by Kimbra Swain
I supposed that was my fault. Things had gotten a little sideways when my lawyer Demetrius Lysander killed two children and tried to pin it on me. However, if I’d gone back to just hiding out instead of taking this job, things might have settled down. My father might be still alive.
For the first time since his death, I missed him. I closed my eyes forcing back tears. I recalled how he showed up at my trial, accepting Levi into the family. It really was his approval of Levi that made him a part of my life. Of course, since Jeremiah worked for him, it was essentially Father who sent him to me in the first place. At that moment, I knew I could never give Levi up. No matter what Riley wanted. The only complication came if Dylan wanted me to send him away.
I reminded myself that Dylan and I were past those types of petty disagreements. We still had our moments, but it wasn’t anything like our past fights. I dismissed the thought because Dylan would never ask me to give up Levi.
If Levi ever wanted to leave, I supposed I could grant him the wish, but I doubted it would ever come to that. I pulled into the driveway at the trailer eager to get home to the empty place. I wanted my warm bathtub and a glass of wine.
As I entered the trailer, moans and squeaks came from the direction of Winnie’s room. I slowly opened the door, peeking in. Tiny Bramble with his tiny prick aggressively thrusted himself at another small pixie with a pink hue. He grunted like a pig with each penetration. She squeaked in rhythm as he pounded away at her from behind. The whole scene seemed comical except for the fact that they were doing this pounding inside Winnie’s dollhouse. At least they were in the bedroom. As the tiny fairy reached his climax, he howled like a wolf.
“What the fuck?” I said, scaring them both. She jumped up, flitting her wings and hid behind Bramble who lazily tucked his weapon away.
“That was a good one,” he said.
I died. Fucking fairies.
“Sorry, my Queen, I was under the assumption that Briar and I were alone in the house. Come on out and meet the queen,” he urged her. She shook her head violently behind him.
“It’s okay, Bramble, but you have to be more careful. What if Winnie came in and found the two of you? It’s one thing that I’ve had to explain fairies to her before we were all ready, but I assure you it’s too soon to be explaining about the birds and the bees,” I said.
“As you wish my queen. We will lock the door next time,” he said simply.
“I heard you outside the door,” I said.
“Oh, that’s easy. I’ll just tell Winnie we were playing hide the weenie. Then I’ll teach her to play,” he said.
“The hell you will!” I exclaimed.
He waved his hands in the air. “No! Not like that! I have the ability to convince your mutt to play hide and seek. It’s tons of fun.”
I looked down at my feet at Rufus who stared at the two fairies. “You can convince Rufus to play hide and seek? Are you a dog whisperer?”
“Essentially,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Oh, okay,” I replied. Rufus had stopped barking at him over the last couple of days. “I’m going to relax. If you could please keep the squeaking to a minimum.”
“No problem. I have a ball gag,” Bramble said.
I died again.
Later that night I explained all of it to Dylan in bed. We both laughed and giggled at the horny little fairies.
“I suppose all fairies like to swap gravy,” he said.
“I certainly do,” I replied. “You wanna?”
“You don’t even have to ask, but can you squeak like that? I think I can make you squeak,” he said.
“I’d like to see you try,” I laughed as he launched himself at me like a dog in heat.
He failed on the squeaking, but he knew how to make me moan. So much that I had to bury my face in my pillow to keep from disturbing the rest of the house.
“I don’t like Tabitha like that,” Levi said.
“Hey! I was just passing the offer. She’s a pretty girl,” I said.
Levi shrugged his shoulders. “I’m done with women for now,” he replied.
I scoffed. “Um, okay,” I replied.
He rolled his eyes at me as he ate biscuits and flipped channels on the television. I’d told him about Bramble and Briar. He got a kick out of it as well. After he finished the biscuits, he put his plate in the sink. I had sat down at the kitchen table with my coffee idly watching the talk show on television. Winnie was at school, Dylan was at work, Rufus slept at my feet which left Levi and me with nothing to do.
“You want to go sit on the bench?” he asked.
“Nah,” I replied. I wasn’t feeling very generous for some reason today. I had too much weighing on my mind. “What if we read that book?”
“My book?” he asked.
“Yeah, the songbook,” I replied.
“I’ve read all the English parts,” he said.
“I can read the rest of them,” I said. “Maybe we can find out what’s in there that’s so important. Perhaps I can teach you a little fairy language.”
Fairy tongue wasn’t spoken anymore. A dead language a lot like Latin. It was restricted to the written word. Only royal fairies were taught it, and it was reserved for the secrets of the realm. If Levi’s book had fairy tongue, then it was extremely important.
Levi sat down on the couch with the book after retrieving it in his room. I went over and joined him. I pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and covered my legs with it.
“You cold?” he asked.
“A little,” I replied. He wanted to help, but he refused to touch me. Even a brush of the hand or leg would be too risky for him it seemed. Dylan had gotten in his head.
“I’m sorry about taking the power,” he muttered. We were on the same wavelength as always.
“Enough. I’m tired of hearing about it. Levi, we have always shared power. I’m not sure why it makes any difference now,” I said.
“It makes a difference because he loves you. Your pleasure should be his alone. I understand that even though it’s never been my intention to cause that emotion between us when we share it,” he said.
“It’s just a natural reaction to the power. I don’t think of it as anything else,” I assured him.
“Yeah, but he shouldn’t have to see you like that. Yesterday was the most intense it has ever been. To be honest, I thought I’d…” he stopped mid-thought. He didn’t have to finish it. We both knew how close both of us were.
“Let’s make sure we charge you up regularly and avoid that intensity again. It would be best for all of us,” I finally saw the point.
“Yeah,” he said, opening the book. He flipped through pages as I quickly surveyed the text. Spells, incantations, lost stories and songs filled the book. When he reached the first unfamiliar passage, I placed my hand on the page to keep him from turning it.
“Fairy tongue,” I said. I perused over the passage. It was a story of a lovely princess who was loved by a man, but he couldn’t have her. “This is it. Taliesin did write about Anwen, but this isn’t the story he told me. This isn’t the book I read.”
“I can taste her lips, even though I’ve never touched them,
I can feel her heat, even though I remain cold,
I want the one I cannot have, and she demands my soul.
Her skin glistens in the moonlight, even cloaked,
Her eyes light up the darkness, even closed,
I want her hands on me, and she demands I make it so.
My heart bleeds with desire, as I give into her,
My love swells with lust, as I enter her,
She pleads with me to continue, and I’ll never let her go.”
“Damn. That’s hot,” he said.
“He did have her. He loved her, but did she love him?” I wondered.
“Naughty bard,” he said.
“Takes one to know one,” I said.
He smiled, “I wish I could be naughty.”
He was right. Levi di
dn’t have a mean bone in his body. Fierce and loyal. Passionate and brooding. But never mean. I wasn’t sure he knew what naughty really was.
“I think leaving home to chase a voodoo priestess is pretty naughty,” I said.
“I loved her,” he reminded me.
“I know,” I replied. Even then, he was following his heart. Granted, it lead him down a long dangerous road with a demon and a voodoo witch, but in the end, it brought him to me. I couldn’t complain.
“Riley doesn’t want anyone to know? You think she wants the book?” he asked.
“Yes, I do. She probably doesn’t know what he wrote. It’s probably driving her mad,” I said. “You should put your own entries in it.”
“Um, no,” he said.
“Why not? You sang to her,” I said.
“You weren’t there! How did…” he stopped, thinking back to that night. “Why do you know everything?”
“I just know everything about you,” I said. “What did I do last night?”
“You and Dylan like always,” he grumbled.
“Did you hear us?” I asked.
“No,” he said. “But I knew.”
“Exactly. We are connected. Far more than I ever imagined. You know you could get your own place. Heck, you could move in with Cletus and Tater. They’d be glad to have you,” I teased.
“Oh, hell no,” he laughed. “Let’s keep reading.”
He flipped to the next fairy tongue passage.
“I can’t read this one,” I said, looking over the words of the incantation.
“Why not?” he asked.
“It’s a sex spell. I’m pretty sure if I read it, Dylan would kill us both,” I laughed.
“Then don’t read it. We will skip it until you teach me how to read all of this,” he said.
“It’s a royal language,” I said.
“Oh, now you are a snob,” he said.
“No,” I replied.
“I’m royal. Your father made me the royal bard,” he said.
He was right. I could legally teach him the language. He flipped through a few pages.
“Oh, this one is a story,” I said. “I can read it. It’s about her, too.”
“Riley?”
“Anwen,” I replied.
“Okay. Do I need popcorn?” he asked.
I laughed, “Maybe.”
“Just read,” he said.
With my journey complete, I have but one tale left to tell. The one that should never be told, but I will be so bold. It shatters my resolve as I face the hereafter, knowing the price I would ultimately pay. My curse laid heavy on my heart, as the beat dwindles to none, and I think of her face and admire the sun.
I almost told our secret, my love, to a king I once knew. He asked me about love, and if I knew it was true. His love betrayed him, leaving him for another. Anger and pain that were lined along his eyes in wrinkles of fate filled the great man’s face. For all the wars and battles he fought, all would remember how his affection was for naught.
His name even now is but a whisper of legend. Tales and songs heralding his conquests have died in a forgotten depth, but they remember the love he lost. The woman who betrayed his soul. Fear not, my sun, my beauty, my breath. I have told no one of the night we met.
Along the rocks at the creek, you sat alone in the moonlight. Your skin glistened with the cool water as you bathed. Traversing the land at your husband’s side proved to be a hardship of a different kind. As you returned to his bed that night, I envied him for fucking his wife.
When he took you to his bed, your body responded to his touch. Your soul may be mine to keep, but a plow cannot furrow the essence of life. I longed to dig deep, planting my seed, but instead, I waited until you came to me.
Several years passed while playing my role, I sang the praises of the man filling your hole. Spending my talent at his feet, all the while, I basked in your heat. For I would have given my life, for just one moment with his wife.
The moment arrived, taking me by surprise. I found you there in my room. The sight of you caused my passion to bloom. Your breast hung bare for me to see, and I knew you had them there for me.
My passion unleashed. I took you to bed with me. As I claimed your body to be mine, I knew it would only be this time. For when our time had run out, you claimed that your heart did know doubt. I assured you of my devotion, but you took your leave without emotion.
Never again did you come to me. Your eyes would turn to me. Your lips taunted me. Your body revealed itself to me, but you never ever came to me. Even this day, my last on earth, I wait for the confirmation, that our love was more than flirtation.
I’m drawing my last breath staring at the door. The sun insults me with its rays knowing that I’ll see no more days. Air fills my lungs just once more, but your absence is a silent roar. Expelling the life in me, I wished to the gods below you could see, that even in my final moment, I sought no atonement for the actions between you and me.
That one night. That one time. It was a lifetime to me. I regret nothing. I would do it again and again just to feel your light warm my skin. The darkness consumes my legacy, I leave you with just one request, you see. Please, my love, remember me.
Levi and I sat in silence after I finished the passage. The great bard with all his prose fell in love with a woman that he only had once. She gave herself to him, then betrayed his heart by pretending she felt nothing. Perhaps she felt nothing in the first place and was actually the beginning of the life she now lived. Anwen stole Taliesin’s heart and left him to die alone. Her husband was long gone when the bard died, but she wasn’t there for him when she could have been.
Levi shifted the book to my lap, stood, and went to the kitchen.
“You okay?” I asked.
“No,” he replied, pulling a beer out of the fridge. He popped the top, then tilted it up for a long pull. He sat the now half-empty beer on the counter, leaning hard on the edge. Those deep denim blue eyes connected with mine. “She’s using me.”
“I think that’s always been true, and you were okay with it. We just didn’t realize the depth of it,” I said watching him rock back and forth until he finally pushed off the counter. His anger grew by the moment.
“There’s more than just this, isn’t there?” he asked.
“We will have to keep reading, but I’m sure of it now,” I replied. He downed the last of the beer, then grabbed another along with a soda for me.
Plopping down next to me, he opened the soda can and handed it to me.
“Thank you,” I said as he pulled the book back to his lap. He continued to turn pages until we found the next fairy tongue passage.
“This one is short,” he said.
I cleared my throat and began to read out loud.
The Pendragon knows. I’m not sure how, but he does. She will never forgive me.
“Arthur?” Levi asked.
“Or Uther, but probably Arthur,” I replied. “He must have left this note for someone, but I’m not sure why.”
“You think Oberon knew?” he asked.
“Definitely,” I replied. “My father adored the bard. Even before he came to live with us, Taliesin was considered part of the family.”
“Let’s go talk to him,” Levi said. His anger melted off of him in a smoldering heat. I’d shed the blanket because just sitting beside him I was starting to sweat.
“We need to read everything,” I replied.
He nodded and turned pages until we reached another short passage.
I saw her today riding a horse. Her long hair cascading down her back. Blazing fire rippling in the sunlight. She knew I watched for she turned to see me sitting in the shade with my book and quill. She stopped the horse amid its stride, turning to face me. Standing in hopes that she would approach, I looked upon her glorious face and dared to dream that she would grace me with just a few words, however, her laugh echoed across the meadow bouncing off the trees and reverberating through my heart. It haunts
me even now. It will haunt me forever.
I sighed. “I don’t understand why he told me that she loved him, but he didn’t return her affections.”
“Perhaps he was hiding it to protect his heart,” he said.
“He could have just said that there was no one,” I replied. “There has to be more.”
Levi flipped pages until almost the end of the book. The last passage in fairy tongue revealed what we needed to know.
Truth is a burden. A load that one must bear. Hidden truth is a vice. Crushing the soul of the keeper. My soul is naught but bits. Shards of the talent I once was. All because I gave my heart to the one I loved. This book is my truth. Some of it hidden. The reader will bear the burden of the secrets it carries. There are two stories of my life. The one I tell, and the one I write. This one will be hidden in the vaults of my Lord, my King, the Great Stag. I know it will be safe there even after he has gone for today I met you. The one to take his place. Your eyes are brilliant blue just like your father’s and your vibrancy outshines your siblings. You asked me about love, and I lied as I must. But one day the truths I have written here, you will read. I unload my burden on you in a warning of forbidden love. You have read the stories from the other book. The one that all could read, but this one is reserved for the woman that you will soon be.
Gloriana, daughter of Oberon, forgive me for my lies. A curse is a burden that a lover must bear when their love is unrequited. However, an anathema brought down upon me by the one I loved forbids me to speak of that one night. Forbids me to tell of the haunting desperation of my soul. She cursed me, and I curse myself. I warn you, dear child, so that one day, you can save the one you love. Her heart is black and her ways are false. Her beauty blinded me to the fact.
