by Hazel Parker
She nodded slowly. “Okay, Blake.”
She started to fall apart then. Not an explosive meltdown, but silent tears that made him feel like he’d move mountains to keep them from falling down her face. He knew then that he’d made the right decision in taking things slow. She’d been using what was between them to distract herself from pain, not to savor and enjoy her first time with a man.
He silently held his arms out and she came to him. Nothing had ever felt so right as holding her while she cried. He was in trouble, in deep. Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to care enough to fight it.
Chapter Nine
Today was the day. After two, long weeks, the day that she would be giving herself to Blake was here. Finally, she would get everything she’d ever wanted…and she would lose one of the only things that mattered. After today, he would walk away from her. She couldn’t even have the satisfaction of working up a good break-up mad over it. Not when she’d known from the start that the only thing between them was lust…lust and money.
She still hadn’t cashed the check. Sometimes, when she wanted to keep Blake for her own more than anything, she would take it out and look at it. She needed to look at it to remind herself. To remind herself that he only wanted her for sex, and to remind herself that she was on her way to a better life. Somehow, it was hollow comfort.
Today was going to be perfect. She’d gotten a new dress that morning, along with a note from Blake saying that he would pick her up at six. Dread and desire chased each other through her body as she went to answer the door.
She was so nervous on the ride to the river that she could hardly breathe, but Blake managed to put her at ease the way he always did. She was going to miss that, his easy-going kindness. She wondered if he’d picked the site of their first date on purpose or if it had just been happenstance that led him to choose a picnic by the river for their last date.
“What’s on your mind, darlin’?”
That you’re never going to look at me again that way after tonight… “Nothing, Blake.”
Amanda forced a sunny smile to her face. She didn’t want to spend their last hours together mourning the end. There would be plenty of time for that later. The meal went at a leisurely pace that somehow flew by all too quickly.
They talked and ate, stole an occasional kiss beneath the warm afternoon sun that dappled the ground around them where it shone through the canopy of trees overhead. It was perfect, amazing…it was all the romance she’d dreamed of accompanying her first time since she’d become a young woman, all rolled into one afternoon.
The sexual tension between them could only become so tight before it snapped though, and eventually their kisses and touches became hotter, more searching and desperate as they hurtled toward the night’s inevitable conclusion.
“This is the last time you put your hands on my baby, Blake Daniels!”
Amanda gasped at the sound of her father’s voice. They’d been so wrapped up in each other that they hadn’t even heard his approach. Then he sucker-punched Blake. Blake stood, murder in his eyes. He looked at her, though, and his eyes softened. She knew then that he would hold back, that he wouldn’t hurt her father when he would hurt her in doing so.
He was able to quickly subdue her father, who cursed and screamed at him even though Blake had promised to let him go as soon as he calmed down and gave him his word that they could talk things out peacefully.
“Daddy, please…just tell him you’ll calm down,” Amanda pleaded.
“I won’t. I won’t until he swears to never again touch my little girl. Please, Amanda…you’re all I have left.” The heartache in his eyes tore Amanda up more than his rage ever had. She felt tears start to stream down her face.
She knew then that she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t have sex just to spite the man who’d loved her for all of her life and was only guilty of a single mistake. She couldn’t sleep with the man she’d started falling in love with for money just to have him leave her after he’d taken a piece of her soul.
“Okay, Daddy…okay.” With shaking hands, she reached into her purse and pulled out the check, tore it in two, and placed it in the picnic basket.
“I’m sorry, Blake. I didn’t mean to lead you on, but…I just can’t.”
She turned to run away from the picnic site then, stopping to call Aimee to pick her up only after she’d reached the main road. Had there been pain in Blake’s eyes, or had her own yearning made her imagine it?
Chapter Ten
Blake had never felt lower than when he’d restrained Amanda’s father. If he had a daughter who’d sold herself the way Amanda had, he’d have probably reacted in a pretty similar way, minus all the religious lines. Then when Amanda had torn the check in two and left him…he’d pictured her tearing up that check repeatedly over the last several days. In his daydreams, though, she’d torn it up because she’d decided to be with him just because she wanted to. Whatever she’d needed the money for, he would provide it…he just wanted her to realize the same thing he had: they were meant for each other.
There was a connection with Amanda that he’d never felt with anyone before. It blew his mind to think that she couldn’t feel how badly he wanted her to stay with him always.
She’d thrown herself back into the church with a fervor, as though if she attended enough services and bible studies, she could erase the sin she’d almost committed with him. Damn, he almost wished she had already committed it. No, though…this was better. This way he could find a way to make her want him without having to pay for her affection, for her time and trust. She was ignoring his calls though.
Amanda was going to have to hear him out, whether she liked it or not. Then if she wanted to walk away from him, at least he’d laid his cards on the table and she’d made an informed decision. He cornered her at the side of the church.
“I’m really in a hurry, Blake.” Christ. She wouldn’t even meet his eyes.
“I just want you to listen to me, Amanda. Two minutes, please. That’s all I’m asking for here. Just two minutes.”
The tension was radiating from her in waves. “Fine. Two minutes.”
“Thank you. I know that things didn’t start right between us. I should have handled things differently. I should have asked you to dinner the first time I realized how attracted to you I was…I didn’t though. I was afraid of getting hurt again after Sophie, I think. Then you made that announcement, and…I wanted you, but more than that, I didn’t want anyone else to have you. So I made the bid, even knowing that you deserved more than that, that you deserved commitment and romance.”
She hadn’t stopped him yet, and she was making eye contact now. He took a deep breath and continued, “Then we spent time together, and I realized that you’re every bit as smart and fun and passionate as you are beautiful, and I just…there is no one better for me than you. I want to be with you, really be with you. Not for a night, or for a week. I want you for as long as you’ll have me, Amanda.”
He stopped when he saw the tears that swam into her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks. “Just leave me alone, Blake.”
He would give her anything, yet she asked for the only thing he wanted to deny her. He couldn’t keep the heartbreak from his voice. “Okay, darlin’. If that’s what you really want.”
She hurried inside and left him wondering where the hell he was supposed to go from here, how he was supposed to move past this.
“So you really didn’t…you and Amanda were never…together?” He hadn’t even heard her father come up behind him.
“No, we weren’t. I could tell she wasn’t ready, and then…then she didn’t want me anymore.”
The man who’d been so angry at him just smiled a weary, sad smile. “I thought I needed to protect her from you; it looks to me like it might have been the other way around. I think I owe you an apology, son. Thank you for treating my daughter like the precious gift she is instead of taking advantage of her.”
“You d
on’t have to thank me, and I’m sorry that I didn’t look at things from your point of view from the beginning. I would have wanted to protect her too, if I were you and…I’d do it the same way again. I just wish…”
He didn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t know how to. He turned and strode toward the church parking lot, though he wasn’t sure just where in the hell he was supposed to go from here.
Chapter Eleven
It had been five days since Blake had come and torn her carefully reconstructed world apart. She’d tried to throw herself back into the role of preacher’s daughter, the one that she’d filled the vast majority of her life with. She’d been able to, even though the routine seemed bleaker than before, like all the color had leached from her life when she’d walked away from Blake. Still, though…she could see herself becoming content in the role eventually.
That was before he’d come back to her and tried to convince her that he cared for her. She didn’t know if it was true or if he was just trying to get her into bed after he’d been lusting for so long…now she wasn’t sure it mattered either way. She just wanted him, any way that she could have him.
It was these thoughts that led her to his door five long, lonely days after he’d claimed to care for her. She rang the doorbell and waited for him to answer it.
When he opened the door, he stared at her as though he couldn’t believe his eyes. He was unshaven, and there were dark circles beneath his eyes that made Amanda wonder if he’d been sleeping well lately. He reached out to touch her cheek, his eyes filled with wonder. She opened her mouth before she lost her nerve.
“I’ve decided that I want to have sex with you. I want more than that, but I won’t ask for anything in return. I want you, money or no money. I just—”
Her words were cut off when he kissed her, hard. “Thank God.”
Then he picked her up and carried her past the couch to his bedroom. As soon as he’d laid her on the bed, his large frame covered hers and he kissed her. There was none of the repressed passion he’d shown her before. This was pure, unbridled lust.
He kissed her for a few minutes before he ripped her shirt off, taking out a few buttons in his haste to get it off her. She felt chagrined until he unhooked her bra and took her breast in his mouth, and then she couldn’t feel anything at all besides his lips, his tongue, and unadulterated pleasure.
Just when she thought she would come unglued, he stripped off her shorts and kissed his way down her stomach. Her legs parted of their own accord, but she was shocked when Blake kissed the inside of her thigh. She knew about oral sex, of course—Aimee took delight in shocking her with tales of her sexual exploits—but surely not their first time. Aimee had said that men hardly ever took the time to do this…
“Blake, I’m not sure we should—”
“Let me make you feel good, sugar. This is your first time, and I need to make you ready for me, or it will hurt.”
“I, um…” She was going to say okay, but then she seemed to lose her ability to speak when his lips found her moist center.
“You taste so damn good, Amanda. So sweet…”
Chapter Twelve
She was amazing, erotic, and responsive, and innocent all in one gorgeous package. When she was on the verge of orgasm, Blake slid his fingers into her tight, wet opening while he continued to pleasure her with his mouth. He moved his fingers inside her, preparing her for the invasion of his steel-hard erection. Christ, he was so hard for her that it hurt.
Then she came for him, and the feel of her tightening rhythmically around his fingers almost burned away all vestiges of self-control. He shed his clothing and settled himself over her once more. Feeling his erection resting against her soaking-wet slit was torture, pure and simple.
“Are you sure about this, Amanda? We don’t have to do this if you aren’t—”
“Please, Blake. I want you inside me so badly.”
She didn’t have to give him any further encouragement. He positioned the tip of his penis at her entrance, then kissed her tenderly. “You’ll never know how sweet this gift you’re giving me is, letting me be your first, Amanda. I’m honored.”
Then he gently slid into her, going slow even though it was heaven and hell all rolled into one to finally be inside her, but to have to keep still until her body stretched to accommodate him. It eventually did, though. The first time she lifted her hips to meet his, he was lost. He slammed into her again and again. The orgasm took him fast and hard, and left him breathless and in awe.
He would never, he realized, respond to anyone else the way that he did to his dear, sweet Amanda.
“Darlin’, I’m afraid you’ve ruined me for other women.”
Her husky chuckle rang with the tones of a satisfied woman and filled him with pride. “Shut up and kiss me, Blake.”
Chapter Thirteen
Life had fallen into a predictable pattern since that day she’d shown up at Blake’s door, filled with uncertainty. It was a blissful, perfect pattern. Every evening after she finished work at the vet’s office, she would head out to Blake’s ranch. Sometimes they would go horseback riding or fishing, while other times they just hung out around the house. Always, though, they enjoyed every minute of each other’s company and the evening ended with Blake begging Amanda to stay. She’d given in a time or two, but it upset her father for his unwed daughter to spend the night with a man, even if it was one whom he now heartily approved of.
Today was different though. Today when she walked through the door, Blake had been so absorbed in his laptop that he’d hardly noticed her.
“What has you so engrossed over there, Blake?”
He looked up at her and grinned. “Online auction.”
“You’d better not be bidding on the same thing you bought the last time you used an online auction. I’m a jealous mistress, babe.”
He didn’t even hear her. “I’m pretty sure I just secured the winning bid. Now get over here.”
She gladly complied. “I don’t think you understand the concept of online auctions. The idea is to pay the smallest amount possible, not to pay ridiculously exorbitant prices to avoid competition.”
“I don’t know,” he replied, his gaze raking up and down her body. “My way seemed to work pretty damn well the last time I tried it.”
An hour later, she was entwined in his arms, sweaty, breathless, and utterly satisfied.
“So what were you bidding on?”
“I’ll show you.”
A moment later he was back beside her with his laptop. Her heart filled with joy when she realized that he’d bid on an exquisite diamond engagement ring.
“What do you say, Amanda? I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. Will you marry me?”
“Well,” she replied saucily, “It looks like I have to, since you already won the ring…”
He let out a whoop of joy and kissed her again. “See? I have a way with online auctions, you know.”
And so, Amanda thought, did she. One had, after all, led her right into the arms of the man of her dreams.
*****
THE END
More Steamy First Time Right Here
Chapter 1
Today was one of those days that just felt lucky. And it was a day when Kelly Wilson needed luck. She was currently settled at a Harrah’s blackjack table. Eagerly, she watched the dealer as he began to reach for the cards. She’d already placed her bet. This was going to be her moment.
It seems Kelly had known about gambling her entire life. And of course, she had heard the good and the bad. Her native Georgia did not allow casinos, so she would travel to South Carolina and take her pick of casinos seated at the base of the mountains. Part of her wished that her home state would embrace casinos and the revenue they brought. Part of her enjoyed having an excuse to get away whenever she was home from college.
Kelly found gambling to be extremely glamorous. She watched all the movies growing up. Gorgeous, sexy women, gangs
ters, and the glamourous lifestyle—what wasn’t to love? The women were always decked out in jewels and expensive clothes. She idolized it and wanted to be that. Reality, of course, is much different.
Like she had never seen any gangsters or glamourous gorgeous women here in Cherokee. Once she was good enough, she would get to Vegas, experience the real deal. Hopefully hit it big.
The University of Tennessee in Knoxville had really stood out to her as a high school senior. Not only was it only a three-hour drive from her home in Atlanta, the Indian casinos in Cherokee were only a couple of hours away by bus. So she applied and got accepted.
Kelly’s obsession with the gangster lifestyle continued. The fantasies of money and men swirled happily in her mind from her very first trip. She had told herself on that trip that she was on her way to being a big-time gambler. She thought back on that day a lot lately.
The first time that she had made the trip was right after her twenty-first birthday, and her heart had leapt at the sights and sounds of the casino. Granted, it was smaller than she had seen on television, but still incredible. The rush that Kelly felt as she put her first coin into the penny slot, the thrill at watching the screen spin and the images pop up, it was all unforgettable. She did not care that her winnings were minuscule; she was having fun and that was what mattered.
Actually, she had not won much at all that first trip. In fact, she had lost a lot—a thousand dollars, to be exact. She had left feeling disheartened, but it was okay. No one was perfect their first time, right?
Today it was going to be different. Actually, she had said that every other time, but this time she felt it. It would be different.
Or maybe it was just that she needed this trip to be different. This time, she really needed to win some money.
At the table in front of her, the dealer flipped over the cards. Instantly, Kelly’s eyes widened in horror. She did not need to listen to what he said, or pay any further attention. She knew from what she had seen in the cards what had happened: she had just lost everything.
