Glancing back at the door, Rowan saw that the young woman had departed. She’d certainly been among the children who’d enjoyed his father’s attention, yet he could not place her. She would have been one of the younger ones sitting on the floor before his father.
For the first time since discovering the duke’s infidelity, rage did not course through Rowan at the memory. Neither was he filled with the unrelenting need to punish someone—anyone—for his pain.
The shock and denial were long gone. The hurt that had trailed Rowan for all these years, and eventually morphed into the overwhelming sense of guilt he felt, was also not as sharp. He’d grown accustomed to the loneliness of his situation, to the point where he no longer thought it odd that he counted so few as friends.
No, his fury at his father had, at some point, ebbed. Now, Rowan saw the light. His dark days were coming to an end along with the deception.
He was here, at Craven House, not to take what rightfully should have been passed on to Marce and her family, but to put a final end to their ruse and move on.
To be free of the lingering anxiety that hung over him at every turn was almost inconceivable. No longer would he live each day exacting retribution for his father’s misdeeds.
Though, living without the burden of his past weighing him down meant letting Marce go. How could he keep her bound while freeing himself from the shackles he’d made for himself? Rotating slowly, he took in the room that had altered his path in life and changed him into a man he didn’t recognize; one that’d sent him spiraling toward his own demise—all while taking an innocent woman with him.
He’d embarked on each business venture knowing she awaited his return. He’d traveled home to visit his mother with Marce by his side.
It seemed as if Lady Marce Davenport had always been his constant. And now he wondered, what would his life be without her?
Would loneliness overtake him completely, dooming him to continue on with no one by his side? Nothing would matter if he were cursed to a life of solitude without the benefit of a wife and family. He’d thought he lived a full life—one dedicated to his business endeavors and his time at Hadlow. Yet, once his mother was gone, Marce would continue on with a future that didn’t include him, and Tobias would be happily wed, and…Rowan’s life would be without meaning and purpose.
Chapter 21
Marce sat behind her desk, watching Garrett as he inspected his perfectly combed hair and adjusted his cravat in the looking glass close to the door, trying to best assemble her words to inquire about his ability to house her at his lodgings if the need arose. He was the only sibling to understand the weight of the financial trouble Craven House was in—though not so fully that she’d admitted her folly in accepting a place in the duke’s ruse. There was only so much she was willing to burden even Garrett with before crossing the line from caregiver and provider for her siblings to treating them as equals who should take a measure of responsibility for their family home.
Supporting her family was Marce’s obligation and duty alone.
It was a promise Marce had dedicated her life to fulfilling.
Truly, one of the only promises she’d ever made to anyone.
…besides agreeing to act as Rowan’s wife.
That she’d broken her promise to the duke was one her mother would surely understand and voice her support of were she alive to witness their quarrel at Hadlow. Rowan had been many things during their long association—mysterious, solemn, arrogant—but intently cruel had never been one of them, nor had he ever been demeaning. He’d forced her to accept his conditions for their arrangement, but beyond that night, he’d allowed her the space she needed. He’d never, on any occasion, treated her so brutally, disregarding her feelings as if they were of little import.
It was impossible to reconcile the lord she’d come to know with the man she’d met during their recent time at Hadlow. He’d been volatile, unrestrained, and simmering with an emotion she didn’t understand. In the end, he’d lost control—they’d both lost control.
She’d stopped short of giving him everything. During the dark hours of the night, Marce had dreamed what it would be like to give herself completely to Rowan. To throw caution to the wind and embrace the simmering passion that had drawn them together—despite their many years of anguish.
It would only be Marce who suffered the consequences if that happened.
Marce was to lose her home. She would also bear the embarrassment before her siblings. She’d had no other option but to sacrifice the duchess and their close relationship as a result of ending her association with Rowan.
“Penny for your thoughts, dear sister?” Garrett mused, catching her stare in the looking glass.
Straightening, Marce smiled. “I was about to ask you the same.”
The simplest way to turn her brother’s line of questioning in a new direction was to give him the opportunity to speak about himself. It was not a tactic Marce was proud of using against him, but it never failed to steer the conversation in a more favorable direction.
“Oh, I was pondering whether I should allow my hair to grow a bit,” he mused, turning his head from side to side and pulling at the ends of his tresses. This time proved no different than the other times Marce had used this approach. “Fashion is ever-changing, and I seek to alter the way women view me. Do you think if I grew my hair longer—like that new lord about town, St. Seville—the ladies of the ton would fawn over my rakish appearance?”
Marce wanted to laugh but never would she wound her brother’s delicate pride—vain as his words were. Instead, she pressed her lips together pensively before responding. “I think any woman would be lucky beyond measure to have you by their side regardless of the length of your hair.”
“You are biased, dear sister,” he retorted, once again pulling his hair taut until it hung past his collar, nearly grazing his shoulder. “Mayhap my wardrobe needs a bit of reworking, too. Sir Edwin McGuire wore pantaloons of canary yellow to a ball a week ago, and he is already being hounded by every marriage-hungry maiden in town.”
“Isn’t Sir Edwin the man who inherited a large sum of funds from a deceased spinster aunt in Cornwell?” Marce wasn’t one to read up on town gossip, however—
Payton skidded into the room, nearly stumbling on the rug at her feet as she inhaled deeply to catch her breath. “Marce, you have a guest in the front parlor.”
She and Garrett glanced at the clock in unison. “Are you expecting someone?”
Her reply wasn’t one in need of voicing, for Marce rarely entertained visitors beyond the men who came for her card nights. The daytime hours at Craven House were ones spent quietly, only interrupted by her siblings and the chores that needed to be accomplished to secure employment or travel for the women she helped.
“I am fairly certain you are familiar with your guest.” Payton’s honey-coated tone alarmed Marce.
Her siblings were kept above stairs when she entertained below, and never had the two crossed in all the years since her mother’s death.
“Tell me it is not the magistrate come asking after Jude again,” Marce sighed, pushing from her seat before freezing. “Or another debt collector here to settle a score for…you.”
“Oh, no, this guest is neither of those. It is the dark-haired man you warned me against at the ball a few months ago.” Payton winked and bounced from the room, likely going to hide in the darkened hall outside the parlor to eavesdrop on Marce’s conversation.
In the pit of her stomach, Marce had known it was Rowan all along. She was actually shocked that he hadn’t come sooner; however, his inconvenient ways continued as he arrived when her two siblings were also at Craven House. If he’d come later in the afternoon or early the next morning, no one in her family would’ve been the wiser.
“A man…here to see you?” Garrett asked, popping from his chair. “I will speak with him directly and ascertain his intentions before I send him on his way without further entanglement.”
> In any other instance, Garrett’s brotherly concern would have incited laughter. The younger Davenport had never been what Marce would consider the responsible sibling, nor the best in formal situations.
“You will do nothing of the sort.” Marce moved toward the door. “You will gather Payton and return to the dining hall. I will join you as soon as I’ve spoken with my visitor and have sent him on his way.”
Garrett’s brows pulled low, and if she tarried a moment longer, the questions were certain to come. She was quick enough to realize how suspect a gentleman caller seeking her attention was, especially during the daytime hours.
To escape his questioning glare, Marce patted his shoulder as she passed and continued out into the hallway, silently pleading for him not to follow. Lying to her family wasn’t something Marce set out to do, but to keep them from the heartache that coursed through her at the impending loss of their home, she would. She would smile, hold her head high, and prance about the house as if she were happy as a lark without a worry in the world…until she was alone and the time came to face the consequences of her decisions.
And worse? Rowan had given her a few days, nearly a week, to settle back into her life in London. Marce had continued as usual at Craven House, helping the women who needed her, all the while packing the things that meant the most to her: the drawings Sam and Jude had incessantly painted in their youth, Garrett’s first fencing rapier, Payton’s collection of books on gambling tricks, their mother’s collection of scarves, and all the portraits she could find of their family. Very few existed from recent years; however, she’d found several of Jude and Sam with their father when they were only infants, and several more from when her own sire was still with them. They were all stored in trunks in an empty spare room on the third floor next to Mr. and Mrs. Darlington’s chamber.
Marce listened as she walked down the hall toward the foyer, her footsteps muted by the rug beneath her feet, but she heard no signs of Garrett following her. Perhaps, this one time, he would do as requested and give her a moment’s privacy to hear Rowan’s edict and accept her fate before joining her family for their meal.
What if the duke demanded she leave immediately? Surely, he would not dare. Yet, why else would he attend to this himself and not send his man of business or a solicitor?
She’d hurt his mother by calling off their ruse. Maybe now he wanted to see her in the same pain. Did he not see the anguish she’d lived with since their first meeting? The agony she’d endured over the years was more than enough to satisfy his need for retribution. Both for his father’s transgressions and his mother’s hurt.
The door to the parlor was slightly ajar.
She peered through the gap in an attempt to catch sight of Rowan and gauge his mood—would he have returned to the cool, aloof lord she’d become accustomed to over the years, or have changed once more into the erratic, unpredictable duke from her recent trip to Hadlow?
Uncertain which was preferable or what he sought to hide by his shifts in demeanor, she pushed the door open and entered, closing it behind her with a forceful slam.
If her siblings were hell-bent on eavesdropping, she would not make it easy for them.
No matter his current state, she knew enough about him to know his intentions, while misguided, were genuine. He cared about Leona greatly, and everything he’d done was to protect her, even if that meant hurting Marce.
The sight of him made her heart stutter for a few beats before it resumed its natural rhythm. His hair was combed in the precise manner he favored, his trousers and jacket tailored to fit his imposing frame, and his cravat would put any other valet’s attempt to shame.
So, she was to face off against the rational, composed duke then.
“What are you doing here?” she hissed, careful to keep her tone low and not allow any weakness to show. “You could have sent word telling me to leave Craven House. I’ve already stated I will not fight you. Are you here to embarrass me in front of my family? That is so predictable, Your Grace. As if you are not exacting enough from me already, you seek to ruin my standing with even my own siblings. Shall I call them to the room to make it easier?” She flung her arms wide as her voice rose. “You can share all the details of the last eight years with them. Tell them that their sister is nothing but a lying, deceitful schemer. I would leave the word whore out of it, though. Even with my many faults, my brother will not take kindly to the term.”
Rowan shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, remaining silent but never taking his stare from hers.
The tension drained from her as her fury ebbed. “Do what you must or leave, Rowan. It is past time this thing between us is ended. I only ask that you give me today. I will gather my things and depart Craven House on the morrow.”
All the fight left her, and her knees quaked, her legs threatening to collapse beneath her. Despite their argument at Hadlow, Marce had held back. She’d not said all she wanted. Hurling insults would do nothing to change her situation.
His muted silence unnerved her, until finally, he said, “I am not here to cast you from your home.”
She’d be foolish not to notice his choice of words…your home.
After all these years, after his threats, after their argument, he still called Craven House her home. It made little sense. They were both aware that the property belonged to the Harwich dukedom, no matter what Rowan’s father had promised her family. They both knew who was in control.
“Then why are you here?” Her tone spiked with confusion. A new thought slammed into her. “Is Leona well? Has her sickness grown worse?”
She scrutinized his almost chameleon-like stare as the color wavered between green and yellow, attempting to gain some information from his silence, but he remained calm as if his being here—in London and at Craven House—was no more significant than a stop at his tailor’s to select pewter or brass buttons for a new coat.
Breaking eye contact, Rowan turned and paced toward the unlit hearth, focusing on the black hole where flames should be devouring logs and keeping the room warm. She hadn’t expected any visitors and had therefore instructed Mr. Curtis not to waste their supplies to start an unnecessary fire. It was the same with the candles about the house, there was no need to light excessive wicks to brighten rooms no one was to occupy.
No excuse or apology was necessary for the decisions she made on a daily basis.
“My mother is well, at least she was when I departed Hadlow at first light.”
The breath she hadn’t realized she was holding escaped on a sigh. “Leona is well, and you aren’t here to demand I leave. So, what are you doing here, Rowan?”
Chapter 22
Rowan fought every natural instinct in him to keep from drawing Marce into his arms and insisting that everything would be fine. He was not taking her home, nor would he expect her to continue with their arrangement. Giving Marce her freedom also meant allowing himself a measure of independence, something that terrified him. As a duke, he had more autonomy than most men, though wealth and status did not keep the loneliness at bay.
“There has been a grave misunderstanding between us—“
She shook her head, causing a single curl to fall to her shoulder. “There has been no misunderstanding. I knew exactly what you expected of me, and I decided to call off our ruse. You were very clear about what you think of my life and me. I believe common whore said it all.”
“You heard me incorrectly.” He pivoted away from her. The anguish in her stare was too much for Rowan to handle. Her every word drove a dagger deeper and deeper into his heart. “I did not mean…”
He’d said what he said, and in that moment, he’d meant every word.
“I said those horrid things to cover my own hurt, the pain inside that grew a thousand times worse each time I saw how content you and Tobias were together…without me. Insinuating such an intimate connection, however—especially using the words I did—was something I did out of anger. At both of you, yes. But mos
tly at myself.”
“What I do or do not do is none of your concern, Rowan,” she fumed.
“I know you and Tobias have developed a kinship, one I am not a part of. One I did not realize I wished to be a part of until I witnessed the pair of you in the meadow.” Or had it been when she waved to Tobias as they stood in the gardens?
She took a step toward him, her finger pointed at his chest. “And if we decide to continue our friendship, that will not concern you either.”
“I understand that, Marce.” Rowan longed to fall to his knees and beg for her forgiveness. He longed to ask for… Ask for what? He would never ask her to continue playing his wife. He had no designs on Craven House, nor any say in her future plans. But bloody hell, he wasn’t ready to simply walk away and return to a future of seclusion either. As sad as it might sound, she was one of the few constants in his life. “I am here to beg for your forgiveness.”
She stumbled back a few steps as if she’d been pushed as his proclamation settled in the air between them. Her eyes narrowed in doubt. “Do you know how hard it has been to keep this from my family?”
“I never asked you to keep us a secret.”
“There is no us!” Her hands balled into fists at her sides. “And the alternative was to tell my family—my four siblings—that I was essentially selling myself to a duke and pretending to be someone I am not.” Her bitter laugh echoed in the room. “I’ve raised them to know they are worth something—that they are worth everything. I’ve longed for nothing more than for them to find happiness, no matter where it comes from. I preached about decorum, appropriate behavior, and the need to refrain from any activities that could be deemed scandalous—if not for themselves and their futures, then for the future of their other siblings. And the entire time I was acting the hypocrite. And it was you who made me into the charlatan I am today. You forced me to make a decision that went against every moral fiber of my being. Yes, I could have turned down your proposition; however, what chance would my family have had for a future if I’d turned you away that night?
The Madame Catches Her Duke Page 17
