by Tom Schreck
And we all thank you too.
* * *
Buppies bring the joy
to often sad rescue: new
life, new hope, new homes.
—Ginny Tata-Phillips
Photo: By Kim Bruck, AZBHR
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Riley’s Issues
One Dog’s Westchester Pursuit of Therapy
By Tom
Riley has issues.
Don’t get me wrong he’s a great dog. He just has some issues.
He eats my shoes. He eats the books I’m reading. He’ll refuse to go in the direction I want to go in on a walk and just lay down. It is difficult to drag an 85 pound Basset/Bloodhound mix.
Riley chases squirrels and other dogs. He bays when I’m trying to watch the news and he follows me from room to room. He jumps up on me and lands on sensitive body parts. Sometimes he’s mean to our other Basset Hound, Wilbur.
Riley likes to be petted but if you do it the wrong way he’ll growl and if he’s in a bad mood he’ll snap at you.
He’s what’s known as a rescue dog. Somebody had him and wasn’t nice to him and then he went to a couple of foster homes until we found him on an Internet site.
I want Riley to be happy and adjusted and I’d like to own a pair of shoes for more than 48 hours before there are bite marks in them. Sometimes, I would like to go in the direction I want to go in on a walk. I’d like to enter a room in my home without having to have the mindset of a ninja to protect the region below my belt from assault.
I decided to get Riley some help.
Lori MacLean, Psychic, Dog Communicator, Lake Mohegan
It made sense to start at the beginning. Of course, Riley doesn’t have vocal cords so I can’t just ask him why he is the way he is. That’s where Lori MacLean, Psychic, comes in. Lori tells me that her psychic powers are a gift and she hones them through some training now and then with other psychics. I’m not totally sure what all that means but Lori says she can read what a dog is feeling and get an idea about things. She usually charges $30 for a fifteen minute psychic reading and says that most readings can be done in that time.
At Lori’s request, Riley, my wife, Sue, and I meet her at the Riverfront Green in Peekskill. It was a long drive and I’m not sure why we were meeting in a park but then again I’m not really up on today’s psychic procedures. The park is filled with geese and Riley is full of energy (probably because he hasn’t ever seen a goose before and I think he’s a bit distracted.) Still, Lori sits beside him and starts to pet Riley’s ample belly. I give Lori a short rundown on our household and how we have cats and another dog besides Riley. I was about to get deeper into when Lori raises her hand.
“Riley came to us because—” I start to say before Lori interrupts me.
“Don’t tell me anymore,” she says.
Riley sits calmly looking at the geese while Lori pets him and looks off into the distance.
“I’m getting the number 11. It’s very strong. What does the 11 mean to him?” Lori asks.
Sue and I look at each other.
“Was he born on the 11th?” Lori asks.
We shake our heads.
“In November?”
We shake our heads. We don’t know much about Riley’s formative years.
“It’s very strong. I’m also picking up a cranky old man with a newspaper. He might be whacking Riley with the newspaper.”
That just pisses me off. Let the old bastard try hitting me with a newspaper.
“Is there a big black dog in the neighborhood?” Lori asks. “He’s letting me know about a big black dog.”
“Wilbur is black and weighs about eighty pounds,” Sue says.
“Riley finds him annoying,” Lori says. She’s right; Wilbur is often a pain in the ass. He’s fat and he weighs a lot but he’s only about 10 inches tall. I’m uncertain if that makes him a big dog.
“I’m picking up that Riley doesn’t like the cats, except for the white one—the one that likes to brush up against him. Riley likes that one a lot,” Lori says.
Now, I’m getting a little creeped out. We have four cats and Riley likes CC, the white one, who brushes up against him. We mentioned we had cats—but we didn’t say anything about their color.
“I’m picking up August—he likes August. What’s August?”
We got Riley in August three years ago.
“The 15th?” Lori asks.
We got Riley on August 15. I didn’t mention anything that would’ve tipped Lori off about this either.
Sue cuts to the chase.
“Is he happy?” she says.
“He loves you guys. He sees himself as your child. He’s very happy but his past still lingers. He knows you won’t leave him but he’s nervous about it,” Lori says. Riley is sniffing some of what the geese left behind.
“How do I get him to walk where I want to walk,” I say.
“He needs to feel important. Just tell him that when you’re walking,” Lori says.
Hmmm. I hadn’t thought of that.
Norma Stanton, Reiki Master, Katonah
We left Lori in Peekskill and headed toward the Awakenings bookstore in Katonah for an appointment. On the ride Riley forced himself over the elbow rest and licked the side of my face while I tried to negotiate the turn at Route 202. I pushed him on to Sue’s lap and (a guy in the left lane leaned on his horn and made an unpleasant gesture at me for cutting him off.)
I told Riley he was important.
Katonah is a sweet little village and Awakenings is a cute store that sells new age books and stuff related to alternative medicine and spirituality. Riley is the only dog in the store and everyone loves him. Aromatherapy is big at Awakenings and there’s a lot of incense going and there’s all sorts of floral essences and stuff. Riley’s nose is getting a bit overwhelmed at the smorgasbord and he’s pulling me all over the store and I’m afraid he’s going to knock over some expensive crystals or something.
Norma explains to Sue and Me that Reiki is the practice of bringing down God’s energy and putting it to use. Norma doesn’t specialize in dogs per se but she assures me that Reiki works on dogs just as well as it does on us humans. I tell her that she should be careful how she pets Riley’s head because sometimes he snaps at people. Norma assures me that that is not a big deal and lovingly pets Riley while she cradles his head.
Riley lets out a low growl.
“Riley’s a little nervous,” Norma says.
That would make two of us. I would hate for Norma to be permanently disfigured should Riley become even more nervous. I make a mental note to consult the business office at Westchester Magazine about liability issues.
Norma gets some holistic, organic chicken treats and Riley perks up. She rewards his attentiveness with a treat and puts them aside and begins to cradle Riley’s head again.
Riley growls. Then, he gets even more nervous trying to find out what happened to the rest of his organic treats.
Norma starts to do long slow strokes down the sides of Riley and he starts to kind of dig that.
“He has low self esteem,” Norma says.
“How can you tell?” I ask.
“His energy.”
“Is that why he won’t walk where I want to walk?”
“Probably. He needs a job to feel good about himself.”
I think for a second and realize I have a job and I don’t feel that good about myself.
“He’s bored and he wants to do more,” Norma says. “What does he do?”
“Excuse me?” I say.
“How does he spend his day?”
“Oh, he goes for walks, he eats, he tries to avoid Wilbur, he goes to the bathroom and eats some more.”
“Give him a job.”
Norma starts to run her fingers over Riley without actually touching him. She tells me that she is Reiking him and that he will feel a little tingly.
Riley sits calmly and seems to be quite relaxed. Whether or not he’s tingly or not, I can’
t say.
Bobbi Pollack, Tellington Touch, Hawthorne
Bobbi practices something called the Tellington Touch, a system developed by a woman named Linda Tellington-Jones who started out working with horses. The touch itself is a circular movement, done on different spots on the animal to rebalance the system. Bobbi tells me it’s important that you do a full circle and a quarter with each touch and you only do each spot once. This touch then connects with the nerve cells that then pass it along throughout the system.
We’re in Bobbi’s basement and Riley is sniffing all around and looking a bit uneasy.
“He doesn’t feel good about himself. He has low self esteem. The T-Touch will help put him more in balance. Floral essence therapy would help, as well,” Bobbi says.
“Floral essences?” I say.
“Yes, floral essences are a subdivision of homeopathy. Taken just from the stems of the plants, they work not by volume but by frequency. You might put a few drops in his water or on him but you have to be careful not to touch him with the bottle because that will change the vibration,” Bobbi says.
I’m thinking this is an awful lot to remember. Riley is still wandering around sniffing and I ask Bobbi to demonstrate the touch thing. She calls Riley over and starts to do a series of these circle and a quarter movements starting around Riley’s head and moving down the length of the body. Riley seems to be grooving on it.
“There are three parts to the Tellington Touch. There’s the touch itself, the equipment and what we call the Playground of Higher Learning, which is a little like an agility course that your dog can master and feel good about himself,” Bobbi says.
Unfortunately, Riley and I didn’t have time for the playground action but I did want to see the equipment.
“One of the main things we do is wrap the dog in a big Ace bandage in a cross pattern. It helps balance them, comfort them and it will help with how he feels about himself,” Bobbi says.
I’m a little nervous about how Riley is going to feel getting wrapped up by a stranger. I watch Bobbi put the Ace bandage around my dog like he has a huge tooth ache and I have to admit I’m a bit skeptical. I also think that my dog looks ridiculous and I can’t imagine that that’s going to help his self esteem.
Bobbi finishes and Riley sits calmly at her feet and then decides to lie down. His breathing has slowed and frankly, he looks like he just smoked some really good pot. I can’t really tell if he’s feeling better about himself but when I leave I keep the wrap on him and he falls asleep on my front seat making the drive up the winding Taconic a breeze.
Bobbi tells me that though it’s not expressly part of the T-Touch system the techniques probably work on opening up Riley’s chakras. Well, if that’s the case then Riley’s freakin’ chakras must be gaping because he’s snoring like a sawmill all the way home.
Dr Ellen Lindell, Bedford Hills Veterinary Clinic
Dr. Lindell is board certified veterinarian with a sub-specialty in behavior, which kind of makes her the canine equivalent of a psychiatrist in that she trained first in medicine and then in behavior. Behavior is a fairly new specialty and Dr. Lindell is one of less than fifty worldwide.
Before my appointment with Dr. Lindell I have to fill out a very detailed eight page form that asks me questions about Riley’s breed, the circumstances under which we got him, his physical health, the other pets we own, any major events in our lives and a description of his behavior broken down into the circumstances in which they occur. There’s a section on dominance, aggression and biting and how they occurred or are most likely to occur.
I filled out the form and sent it in with the same level of confidence I had when I finished my SAT exam. Dr. Lindell starts our session by going over the questionnaire.
“If you take away Riley’s food, does he show any sign of aggression?” she asks.
“Definitely, he doesn’t care for that,” I say.
“And does he show that by biting you, snapping, threatening you with a bark, a deep growl or a minor growl?’
Hmmm, I never realized there were so many degrees of aggression.
“It’s usually just a light growl but I can tell he’s not happy,” I say.
“And does he let you take it away?”
“Yes, he does.”
I’m beginning to see where Dr. Lindell is going.
“Now, you put down on the questionnaire that he has snapped at people when they lean over his head and rub both his ears. Tell me about that.”
“Yeah, that pisses him off royally. It’s usually someone he doesn’t know who means well and is hovering over him and grabbing him by the ears. Then he snaps at them, usually right by their face.”
“That’s truly dangerous behavior,” Dr. Lindell says with a concerned look on her face.
“The snappee usually thinks so,” I say. “Is it because Riley doesn’t feel good about himself?” I ask.
“Probably not.”
“Is it because he was mistreated as a puppy? Maybe, like an old crotchety guy hit him with a rolled up news paper and called him mean names?” I ask.
“It is possible that had something to do with it but what’s really important is preventing it from happening,” Dr. Lindell says.
“Should I do like Oprah’s Mexican dog guy and grab him by the neck and put him down and let him know I’m the dominant one?”
“No, that will probably make him more aggressive, it will scare him and he might bite you,” she says. “The best thing to do is not let people hover over him and grab his head. When they do, remove him from the situation and don’t punish him because he won’t understand. Try to intervene early.”
“And what about him not doing what I want—like pulling me during the walks and not doing what I say—is that because he doesn’t feel good about himself?”
“No, it has more to do with his temperament. Like people, dogs are born with different temperaments and Riley’s is pretty forceful. You want to be a leader to him but a beneficent one. Don’t be obsessed with winning every situation but also know you can’t lose every one.”
Dr. Lindell then mapped out a program where I would give Riley treats for doing good things and I would ignore bad things. When we walk and he’s moving right along I should reward him and not wait until he refuses to move my way. She also tells me to look for the signs of him not liking being petted around the head early in his interactions and get him out of those situations ASAP.
Dr. Lindell tells me that she works with far more serious cases of aggressive and dominant dogs and some dogs need lots of work. She works with owners to change how they deal with their problem dogs and even occasionally intervenes with medications like Prozac or other human drugs, though she prefers not to.
She didn’t mentioning anything at all about his energy, his chakras, the number 11 or the month of August. She did give me some solid advice that I could understand and a strategy for implementing it. I plan to reward Riley’s good behavior, discourage his bad behavior and keep a close eye on how people pet him.
And when we go on long rides I’m going to wrap him in a big Ace bandage.
Post Script
Since we set out on this mission I’m happy to report that we’ve seen some significant in improvements. Riley did once kind of bark and snap at me when I tried to take his place in bed but I see that mostly as my fault for how I approached him. He pulls less on our morning walks especially when I encourage him and praise him when he’s cruising along like I like. I also keep a piece of chicken jerky with me to encourage him even more during these walks.
When he seems tense I’ve tried a little of the Tellington Touch and even some Reiki movements over him and though he seems to dig it I’m not sure I’m doing either correctly.
Wilbur still gets on all our nerves but that’s just Wilbur.
As I type this Riley is lying next to me on the floor and he is placidly snoring. I can’t say for sure but it looks to me that he feels pretty good about himself.
* * *
Thanks for the shade, friend.
The advantage of tall dogs:
makes good umbrella.
—Ginny Tata-Phillips
Photo: Agnes & Buddy by Tom Schreck
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Planter’s Punch
A Jack Daniels/Duffy Dombrowski Mystery
by Tom & JA Konrath
My face hurt like a toothache.
The boxer I’d just fought—a fat guy from Gary, Indiana who was supposedly slow and easy to hit—could punch. I hit him a lot, easily, but he countered well, and every time he did it felt like getting banged with a fabric-covered cinder block. Enough of those and it makes your head ring. Not a pleasant dull throb, but a crackling pain going through from your forehead to your jaw.
Incidentally, I won the fight—six rounds to two in an eight rounder that left me a thousand dollars richer. Now, my true reward; a trip to AJ’s for a beer. I fought at the Armory, a two minute car ride to the bar, and got the shock of my life when I came through the front door.
The place had a crowd.
That never happened. Usually, the crowd, and I use that term loosely, consisted of the Fearsome Foursome, Kelley the cop, me and maybe, on a good night, a couple of cab drivers. Tonight other people had invaded my refuge.
Luckily, the Foursome had their usual seats at the bar and saved me one. Kelley, one away from that, was also in. Maybe not so luckily, the Foursome had already started.
