by Cate Tiernan
I hated everything that I had just overheard. But more than that, now I was afraid.
10. Magesight
Things are starting to heat up, and not just because of the Seeker. We have been having many visitors. Many I've never seen before-others I remember from all over the world: Manhattan, New Orleans, California, England, Austria. They come and go at all hours, and I keep coming across little knots of people huddled in this room or that, heads together, discussing, arguing, making magick. I don't know all of what's going on, but it's clear that our discovery here has set many things in motion. And the circles! We are having them almost every day now. They are powerful and exhilaration, but they leave me tired the next day.
-Sgath
After school I wanted to talk to Cal about what I had overheard, but he was already gone. He'd left a note on my locker, saying he'd had to go home and meet with one of his mother's friends. So for now I was on my own with my questions about Bree and Raven and their coven. Even Mary K. wasn't coming home with me. As I was getting into Das Boot, she ran up to tell me she was going to Jaycee's house.
I nodded and waved, but I couldn't bring myself to smile. I didn't want to be alone. Too much was troubling me.
Luckily Robbie sauntered over to the car. "What's up?" he asked.
I shielded my eyes from the pale November sunlight and looked at him. I wasn't sure whether or not I should tell him what was on my mind. I decided not to. It was too complicated. Instead I merely said, "I was thinking about going to Butler's Ferry park and gathering some pinecones and stuff for Thanksgiving."
Robbie thought for a moment. "Sounds cool," he said. "Do you want some company?"
"Absolutely," I said, unlocking the passenger-side door.
"So, do you have family coming in for Thanksgiving?" he asked.
I nodded as I pulled out of the driveway, picking up speed on the open road. "My mom's parents, my dad's brother and his family. And then everyone who lives in town. We're having dinner at our house this year."
"Yeah. We're going to my aunt and uncle's," Robbie said without enthusiasm. "They'll be yelling at the football game on TV, the food will suck, and then my dad and Uncle Stan will both get plastered and end up taking a swing at each other."
"Well, they do that every year," I said, trying to inject some humor in a not-so-humorous situation. I'd heard about this from Robbie before, and it always made me sad. "So it's almost, like, traditional."
He laughed as I turned onto Miltown Pike. "I guess you're right Tradition is a good thing. That's something I've learned from Wicca."
Soon I was pulling into the empty Butler's Ferry parking lot and cutting the engine. I retrieved a basket with a handle from the trunk. Despite the cold the sun was trying hard to shine, and it glittered off the leaves crumpling under our feet. The trees were bare and sculptural, the sky wide and a pale, bleached blue. The peace of the place began to steal over me, calm me down. I felt suddenly happy to be here with Robbie, whom I'd known for so long.
"So are there any herbs or anything around this time of year?" Robbie asked.
"Not a lot." I shook my head. "I checked my field guide, and we might see some stuff, but I'm not counting on it I'll have to wait till spring. I'll be able to collect plants in the wild then and also start my own garden."
"It's weird that you're so powerful in Wicca, isn't it?" Robbie asked suddenly. But it wasn't a mean or probing question.
For a moment my breath stopped, and I thought about telling him everything that I had learned about myself in the past month. Robbie didn't even know I was adopted. But I just couldn't tell him. He'd been my friend for so long; he'd listened to me complain about my family, and he'd always pictured me as one of them: a Rowlands. I wasn't up to dealing with the emotional backlash of spilling the whole story again. I knew I would tell him sometime. We were too close for me to have this huge a secret. But not today.
"Yeah, I guess," I said finally, keeping my voice light "I mean, it's amazing. But who would've thunk it?"
We grinned at each other, and I found a pretty pine branch on the ground that had three perfect little cones on it I also stopped to pick up a few oak twigs that had clumps of dried leaves on them. I love the shape of oak leaves.
"It's really changed everything," Robbie murmured, picking up a likely branch and handing it to me. I accepted it, and it joined the others in my basket. "Magick, I mean. It's completely changed your life. And you completely changed my life." He gestured to his face, his skin. I felt a brief stab of guilt All I'd meant to do was try a tiny healing spell to clear up the acne that had scarred his face since seventh grade. But the spell had continued to perfect him. He didn't even need glasses anymore. Every once in a while the whole thing spooked me all over again.
I guess it has," I agreed quietly. I leaned down to study a small, fuzzy vine climbing a tree. It had a few withering, bright red leaves on it.
"Don't touch that," said Robbie. "It's poison ivy."
I laughed, startled. "Great witch I'll make." We smiled at each other in the deepening twilight, the silence of the woods all around us. "I'm glad there's no one else besides you here," I added. "I know you won't think I'm a complete idiot"
Robbie nodded, but his smile faded. He bit his lip.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Do you miss Bree?" Robbie asked out of the blue. I stared at him, unable to answer. I didn't know what to say. But I knew what he was feeling: here we were, having fun as we'd done so many times in the past—only Bree wasn't here to share the fun with us.
"I'm in love with her, you know," he said. My jaw dropped open. Wow. I'd had some suspicions about his feelings for her, but I'd never imagined they were so strong. Nor did I ever expect him just to put them out there like that.
"Uh, I guess I sort of figured you liked her," I admitted awkwardly.
"No, it's more than that," Robbie said. He looked away and tossed an acorn off into the bushes. "I'm in love with her. Crazy about her. I always have been, for years." He smiled and shook his head, i stole a quick glance at him, and any regrets I had about healing his face vanished. I'd done a good thing. He was handsome, secure; his jaw was smooth and strong. He looked like a model.
"Years?" I asked. "I didn't know that."
He shrugged. "I didn't want you to. I didn't want anyone to know, especially Bree. She's always gone for the dumb, good-looking types. I've been watching her be with one jerk after another, knowing I never had a chance." His smile faltered. "You know she told me about when she lost her virginity?" He turned to me, his blue-gray eyes glinting in fading sunlight. He shook his head again, remembered pain on his face. "She was all happy and excited. The best thing since mocha latte, she said. And with that loser, Akers Rowley."
I frowned. "I know. Akers was an ass. I'm sorry, Robbie."
"Anyway,- Robbie went on, his smile returning, "have you looked at me lately?"
"You're gorgeous," I said instantly. "You're one of the best-looking guys in school."
Robbie laughed, sounding for a moment like his old awkward and self-conscious self. "Thanks. But, urn, do you think maybe I have a shot now?"
I bit my lip. Now, there was a loaded question. I mean, totally apart from the fact that Bree might be getting involved in dark magick, it was so odd to think of her and Robbie as a couple. They'd been friends for so long. "I don't know," I said after a minute. "I don't know how Bree sees you. Yeah, you're good-looking, but she might think of you more as a brother. You sort of know her too well to put a spell on her. Or vice versa." I grinned. "Nonmagickally speaking."
Robbie nodded, kicking his boots through the leaves. His forehead was creased.
We walked deeper into the woods. We had only about twenty minutes before it would be dark; soon we'd have to turn around.
I threaded my arm through his. "There's something else," I said. I felt I needed to warn him, to put him on his guard. "Today I heard Bree and Raven talking about their new coven."
I told him the
gist of what I had overheard in the bathroom, leaving out the part about my hair. That was something I had to deal with myself, with Cal's help. Besides, I wasn't even sure what the strand of hair meant. I didn't want Robbie to feel any more torn between me and Bree than he already did. But at the same time I didn't want her to use him.
"Yeah, I know they want to recruit new members," he acknowledged. "Don't worry, I'm not interested. But I am going to go and see what's going on."
Here with Robbie, in the woods, my thoughts about Bree and Raven and their coven began to seem a little paranoid. So what if they wanted to have their own coven? That wasn't necessarily bad or evil. It was just different, another spoke on the wheel. And the hair . . . well, who knew what that was about? Sky had told them no one would get hurt, and they seemed to trust her. But most of all, I just couldn't see Bree as evil. She'd been my best friend for so long. I'd know if there was something really warped about her. Wouldn't I?
I shook my head. It was too hard to think about. Then I remembered something else that I'd overheard. "Do you know someone named Thalia?" I asked Robbie. "She's in Bree and Raven's coven."
He thought and shook his head. "Maybe she's a friend of Raven's."
"Well, my informants tell me she may make a move on you," I said. I'd meant it as a joke, but the words came out sounding dark for some reason.
Robbie brightened. "Excellent," he said.
I laughed and poked him in the side as we walked along the park path.
"Just watch out, okay?" I said after a while. "I mean, with Bree. She tends to like guys she can control, you know? Guys she can intimidate, who'll do whatever she wants. They don't last long."
Robbie was silent. I didn't have to tell him all this; he knew it already.
"If Bree could care about you in the way you deserve," I went on, "it would be great But I don't want you to get hurt."
"I know," he said.
I squeezed his arm a little tighter. "Good luck," I whispered.
He smiled. "Thanks."
For just a minute I wondered about love spells, love potions, and whether they ever worked. But Robbie broke into my thoughts, as if reading my mind.
"Don't you dare interfere with this magickwise," he warned me.
I feigned a hurt expression. "Of course not! I think I've done enough already...." Robbie laughed.
Suddenly I stopped short and pulled on his arm. He glanced at me quizzically. I raised a finger to my lips. My eyes scanned the woods. I saw nothing. But my senses . . . there was someone here. Two someones. I could feel them. But where were they?
After another moment I heard muffled voices.
Without thinking, we both dropped down behind a large boulder by the side of the path.
"You're wrong—I don't want to," someone was saying.
My eyes met Robbie's and widened. It was Matt's voice.
"Don't be silly, Matt. Of course you want to. I've seen how you look at me."
Of course. It was Raven—and she was trying to seduce Matt. It made perfect sense. I remembered how she'd said his name in the bathroom, how she'd laughed.
Without speaking, Robbie and I peeked over the top of the boulder. About twenty feet from us Matt and Raven were standing face-to-face. The sun was dropping rapidly now, the air turning colder. Raven moved closer to him, a smile playing on her lips. He frowned and stepped back but bumped into a tree. She moved in and pressed herself against him from chest to knee.
"Stop," he said weakly.
Raven wrapped her hands around his neck and stood on tiptoes to kiss him.
"Stop," he repeated, but the word had about as much force as Dagda's meowing. He resisted for a grand total of five seconds, then his arms went around her, his head slanted, and he pulled her to him tightly. Next to me Robbie dropped his head into his hands. I gaped at them for a little while longer—but when Matt unzipped Raven's coat and unbuttoned his own, I couldn't stand it anymore. Robbie and I leaned with our backs against the boulder. I heard a small moan and cringed. This was too embarrassing.
Robbie leaned closer and breathed into my ear. "Do you think they're gonna do it?"
I grimaced. "I don't know. I mean, it's freezing out here." Robbie let out a muffled snort. Then I started giggling. For several seconds we crouched low and chewed on our coat sleeves, choking with laughter. Finally Robbie had to look. He eased his head around the boulder into the woods. "I can't see much," he complained in a whisper. "It's too dark in the trees."
I didn't want to look myself, though I knew I could have seen everything clearly. My night vision had improved dramatically; I could see easily in the darkness now, as if everything was illuminated slightly from within. I'd even found a reference to that power in a witchcraft book: it was called magesight.
"I don't think they're doing it," Robbie whispered, squinting.
"It looks more like heavy making out. They're still standing."
"Thank the God and Goddess," I muttered.
I heard Matt's voice: "We have to stop. Jenna ..."
"Forget Jenna," Raven murmured beguilingly. "I want you. You want me. You want to be with me, in our coven."
"No, I—"
"Matt, please. Quit fighting it. Just give in and you can have me. Don't you want me?"
He gave a strangled moan. Now it was my turn to cover my face with my hands. I wished I could stop Matt somehow. Of course, I was also thinking he was a total jerk.
"You do want me," Raven coaxed. "And I can give you what you want What Jenna can't do for you. We can be together, and we can make magick, strong magick, in my coven. You don't want to be with Cal anymore. He's a control freak."
I stiffened and frowned. What the hell did she know about Cal?
"In our circle you can do what you want," Raven continued. "No one will hold you back. And you can be with me. Come on..,."
Raven's voice had never sounded so sweet and pleading. A shiver went down my spine that had nothing to do with the cold.
"I can't" Matt answered. His voice was tortured. We could hear their footsteps in the fallen leaves. Luckily they were moving away from us.
"My ass is frozen," Robbie whispered. "Let's get out of here."
I nodded and stood. As quietly and swiftly as we could, we hurried back down the path to Das Boot. Without a word I dumped my basket of decorations in the trunk, and we hopped into the car.
"That was weird," Robbie finally muttered, blowing on his hands.
I nodded and jammed my key into the ignition. "Now we know why he's being strange," I said as I cranked the heater. I grinned. "Raven's totally hot for him."
Robbie didn't smile, and my own smile faded quickly. This wasn't funny. Not in the least. People could get hurt. I pulled Das Boot out of the parking lot and onto the road.
"Do we do anything about it?" I asked. "I feel sorry for Jenna. I even sort of feel sorry for Matt. He's just . . . lost."
"Do you think Raven's working a spell on him?" Robbie asked.
I shook my head. "I don't know. I mean, she isn't a blood witch. It would be different if she had been doing Wicca for years and was more in touch with her natural power. I don't really see it Unless Sky did something to her that made her able to do something to Matt..."
"I guess it's enough to use the spell of sex," said Robbie dryly.
I thought back to how Cal had made me feel, to the few times we had been close and making out—how swept away I had been, how almost everything faded away except him.
"Yeah," I muttered. "So what do we do?"
Robbie thought "I don't know. I can't see confronting either of them about it In a way, it isn't our business. What if you told Cal? I mean, it's his coven they're trying to sp|jt up. Tell him the stuff you overheard at school."
I sighed, then nodded. "Good idea." I bit my |jp "Robbie—thanks for telling me about how you feel about Bree. I'm glad you trusted me. And I won't tell anyone else. But just... be careful, okay?"
Robbie nodded. "I will."
11. The C
ouncil
Samhain, 1995
My cousins are having a costume party on Samhain, after we do the service. I'm going as the Dagda, the Lord of the Heavens, and high king of the Tuatha De Danaan. I'm going to carry my panpipes for music, my wand for magick, and a book for knowledge. It'll be fun. I've been helping Linden and Alwyn with their costumes, and we've laughed a lot.
I saw my cousin Ather kissing Dare MacGregor behind a tree in the garden. I teased her and she put a binding spell on me and I can't even tattle. I've been looking for the antispell for two days.
Next year I'll be making my initiation, and then I'll be a witch. The waiting will be over. I've been studying long enough. Seems like all I've done is study, since I came here. Aunt Shelagh is not so bad, but Uncle Beck is a slave driver. And it's even harder because Linden and Alwyn are always hanging onto me, running after me, asking questions that I have a hard time answering, My mind is always spinning, spinning-like a wheel.
But what I think of most, still, is Mum and Dad. Where are they, and why did they leave us? I have lost so much-my family, my trust. The anger never dies. In a year, I'll learn the truth. Another reason I can't wait for my initiation.
-Giomanach
"I tried to call you last night," I told Cal, pressing my face against his warm coat. The chill air swept across the parking lot, rustling my hair. I shivered. His hand stroked my back.
The morning bell was about to ring, but I didn't feel like sharing Cal with the others right now. I didn't want to see Matt and Jenna, either. My nerves felt jangled—both from the bizarre events of yesterday and from the awful dreams I'd had last night Dreams of a dark cloud, like a swarm of black insects, that was chasing me, suffocating me. I'd woken up sweating and shaking, and I hadn't fallen back asleep until dawn. And then Mary K. had woken me up barely an hour later.
"I know," Cal whispered, kissing my temple. "I got your message. But I got back too late to call you. Was it important? I figured if you really needed me, you'd send a witch message."
