“It’s okay. Like I said, I should get back to work.”
“I’ll call you later.”
“You better. I have to sing you happy birthday.”
“Are you sure about that?”
She laughed, and I knew we were good. “I feel like maybe I should Skype you and sing it for all your friends to hear.”
“Now I know you hate me.”
“Never that. You have the best day, and I’ll talk to you tonight.”
Later, after our small get-together turned into a full-blown party, I stopped watching the door when Lenny didn’t walk through it.
Standing by the kitchen island pouring drinks, Shelly appeared with a large cake in her hands. People started singing and all that faded away when the door opened and Lenny finally walked in.
My eyes had been trained on her. I hadn’t even noticed that the song had ended. I didn’t notice Shelly until it was too late.
“Happy birthday, Kelley.”
Warm lips met mine as everyone cheered. I pulled back and searched for Lenny. I caught sight of her back as she made a hasty exit.
“Lenny,” I said, moving around the counter and to the door.
I caught up to her outside. She spun around, her dress catching the breeze, giving me more view of her gorgeous legs. Her mouth opened as if she started to say something, but closed before she could.
Jumping on the opportunity to explain, I said, “Len—” before she cut me off.
She shook her head and her dark hair spilled around her shoulders. “It was a mistake to come here.”
“Why, because you wonder what there could be between us?”
Fuck it. I was tired of being the better guy. I wanted who I wanted.
“Exactly. I do wonder what would have happened if you stayed. But you didn’t.”
“It wasn’t my fault.” Fucking Ox had ruined my one chance.
“Does it really matter?”
Our conversation was eclipsed by piercing words not too far from us.
“You’re never going to change, given what I saw in there. I’m not like those girls, Chance. All we can ever be is friends. So just stop, okay? I don’t want to hate you anymore.”
We faced each other, and I saw resignation in her eyes. “She’s right. The best we can hope for is friendship.”
She must have thought I was fucking around again, and I had to set her straight.
“Len, I can explain about the phone call earlier.”
Her hair danced around her face as she shook her head. “You don’t have to.”
“I do. It was my stepmom. Well, sort of.” Pinched brows added to her confused expression. “My dad didn’t exactly marry her, but she did become my mom.”
As I told Lenny the story, I slipped into the memory.
We’d been staying with Pam for a few months. Dad had steady work, and Pam was easy-going. I’d started school for my senior year, and with football practice, I wasn’t home a lot. Things were semi-normal. Only, I knew it wouldn’t last.
Summer storms that included some lightning had canceled practice that day. So I’d gone home on the bus. The small house wasn’t much, but it reminded me a lot of our old house in Galveston because Pam had decorated it to feel like a home.
I walked in on an argument. A part of me wanted to turn around and go to the library, but the slur in Dad’s voice was all too familiar, and I couldn’t leave Pam to face that alone.
“You can take your sorry ass out of here if you think you can talk to me like that.”
His fist balled as he growled, “Woman, don’t you—”
My bags thumped to the floor as I quickly moved to stand between them.
“Don’t,” I warned.
I wasn’t small anymore. My growth had come quickly and so fast, I didn’t have clothes that fit.
Dad huffed. “So what’s it going to be, boy? You think you can take me?”
I’d avoided Dad’s fist for the most part since we left Texas. So I had no idea if I could. But I held my ground.
“Try me.”
He laughed and turned his head to the side. I’d been taken by surprise too many times to know his game. So when the swing happened, it missed me by a mile. I, however, landed a solid punch his chest, sending him backward to fall on his ass.
“You don’t know what you’ve done. You’ve gotten us both kicked out. And I ain’t taking you with me.”
“He can stay,” Pam said in a rush. I turned to look at her over my shoulder, and she nodded. “You can stay with me, honey.”
I faced my father again as he got to his feet and teetered to stay upright.
“He’s my son. You can’t have him if I call the authorities.”
“But you won’t,” Pam said smoothly.
“And I’ll be eighteen soon.”
“So get out, James. And don’t come back.”
Blinking back into focus, Lenny gave me a hesitant smile and something I didn’t name swimming in her eyes.
“I’m happy for you. She sounds great.”
“She is.”
“You deserve that and more.” She lifted on her toes and kissed my cheek. “Happy birthday, Kelley.”
The kiss ended far too quickly, my face all tingly and shit. I watched her fall back to her feet and cast her eyes away. She began to turn away, but stopped.
“I forgot. I got you this. It’s nothing big, especially seeing that fantastic cake. You can throw it in the trash. They didn’t have much of as selection. It was this or one with Barney on it. I hope your birthday wish comes true.”
“If it were your birthday, what would you wish for?”
Her response was curious and made me wonder if I had hope.
“Freedom.” The word bounced in my head. “What about you?” she asked, walking backward as Brie linked her arm through hers.
It was my Hail Mary. “A second chance.”
My attention wasn’t on the small box she gave me. I watched as her smile disappeared as they hopped in Brie’s car and drove off.
Chance stepped over, grief wafting off him. “What did she give you?”
I opened the box to find a perfect cupcake inside. It reminded me of the ones she’d made me for my birthday years ago. The only difference was the candied butterfly stuck in the icing.
Brie appeared on the verge of tears.
“What happened?”
She glanced over at me. “You know, the same old shit, just another day.”
“And?”
“Oh, now you’re playing therapist?”
“Whatever it takes.”
“Fine,” she began. “He wants us to get back together. But the past is the past. And I could never be with him knowing I’ll always resent what he did.”
After she dropped me off, I thought about what she said. Even if I left him, would Kelley and I honestly have a chance? I finished all my chores for the night and thought everything was cool until he caught me in the jaw unawares.
“You are making a habit of coming home late and that’s unacceptable. Do you want to tell me where you were, or should I?”
His question was rhetorical as he didn’t really want an answer. I stumbled back as hits two and three sent me succumbing to the darkness.
In the middle of the night, I woke up with vomit nearby. My mouth tasted foul, so it had to be my own. I rolled to the side and pushed myself up, hardly able to see. I didn’t search for a mirror. I cleaned my mess first, not wanting more pain for being so fucking untidy. Once done, I found the couch and a bag of ice I laid across my eyes, before sleep claimed me again. Morning came with no fanfare or apologizes. I made breakfast with a new pair of sunglass covering my eyes. I slunk to class, wondering who I’d become.
And for that reason, I plunked myself in the library chair with determination. Complicated could describe my situation, but I had no intentions of staying in it forever. I had a plan, but I needed money to leave.
Nodding off from lack of a full night’s sleep, I didn’t n
otice his approach.
“Long night.”
His voice was unmistakable as I jolted upright in my seat.
“How did you find me here?” I asked.
“It didn’t take a genius to figure out you would switch to a different library.” We had two on campus.
“What do you want?” I asked wearily.
“I wanted to see you.” Before I could stop him, he reached over. “You aren’t a diva. You don’t need to wear sunglasses inside.”
My hand clasped air too late as his shock was evident. The glasses clattered to the table as he dropped them.
His tone was sharp but tempered due to our surroundings. “Who fucking did that to you, Lenny? And don’t give me a bullshit excuse about falling down.”
I snagged the dark glasses and repositioned them back on my face before others would pay attention to the growling guy in front of me.
“What does it matter to you? I’m no longer your concern.”
His hand balled into a fist. “You don’t understand, Len. You are my butterfly effect.”
My eye hurt when I tried to narrow my other one to slits, wondering what he was talking about.
“You aren’t making sense.”
“You’re wrong about that. The theory behind the butterfly effect is that the flapping wings on the continent of, say, Africa can be the catalyst of a hurricane in Mexico. The bruises on your face are like that. They are the death blow stabbing through my heart. I watched my dad hurt my mom year after year. I tried to be her buffer, but it didn’t always work. And now she’s dead. There is no way you can expect me to say nothing or do nothing.”
“That’s exactly what I expect you to do. You have no idea what my life is like. Maybe I wanted this.” That was a lie, but I had to do my best to discourage his interference. “Or maybe using your theory, your leaving way back when is my butterfly effect.”
His jaw slackened as though I’d slapped him. And I took the opportunity to pack my things quickly. “Don’t follow me, Kelley. Just leave it be. I’m not your mother. And God rest her soul, but she died because of a disease, not your father. So don’t interfere.”
I practically ran out the door, looking over my shoulder. But he didn’t follow. With every step, I pretended I wasn’t that girl trapped in a bad relationship. Or that he hadn’t looked at me like I was smarter than that. Maybe I once was. The cage I’d built was woven in actions too late to change.
Once I knew he wasn’t coming after me, I slowed my pace. I had no reason to rush. There were only a few hours in the day that I could call my own. The rest was spent at school or home with responsibilities I’d never asked for, but couldn’t take back. I hadn’t wanted to be a wife. But I played house every day.
When I made it home early as it was, Dina came out the door. For a second, I wanted to be angry. The girl shouldn’t have expected me this early. But maybe she was picking him up.
But then Prescott came out the door and everything changed in a matter of moments.
What had Lenny been trying to tell me? How had my leaving her changed her life? I pulled myself together and followed her. But she’d disappeared like a scared rabbit. Only, I knew where she’d end up. So I drove to her street and parked behind another SUV and waited. The asshole who hit her needed to be taught a lesson.
Almost an hour later, when I was ready to give up my stalker routine, she appeared. Her face was radiant, with a smile worthy of a toothpaste commercial. How could she be so happy? Then I saw her lips move. The closer she got, I saw the tiny hand she held and my heart stopped.
What the fuck?
She was nearly to the front door of her building when a woman around the same age came out. The boy let go of Lenny and ran toward the woman as she knelt down. Lenny stayed back and watched.
I sighed after almost coming to the wrong conclusion. Was Lenny a nanny? I had so many questions until a familiar figure exited the apartment doors.
My reality was blinded by the conclusions I’d drawn. I’d exited my truck long before I realized I was beating a path in their direction.
The boy was still wrapped around his mother several feet away. So I didn’t mince my words.
“What the fuck, Lenny?”
Her startled eyes darted between the two of us like she’d seen a ghost.
“Kelley fucking Moore, what are the chances?”
I barely glanced at the guy. Instead, I said to Lenny, “Ox, really, you’re with Ox, Odin Prescott?”
“I can explain,” she pleaded.
My head spun in disbelief.
“Oh, she can explain.” Ox snagged her wrist, and she winced.
I might have sympathized with her if he didn’t rub it in my face that she wore a familiar engagement ring as he held her hand for me to see. Disgusted, I stumbled back a few steps, when the boy ran to Ox and called him “Daddy.”
Pressing one side of his face to his father’s chest, he eyed me wearily with one blue-eyed stare.
I turned, stomping my way back to my truck. Lenny called after me, but my head was full of confusion. Ox had cheated on her. She’d left him and come to my bed. How could she end up with him again? Was the kid hers or the blonde’s?
Something was so messed up with that situation, I couldn’t see through it. I didn’t sleep that night, so when practice came in the morning, I was not on my game. We didn’t wear full pads in the morning. It was more of a conditioning practice. Still, I got knocked on my ass by the defensive linemen more than once.
“Moore, what the hell is up with you today?”
I shook my head, more to clear it than in answer to the coach’s question. My teammates stared at me as well. But I wasn’t about to bare my soul about a girl who had the power to shred my heart.
“Go sit this out. And you have stadium stairs after practice this afternoon to further clear your head.”
“Yes, Coach,” I said before jogging over to the bench.
I let the shower rain down on me after practice, knowing I would be late for class. Most of the guys were gone when I got out of the tepid water.
“What’s going on, Kel?”
Chance had slung his bag over his shoulder, heading for the door.
“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head, unsure I could make sense of it.
“You know I got your back and I won’t say shit to anyone else.”
I nodded. He’d proven himself in the time I’d been at the school. I’d told him things I hadn’t told Ashton or Sawyer. Things he could relate to. And he’d never ragged me about it or said anything to the others.
“I know.”
“Did you hear from your dad or something?”
“No,” I said sadly.
“Is it that girl, Lenora?”
I exhaled heavily. “What do you know about a guy named Odin Prescott? He might also go by Ox.”
He shook his head. “Never heard of the guy. Why?”
“He’s the shithead Lenny went out with in high school who called the cops on me when I kicked his ass. He’s the asshole who forced my father to make us move.”
“Oh, shit. He’s here.”
I nodded. “And she’s with him even though he treated her like crap then. I don’t get it.”
“Women. I’ll never understand them. Maybe you should let her go. She sounds like one of those who like guys who treat them like shit.”
I would have argued, but why? “Yeah, maybe.”
“Well, get your head out of your ass. The big game is this weekend. I hear NFL scouts will be there and they are looking at you.”
Shrugging, I said, “I don’t know why. I haven’t declared anything.”
“Yeah, well, you’ve already made a name for yourself. You could enter the draft and be picked in the first round. Think about it. It could change your life.”
I had thought about it. But Mom wanted me to go to college and get an education. If I gave it up for money and fame, would I dishonor her wishes?
Late in the afternoon, my l
egs felt like jello after fifty reps of stairs. And I walked as though I were threading cement. Not listening to Chance’s advice, I was determined as fuck to get answers. So I’d headed toward the library at a snail’s pace. Only, I came up short.
Her hair swung side to side from her long ponytail as she hurriedly walked toward home. I was in good shape, but two hours in the hot sun with weight training and running the stairs had left me useless. I watched as she continued to put more distance between us.
Resolute, I found energy enough to finally keep pace. I knew where she was going, so I didn’t run after her to catch up. Only she stopped at a small building just on the other side of the street from the far side of the campus.
While she was inside, I closed the distance and heard noise coming from the back side of the building. Children’s happy chatter filled the air with remembrance of a time long past. As I crept around the side, I saw a walking trail that probably led to the park not too far away. That was a good thing because I didn’t want the staff of the daycare center to think I was a potential kidnapper.
That’s when I saw her talking to some kids. Did she work there? I’d come too far not to ask her. So I walked toward the chain link fence that separated the kids from the outside world. Several children darted away, but the familiar kid from yesterday spotted me.
“Mommy, who’s that man?”
My heart thundered to a stop and not because of the little boy’s words. Lenny stood and turned slowly as if she already knew it was me behind her.
“Kelley?”
There were no words to describe my feelings. I clenched my jaw, forcing back what I wanted to say. It was Lenny’s kid.
“You need to explain yourself,” I said as calmly as possible.
I curled my hand around the metal bar that formed the top of the fence. The bits of metal that twisted the ends of the crisscross design bit into my palm. I didn’t care.
“Mason, go play with your friends. I’ll be there in a minute.”
The kid nodded and ran off. Then she stood straight and looked at me.
“I can explain.”
“Good,” I barked. “You have two minutes to tell me why that kid has my eyes.”
Chasing Butterflies Page 18
