by Laura Iding
“You can’t ignore Grace,” Jadon chided. “I know Gretchen is sick, but Grace deserves your love and attention, too.”
His slightly accusing, brusque tone grated on her nerves. “I was here this morning, nursing Grace. You’re the one who went home last night. Don’t lecture me. If anyone hasn’t been spending enough time with Grace, it’s you.”
For a long moment antagonistic tension shimmered in the air between them.
Jadon turned away first, letting out a harsh breath and plowing his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I have no right to lecture you.”
His apology caught her off guard, and she realized this was their first fight. Ever. When Jadon had left so unexpectedly, she hadn’t been given a chance to argue with him. You had to care about something, have feelings to argue.
She was inexplicably encouraged by his outburst. He’d proved he wasn’t as emotionally distant from the situation with Gretchen as she’d thought.
“It’s okay,” she said slowly. “I shouldn’t have snapped. I guess I’ve been on edge lately, too.”
Jadon nodded. “We both have. Obviously there’s been a lot to deal with in a very short period of time.”
They took turns holding the girls, switching the babies, declaring a wordless truce to support each other during this time of crisis. Jadon seemed less remote after their disagreement.
Alyssa hoped that surviving their first fight was a good sign of their evolving relationship. Fighting meant having feelings.
Maybe there was hope for their future after all.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
ALYSSA and Jadon both stayed in the nursery until almost midnight again, relieved when Gretchen seemed to be holding her own on the CPAP mask.
So far she hadn’t needed a breathing tube and Alyssa could only hope and pray that Gretchen was on the cusp of doing better, her pneumonia clearing up so she soon wouldn’t need assistance with her breathing at all.
She was glad Jadon had decided to stay with her this time, instead of going home. Even if the recliner did look awfully uncomfortable.
When she finally awoke the next morning, she was distressed to see Jadon was already gone. Was he visiting the babies? Or had he left to run home?
She missed him. Sleeping beside him, being held by him when she’d been upset about Gretch. He’d been a rock during this very emotionally draining time. So far he wasn’t giving her the impression he was going to cut and run when things got tough.
How on earth had she imagined she’d be able to raise these two girls by herself? Especially given that she’d had the twins prematurely? Who else would she have leaned on when Gretchen had got sick?
Her friends? Seth and Kylie? Maybe, but not likely. Not the way she’d leaned on Jadon.
And how had her mother managed?
She had no idea. Her mother was more of a saint than she’d given her credit for.
After climbing out of bed, she hurried down to the nursery to attempt to breast-feed Grace. She’d expected to see Jadon there, but he’d been in and had already gone. Trying not to be disappointed, she rocked and fed Grace, silently acknowledging that maybe she hadn’t been entirely fair in her assessment of her mother’s ability to adapt to being a single mother.
It wasn’t exactly her mother’s fault that she hadn’t attended college. Her mother had fallen pregnant during her first year of college and had been forced to drop out of her classes. She’d tried going back for evening sessions, but had stopped altogether when Alyssa’s oh, so charming father had disappeared from the picture for good.
Maybe they hadn’t had a lot of money while she’d been growing up, but certainly they’d had love. Maybe her mother hadn’t shown love as much as she’d wanted, but they had shared some wonderful, very special Christmases. And if they’d moved around a lot, from one seemingly better job to another, at least Alyssa hadn’t gone hungry.
Constantly making new friends hadn’t been easy, and that had been why once she’d come to Cedar Bluff she’d immediately fallen in love with the town. The people were exceptionally nice and friendly. From the very first she’d felt as if she’d come home.
If she hadn’t experienced the nomadic upbringing she had, she might never have found Cedar Bluff.
Or Jadon.
She smiled down at Grace, who’d suckled hungrily that morning at her breast. Grace was by far the stronger and healthier of the twins. Gretchen still wore the mask, but Alyssa told herself that was better than coming in to find her on a ventilator.
Once Grace had taken her fill, which admittedly wasn’t a lot, Alyssa used the breast pump so she could freeze the extra milk for both twins and then spent some time holding Gretchen.
Leaving the nursery, she returned to her room to eat her own breakfast and to wait for Kim to come and formally discharge her. While she knew this would mean spending less time with the girls, she was anxious to get back home.
Not to her apartment, but to Jadon’s house.
“Good morning,” Kim greeted her cheerfully as she entered the room. “Are you ready to go home?”
“Absolutely,” she agreed, although she thought it was odd that Jadon hadn’t returned. Where was he?
“And how is your bladder? Are you still experiencing some burning when you go?”
“Nope, that’s all fine.”
“Good. That means the antibiotics are helping.” Kim made a few notes on her clipboard. “All right, then, you’re free to leave. I have a prescription here for your antibiotics. You can get it filled right here at our outpatient pharmacy.”
“Sounds good.” She took the prescription Kim held out. “Thanks again for everything.”
“You’re very welcome,” Kim said with a smile. “Don’t forget, no sexual activity for a while, until you feel up to it. And you’ll need to come and see me in six weeks.”
“I will.” Alyssa put the prescription near her purse and reached for her suitcase. Once Kim had left, she changed out of her nightgown and into the clean clothes Jadon had brought for her.
She was disappointed that she still needed to wear her maternity clothes. All the nurses had assured her she’d lose the extra weight faster if she breast-fed the babies and she really hoped they were right. Not that Jadon had said a word about her pudgy shape, but she still wanted to get back into her old clothes.
And where was Jadon? She frowned and then decided there was no need to sit here and wonder about Jadon. She should spend every minute she could with the girls instead.
On the way to the nursery, though, she abruptly stopped as an idea occurred to her. Maybe Jadon had been called in to work. He’d been off for several days already so she certainly understood if he needed to pick up a shift.
She turned and headed down to the emergency department to see if he was there, working. The charge nurse on duty would know which attending physicians were scheduled to work.
The ED was bustling with activity when she walked into the arena. Muted Christmas music was playing through the loudspeaker, but the tunes could barely be heard through the normal sounds of monitors beeping, staff talking and the occasional patient yelling.
Wistfully, she glanced around, realizing she missed the place. As soon as a few of her nursing colleagues saw her, they rushed over.
“Alyssa! How are you? How are the twins?” Susan asked, reaching her first and giving her a quick hug.
“We heard you have two girls,” Melanie added, coming up behind Susan.
“I’m fine and the twins are fine, too,” she said with a laugh. “Their names are Grace and Gretchen, and of course they are the most beautiful babies in the whole nursery.”
“Of course they are,” Susan agreed staunchly. “What are you doing down here? Looking for Theresa?”
Theresa Williams was their nurse manager and with a shock Alyssa realized she hadn’t exactly kept her boss informed of the events surrounding her delivery.
“I should probably talk to Theresa,” Alyssa agreed, glancing around the arena.
“Do you know where she is?”
“I think she’s in her office,” Melanie said helpfully. “But if not, we can have her paged.”
“Thanks. I’ll chat with you both later.” Alyssa hurried to her boss’s office, spending a few minutes going over the terms of her medical leave of absence. She felt a sense of relief when she’d finished all the paperwork, including the form she needed to complete in order to add her infant daughters to her health insurance plan.
Considering the bill they were running up in the nursery, it was a good thing she’d stopped by or she might have forgotten all about it.
“By the way, which physician is on duty tonight?” she asked her boss.
“Let me check.” Theresa pulled up her computerized physician schedule. “Unless there have been any changes, Dr. Carter is on for the second shift and Dr. Taylor is on for third shift.”
So Jadon wasn’t on the schedule, not even on third shift. Unless either Simon or Seth had called him to cover their hours at the last minute.
Trying not to dwell on where Jadon might be, she left Theresa’s office. As she walked past the trauma bay, she noticed there were two trauma resuscitations going on at the same time, and curiosity caused her to stop to watch for a few minutes. It quickly became apparent that the two victims had been involved in the same crash.
“Here’s the chest X-ray you asked for, Dr. Torres.”
An attractive, tall, dark-haired, rather European-looking doctor glanced at the computer image of the film and turned back to the patient. “This guy’s left lung is collapsed,” he said in a sharp tone. “I need to insert a chest tube, stat.”
Maureen, the new trainee she’d worked with a week ago, was rummaging through the trauma resuscitation cart, anxiously looking for the chest tube he’d asked for.
Alyssa didn’t recognize Dr. Torres, but as Maureen was looking in the wrong places for the tube, she darted in and opened the correct drawer. “Here,” she said, pulling out the chest tube and handing it to her. “Drawer six for chest tubes and instruments.”
“Thanks,” Maureen said in obvious relief. Evidently, the new physician had her on edge. “Here you go, Dr. Torres.”
He took the chest tube, but then his attention centered on Alyssa. “Who are you?” he demanded. “If you’re not a part of this resuscitation team, get out or I’ll call Security.”
Alyssa glanced around, but realized with a shock that he was actually talking to her. Not that he didn’t have every right to question who she was, as she obviously wasn’t wearing the proper attire or her ID tag, but his threat to contact Security seemed a bit extreme. Hadn’t she just helped out a coworker? What was his problem?
“I’m sorry,” she started to apologize, but Leila Ross, one of the trauma surgeons, quickly came to her rescue.
“Alyssa Knight is one of our ED nurses—there’s no reason to call Security.” By the acid contempt in her tone, it was easy to deduce that Leila didn’t particularly care for the new physician. “Thanks for your help, Alyssa. We’re fine now.”
“Sure,” she murmured, taking the hint and stepping out of the trauma area. She glanced at Dr. Torres, but he’d apparently already forgotten about her, his attention centered on placing the chest tube in his patient.
She headed back toward the arena, where she ran into Susan. “The traumas are two snowmobile riders who hit each other head-on. I bet you’re glad to be out of here for a few months, huh?” Susan asked, coming up beside her. “Good way to escape the craziness around here.”
She thought dealing with premature twins would have its own element of craziness, but didn’t respond. Susan brushed past, heading into the trauma room to offer more help, and Alyssa watched, wishing she had a chance to ask about the new doctor on staff.
Not that it mattered much, since, as Susan had pointed out, she’d be off for a few months. Hopefully by the time she was scheduled to return, Dr. Torres would have forgotten all about this little incident.
She turned and left, heading back upstairs to the nursery, knowing she’d miss the excitement of the ED to a certain extent. Taking care of patients had always been her passion. Yet she was also a mother now, and her precious, tiny, preemie daughters had to come first.
Half expecting to run into Jadon, she was disappointed to note he wasn’t waiting for her in the nursery. Where in the heck was he? Surely he hadn’t forgotten she was being discharged today?
Her ire faded when she looked at Gretchen and noticed the CPAP mask had been removed from her daughter.
“Renee?” she called to the day-shift nurse, who was standing nearby. “Why is Gretchen’s mask off? Is she doing better?”
“Yes, Gretchen is doing much better,” Renee confirmed, crossing over to her with a reassuring smile. “As a matter of fact, Dr. Downer was just here looking for you and Jadon. Why don’t I page him?”
“Please. I’d love to talk to him.” Alyssa wished Jadon was here, too, so the doctor could talk to both of them.
They should be able to share the good news along with the bad.
“Alyssa, I’m glad you’re here. Gretchen’s chest X-ray looks remarkably improved so we’re doing a trial to see how well she’s oxygenating with the CPAP mask off.” He glanced at the monitor over Gretchen’s isolette and waved a hand at the pulse ox reading. “She’s at ninety-five percent, which means so far she’s holding her own.”
“Really?” She was almost afraid to hope. “You really think she won’t need the mask again?”
“I think between the antibiotics and the extra nutrition she’s been getting, little Gretchen is going to be just fine,” he assured her. “But we’ll watch her closely, just in case.”
Hope swelled, filling her heart with joyous relief. She knew they would keep a close eye on Gretchen, and on Grace. She was lucky to have such a great team of caregivers for her babies. “I’m so glad.”
“Me, too. I understand you’re going to be discharged today, is that correct?” he asked.
“Yes, but you can contact me on my cell phone if there’s any changes with Grace or Gretch.” She recited the number, patting her pockets and belatedly realizing the device was still in her suitcase. Jadon had thought of everything when he’d packed the bag for her, including her cell phone. “And I’ll be here for a little while yet.” Thankfully Jadon lived close to the hospital, so she could come and visit the girls often.
“Great. For now there isn’t much else for us to do except to take good care of the babies and watch to be sure they don’t have any other complications while they gain weight,” he said.
“Sounds good.” Excited, she took Gretchen out of her isolette to hold her close to her breast for the first time since the mask had gone on.
It seemed like forever. But after she’d held Gretchen, she gave Grace a nuzzle, too, unable to stop smiling.
Gretchen was doing okay. Soon the girls would be able to come home.
Which meant she needed to get ready for them.
After visiting for another hour, Alyssa walked back down to her room, becoming more vexed with Jadon.
It was past noon. Why wasn’t he back by now? What on earth could be so important?
“Alyssa?” Denise flagged her down. “Jadon has been trying to get in touch with you.”
“He has?” she asked with a frown. “Where is he?”
Denise lifted her shoulder in a slight shrug. “I’m not sure, but he would like you to call him on his cell phone. I wrote the number down for you.”
Good thing, as she didn’t have Jadon’s new cell-phone number. She didn’t even have his old cell-phone number anymore. She took the slip of paper and returned to her room. Picking up her phone from her suitcase, she saw there were several missed calls.
And the battery was almost flat, so she used the phone in her hospital room to call him. “Jadon, it’s Alyssa. I just got your message,” she said when he answered.
“Alyssa, I’ve been trying to reach you. I won’t be able to take you home today.”
/>
A warning chill snaked down her spine. “Why not? Where are you?”
There was a slight pause, as if he was trying to figure out exactly what to say. “I had to leave early this morning for another family crisis. You were sleeping, so I didn’t want to wake you. I should be back later tonight. Traffic is awful so I can’t get into it now. I promise I’ll explain later.”
She sank onto the edge of her bed, staring out her window at the snow-covered trees surrounding Cedar Bluff Hospital. Looking at the wintry landscape, it made her all the more aware of the coldness she felt inside. “You left town,” she said dully.
“Yes. But not for long. I’ll be back soon.”
Now it was soon, when earlier he’d claimed he’d be home later that night. So which was it?
She had a bad feeling he didn’t know.
“So what am I supposed to do? Go back to my apartment and sleep on my couch?” Her bedroom set just happened to be set up at Jadon’s house.
“I left a key to my place with Simon. He’s working second shift tonight, and he’s going to stop by the hospital to give you the key. If you want him to give you a lift to my place, I’m sure he will, but if you’re going to sit and visit with the girls anyway, you may as well wait there for me. It’s your choice.”
Her choice? What if she wanted option number three—none of the above? What if she wanted Jadon to forget about his family crisis because they were having their own family crisis here?
There wasn’t any choice. Jadon had already made it by leaving.
“Fine,” she said woodenly, unable to hide the depth of her disappointment and discouragement. She wasn’t sure she could stand going back to Jadon’s house under these circumstances, although the idea of going to her small apartment wasn’t much better. “Call me when you get back into town.”
“I will.” There was another pause, as if he wanted to say something more, but he only added, “Take care.”
She closed her eyes and whispered, “You, too,” before hanging up the phone.
The bitter taste of resentment nearly choked her. She buried her face in her hands to stave off the threat of tears burning the back of her throat. She should be glad he’d called her this time, instead of simply taking off without a word, but she wasn’t.
