by Cathryn Fox
My eyes widen. I never considered room service. “Eating here sounds better than getting dressed and going back out into the cold.”
He runs his finger down my arm, and I quiver. “I thought you had fun today.”
“I did, but I had fun inside too.”
He grins, slides from the bed and reaches for the phone. He puts in our order, knowing exactly what I like to eat. My mind races. I know when this weekend started, it was about overdosing on him so come Monday morning I could walk away. But I’ve been a fool. A total and utter fool for thinking this weekend would tear us apart. All it did was bring us closer together, make things better.
Why can’t Tyler move to Indiana with me?
He said he wanted to go back to school, finish his degree. Maybe we can put the past behind us, and start doing all the things we’ve talked and dreamed about. If this weekend has taught me anything, it was that we’re good together, and that he’s the only man I want beside me as I check things off my bucket list.
He’d called me his wife today, and I damn well liked it. I want that. I want everything with him. Here I said I’d never give him my trust, but along the way, intentional or not, I’d gone and done just that. But the past is the past and this Tyler has been nothing but caring, attentive, taking care of me, his family, and even the guys on Dad’s football team as he walks the straight and narrow, no sign of trouble in his future. Once this weekend is over, we need to carve out some time to talk, sooner rather than later.
I just pray to God I’m not making a mistake in trusting this new version of Tyler, otherwise…well, I can’t go there.
17
Tyler
“I was not afraid,” I say as Sara teases me about our trip to the Empire State building from the passenger seat.
She pokes me in the side and chuckles. “I thought you were going to pee your pants.”
“Stop it,” I say, laughing, and grab her hand. I take it in mine, bring it to my mouth and pretend to bite her finger.
“Seriously, Tyler, it was amazing,” she says on a sigh, and lays her head against the seat, her smile so big and wide my heart fills with the love I feel for her. I gaze at her for a second longer, then turn my concentration to the dark road ahead of us. After getting up early this morning and visiting the Empire State Building—yeah, it was fucking scary—we spent our last day in New York roaming the streets, drinking coffee and browsing the shops. Now here we are, driving before sunrise to make it back for Mom’s Thanksgiving dinner.
As I put on my signal light and pass a car, Sara lets loose a long, contented breath, and I can’t help but smile. We’ve come to a new place, Sara and me. I can feel it deep in my bones. I’m smart enough to know this weekend was about closure, but it had the opposite effect. Everything in the way she looks at me, touches me, alludes to something deeper, something even better than we had before. But what now? Where do we go from here? She has her folks and her work to consider, and I made a promise to her father and urged her to move away, start fresh without me.
Her lids fall shut, no matter how hard she tried to keep them open. I lower the radio so she can sleep. I take a pull from my water bottle and concentrate on getting us home safely, despite the fact that I’m tired, too.
Many, many hours later as the sun rises on the horizon, I pull up in front of Sara’s apartment. She stirs beside me.
“What time is it?” she asks quietly.
“We’re here?”
She sits up, blinks and looks around. “Already.”
“Time goes fast when you’re sleeping.”
She frowns. “I’m sorry, Ty, I would have done some of the driving.”
“It’s fine, and your snoring kept me wide awake anyway.”
She whacks me playfully, and reaches for the door handle. “Come on in. I’ll make you something to eat, then you can sleep for a bit.”
I release my seat belt, and climb from the car. Hand in hand, we make our way to her apartment. Once inside, I strip to my boxers, make a quick trip to the bathroom, and come back to find her pouring me a bowl of cereal.
“Cereal?” I tease, my heart so full as I watch her pour milk into the bowl. Being with her like this, playing house, feels so right. “I drive all night and all you give me is cereal.”
“But it’s Captain Crunch,” she says.
“Well then…I’ll let you get away with it this time.”
She puts it on her table, and pours herself a bowl. We sit quietly together and eat, and she shakes her head at me. “I don’t know how you can eat this stuff. It’s pure sugar.”
“Mmm, sugar,” I say and take another spoonful.
I scarf it down, put my bowl in the sink and stretch out. “Come to bed with me?” I say, needing to hold her in my arms.
“Just for a bit. I told Gracie I’d make dessert for dinner.”
She stands, holds my hand and we make our way to her room, and that’s when it occurs to me that I hadn’t had a nightmare in a very long time. Sleeping with Sara in my arms has kept the demons at bay. The fresh scent of her sheets surrounds me as we slide in together. I pull her to me, spoon her from behind. Her hair tickles my nose as my body relaxes and I drift off to sleep.
Hours later, a phone chirping in the other room wakes me, and I stretch out and check the clock. Damn, I must have been really tired. We’re due at Mom’s in less than an hour.
I kick the blankets off and pad quietly down the hall. I round the corner and find Sara in the kitchen, talking quietly on the phone. From the conversation, it sounds like she’s talking to her parents. I watch her for a moment, take in the sway of her body, her graceful movements as she puts the dishes in the sink, keeping her voice low as to not wake me.
When she finally sets her phone down, I whisper, “Hey.”
Startled, she turns, her hand to her chest. “Tyler, you scared me.” Alarm turns to a scowl. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough to know.”
“Know what?”
I push off the doorframe. “How much I want to be inside you.”
Her scowl changes to arousal as her gaze drops to take in my tenting boxers. I pull her to me, claim her mouth with mine, and the soft, sexy mewl rising in her throat turns me on even more. I break the kiss and she puts her warm hands on my chest, fingers splayed.
“I want that too, Ty. But we have to be at your mom’s in less than an hour and look at me.”
I step back, take in her upswept hair, the pieces falling against her face. My gaze rakes over yoga pants that hug her curves, and an old tattered T-shirt that showcases her beautiful breasts. She has chocolate smeared on her cheek. I swipe it with my thumb, and bring it to my mouth. “Mmm, sweet.”
“Chocolate cake,” she says.
“No, you. You’re beautiful, Sara.”
Her eyes glaze at the compliment. “I need a shower.”
“Me too.”
“Oh, no,” she says laughing as she gives me a push. “If you climb in there with me, we’ll be late, and I’m not going to be late for Thanksgiving dinner with sex written all over me. Besides, I need you to put the icing on the cake. It should be cool enough now.”
I groan. “I’d rather put icing on you.”
“Tyler,” she warns, pointing a knife at me before handing it over. “I’ll shower first, then you.”
“You’re kind of mean,” I say as I take the cake from the fridge. “And if I make a mess of this, it’s your fault.” I go to work slapping the icing on the cooled cake, then smoothing it out. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing, but as long as it tastes good who cares. I shake my head. Who’d have ever thought that I’d find myself in Sara’s kitchen icing a damn cake, thinking about her naked in the shower as she gets cleaned up for a family dinner.
Family dinner.
My heart takes that moment to hitch. I want a family with Sara. I want everything with her and for the first time in a long time, I feel like we can have that. A lifetime has passed since
things were this good between us, and I’m almost afraid this is too good to be true.
By the time she comes back into the kitchen, wearing a soft blue dress that falls just above her knees, I’m finished making a mess of the cake. She looks at it and smiles.
“Good job.” She takes the knife from me and gestures with a nod. “Go shower.” She proceeds to do little swirls with the knife, creating a design. I hurry to the shower, rinse off, then shrug into my jeans and T-shirt. Since I don’t have anything dressy at Sara’s, I’ll change when I get home.
Thirty minutes later, I park the car in Mom’s driveway. The front door swings open and Alex comes running out barefoot and without a coat on. I jump from the car, throw my arms around him and hold him tight.
“Hey little brother,” I say, and struggle to keep my voice even. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”
His fingers curl in my jacket, tugging on me hard, and his breath is uneven as we hold each other. As hard as I try, I can’t keep the memories of him at bay the day they took me away.
“Thanks,” he finally says. “I’m so glad you’re home.”
Working to keep my shit together, I inch back to see his pretty face and don’t miss the water in his eyes. Fuck, mine are wet too. I missed my baby brother so fucking much. “I want to hear all about Penn State, and your scholarship,” I say, keeping one hand on his shoulder, needing the connection with him.
The car door closes and I turn at the sound. Sara is leaning against the door, a warm smile on her face as she takes in our brotherly show of love.
“Alex,” she says. “It’s so good to see you.”
Arms wide—Alex is obviously a hugger—he runs to Sara, scoops her up and spins her around. “Sara, I missed you.”
She laughs out loud and my throat clogs at the sight of them. I stand there, grinning like the village idiot as they reacquaint, then grab the cake from the back seat.
“Get in here before you catch your death of cold,” Mom says from the doorway. She’s scowling, but beneath it, there is so much joy on her face. She’s happy to have her family all together again, Sara included.
We all rush inside and Mom hugs herself as she shuts the door. “Sara, I’m so glad you could come,” she says, no hint of worry on her face today. It seems like everyone is now accepting the fact that Sara and I are together again. That things are right in the world once again.
“Same, Viola.”
Mom smiles. “You didn’t have to bring anything.”
“I think Gracie might have something to say about that. This is her favorite.”
“Sara,” Gracie says from the door and the two hug as Lucas comes racing down the stairs, looking good in his dress shirt and pants. We exchange nods, and he says hello to Sara before making his way to the fridge despite the big turkey on the counter. I swear all that boy does is eat.
Sara stands back and takes in my sister. “You’ve been experimenting with that make-up kit haven’t you. You look amazing.”
Gracie beams up at the older sister she always wanted, and my heart pounds in my too-tight chest.
“After dinner, maybe we can go over some of the strokes I’ve learned,” Gracie says.
“I’d like that a lot,” Sara says.
“I should get changed,” I say, and dart upstairs. I pass my bedroom, and see that it’s still empty. Alex must be in his own bed, which means I have to go back to my room. Oddly enough, it doesn’t quite seem so painful anymore. I grab my clothes from the other bedroom, including the box that Justin sent with my clothes, and take them all to my room. Soon enough I have to start thinking about getting my own place—a place with Sara far away from here. I plop down onto my bed, my heart tumbling around in my chest. A noise at the door has my head lifting.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Sara says quietly. “Your mom sent me to find you. Dinner is ready.”
I stand, my gaze going from Sara, to my trophies, back to Sara. Her eyes are full of questions as she looks at me. She walks into the room, lightly runs her fingers over the base of my trophies. Tears prick her eyes as she turns back to me, and leans against my dresser. A strange, strangled noise catches in her throat, and I brace myself.
“Why, Tyler? Why did you do it?” she asks, the question that has no doubt been plaguing her for nine long years but until now, never had the courage to ask.
“Sara,” I say and take her into my arms. I bury my face in her hair, wanting to tell her everything but I can’t. “I’m so fucking sorry I hurt you.”
“Ty,” she says and wraps her arms around me. “Is it going to be different this time?”
“Yes,” I say. “I made a mistake. It won’t happen again.”
“I need to believe that.”
“I know.”
“I can’t…”
“I know, Sara.” The sounds of the plates hitting the dinner table prompt me into action. I inch back, wipe the tears from her face, and capture her hand. “You okay?”
“I am,” she says. “You?”
I nod, and we make our way to the kitchen, and take our seats.
“Mom this looks amazing,” I say as I look at the feast before me. The shit they fed us in prison still haunts me.
Lucas reaches for a drumstick, and Mom slaps his hand away. “Grace first, you know that.”
Everyone chuckles, then we all lower our heads as mom says a prayer and we all give thanks for the meal in front of us. I lift my head, look around the table. I take in my family, and lace my fingers through Sara’s beneath the table, knowing I have so much to be thankful for.
Soon we’re lost in conversation, Alex telling us all about football and school. When I mention I’m going back to school too, a huge smile splits Mom’s mouth, and Alex pats me on the back.
“You and Sara going to finally open that sports store you always talked about?”
“Maybe,” I say and steal a glance at Sara, who is watching me carefully. My gaze slides to Lucas, who is checking his phone. He frowns, shoves it back into his pocket, and shakes his head.
What the fuck is going on with him?
I plan to find out, but now is not the time or place. We finish our meals, and after we all help with the dishes, Alex and I plunk down to watch the game while Mom, Sara and Gracie pull out Gracie’s make up kit.
Lucas disappears upstairs, and comes back dressed in his jeans and an old shirt. “Gotta go out for a bit,” he calls from the kitchen.
“Hey,” I say. “What’s going on?”
“Just a friend with car trouble,” he says and I’m about to stand, but the door slams shut behind him. I look at Alex, who just shrugs and goes back to watching the game. But something is off with Lucas. I feel it deep in my bones, and I’m not about to ignore it. Tomorrow I’m going to hunt him down and get to the bottom of the matter.
After a while, Sara pokes her head into the living room. “I should get going. I’m tired and have an early morning tomorrow.”
I jump from my chair, and Alex stands with me. We exchange another hug.
“See you at Christmas,” I say.
“Can’t wait. See you, Sara,” he says.
“Proud of you kid,” I respond and give him a nudge on the chin with my fist.
I say goodbye to Mom and Gracie and walk Sara around to the passenger side of my car. She slides in and I scan the streets as I walk around the front and climb in. Something is off tonight, a strange ripple in the wind. The hairs on my neck stand, and I can’t help but feel there is a storm coming. Only this storm isn’t weather related. Maybe it’s because right now life is going too good. I can’t ever forget my motto: when it’s too good to be true…it probably is.
I slide my hand across the seat and hold Sara’s as we make our way home.
Home.
Jesus I like the sounds of that. I park, and scan the streets again as we walk to the front security door. My boots thud as we move down the hall to her apartment. She lets us in, and I lock up behind us. She turns to me, her eyes dark
, serious. She looks like she’s about to say something important. Her mouth opens, but then she seems to hesitate. Her cold hand lands on my chest and I put my palm over hers to warm her.
“The weekend was perfect, Tyler, just perfect.”
“You think it’s over?” I tease as I shrug out of my coat and unzip hers. I know we need to have a long talk, but first I need to make love to her, then the two of us can figure out where we go from here.
She touches my face. “I love you,” she whispers.
“I love you too,” I say and scoop her up. “I’ve never stopped.” I carry her to the bedroom, ready to show her just how much I love her, when my damn phone goes off.
“Shit,” I say.
“Do you have to answer?”
I hesitate for a second, but my mind races to Lucas and his behavior tonight. “Yeah,” I say and fish the phone from my front pocket. Every muscle in my body clenches and red-hot rage goes through me as I read the message. I take a minute to compose myself even though all I want to do is hit something, but I glance at Sara, who’s looking up at me with nervous eyes. Jesus Christ, we were just getting our footing again. I can’t involve her in any of this. I won’t.
“Ty,” she says, looking at me like she’s never going to see me again. But that’s not going to happen. I’ll go help my brother, and then when I come back, I’m going to talk to her about our future.
“I have to go.”
18
Sara
After a very restless night, I wake to find the other side of the bed empty, and the minute I do, my throat tightens. When Ty left here last night, his eyes murderous, every instinct in my body went on high alert. I waited hours for him to come back, to hear him put his key in my lock, but ended up falling into a fitful sleep.
What the hell is going on with him?
It’s a question I’m not sure I want the answers to. Last night he said this time it would be different, and I have to cling to that. I have to believe he’s living a crime-free life, otherwise… Well, there can’t be an otherwise. There just can’t be.
