by Laura Iding
“I’m sorry,” he muttered, trying to regain his equilibrium. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Alyssa stared at him with an oddly hurt expression. “I’m the one who kissed you.”
She had, and he wasn’t sure why. Unless she was under the delusion they could simply pick up where they’d left off before? Impossible.
“I shouldn’t have let things get out of control. This wasn’t why I brought you here.”
“No. I’m sure it wasn’t.” She turned away, leaving him to pick up her coat he’d dropped on the floor, putting it away in the closet.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, when she made her way into his living room.
“Not really. And I don’t need you to wait on me. I’m going to stretch out on the sofa to rest.”
“Alyssa, don’t.” He quickened his pace so he could reach out to grab her arm. “Take my bed. I insist.”
She tugged her arm away as if she couldn’t tolerate his touch and crossed her arms over her chest. “I can’t take your bed.”
“Why not? I can’t let you sleep on the sofa.” He had two spare bedrooms, one he used as an office and the other just a junk room. When he’d invited her to move in with him, he’d intended to buy a bedroom set for the second bedroom. “Please, just this once, humor me.”
She cocked a brow. “Just this once? I thought I’d been humoring you all along.”
He couldn’t disagree. “Maybe you have, but give me a break, will you? What if you tried to roll over on my sofa and fell to the floor, landing on your stomach? I’d never forgive myself.”
Her mouth curved in a reluctant smile but then quickly faded. “Fine. I’ll take your bed. But if you wake up with a sore back, don’t blame me.”
Better him having a sore back than her, but he didn’t say anything. He headed down the hall and gestured to the bedroom, feeling somewhat awkward. “I’m, uh, sure you remember where everything is, right?”
Avoiding his gaze, she nodded. “Yes.”
He tried not to remember the last time she’d been at his house, the night they’d made love several times, staying awake until dawn.
Pulling his gaze away from his bed, Jadon grabbed a pillow and a blanket from his linen closet. “Goodnight, Alyssa. Sleep well.”
She didn’t answer but closed his bedroom door with a loud click. He stared at it for a long moment before he turned and headed back into the living room to stretch out on his sofa.
The cloudy, snowy day should have made it easier for him to get some rest.
But even though he was dead tired, he couldn’t sleep.
Images of Alyssa, in his bed, tortured him. He’d never made love to a pregnant woman before, but kissing Alyssa had been pure heaven. He found he was enthralled by the changes in her body, especially when he discovered she was still as responsive as ever. There must be something wrong with him to see Alyssa as more sexy than ever while soft and round, carrying his children.
From a medical perspective, he knew sexual intercourse wasn’t dangerous during pregnancy. Alyssa had seemed to be as involved in their kiss as he’d been.
So why had he broken things off? Because sex didn’t solve anything. They couldn’t go back to being the carefree lovers they’d been. He didn’t have a normal family, a normal future to offer her. He couldn’t let himself fall for her. He had responsibilities. Obviously he’d help support her and the twins, but that was all he could do.
Knowing the truth didn’t ease the ache in his groin. If he hadn’t let his conscience get the better of him, they’d be sharing his bed right now.
He had no one to blame for his restlessness but himself.
CHAPTER SIX
ABOUT five hours later, Jadon woke up to the sound of his stomach growling. As he struggled upright on the not-so-comfortable-for-sleeping sofa, wincing against the light streaming through the living-room window, he wondered if Alyssa needed something to eat as well.
After all, she was eating for three. And working night shifts really messed up your body’s normal rhythms. If he was hungry, she had to be starved.
Yawning widely, he shuffled down the hall toward the bathroom, pausing outside the closed door to his room and listening intently for any signs that she was up and awake. When after several moments he didn’t hear a thing, he turned away. After spending a few minutes in the bathroom, he headed back to the kitchen.
Pursing his lips, he stared inside his fridge. Cooking wasn’t exactly his strong suit, but he had eggs and milk. He opened a drawer and found cheese and a few green onions. He thought he still had some bacon bits, too. Just enough ingredients to scrape together an omelet. And some French toast if she wanted some.
He’d made both of the breakfasts for her before, he remembered, during those brief months of their steamy affair, and she’d seemed to enjoy them. So which one should he go with now?
Both, he decided. Couldn’t go wrong with a choice.
He made a small pot of coffee, feeling a little guilty for drinking the brew in front of Alyssa but needing some caffeine to help clear his fuzzy, sleep-fogged brain.
He downed two cups of coffee, feeling more human afterward as he set about cracking eggs into a small bowl. He rather liked cooking for Alyssa.
Just as he finished preparing the meal, he heard the bathroom door close. Alyssa was awake, no doubt making one of her all-too-frequent trips to the bathroom.
He grabbed a rather beat-up metal TV tray left over from his college and medical school days, and loaded up the two plates he’d prepared. He added a tall glass of milk for Alyssa and then carried them out to the living room, just in time to catch her coming out of the bathroom.
She wore a pair of his old navy blue sweatpants and a sweatshirt, looking sleepily adorable despite the baggy clothes. He had to clench his teeth against a wave of desire.
“Alyssa? Are you hungry?” He hoped his voice didn’t betray his lustful thoughts and he avoided her gaze by staring down at the food on the tray. “I have French toast and omelets.”
She paused, and then nodded, showing no sign of her earlier ire. “You know, I am hungry. Thanks, it sounds great.”
As she came closer, he noticed her face was pale and drawn, her earlier exhaustion still evident on her features.
Obviously, she needed a few more hours of sleep.
“Sit here on the sofa where it’s more comfortable,” he said, shoving aside the pillow and blanket he’d used. “Put your feet up and relax.”
She walked slowly into the living room, gingerly sitting on one end of the sofa. She rested her feet on top of his coffee table with a muffled sigh.
He frowned in concern. “What’s wrong?”
“I’ve been having some episodes of contractions,” she admitted. “But they seem to be getting less frequent.”
“Contractions?” His heart clenched and he stared helplessly at her rounded stomach. “Shouldn’t you call Kim Rayborn?”
Alyssa bit her lip. “Yes,” she agreed. “But I’d like to eat first. Last time this happened, they stopped on their own.”
Last time? When? During the night? Or before she’d even gone to work?
Dammit, she had no business going back to work so soon.
He clenched his jaw and gently set the TV tray on her lap. Then he took the pillow off the sofa and tucked it beneath her ankles to protect them from the hard edge of the coffee table.
“Thanks,” she murmured. She dug into the omelet and French toast meal he’d created with obvious enthusiasm. “Hmm. This is fantastic.”
“I’m glad you like it.” He sat beside her with his own plate, eating mechanically but not tasting a thing as he kept darting worried glances at Alyssa. When he realized his plate was clean yet he didn’t remember tasting any of it, he set it aside with a grimace. “Alyssa, having contractions isn’t good.”
“It’s not that bad. I’ve been timing them,” she said defensively. “They’re not regular and they don’t last long.”
He wanted to s
hake some sense into her. “You were on your feet the entire night—don’t you think you might have overdone things just a bit?”
“Maybe,” she said, avoiding his gaze.
He stifled a sigh. “Are you going to call Kim? She should be the final judge as to whether or not you should continue working.”
Alyssa was silent for a long moment, before she finally looked at him. “I already called off work for tonight. I just don’t think I can do another night shift like the one we had last night and I wanted to give them plenty of time to find someone to replace me.”
“Thank heavens,” he said, overwhelmed with relief. Finally she’d come to her senses. Now, if only he could convince her to stay here at his house where he could watch over her. “Your health, along with the babies’, are your two main concerns. I’m sure they’ll find someone to work your shift.”
“I hope so.” She frowned. “I don’t like to leave them short-staffed. Look how busy we were being fully staffed.”
“I know, but they’re going to be working without you soon enough,” he pointed out. “Especially if you deliver early. So pushing yourself isn’t going to help.”
She simply nodded as she ate the last bit of eggs and toast on her plate. When she was finished, he stood and took the tray from her lap.
She frowned a little. “You cooked, so I should clean up.”
Yeah, over his dead body she would. “Are you still having contractions?” he asked warily.
“Not in the last fifteen minutes,” she said dryly. “Stop hovering, Jadon. The only thing Kim would tell me to do right now is go back on bed rest, which I can do on my own. I know my body well enough, and these few contractions aren’t anything to worry about.”
Maybe, but he didn’t like it. He preferred having control of the situation, not waiting to see what might happen. He carried the dirty dishes back to the kitchen.
When he returned to the living room a few minutes later, she was lying back against the cushions with her eyes closed. He didn’t want to disturb her but suddenly she opened her eyes.
“Jadon, this isn’t going to work. You keep acting as if I’m going to fall apart. I think it’s time you took me home.”
“No.” He stared at her for a long moment. “I’m happy to go to your apartment to pick up your things, but I’m not taking you home and leaving you alone.”
Her eyes widened in surprise at his blunt response. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Don’t ask me to do it, Alyssa, because I can’t. Look at you! You’re exhausted. You need to rest and you can’t do that if you have to do everything for yourself.” He rubbed the back of his neck, wishing he knew what to say to convince her. “Please. Stay here with me. At least until you deliver.”
“Because you want to take care of me,” she said, her tone laced with a hint of bitterness.
He didn’t understand why that made her mad, but knew he had to step carefully. “No, it’s not just that. I’ve missed you. And we have a lot to work through before the babies are born, don’t you think?”
He sensed she liked that answer a little better, because she didn’t immediately jump into another argument.
After what seemed like a lifetime, she slowly nodded. “All right, Jadon. I’ll stay for a short time.” His relief must have been obvious, because she hastily added, “But only if you bring my bedroom set here so that we both have a place to sleep. I refuse to kick you out of your bed.”
Logically, he knew sharing his bed with her was out of the question. Still, that common-sense thought didn’t stop his body from reacting at the possibility.
This move was for Alyssa and the twins, not for him.
“It’s a deal,” he said quickly, before she could change her mind.
Alyssa had truckloads of doubts regarding the wisdom of her decision to stay with Jadon, especially the way he sprung into action, calling Simon Carter for help and making a list of everything he needed to bring over from her apartment. He left so quickly when Simon arrived to pick him up she didn’t have time to voice her concerns.
He’d said he’d missed her. And unfortunately he was right when he’d said they had a lot of details to work through before the twins were born. No matter how much she wanted to remain independent, she couldn’t be foolish about it. And despite how she’d reassured him, the contractions worried her. What if she couldn’t work anymore? She didn’t want to end up like her mother, obsessed with making ends meet. Hadn’t that been the real reason she’d insisted on going back to work so soon?
And now look at her. She’d overdone it, big-time. With slow, deep breaths she performed the relaxation techniques she’d learned in Lamaze class. The contractions came and went, but were much less now that she was resting quietly.
She’d missed her last session thanks to her hospitalization. It wasn’t that big a deal, the last class being to watch a video of a birth, and she’d seen one during her nurse’s training. Kylie, too, had not only had Ben but as a paramedic had also seen a birth. Kylie would be a great birthing coach.
Would Jadon mind knowing Kylie was her birthing coach? Maybe, although it wasn’t as if he’d been around to attend classes with her. She remembered Megan, the birthing instructor, telling them there was a DVD version of the class available, too. Jadon would probably be more than willing to watch it.
Wait a minute, was she seriously thinking of asking Jadon to be her birthing coach?
Yes. She was.
She closed her eyes with a weary sigh. Moving in with him was definitely a mistake. They were soon-to-be parents without the benefit of a loving relationship. And she was beginning to care about him, too much. And what did he want from her? Nothing. He’d been the one to break off their kiss. He’d been clear about how much he wanted her to stay here with him, but only because she needed help. Not because he was interested in pursuing an intimate relationship. That much was obvious.
Her cheeks flushed and her breath shortened as she relived the kiss. For some strange reason—maybe an excess of hormones—she was burning with pent-up sexual frustration. She’d never realized how easy it was to get sexually stimulated while pregnant.
She’d wanted Jadon.
Had practically thrown herself at him.
Only to be turned down.
She opened her eyes and gazed morosely at her large belly. Of course Jadon hadn’t been interested, why would he? She was the size of a house!
Before she could wallow too deep in her pool of self-pity, Jadon and Simon returned with the first load of stuff from her apartment. Jadon hauled in the mattress from outside, laughing and shaking snowflakes off his dark hair as he entered the house. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from him, especially the way his muscles flexed as he maneuvered the mattress down the hallway to the spare bedroom he’d already cleared out for her.
So far, Jadon certainly didn’t look as if he minded the extra work. Or that he was regretting asking her to stay. Did he really want to talk about the possibility of a future? And could she trust him if he did? How could she know if Jadon would really stick around for the long haul? Especially with the stress of raising not just one baby but two?
“Hi, Alyssa,” Simon greeted her, coming in behind Jadon, lugging a large suitcase she hoped was full of her maternity clothes. She felt like a lost waif in Jadon’s sweats. “How are you and the babies feeling?”
“We’re fine,” she said with a smile. Simon was a nice guy—in fact, they’d gone out on a couple of dates prior to her meeting Jadon, but there just hadn’t been any spark. She was glad they’d been able to remain friends. “Thanks for moving all my stuff.”
“No problem. I think it’s very good that you’re staying here with Jadon,” Simon said in a serious tone. “You shouldn’t be alone, not with all the complications you’ve had.”
“I only had complications because I was silly enough to fall into Lake Michigan,” she protested. “Not because of my pregnancy in general.”
“It wasn’t silly to sav
e Ben’s life,” Jadon said, walking back through the living room.
“No, but I should have been able to get Ben out of the water without falling in.” She wrinkled her nose. “I didn’t factor in how much larger and lower my center of gravity is.”
“All that matters is that you’re both safe,” Simon said.
“Come on, Simon.” Jadon clapped him on the shoulder. “Help me carry her bed frame inside.”
“How did you get all this stuff over here?” Alyssa asked with a puzzled frown.
“Jadon rented a truck,” Simon answered over his shoulder. “And a good thing because the four-wheel drive sure helped us get up that hill on your street.”
She vaguely remembered Jadon saying something about the slippery, snow-covered hill on the street leading to her apartment. It was one of the reasons she’d ended up here with him in the first place. She didn’t ask any more questions until they had everything moved in.
Including her small, lopsided Christmas tree.
“I can’t believe you brought it along,” she murmured as Jadon set it up in the corner of the living room, directly in her line of vision from her position on the sofa. Simon had left a few minutes previously, to return the rented truck.
He rocked back on his heels, flashing her a quizzical, sideways glance. “Well, I couldn’t just leave it there in your apartment, the poor thing looked lonely enough as it was. And since I didn’t have any Christmas decorations up of my own, I figured this would cheer you up better than nothing.”
“Thanks, Jadon.” She was foolishly touched by his consideration. “I’ve been really looking forward to Christmas this year.”
“Yeah?” His smile was infectious.
“Yeah. So, uh, do you have to work tonight?”
“No, I’m off the next two nights.” He spent more time making adjustments to the tree, until he finally stood and put his hands on his hips in disgust. “I swear I’ve done everything to straighten this tree. Nothing works. It’s still crooked.”
Her lips twitched at his vexed tone. She lifted her shoulder in a shrug. “I kind of like it that way.”
