I walked away with my chin held high and my sketchbook in hand. My pace was languid with no destination besides working out some of the excess energy pent up after words with Mom that should have been said long ago.
“Ethan,” my name rang out.
Before I could fully turn, I was enveloped in my Aunt’s embrace. “You made it back.”
I could barely nod in agreement as she kept a death grip around my neck.
“All the family I have left is you and Livy.” She exhaled sadness. “And I haven’t been a good Aunt. You know your mother, she’s insufferable and she hasn’t exactly been a fan of my choices until she had nowhere else to go,” she said slightly sarcastically. “I hope you’ll forgive me.”
She patted my back as if I was still five and not a giant to her short stature. She, however, wasn’t done.
“We’ve all done wrong by you. Yet, you’ve grown to be such a fine young man. I know you lied to me the other day about what Dad said. And I’m touched you would say something so incredibly kind to ease my aching heart over not seeing my father these last couple of years. I know he didn’t speak of me in his dying breath. But I appreciate you.”
She patted my cheek. “Have you eaten?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Manners too. It’s such a lost art of kids these days. Come honey, let’s get something to eat, and you can tell me about how school is going.”
Even my Aunt’s constant chatter couldn’t clear my head of the worries that bombarded my skull. Jess was pregnant, and I had to do right by her. I made a call to Mr. Lambert after lunch. I told him what I needed done for Jess and my kid… My kid. Staring at the ceiling, I couldn’t get beyond the idea that there would be a little person who could look a lot or a little like me.
It was too bad I couldn’t take back my confession, so I could watch my kid grow up to be what I could not. Lightning fast, I got up off the bed and went to the closet with the need to do something. I pulled out my camera bag and headed for the door. The hallways were devoid of noise and full of shadows. The sun would set, and I wanted to capture the beauty of the place in still photos, something I could take with me on the other side. I used the stairs and was soon out into the dusk. The rainbow of golds it the hills cascaded over the ground. I clicked the shutter and remembered Jess and my first time.
forty-nine
the night before high school graduation
It was Senior Skip Day, a tradition founded by students and accepted by teachers. Jess was finally off her parental house arrest and had come over to spend the day with me by the pool. Our plan was to go to a graduation party that night, but the way she wore that bikini, I wished for something different.
I hadn’t put pressure on Jess. I’d even opted not to get a room for us on Prom Night. I knew she hadn’t been ready. Instead, we’d gone to the school sponsored after-party with the theme of a casino night. They even had a mini golf set up and go karts. It had been fun. And for the first time since my first time, I hadn’t had sex for more than a half a year. For her, I knew I could wait an eternity. I wanted her to be absolutely sure with no regrets before we went down that path. That, and I knew her father would kill me if he ever found out.
“Are you nervous about graduation?” she asked from the lounger next to mine.
The night was warm and almost over. I couldn’t wait for summer. “No.” There was something else though. “I do wonder about going away for school.”
She tried to hide her concerns by teasing me. “We won’t be that far apart.”
“I’ll be there bugging you every chance I get,” I warned. There was no way I could let distance come between us.
I caught the insecurity in her eyes. “Right, all the girls are going to chase you until you forget about me.”
She had no reason to worry. I was hers and hers alone though I didn’t call her on it. “I’m just a motorcycle ride away.”
“I guess,” she half shrugged. “I’ll go upstairs and get changed.”
When she stood, I took the opportunity to pull her onto my lap. Her eyes went smoky, matching mine.
“You’re ready to go to the party?” Because I wasn’t.
She shook her head and pressed her lips to mine. We kissed, and I managed to keep my hands on her back and not on the places I wanted to explore. However, there was no doubt where my mind was. She sat squarely on my lap.
“I love you, Ethan.”
All thoughts of everything including sex fled my mind. It was the first time she’d said it. I stared into her pale blue eyes while my heart leapfrogged across my chest. I’d told her once already, but again, I hadn’t put pressure on her to say it back. To hear her say though made every nervous fear I had because of my past blow away in smoke.
“And I’m ready,” she whispered.
Before my rational mind took over, I stood with her in my arms.
“I love you, too,” I said needing her to know we were in this together.
“I don’t want to go to the party,” she announced. She reached around her back and untied her bikini top as if her I’m ready comment hadn’t been enough for me to understand.
I gaped. I hadn’t had sex in so long it felt like I was the virgin, desperately eager and ready.
“Kiss me,” she demanded.
My control was on the verge of snapping, but I had to be sure. “Jess—”
“I’m sure,” she said before I could get all the words out of my mouth.
Our mouths fused together as I walked her to my room with her in my arms. When I opened my door, she stiffened, and her eyes popped open. It was easily to figure out the question she hadn’t yet asked.
“None,” I said. “Only you Jess.”
I laid her on my bed where no other girl had been before. It had been my only place of comfort, and I hadn’t wanted memories of girls I didn’t care about to tackle me every time I went to bed. With Jess, it was different. I wanted those memories.
Even though I was more than ready, I took my time as she lay bare to me. I teased her in places that made her squirm. I gave her first rocketing tremors with my hands. When my fingers glided to her hips and squeezed, I stopped before tugging at the strings of her bikini bottoms. “This is the part where you tell me to stop.”
“No stopping,” she breathed.
Hovering over her, I watched a flush cover her from head to toe. “Jesus, Jess.” She was more than I imagined as continued my exploration placing my mouth on every inch of her skin.
I hated the part where I had to stop and put all precautions in place, so death by her father wasn’t in my future. But fumbling in my drawer since I hadn’t prepared for this moment, took away time from touching her skin.
As cliché as it sounded, when all the planets were aligned, I had to warn her. “It’s going to hurt a little.”
Jess continued to prove she was all in by her quick response. “It’s okay, I know.”
I took my time inching my way in. When she cried out and caused my muscles to lock up under the strain, I breathed, “Jess,” in question.
“I love you,” she said in response, breaking the chains that bound me.
I did my best by her and for her. I tried to listen to her response every time I moved, determined to learn if something was good or bad for her. When the force of our joining created a pyrotechnics display never seen by the likes of any man, I murmured, “I love you too,” in her ear.
fifty
The pungent smell of upturned earth and the disturbance of the well maintained green-carpeted ground would be all that I remembered. The words of a priest that had never met my grandfather and the other words by self-important men who wanted to make political statements in the form of grief didn’t even register in my ear.
The sounds of the bugle and the firing of guns, however, did make an impression. I sat in front next to my Aunt with Mom on her other side; all of us in traditional black as per Mom’s not so subtle request. To anyone that didn’t know our family well, w
hich would be most of those in attendance, they would assume Aunt Margaret was the one with a son. That didn’t bother me. Instead, I tried to dispel memories of another graveside funeral from encroaching on the short-term memory part of my brain.
“I can’t believe the nerve of those reports,” Mom ranted. She fiddled in her bag to pull out her pack of cigarettes.
“Oh no, you’re not,” my Aunt said. “You are not smoking in here.”
Mom had one in between her fingers before she glanced up, rolled her eyes, and ranted on. “It’s my father’s funeral. It’s not the time to talk about my dead husband’s schemes.”
“Mom,” I gritted in warning. My hands were fisted in my lap unable to do anything with all my frustration and unexpressed emotions. I didn’t like her tone of voice. She could say whatever about me, but she wouldn’t disrespect Dad. I never believed he was guilty of all they said.
“What? You’re just like him. I can’t wait to get far away from here.” She glanced at her wrist where the diamond-encrusted watch Dad had given her a couple of years ago for her birthday lay.
What a hypercritic? I wanted to say. I almost offered her a ride to the airport. Then I remembered I had a meeting of a different sort. I couldn’t give her a ride if she had taken me up on it, which she wouldn’t have.
Hours later, I’d packed up my things certain Mom would ask me to leave once the will was read. It didn’t matter. With my bag by my feet, I sat in the one of the three assembled chairs in the room where Mr. Lambert held court. One I hadn’t yet seen before. I kept glancing at the large monitor on the desk that was aimed in our direction.
Aunt Margaret held my hand and gave it a little squeeze when the lawyer began to speak.
“I don’t think I need to go into details why we are all gathered here. George made his final will a couple of years ago and put great thought into it. I hope you all will abide by his wishes. However, it is within your rights to contest the outcome. His will is very detailed and gives little room for arguments that he didn’t put consideration into the distribution of his estate.”
He paused and held up a thick document before he continued. “I have the executed will. Please note, that I have filed it with the proper state and local courts already. However, I won’t read this document to you word for word. I’ve already spoken to the staff about what was left to them.”
“What?” Mom said, nearly levitating out of her seat.
“Please, Mrs. Hart. The total amount given to the staff is far less than one percent of the total estate.”
That quieted Mom down. She sat, and Aunt Margaret squeezed my hand again. I glanced over to see the corner of Aunt Margaret’s mouth lift in a small smile.
“Instead of the traditional reading, your grandfather made a video detailing out his instructions.”
With a click of a remote, the screen came to life. A healthier version of the man that I’d briefly met filled the screen. With color in his cheeks and silver hair crowning his head, he was an imposing man. He commanded attention and had me leaning forward in my seat a little in anticipation to hear him speak.
“No way but to say it. Obviously, if Mr. Lambert followed my wishes, you are watching this because I’m dead. And hopefully, my two daughters and my grandson sit before the screen watching the spectacle.” He sighed as if he were resigned to his next words. “Let me begin with Maggie. My sweet Maggie always had a big heart and big ideas. Maggie or should I call you Margaret? I do love you. I know I may not have been the tolerant father when you needed, and I may have said all the wrong things about your choices in life. You must know that you are always my daughter and always loved. I may not have agreed with your ideas of how I should get rid of all my money, but I did respect your views. Maggie, I’ve left you with a sum of one million dollars. And before you refuse the money, think of it as a retirement fund. You and your partner will be able to live comfortably in your golden years. You won’t have to rely on the kids you and she may or may not have. I want you to have that security so please accept.”
He glanced away from the camera and took several breaths before he turned back.
“To my daughter Elizabeth,” he sighed. “I regret pushing you away because of your choice of young men. He turned out to be a good one. I regret hiring that private investigator and telling you about his past. He was a good man and worthy of you. However, I’ve watched you over these years as I’ve watched over each of you. And I feel as though I did you a disservice. Where Margaret is charitable, you are far from that. I know I previously disowned you, but I can’t in good conscious cut you out. Hopefully, this amount will keep you comfortable.” I chanced a glance at Mom. She was practically salivating in her seat. “I’ve left you the sum of one million dollars. I think you can take that money and make it grow or waste it.” One more glance showed a frown deepening on her face.
When grandfather spoke again, I turned back to face the screen.
“To my grandson, Ethan Hart. My boy, you’ve grown to be quite the young man. You’ve had a few bumps in the road that no one can blame you for. It builds character. You’ve turned all the bad into good. I see great things from you. You are the future of this family. That’s why I’ve left the rest of my estate to you including the house and all the rest of my financial assets.”
Mom shot out of her seat like a cannon. At the same time, Mr. Lambert paused the screen.
“He can’t do this. Ethan’s not even his grandson.”
Aunt Margaret stiffened as the breath left my lungs.
“This can’t happen,” Mom declared with clenched fist.
Mr. Lambert was far too calm as if he expected this to happen. “Mrs. Hart, please sit. We can speak after this is over if you like.”
“Father’s estate is worth millions if not billions of dollars. He can’t leave it to that.”
She pointed at me like I was a thing and not a person. In light of her revelation, I had to draw on strength I didn’t know I possessed in order not to shrink under her glare.
“Mrs. Hart, if you do not sit, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
After a moment of condemnation in the form of a glare, primly, she sat wiping and hand over her skirt as if to smooth it out. I stared wanting to say something but couldn’t find words. I wasn’t her son. Was that the reason she hated me so much? But if I wasn’t hers, who was my mother? Who was my father?
Mr. Lambert pressed play because my grandfather began to speak again.
“Ah, Elizabeth, I can imagine the words that have just left your mouth. Ethan is my grandson. He’s legally yours. Yes, I’m aware of the situation. Unfortunately, I can only guess that Ethan is only hearing of this for the first time. I have detailed out what I know of Ethan’s parentage in my will so that it will be understood that I am fully aware of what I’m doing. Elizabeth, if you choose to contest the will, you will lose. And Ethan, don’t let your mother bully you. I’ve given this estate to you and no one else. I have my reasons. I hope you will abide my choice as well.”
There was another pause, and I didn’t move. Everything that had been said in the last few minutes had changed my life completely.
“One more thing. Ethan, we didn’t get much time together. I’ve taken up recording stories of our family history as memories come to me. It’s been a hobby of mine the last several years. Mr. Lambert will provide you the videos, and you can watch at your leisure. You are the future of this family. Remember that family isn’t always blood. For instance, a husband and a wife aren’t bound by blood, but together they create a family. You may not be my grandson by birth, but you are my grandson in truth. That was one good thing Elizabeth did. I’m just sad that she allowed outside factors and her insecurities to destroy a mother-son relationship. Yes, I’ve been watching. I love you all and wish you all the best this world has to offer.”
He saluted the screen before it went dark.
Mom stood. She scowled in my direction before turning her glare on Mr. Lambert. “You’ll hear
from my lawyer,” she declared before she stomped out.
I let out a heavy breath once she was gone. That explained it all. Well, most of it. I was sure I didn’t know the whole story, but what I did know answered so many questions. Aunt Margaret hadn’t let go of my hand. Her grip was tight almost to the point of pain.
“I’m sorry Ethan.”
“You knew,” I choked out and lifted my head to stare at the woman I thought was my Aunt.
She nodded. “You’re parents had planned to tell you at some point, but then…”
But then Dad had died or maybe before that when they were having so many problems, they could hardly be bothered with making decisions like telling me I was adopted.
“Dad?” I managed to ask.
Mr. Lambert cut in. “Ethan, I have the information your grandfather found. To answer your question, Mr. Hart is your biological father.”
I thought back to a memory when I was little. Mom had mentioned another woman to Dad. I hadn’t heard everything that was said, but Mom must have been talking about the woman who’d given birth to me. But there was something else. Mom had given birth to a son, so where was he?
My phone vibrated in my pants. I pulled it out needing something to do. I stood and turned my back on my Aunt and lawyer. When I saw Jess’s picture flash on the screen, I’d almost made the mistake and hit ignore.
“Hello,” I breathed because ultimately, I needed her. She was more than the love of my life; she was also my best friend.
“Ethan,” a male voice said.
Open mouth, I put a hand on the back of my head and stared out the picture window that gave sweeping views of the side of the…rather my house. It was too much information. I didn’t put together the voice until it was too late.
“I have Jessica. This place you have is pretty great I’ll admit. You have two hours to get here or your time is truly up. Tell no one Ethan or I’ll kill her.”
His words rang out and mimicked the last message I’d received. I couldn’t process anything based on his time limit.
Broken Lens Page 25
