“Oh, no,” Mr. Black says, shaking his head. With one swift motion, my dress falls to the floor and I’m standing in nothing but a bra and panties. He unclasps my bra and lets my breasts fall into his hands.
“Oh, wow,” I whisper as he kneels down and takes my nipple into his mouth. He massages my other breast with his hand and then switches sides. My panties are getting wetter and wetter with each passing second. Just when they are pretty much soaked, Mr. Black pulls them down.
“Wow, that was fast,” I say. He shrugs and pushes me down to the floor. Then he pulls my arms up and handcuffs them above my head. Each motion is swift and direct. He’s in control and there’s nothing I can do about it. At least there’s nothing I really want to do, except to let him take me on this wild ride.
After pushing my legs apart, he gets down on the floor in front of me and spreads my legs. Then he buries his head in between them. This time, however, his motions are no longer swift or fast. No, now he takes his time. He lets his warm tongue run over every part of me prior to burying itself deep inside. He swirls it around and around until my head starts to spin and I forget about everything else in the world. Suddenly, the outside world ceases to exist entirely
“Wow, that feels so good,” I mumble and slump back against the leg of the desk. Luckily, it’s rounded and only slightly digs into my back.
“I’m getting close,” I whisper as he starts to make concentric circles with his tongue.
“Oh, no, we can’t have that.”
He pulls himself away from me and unlocks my handcuffs. I expect him to take me over to the bed, but he simply turns me around to face the desk and places me on all fours. Then he handcuffs me to the leg of the desk again. My butt is now facing him. I’m stark naked and entirely exposed and it never felt so good.
He spreads my legs with his hands and pushes his finger deep within me. I moan in pleasure and say his name.
“Aiden? Who’s Aiden?” he asks, plunging his fingers deeper within me, making me moan even louder in pleasure.
“Mr. Black,” I correct myself.
“That’s better.”
While some of his fingers continue to swirl within me, others make their way toward my clit. They massage it and play with it, but stop short every time I feel like I’m about to reach my climax.
“You’re toying with me,” I whisper.
“Of course.”
I hear the ruffling of his clothes somewhere behind me. Before I get the chance to look back, I feel his big powerful cock plunge within me. He pierces me and then slides in and out, spreading me further apart.
“Oh, that feels so good.”
“It better,” Mr. Black says. His legs are in between mine, plunging in and out of me. He pulls his fingers away from my clit and stands up straight, holding me by my hips. He uses my hips as his guide, but quickly this isn’t enough for him. Oh, no. Before I know it, he makes his way toward my ass. At first, he squeezes each of my ass cheeks and then he presses his fingers inside of me. As he continues to slide and out of me, my whole body starts to tingle.
“Come for me,” Mr. Black commands. I take a deep breath and let go. Finally. Every part of my body explodes in pleasure as I let out one big moan. My head starts to spin and all I see around are stars before everything fades to black. A moment later, I hear Aiden yell out my name from behind me and fall down on top of me.
Drenched in sweat, we lie here in silence for a few moments before he says, “that was so good.”
“Yes, that was kind of amazing,” I mumble. “I love you, Aiden, and I love Mr. Black.”
“I’m glad you do.”
He unlocks my handcuffs and I snuggle up to him. He wraps his arms around me and we lie here, lost to the world outside.
“I want to stay here forever,” I say.
“Me, too.”
“I’m really sorry about everything.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ve just been so cold to you. Not just that. I’ve been so lost. I don’t know,” I say.
“You’ve been mourning your best friend, Ellie. I totally understand.”
I let out a sigh and it feels like the weight of the world lifts off my shoulders.
“I should’ve never broken off our engagement,” I say after a moment. “I want to marry you. I want to be with you.”
Aiden leans over and kisses me on the lips. “I want to marry you, too. But I don’t want to rush into anything. I’m here for you. I’m yours. And I will marry you the minute that you say you want to. But I will stay with you forever even if you never want to.”
This statement makes me want to marry him even more. But he’s right. I’m just lost in the moment. Overcome with emotion. Overcome with feelings of…anything. Actually, this is the first time that I felt like someone who wasn’t grieving. This is the first time that I forgot about what just happened and enjoyed myself. I need to savor this. I need this to last.
Chapter 19 - Ellie
When something unexpected happens…
The following morning is the first time I feel somewhat normal. I faintly remember Aiden giving me a kiss on the cheek and telling me that he has to go to work, but that was hours ago. Now, it’s way past ten. I stretch and slowly get out of bed. The sun is shining and birds are singing outside. I climb into the shower and enjoy the way the hot water runs down my body. For a few minutes there, I feel okay. Actually, more than okay. My thoughts go back to last night and a warm sensation starts to pool in between my legs. Okay, okay. You need to calm down, I say to myself. You can’t get aroused again. At least, not yet. You have all that work to catch up on.
After getting out of the shower, I sit down at his desk and check my emails. I’ve been browsing through them every day, but to say that I was actually checking them would be a bold-faced lie. When I check my email this morning, I have over two-hundred unopened ones and another hundred or so which I’ve read but still need replies. This is just too big of a problem to tackle right now. No, I can’t do this. Instead, I turn my attention to the latest installment of my Auction series. I was about a third of the way through it before that happened. I carefully review my notes to try to figure out where I was in the writing process. Much to my surprise, I discover that I was in the middle of a very exciting chapter.
I can do this, I decide. I jot down a few notes of where I want the story to go and then set the timer. I always write in twenty minute intervals. I start the time on my phone and then write according to the outline that I wrote down. Sometimes, I stick to it. Other times, I go off script. The characters talk to me and become their own people and I let them. I don’t constrain them, I let them go. It’s when I decided to let them be free, and become the people that they are meant to be, that my writing got so much better than it ever was before.
When I start to type, the words just flow out of me and the twenty minutes expire in what seems like only five minutes. The timer goes off when I’m in the middle of a scene, so I press return a few times to continue the sentence a little further down the page and get back to work. The next twenty minutes flies by just as fast as the first and I’m still not done. I haven’t written in a long time and the words just keep pouring out of me. I guess last night’s escapades invigorated me much more than I had previously thought. When the timer goes off for the third time, I decide to take a break. I count up the words that each session produced. Seven hundred fifty, eight hundred sixty-seven, and nine hundred ninety-eight. That’s a total of two thousand six hundred and fifteen words. Not bad. Not bad at all.
Perhaps, I should keep this streak going. I pick up a pen and start to write down my ideas for the next scene. But then…oh, no. I press my hand to my stomach. Oh my God. No, no, no.
I run to the bathroom. Luckily, the lid to the toilet is already open because I wouldn’t be able to make it otherwise. Before I’m even able to kneel down, I start vomiting. I puke until I can’t puke anymore, and when it feels like I’ve flushed all of my insides
down the toilet, then I puke some more.
“Oh my God,” I whisper, wiping the tears running down my cheeks. I’m not crying, they just come with the process. Somewhere in between the gags, my thoughts turn back to Caroline. I haven’t thought of her this whole morning. This was the first morning in weeks that was, by all accounts, normal. And now, suddenly, it’s not. I’m throwing up and I have no idea why. It has something to do with Caroline. I haven’t thought about her for some time and now I have to make amends. This is my punishment for forgetting her.
I barf again. And again. In between, I lie down on the tile floor and try to cool off. I’m not particularly cold. But I am covered in sweat. My entire body is out of whack. One minute my teeth are chattering and the next I’m perspiring as if I had just gone on a two mile hike through the Mohave Desert in the middle of summer. What the hell is going on? This can’t all have to do with Caroline, can it? No, maybe I ate something bad. I try to think. The last time I ate anything was last night. But then I would’ve gotten sick last night, right? Isn’t that how stomach flu works? I don’t actually know. I very rarely get sick and I hardly ever throw up.
I drape myself over the toilet and wait for more to come. But this time, it doesn’t. I flush the toilet and stare at the water as it fills up the bowl. Gathering some strength, I pull myself up to my feet and wash my face in the sink. The shakes have subsided a bit, but I still feel like I’m freezing. I change out of the sweat-drenched clothes and climb into bed. No, this has to do with Caroline. I threw up when I first learned about her death and here I am throwing up now as well. Is this how it’s going to be now? I’m going to go hours without thinking about her and then have this violent reaction at the end? Is this my way of not forgetting her?
Chapter 20 - Ellie
When I still don’t feel well…
I stay in bed most of the afternoon with occasional trips to the toilet. The only thing that seems to settle my stomach is bread. I can’t even drink very much water because it also makes me violently sick and sends me running toward the bathroom. Even standing upright makes my head spin.
“I stopped by and got some chicken broth,” Aiden says when he comes over after work. I hate him seeing me like this. Sick like a dog. Dressed in nothing but sweats with a smidge of makeup in sight.
“Thank you, but you really shouldn’t have.”
“Hey, I’m going to nurse you back to health if it’s the last thing I do.”
“You’re too sweet,” I say. And he’s true to his word. He waits on me all evening, bringing me chicken broth and making me toast upon request. He even climbs into bed with me, when I explicitly tell him not to, so we can watch Netflix.
“I don’t want you to get sick,” I say. “I mean, I might have a bad strain of the flu or something. You really should go home.”
“You’re throwing up every hour, Ellie. I’m not going home.”
I shrug and snuggle up to him tighter. I don’t have the energy to fight with him now.
“You know, this is the first time either one of us has ever been ill,” I say after a while.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Well, isn’t it a saying that you really shouldn’t decide whether the guy or girl you’re seeing is a keeper until the first time you’re sick?”
“Why is that?” he asks.
“Because it’s all about whether that person is there for you. You’re not looking your best and you’re going through something pretty rough, and it’s all about whether or not the other person shows up and cares for you.”
“And how am I doing?” he asks, giving me a squeeze.
“Very well. You’re doing an excellent job, actually. So good in fact that you’ve earned bonus points and you should probably go home now.”
“No way,” Aiden says definitively.
In this moment, I know that I will never love anyone as much I love him.
The following morning, I wake up as sick as the previous one. I spend close to an hour draped over the toilet. I’m so ill in fact that Aiden actually decides to work from home. He brings me tea, crackers, and toast and refuses go in to work no matter how much I beg him to. In the afternoon, I feel good enough to actually come out to the living room and watch television there. Aiden talks on the phone and types furiously on his laptop until five o’clock when he turns everything off and joins me on the couch. Our takeout arrives fifteen minutes after. I wasn’t sure what to order so Aiden ordered a variety of different Vietnamese dishes and appetizers just in case some things didn’t sit well with me.
“I have to tell you something,” Aiden says after I manage to eat one pot sticker. “This may not be the best time, but I just can’t wait any longer. I know that I should’ve told you this sooner.”
“Okay,” I say. For a second, I think it might be something romantic, but by the look on his face, it’s probably something serious. Damn. I’m really not in the mood for anything like that.
“I talked to the DA. From Maine? About Caroline’s case,” Aiden says as if I don’t know who he’s referring to.
“About what?”
“She was going to drop the case, Ellie. Without Caroline pressing charges and testifying, they were going to let Tom go.”
“So, it’s over?” I feel like someone has just punched me in the throat.
“Well, here’s the thing. The case that she had against him technically is over. But that’s not the only thing they have on him.”
My head is starting to buzz and I start to feel sick again. I can’t really hear or process anything that he’s saying. Even though Aiden is sitting right next to me, it feels like we’re talking to each other from across a football field.
“I don’t understand,” I say.
“I told her, Ellie. I told her that Caroline didn’t overdose by accident. I told her that she committed suicide. And that you have proof.”
“You told her what??” I try to get up and my head starts to swim again. "I can’t believe you! You totally betrayed my trust.”
“I’m sorry, Ellie, but she was going to let Tom go. He was going to get off. I just couldn’t let that happen.”
I shake my head. “Who the hell do you think you are, Aiden? Caroline trusted me. She didn’t want anyone to know.”
“But I’m not sure she knew that her suicide would mean that Tom would get off the hook. I don’t think she thought of all the consequences.”
“And if she did?”
“I don’t know. I just thought this was the right thing to do.”
“Well, it wasn’t!” I yell. I’ve never really yelled at Aiden like this before. I’ve never really been this angry at him before.
“Well, the DA thinks that she might have a case now. She wants to see the letter. She wants us both to testify at the trial. She’s going to build a case against Tom, saying that he caused her suicide.”
“I don’t care, Aiden. That letter— she left that letter to me. I was supposed to protect her secret. She trusted me.”
I’m just repeating myself over and over because it’s all I can do. A million thoughts run through my head and I can’t stop any of them. I can’t even slow them down.
Aiden keeps trying to explain. He did this because he didn’t want me to be the one who broke my promise to Caroline. It’s not really breaking a promise if he did it. Caroline didn’t really understand what she was doing. But none of these arguments make any sense. Maybe I just don’t want them to. No, right now, I just want one thing.
“I want you to leave,” I finally say.
“What?”
I repeat myself. He protests and says that I shouldn’t be alone when I’m feeling so badly, but I insist.
“I need you to leave. Now,” I say as firmly as I can. I’m in no mood to talk anymore. I need time to think this over. Time away from him.
My stomach starts to grumble again. I take one deep breath after another, hoping I can keep the nausea at bay until he leaves. A few minutes later, Aiden is finally gone.
Chapter 21 - Ellie
When I still don’t feel well…
My anger with what Aiden did intensifies throughout the night. I’m angry at him for going behind my back. I’m angry at him for revealing Caroline’s secret. I’m angry that now her mother will likely find out the truth and that’s not what Caroline wanted. But I’m also angry at him because I know deep down that he might have done the right thing. A predator like Tom should not get away with what he did just because he did something so horrible that Caroline actually killed herself over it. He shouldn’t be allowed to walk the streets because of a technicality. I saw him. He’s not one bit sorry or apologetic. And the DA dropping charges against him would just make him more cocky and righteous. No, Tom needs to pay for this. But it should’ve been my decision. I was the one who should’ve gone to her and told her about Caroline’s letter. But then again, if I had done that then I would’ve been the one breaking my promise to her.
I can’t sleep. I get up and pace around the apartment. When I get a drink of water in the kitchen, my eyes meander over the calendar. What date is it? Hmm. That’s odd. Wait a second. When was the last time that I had my period? My heart skips a beat as I try to remember. Not last week or the previous week. But four weeks ago, yes. I did have my period then. Okay. That’s a relief.
At least I’m not pregnant, I say to myself as I plop on the couch and flip on the television. I lie down and zone out for a while, watching late night re-runs of King of Queens. When I wake up an hour later, I again feel sick to my stomach. Perfect. I guess this is just a really bad case of the flu.
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