by Holly Hood
“So explain this to me again,” Frankie said, running his hand against the window pane. He effortlessly slid the window open. Sam grumbled some obscenities about his cat burglar ways and then climbed in. “You have been living off the girl you want to marry. The one you can’t sleep with because you don’t want to kill her.”
Sam shut the window hiding his frustration.
This only caused the doorbell to ring out unremittingly.
“And how nourishing is foreplay?” Frankie smirked, taking a seat in his brother’s living room once he let him in. “You can’t even kiss a chick without wanting to rip her head off. Man, I got to give it to you.”
Sam dropped down on the sofa. His head was pounding. He was starved and he was sure he needed about a day’s worth of sleep to come back from his latest hangover. “If you are being serious, yes, it’s hard. But I care about her and I’m willing to go through with it.”
As much as Sam despised Frankie, he also kind of enjoyed having him around to go back and forth with. Frankie was the only person who understood where he was coming from. And at one time he did truly care about his brother. It was his father that turned Frankie into such a complete glutton for woman. It was also their father who turned Frankie against their mother.
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll accidentally kill her over time?” Frankie asked. This time he was serious. “The more contact you have of any sexual nature drains the victim. They want more, you deny them and it all ends up the same way.”
“It’s been a year. She’s fine,” Sam insisted.
Frankie sat up. Suddenly he had an idea. “Did you ever think about just telling her?”
The look on Sam’s face told him all he needed to know.
“If you want to marry this girl that would mean you think she accepts you and loves you. I mean, that’s what I gather from all the cornballs running around here tying the knot. So, if you think she is amazing enough to marry, why not be honest with her?”
Frankie sighed when his theory fell dead as a doornail before him. Sam wasn’t willing to budge. “This is why I stick to being an evil son of a bitch. I don’t have to worry about anyone else’s feelings, just my own.”
Sam ignored Frankie’s brash words. He needed a shower before Delaney showed back up. He wanted to talk to her. To figure out if there was anything he could do to patch up what was left of their relationship.
“You got to go,” he said, heading over to the door with his brother. “I need to clean up. Thanks for everything.”
Frankie looked past his brother’s cold stare into his soul. He knew better than anyone when he was trying to hide behind blankness. Frankie knew Sam thought with a small amount of exertion and enough blocking the world out he would get what he wanted. And that was solitude. Maybe he was a lot more like his brother then he realized.
“What do you think you’re going to do?” Frankie asked, planting his feet firmly where he stood, refusing to just leave upon request. This produced a callous puff of air from Sam.
“I’m going to take a shower. Then I am going to wait for her to come home so we can talk this out.” Sam ticked off.
“It’s not going to work. She doesn’t seem that stupid.” Frankie interjected, searching for his brother’s brains somewhere around the room. He seemed to have misplaced them.
“I got to try. What good does it do me to just walk away?”
“It saves all this,” Frankie said, thrusting his hand out and into his brother’s chest. He was disturbed with the amount of energy his brother was pouring into one simple human, one, that no matter what he could not have.
Sam tilted his head to the side, drawing his shoulders up in a manner of saying it doesn’t matter. Frankie was lost for words, his usual bad mood unable to come out and make a mockery of the situation. Just as he was about to say something else there Delaney stood on the doorstep. Sam was surprised to see her so soon.
Frankie planted a hand at the very top of the door, allowing Delaney to sneak past. He watched her red heels click across Sam’s floor. She took a seat on the couch staying utterly silent.
“This is your clue to hit the road. I’ll see you around.” Sam hinted, raising an eyebrow in Frankie’s direction. The sooner Frankie left the quicker he could tackle the situation. Frankie nodded, quickly heading down the stairs.
Sam gave Delaney a quick look to make sure she wasn’t going anywhere and ran down the stairs to catch up to his brother. Something was eating at him. The way Frankie was acting just didn’t sit right with him. Maybe it was just the human side of him wanting to help.
“Hey, Frankie,” Sam called. The glare from the sunlight on the door caused him to narrow his eyes as he looked at his brother.
Frankie rested his hand on the top of his car. “What’s up?”
“Once you find that girl who makes you see life different, you will know where I am coming from. You will see life isn’t all about death, destruction and pointless sex.” Sam watched his expression for the smallest hint that he was getting through to his brother.
Frankie shoved his hands into the pockets of his blue jeans. He sighed. “She’s just a girl. They’re all just girls. They all die. And I happen to like meaningless sex.”
Sam gave him a nod. “One day you will feel differently. What about Blanca?” Blanca was a bad example he thought to himself. But he was trying to prove a point.
“What about Blanca? She’s a first class bitch, self-centered and only out for one thing. And if it weren’t for my dna, I would just be another victim of hers. I am going to leave you to this whole mess and head to the bar. I’m starting to feel a bit grumpy, and that’s never a good thing.”
Sam hesitated on the doorstep. He was trying his best to pull it together. Come up with something that convinced Delaney he was worth sticking around for. He drug his hand through his hair. A shower would have done wonders for his self-confidence he thought, as he pushed open the door.
Delaney sat quietly on the sofa. Her hands draped over her skirt. She stared at the vacant screen of the television at her faint reflection staring back at her. With just the slightest inhalation she could smell Vance all around her in the room. His cologne was one that always made her feel at home and alright with everything going on. She thought it was a bit silly the smell of a man could make her feel so safe and sound, but it did.
He took a seat next to her, the silence in the room making her a tad worried. He finally released a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck tensely with the palm of his hand. He gave her a quick look. The first words were always the hardest for him.
“You look nice,” he said gently. Her hair was smooth and full of body. She was wearing dark red lipstick and a skirt and blouse with amazing red heels.
Delaney gave him a small smile as receipt of the flattering remark. She didn’t give back any kind of compliment because he honestly looked like crap. His eyes were rimmed with dark circles, his hair a mess. His shirt was wrinkled as if it had been lying on the floor or in a laundry basket before he decided to throw it on. And she never saw him wear the style of pants he had on before.
“How was your night?” Delaney asked uneasily.
Sam instantaneously scoured his mind for an explanation. “I was with Frankie, crashed at his house.” He hoped she believed that. He hated to explain the real truth—which he hardly knew himself.
“How do you feel?” she asked next, taking his words for the truth just like every time before. That was one of the things he loved about her. She trusted him. It also made him feel bad, because he didn’t deserve her trust.
“A bit of a headache, I feel like I could sleep for the rest of the day, but besides that, just glad to be home, and glad that you’re here too.” He dropped his gaze on Delaney. She turned her head, giving him a bigger smile, something in her eyes proving to Sam she wasn’t giving up on him. He reached out and touched her face. She touched his hand, enjoying the feel of his fingertips. Closing her eyes and holding on tight.
&nbs
p; “I love you,” she said, dropping her head on his chest. Sam smoothed her hair, letting her hold on to him.
“And I love you. You know that.” He kissed the top of her head. “Don’t you ever forget that.”
Delaney held on for dear life. Everything made sense again when she was in his arms.
Sam laid down on the couch, Delaney in front of him, his arms wrapped tightly around her, holding her in place. “This right here is what makes me happy.”
Delaney agreed. Never in all the years she was alive did she ever meet someone like him. He was everything she wanted, even the things she had no idea she wanted. She had no idea how to explain the bond. It made no sense to her. But she felt it all the time, even when she was angry she was still in love with him. And she always would be. You couldn’t turn off the feelings of love no matter what you tried.
“Tell me about your life,” she whispered, stroking Sam’s arm. This was something they hardly every brought up. Sam knew all about her parents, her childhood, her likes and dislikes. But he wasn’t one to talk about his life before her. “Tell me about you and Frankie when you were young. What were you like when you were kids?”
Sam sighed. “We were close. He was my younger brother and I was the classic older brother always looking out for him. Frankie and I are total opposites though. That makes it hard sometimes to get through to him. But at one time Frankie had a lot more heart than he does nowadays.”
Delaney found this hard to believe. Frankie was empty. That was the only way she could describe him. He was animated yes, but he lacked depth. But something told her it was a lot more than that. She wondered if something bad happened to Frankie in his past that left him so cold and dead on the inside. And she also wondered how she could even think this about someone she knew so little about.
“Frankie has a lot of issues. Most of them stem from our parents,” Sam explained.
“Your parents?”
“Our parents were a nightmare together. Our father was malicious. He wanted things his way at all times. And just because you were his family didn’t mean he was going to treat you any different.” Sam thought back to his childhood. Growing up the son of an incubus was tough. But growing up with a human mother who had to tolerate his father was even tougher. Sam developed a soft spot for his mother. While his father tried to train his sons how to be evil and vindictive like himself. But Sam had a hard time accepting his ways when he saw all his mother went through because of him.
Frankie on the other hand felt nothing for their mother. Sam knew why. Frankie felt so powerless at what their mother had to endure that he learned to just ignore it. And soon that turned into hate. Deep down Sam knew this was the reason Frankie would never want to find a love of his own, because he didn’t want to be like his father. He didn’t want to fall in love with a woman and treat her like an object.
“Are they still together?” Delaney asked.
“Oh no. My mother decided a long time ago to stay far away from our father. And my father has never quite accepted that.” Sam’s mother fell out of love with his father. Maybe she never loved him to begin with. He wasn’t sure. And for some reason she was fortunate enough to escape with her life. After all that mess Frankie became disconnected from his family altogether. He developed an extreme dislike for all of them. Sam was the only one lucky enough to be graced with his presence every few years.
“What about your sister? You said you had a sister once,” Delaney said. This was one person she had yet to meet along with his parents.
“Ellie. She’s the baby in the family. She really looked up to Frankie and I. The last I heard Ellie was in Europe. She’s a very stubborn girl. She takes after our father in a lot of ways, which is probably why she is all the way on the other side of the world. She doesn’t like to take any advice.”
Delaney wondered how it would feel to be so far away from her family. She was close to everyone in her family. And she could never imagine not talking to them.
“How did you handle your parents? You always fail to mention that.” She twisted her entire body to face him. These were the moments she loved the most, when she could feel his breath against her face. When they simply stared into each other’s eyes and talked.
“My father and I never saw eye to eye. So I wasn’t to upset when we stopped talking to each other. I never felt like he understood me. He just wanted what he wanted from me and wasn’t willing to take anything less. My mother is a very compassionate person, who gives a lot of second chances to the ones she loves. But when you treat her badly she has a limit and she shuts you out.” This pained Sam to verbalize. He had wronged her and feared she had given up on him. This was the reason he had stayed away for so long. Shame was a hard thing to move past.
Sam’s mother was a strong person. A lot stronger than anyone could imagine. But she also had a lot of emotions. He couldn’t begin to relate to her and her feelings for his father. Or her feelings for the other son that completely despised her to the point he wanted to kill her—and even tried.
On occasions her image would plague his memory. Her dazzling smiles of what seemed like a million pearly white teeth, her soft graceful ways. And her light blue eyes that were exactly like his. She had a quiet way about her, and a voice that haunted his memory. She tried to understand everyone no matter who they were. No matter how horrible a person was she tried to understand them.
“Don’t you ever leave me,” Sam said out of the blue, squeezing Delaney tight, “no matter what I do. Just promise me you won’t ever leave me.”
Delaney kissed his cheek, stroking his rough cheek with her fingertips. She didn’t speak.
What is love?
Soft clinks of glass echoed around the bar. Dark and uninviting, it was Frankie’s paradise. As well as laughter, shouting and many forms of gaiety. Frankie nursed his beer, listening to the dialogue taking place next to him between two young girls. Any other time he wouldn’t have noticed. But tonight it seemed something was bothering him. Sam was bothering him.
Frankie set his beer down on the bar and turned in his seat. “Excuse me. I’ve been sitting here for quite some time now listening to you two talk about Reggie and how much of an asshole he is to your friend.” The two girl’s expression was amusing to him. It was a cross between uncertainty and amusement. Frankie knew it was because of his looks that he wasn’t given the cold shoulder right off the bat.
“Well that’s because Reggie is an asshole,” The brunette said, licking her lips and staring Frankie down now. She planted her cheek on her fist giving him a bit of a smirk. Reggie who?
“But yet you still have this unrelenting need to find love, am I correct?” Frankie asked, moving closer, really getting into the banter. “You’re still willing to get shot down time and time again. Would you love me if I said I’d never leave you?” The two girls broke into a fit of sexually fused laughter.
“Oh hell yeah I would love you. I mean look at you,” The blonde said, shooting her friend a grin.
Frankie drug his beer in front of him. “But you know nothing about me. See that’s your problem, you just want love. You don’t care about any of the other stuff, you just want love.” He sighed.
The brunette grew a little somber at Frankie’s solemn way. “Well isn’t that what you want to. Doesn’t everyone?”
Frankie took a long swig of his beer, sitting it down empty. “No, I don’t want that at all. I’ve managed to live quite a long time without love.” Once he really looked at the brunette he was taken aback by her devious little smirk. And the laidback way she went back and forth with him.
“I imagine that is a very sad way to live. I would risk heartache over and over again to find the one.”
“What if the one is the one who breaks your heart over and over again?” Frankie injected, really staring at her now. Her unusual hazel eyes shifted around the bar trying to come up with an answer. He had to give her an a for effort. At least she wasn’t blurting out the first thing that came out of her
mouth. She bit at her bottom lip, her eyebrows knitting together as if it was a struggle to find an answer.
“Love isn’t perfect. It’s the idea of love that fascinates me. I don’t expect love to be perfect because that would mean us as humans were.” She shifted in her seat. “What do you think?”
Frankie watched the bartender crack open his next beer. “I think it sounds like you paid good money for that college education. You should thank your professors for teaching you how to use all that garbage you call truth.”
The blonde rolled her eyes, touching her friends arm to make her feel better. But she wasn’t giving up so easily Frankie noticed. A part of him remembered that he had just listened in on the girl pouring her heart out about this Reggie and how horrible he had made her feel. But still, there he was beating her up psychologically.
