by Dilly Court
Breathless and blushing, she flicked her hair back from her hot cheeks. ‘It’s all right. I don’t mind.’
He took her by the hand and threaded his way through the couples on the dance floor. ‘Let’s go for a walk, Ginnie. There’s something important that I’ve got to tell you.’
Chapter Four
Outside the air was cool and the fragrant smell of newly mown grass was all the sweeter after the fug in the hall. Long shadows were beginning to march across the countryside as the sun sank slowly in the west, and a fresh breeze rustled the leaves in the tree-lined lane. They were alone for the first time and Ginnie was still light-headed from the delight of their first kiss, and revelling in the thrill of simply being with him. ‘What is it you have to tell me, Nick?’ she asked dreamily.
He came to a halt outside the church and leaned against the stone wall. ‘You don’t know anything about me, Ginnie.’
His serious expression made her catch her breath. She had hoped he was about to tell her that he loved her, but now she was nervous. ‘What’s the matter? Have I done something to upset you?’
‘Of course not, kid.’ He took her hand in his. ‘But there are things about me that you don’t know and I really care about you, Ginnie. I have to be straight with you.’
‘In what way?’ She was growing more anxious with each passing second. She had never seen him look this serious and it scared her. ‘What’s this all about, Nick?’
‘My family live in Los Angeles.’
‘You already told me that.’
‘I know I did, but I’m just trying to give you a picture of where I’m from.’
‘Go on. I’m listening.’
‘Well, I guess it’s quite ordinary and nothing special. My pa owns a store and my mother and older brother work there. It’s a family business.’
‘A bit like my dad’s furniture shop.’
‘Yes, a bit. Anyway, it was a struggle for them to put me through medical school, but they managed it, although they were pretty cut up when I enlisted in the army. They wanted me to have a practice close to home and to marry and raise a family.’
‘That’s only natural, I suppose.’ She looked into his eyes and her heart sank. ‘But there’s something else, isn’t there?’
‘I should have told you this at the start, but I didn’t.’ His clasp tightened on her hand as if he were afraid she might run away. ‘I’ve known Betsy since we were children. You might say we were childhood sweethearts.’
She snatched her hand away. All her instincts warned her that this was not going to be good. ‘Go on.’
He ran his hand through his hair, leaving it ruffled and unkempt. ‘Everyone assumed that we’d get married one day.’
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, spit it out,’ Ginnie cried angrily. ‘What are you trying to tell me? Are you married with half a dozen kids?’
‘I’m not married.’ He straightened up, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. ‘I love you, Ginnie. It may sound corny but I guess I fell for you the moment I saw you.’
She swallowed hard. ‘You do?’
‘I love the way you look and speak. I love that tiny kiss curl on your forehead that goes every which way, even though you try to pin it down. I love the dimple at the corner of your mouth which makes me want to kiss you every time you smile. I love the way you care for the people who are closest to you, and I love you for who you are. But . . .’
Her heart was beating so fast that she could barely frame the words. ‘But? There’s always a but.’
‘I have to be straight with you, Ginnie. I’m engaged to Betsy.’ He held up his hands. ‘It was a stupid romantic gesture on the night before I left for Britain. I guess I got carried away by the moment and I asked her to marry me. Guys who’d been at school who were more senior to us had lost their lives, and I didn’t know if I’d ever see my family again. I want you to understand . . .’
She backed away from him. ‘Of course I understand. You’ve been stringing me along. You say you love me but you don’t or you wouldn’t have played such a cruel game with me.’ Her voice broke on a sob and she pushed him away. ‘Leave me alone.’
‘Honey, believe me, I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, but it happened just as I said.’
‘I suppose you said much the same thing to her.’
His eyes darkened. ‘It wasn’t like that. I’ve known Betsy all my life. She’s a great girl but I realise now that she’s not for me. I didn’t know what love was until I met you.’
‘Don’t touch me,’ Ginnie cried as he made a move to put his arm around her shoulders. ‘Don’t ever speak to me again. You – you bounder.’ She could think of nothing worse to call him and that in itself was frustrating. She had never heard her father swear, unless he said ‘damn’ when he dropped a heavy piece of furniture on his foot, but then he would apologise profusely. Fred Chinashop came out with the odd expletive when he was really upset, but in her present agitated state none of them came to mind.
‘You can call me anything you like, but just hear me out.’
‘You’ve said enough.’ She dragged every last scrap of self-respect from the depths of her being and held her head high. ‘You’re engaged to the Betsy person and that’s it as far as I’m concerned. I don’t want to see you ever again. You’d better find somewhere else to drink because I won’t serve you.’ She walked away, forcing herself to move slowly when every instinct was to run the mile or two to her aunt’s pub, but she could hear his footsteps behind her and she stopped, turning her head to glare at him. ‘If you follow me I’ll scream for help. I meant what I said, Nick. I’m not a silly schoolgirl you can wrap round your little finger with a few well-chosen words. You had me fooled for a while, but this is it.’
‘Ginnie, give me a chance to put things right.’
‘Are you saying that you’ll break it off with her?’
He hesitated. ‘It’s not that easy. I can’t just send her a letter telling her that I’ve fallen for someone else.’
‘But that’s what happened, isn’t it?’
‘Of course it is, but I need to tell her to her face. She’s a nice girl, Ginnie. I guess you two would get on well together.’
‘Then you’re completely stupid. She’d hate me as I hate her and I don’t even know her. Go away, Nick. I never want to see you again.’ It took all her strength of purpose to leave him, but somehow she managed to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. She wanted to look back. She wanted to forgive him and tell him that it didn’t matter, but it did. She thought of Betsy, waiting for news of the man she loved who had promised to marry her, and she hardened her resolve. Nick should have been honest from the outset. If he’d told her from the start that he was engaged she would never have allowed herself to fall for him.
There was a bend in the lane ahead and she took the opportunity to slow down and turn her head just enough to look back. The sight of him standing in the middle of the road, staring after her with a bleak expression on his face, was enough to send daggers of pain shooting through her heart, but she did not relent and her steps did not falter. She sensed that one wave of her hand would bring him running in her direction, but she was hurt and she was angry. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing how much he meant to her. It had to be a clean break or she would never forgive herself, and she would never forgive him either.
‘It’s one of those harsh lessons in life that we women have to learn, darling.’ Avril stubbed her cigarette out in the ashtray. ‘He’s an attractive young devil, but there are plenty more where he came from, and hopefully they won’t have a fiancée pining for them at home.’
‘How can you be so calm, Auntie?’ Shirley demanded angrily. ‘That wretch was stringing Ginnie along. It’s lucky it didn’t go any further.’ She glanced down at her swollen belly. ‘It can so easily, as I know to my cost.’
‘I’ve learned my lesson,’ Ginnie said sadly. ‘I was stupid to think that a chap like Nic
k would take an interest in someone like me.’
Avril reached across the breakfast table and slapped her sharply on the wrist. ‘That’s enough of that silly talk. You’re a lovely girl, Ginnie. You may be an innocent, but that’s what a lot of men like Nick Miller find attractive. You’ll learn through experience, as we all have to.’
‘I suppose so, but I feel a complete fool.’ Ginnie pushed her plate away.
‘If you’re not going to finish that slice of toast, I’ll have it,’ Shirley said, snatching it off the plate.
‘You’ll be the size of a house if you keep on eating for two,’ Avril said, frowning. ‘Anyway, we’re going to show Lieutenant Miller that you’re a stronger and better person than he is, Ginnie. So go upstairs, make yourself presentable and I’ll harness up Duke and drive you to Lightwood House. You’re going to take that job in the hospital and prove to him that you don’t give a damn, as Rhett Butler said in the movie.’
‘But Auntie, that’s a rotten idea. I don’t want to see him every day, let alone work with him.’
‘Darling, you can’t avoid him. I can bar him from the pub, but how would that look? His friends still come here, and Shirley seems to be getting on very well with Tony Petrillo, who’s a decent enough fellow. Who knows where that might lead?’
‘It’s just a bit of fun,’ Shirley said, blushing. ‘He doesn’t seem to mind being seen out with someone who’s rapidly turning into a barrage balloon, and I’m not eating for two. I just hate to see waste.’
Ginnie rose from her seat. ‘Tony’s got good taste in women. As for me, I really don’t think I want to work at the hospital, Auntie. Nick might think I’m chasing after him, and I don’t think I could handle it.’
‘Nonsense. To be honest, sweetie, you could do with the money and there aren’t many job opportunities in this rural area. I know I said you didn’t have to worry about your finances, and I am reasonably well off, although business is not what it was pre-war. But perhaps you ought to start earning money and saving some for the future. Shirley will need to buy things for the baby and I’ll help with the expense, but you’ve got to start planning for when you return home.’
‘Yes, I’m sorry. We’ve sponged off you long enough, Auntie. You’ve been so good to us.’
Avril rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, please, girls. Both of you stop calling me auntie, it makes me feel a hundred and twenty at least. Just call me Avril. Now do as I say, Ginnie. Go and change into something that looks efficient and practical and we’ll leave right away. Shirley can hold the fort until we get back, can’t you, darling?’
‘Yes, Avril,’ Shirley said, winking at her sister. ‘Go on, Ginnie. What are you waiting for?’
It all happened so quickly. Next morning Ginnie was up at seven, washed and dressed, and after a quick breakfast she set off to walk the two miles to Lightwood House. Her interview the previous day had been with the woman in charge of civilian staff at the hospital, and she seemed to know all about Ginnie, although Nick’s name did not crop up in conversation. She asked a few questions, but she was mainly concerned with the fact that Ginnie was young and healthy and physically able to do the work required of her. This, she said, would be the more menial tasks in the wards, which were supervised by the senior nurses, and a high standard of cleanliness was required. Avril had given her a glowing reference and before she knew it, Ginnie found herself engaged in full-time employment.
The hours were long, eight in the morning until eight in the evening, with one full day off a week, but the pay by British standards was excellent and much more than she had ever earned working for her father. Meals would be provided and she knew from conversations between Danny and Tony that the Americans ate well. Despite her reservations, she was looking forward to doing something that was completely different and also rewarding. For the first time since the war began she felt she would be doing her bit.
She discovered that much was expected of her and by the end of the first morning her back was aching miserably and her hands were sore from being immersed in hot water and the use of strong carbolic soap. Her supervisor was none other than Nurse Helga Halvorsen, and if that was not humiliating enough, Helga seemed to have taken a dislike to her. She criticised Ginnie’s work and spotted minute patches of floor that she said had been missed and made Ginnie scrub the whole area for a second time. She set her to clean the ablutions and when that was done she sent Ginnie to the sluice to empty and sterilise the bedpans and urinal bottles.
She was met in the doorway by one of the more senior ward maids, a pleasant-faced girl from over the border in Wales whom she had met briefly during their morning tea break. ‘What’ve you done to upset the old cow?’ Meriel Jones demanded, pushing her unflattering white cap to the back of her head. ‘You’ve had all the rotten jobs in one morning.’
‘I don’t know,’ Ginnie said, shaking her head. ‘But if it goes on like this I’ll tell her where to go.’
Meriel patted her on the shoulder. ‘Good for you, love. But this isn’t a bad place to work. The pay is twice as much as we could earn anywhere else and they feed us well. Grin and bear it, that’s what I say.’
‘I suppose you’re right. Thanks, Meriel.’
‘Don’t mention it. Keep your head down and don’t argue with the military and you’ll be fine.’ Meriel picked up a bucket of hot water and marched off along the corridor.
Grin and bear it, Ginnie thought with a grim smile. It might be a cliché but it was good advice. She would not allow someone like Helga to spoil her chances of earning a good wage. She had only to think of the things that Shirley’s baby would need in order to harden her resolve. She stepped inside the sluice, wrinkling her nose at the mixed odours of urine, faeces and disinfectant, and she began to empty, rinse and sterilise until the unpleasant task was carried out to her satisfaction.
She managed to survive the first day without having told Nurse Helga what she could do with her carbolic soap and scrubbing brushes, and was on her way home when she heard the unmistakeable sound of a jeep’s engine slowing down behind her. She did not have to look round to know that Nick was at the wheel. She kept on walking, but he slowed the vehicle to match her pace.
‘Ginnie, let me give you a lift home, please.’
She stared straight ahead and kept going.
‘I know you hate me, but we need to talk.’
She came to a sudden halt. ‘No, we don’t. You should have been honest with me from the start, Nick Miller. It’s too late now.’
He leaned over to open the door. ‘What you say is true. I’m not making excuses for myself, but I didn’t want to go overseas without saying goodbye.’
‘You’re going overseas?’ His words hit her with the force of a thunderbolt.
‘Get in, please, and I’ll explain.’
She climbed in beside him and slammed the door. ‘This is a bit sudden, isn’t it?’
He drove off, concentrating on the road ahead. ‘My orders only came through today. They need medics in northern France and that’s where I’ll be heading tomorrow.’
‘But why? You’re safe here and you’re doing a good job.’
‘I guess Helga told you that?’ He glanced at her with a hint of a grin.
‘No. As a matter of fact your ex-girlfriend has been a perfect bitch to me all day. She’s given me all the worst jobs and made my life hell. I suppose I have you to thank for that.’
A look of genuine concern wiped the smile off his even features. ‘No, honey. That had nothing to do with me. I haven’t done more than pass the time of day with Helga for months. We had a couple of dates last Christmas but that’s as far as it went.’
‘Then why has she got it in for you and for me too?’
‘Who knows what’s going on in her mind? I certainly don’t. I was honest with her from the start, as I should have been with you. I made it clear that we were just friends, but I guess she didn’t see it that way.’
‘Then why is she making my life a misery? I haven’t done
anything to her.’
He drew the jeep to a halt in the shade of a tall horse chestnut tree. ‘I can’t speak for Helga, and anyway this isn’t about her. I know I’ve ruined my chances with you, Ginnie. You’re a great girl and you deserve better than me.’
She eyed him suspiciously. ‘Being humble doesn’t suit you, Nick.’
‘And being cynical doesn’t suit you, Ginnie. I never lied to you, honey. I just didn’t tell you everything about myself and I regret that bitterly.’
‘I’d say that having a fiancée waiting for you at home was something you couldn’t easily forget. You didn’t tell me because it suited you to keep it secret.’
He bowed his head. ‘I know I was wrong, but nothing alters the fact that I’m crazy about you.’ He looked up and his eyes clouded with sadness. ‘I realise that you don’t want to have anything to do with me now, but I didn’t want to go away and leave you thinking that I’d been stringing you along.’
The sincerity in his voice was enough to convince her that he meant every word, and she wanted desperately to believe him, but a small voice in her head reminded her that he was not a free agent: he was engaged to a girl in his home town thousands of miles away. She hesitated, torn between her principles and the overwhelming desire to fling herself into his arms. ‘There’s still Betsy,’ she said in a small voice. ‘You must have loved her once.’
‘And if the war hadn’t brought me to Europe I would probably have married her, but then I met you.’
‘And Helga.’ She could not resist the dig, and it brought a glimmer of humour to his eyes.
‘All right, I guess I deserved that one, but now I’m deadly serious, Ginnie.’ He reached out to take her hand in his. ‘I love you. I’m not asking anything of you, I just want you to believe that I meant every word I said the other night. I’d have spoken out sooner but I didn’t want to scare you off.’
