she thought she saw him wince. “The upholstery’s washable,” he said.
“Sam, eat the Fudgsicle and don’t make a mess.”
“Allrecht,” he said cheerfully. “But it’s got a little fuzz on it now, Rachel Ann.”
“Give it to me and I’ll wipe it off,” she told him, chuckling at Abram’s expression of dismay.
“Here.” Sam handed her the ice cream bar.
Rachel Ann stared down at the cold chocolate mess in her hand. Why had she thought he’d hand it to her with the stick end? He was only four. She sneaked a look at Abram and saw him grinning.
She used her free hand to dig in her purse for a tissue, wiped the fuzz from the bar, and handed it back to Sam. “No more ice cream in the buggy,” she told Abram sternly.
“Yes, ma’am.”
As they rode home, Rachel Ann found herself thinking about how good Abram was with Sam. He’d make a good dat, Abram would.
“You’re quiet tonight,” he said, breaking into her thoughts.
She blushed, glad he couldn’t know what she was thinking.
* * *
Abram kept finding his thoughts going to the church service of the past weekend.
Most Amish weddings took place in the fall here, with some scheduled in December and few in the month of January. The upcoming marriage of two church members had started him thinking.
Things had been going well between him and Rachel Ann. If only she’d joined the church . . . they could get married now. Instead, they would have to wait until next fall.
He sighed. There was no point in thinking that way. After all, he couldn’t change things. He was happy they were dating.
The trouble was, he was a man. He wanted more. He wanted to have her as his fraa, in his home, not in the one next door. He wanted to see her first thing in the morning, eat supper with her every evening, and climb the stairs to their room with her at night. He wanted to have kinner with her, put down roots.
He shook his head, trying to force his thoughts down a more acceptable path. A walk, some fresh air was what he needed. He left the barn and walked his fields.
Rachel Ann found him there, her smile a warm beacon on a gray, cloudy day. The cool late fall breeze whipped her forest green dress around her body, alternately molding then concealing her slender shape.
“It’s gut to see you,” he said, trying not to think about if they were married he could give her a kiss, hold her hand, suggest—no, he couldn’t go there.
She stared at him, looking puzzled. “What?”
He hesitated. “I was just thinking if you’d joined the church, we could be making plans to get married now.”
She blushed. “But we just started dating.”
“I know how I feel. I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.”
“But . . . I . . .” Overwhelmed, she pressed her fingers against her mouth. “I don’t know what to say. I didn’t know how you felt, that you wanted more. I just came to the realization for myself recently. In a way, maybe it’s a good thing we can’t get married right away. Marriage is forever. We need to make sure what we feel will last.”
“My feelings aren’t going to change,” he said quietly. “Do you think yours will?”
“Nee. But I think we don’t need to be in a rush. We should enjoy the time and get to know each other better.” She looked around. “I guess it’s kind of like your fields. There’s a time for everything.”
“You mean like Ecclesiastes? ‘There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.’ ”
She nodded and smiled at him. “You have the patience to tend your crops. The next months will take some patience, but after the harvest . . .”
“I can wait, if I know we’ll be together.”
Her smile grew brighter. She held out her hand, and he clasped it. They might have stood there longer, but the wind grew cooler and she shivered.
“You should get inside. You don’t want to catch cold.”
She turned to walk back to her house, and he joined her.
“I forgot. I came out here to ask you if you wanted to eat supper with us tomorrow night. Sam has something he wants to give you.”
“Give me?”
“Ya, he kind of likes you.”
“I kind of like him, too. I think it’d be pretty amazing to have a couple like him.” He chuckled. “You’re blushing.”
“Don’t tease.”
“Ya, a couple little boys and a couple little girls.”
“You’ve done some thinking about this.”
“I have. Have you?”
“Some. But it’s up to God. He gives us what we should have.”
“True.”
They’d reached his house. “I’ll go tell my mother I’m eating with you and your family.”
“The invitation includes her as well.”
“She’ll be there. She kind of likes Sam as well.”
Rachel Ann laughed. “Sam has all of us wrapped around his little finger.”
“His sticky little finger.”
“Did you get the Fudgsicle out of the upholstery?”
“Mamm had the perfect thing to clean it. Says she had great experience cleaning up after another messy little boy. Can’t
imagine who she’s talking about. Must be one of my bruders.”
“Schur. See you tomorrow at six?”
“We’ll be there.”
He watched her walk to her house and go inside. Turning back to the barn, he made sure his horses were fed and watered and his tools were put away.
The spicy scent of chili and cornbread hit him the minute he walked into the kitchen. “Hungry?”
“Always, especially for your chili.” He sat down and sprinkled some shredded cheese on top of his bowl of chili. “We’ve been invited to supper next door tomorrow. Rachel Ann said the invitation came from Sam.”
“How sweet. We were all blessed when Martha had him. I know having a baby so many years after Rachel Ann was a surprise. But what a wunderbaar surprise.”
Abram remembered the conversation he’d had with Rachel Ann out in the fields. He found himself looking at all the empty chairs around the big wooden table his father had built. Sometimes he missed his two bruders and his schwesder, but they were older and married and had their own kinner; now they sat at this table only at holidays. It was just him and his mamm until he married and brought his fraa home.
Rachel Ann had said they shouldn’t be in a rush, and they should enjoy the time and get to know each other better. There was a time for everything, she’d added.
He looked at his mother. Maybe this was a time to enjoy his time not just with Rachel Ann but with others as well. His mother looked tired tonight, and he thought she moved a little awkwardly as if she was in pain.
“How was your day?” he asked her. “You had a doctor’s appointment today, didn’t you? What did she say?”
Abram listened while she told him, then at his prompting went on to relate how she and a friend had met for lunch and did some shopping at Stitches in Time. When they finished supper and the apple crisp she’d made for dessert, he insisted he should do the dishes so she could rest after her busy day.
As the sink filled with water he looked over at Rachel Ann’s house. He could see the family sitting at the kitchen table. Tomorrow, he and his mother would be joining them. He’d been invited to supper at their house many times, but he found himself a little impatient to be part of that family unit and be close to Rachel Ann.
* * *
The drive into work gave Rachel Ann time to think about what Abram had said the night before about her joining the church.
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