by Ann Hunter
“Alex!” Hillary called from the laundry room
Alex got up from her spot beside Carol, pushing her homework aside, and followed the call to the laundry room downstairs.
Hillary waited at the bottom of the stairwell with a white basket of clothes. She lifted them toward Alex. “Your stuff.”
Alex grimaced as she took the basket, partly wanting to say thank you, but still angry for being treated like a second class citizen while Laura had been in the hospital. Alex’s fingers brushed Hillary’s for a moment, and a flash of standing in the rain at the correctional facility last year at Valentines rushed into Alex’s head.
"It has to be your choice. What do you say, Alex? Do you want to come home with me?"
Alex’s hands had shaken as she reached for Hillary’s and the keys. Hillary’s own touch was firm and gentle all at once. Alex had looked at their fingers and swallowed, then ripped the keys from Hillary’s hand and marched to the car, reminding her that this didn’t mean they could start braiding eachother’s hair and singing Kumbaya just yet.
Alex lifted her gaze to Hillary, the laundry basket in limbo between them, willing her to smile or something. Anything more than ‘Your stuff’.
The sound of rain petering in Alex’s memory made her think of the grin Hillary had flashed her in that Kumbaya moment. "Shut up and get in the damn car."
It had made Alex laugh then, but now she only felt all mixed up. She wished she could say it back to Hillary right now. Like it would help somehow.
Ever since she’d made a stand when Laura woke up, she felt like she was constantly reminding Hillary that she was part of this family too. She was even trying to bring her grades up by doing extra work under Carol’s tutoring. It killed her to sacrifice that time she could be spending with Promenade. Couldn’t they see that?
Get in the damn car, Hillary. Get in the damn car. Alex bit her lip. Take me home again.
She lugged the basket upstairs, tilting it toward Carol as she passed. “I need to put this away. Be right back.”
Alex took it up the next flight of stairs to her bedroom, but paused outside her door. The door to Laura’s room, the one beside Alex’s, was slightly ajar. Johnathan had come over for a visit, and as Alex leaned slightly, she could see them sitting by eachother on Laura’s bed.
He slid his fingers back and forth slowly through Laura’s, with their heads dipped together, talking quietly. They shared a kiss, and Alex couldn’t help but feel that anger again over how he’d never come to see Laura at the hospital.
Just like his old man, Alex didn’t trust him.
After dinner, Alex cleared the table and started washing the dishes. Hillary didn’t say a word, not even thank you. Alex gritted her teeth. She was doing the freaking dishes for Pete’s sake!
While Hillary sat at the table with a cup of coffee, browsing over her tablet, Alex ground out the left over food from a plate, muttering under her breath. She was glad the water was on full force so Hillary wouldn’t hear her. The barn manager could thank her for wheeling crap out of the barn, but Hillary couldn’t muster anything?
Alex took a deep breath, trying to push it all away. Don’t be angry, she reminded herself. Forgive her. It’s rough for everybody right now with Laura home and needing extra help.
Alex reined her attitude in and gently set the plate in the drying rack by the sink. She could try harder to win Hillary’s attention back. She’d learn to cook, or something. Fold laundry. She’d figure something out.
Alex looked over her shoulder as Cade trotted down the stairs. He stood near the door, adjusting cufflinks on a pressed, white shirt. She thought he looked pretty swank in polished black dress shoes, slacks, and his sandy hair combed back like the Gatsby guy in the movie they watched the other night.
“We’re still going, right?” he asked.
Hillary sighed, “I don’t feel much like partying.”
“Me either.” Alex finished the dishes and wiped her hands.
Cade smiled. “That’s alright. I’d like to take my girls out anyway.”
Hillary shook her head, taking a sip of her coffee. “Not without Laura.”
“Laura will be fine,” Cade reassured. “Come on.”
“She’s still weak.” Hillary insisted, “Someone needs to be with her.”
Alex brightened, seeing an opportunity to do something for them. “I’ll stay,” she offered.
“No.” Cade pulled his coat on, and motioned to the door. “We’re going to the party. She has lots of homework to catch up on and needs the peace and quiet.”
Making an effort to be more agreeable, Alex headed upstairs. Relieved that the dress she wore to the Breeders Cup still fit, she checked in on Laura.
Laura looked up from reading and smiled. “You look nice.”
Alex thought she looked dumb, but whatever. If it made the Showmans happy. “Your Dad’s insisting we go. Will you really be okay?”
Laura nodded. “Really. Go. Have a great time.”
Alex grimaced, wishing Laura had said something else so she could avoid being around people.
“Go on,” Laura urged. “Don’t you want to see Brooke in a dress? She’s quite the sight.”
“She told you about that?”
“Brooke tells me everything. That’s the beauty of BFFs. No secrets.”
***
Brooke’s eyes widened before the computer screen. She couldn’t believe her luck. Morning Glory was at Oaklawn, one of the closest tracks to North Oak. But why? Why move her from Florida to Arkansas?
She scanned the information on the screen. The filly had a few more dismal races under girth at Gulfstream with McGill, before being listed under a new trainer. Brooke felt sorry for McGill. Getting horses taken away from you because they weren’t performing well had to suck.
But one man’s dumpy luck was another man’s opportunity, Pop would say. Brooke folded her arms over her gut, fighting the urge to take off right now and claim the filly. With Pop still at Gulfstream through the end of the month, who would know if she took off for the weekend? No one was stopping her.
Her eyes darted to the car keys on the desk beside the monitor. Who would know? Who would know? echoed in her head. No one, that’s who. Her hand punched forward and snapped them up.
There was less thrill in stealing Pop’s junky old car this time. Brooke was more focused on the task at hand. It was just a matter of getting to Oaklawn, claiming or buying Mags, and getting her home again. She’d spent time researching how to get an owners’ license, and her choices were do it at Oaklawn, or ask North to sign her as an authorized agent for the farm. She didn’t want anyone to know what she was doing, so she’d do it on her own at the track. Thirty bucks, and she’d be licensed as an owner.
She thought she must be crazy, taking off in the middle of the night like this for a horse. She had school in the morning, homework to turn in, chores around the farm. They’d know for sure something was wrong as soon as she didn’t show up for morning rides. She hadn’t even told Laura.
Brooke pressed her foot against the gas pedal. Better make this trip quick.
***
Alex hung out at the back of Mr. North’s private theater, near the food. She liked being away from the crowd, at least a little bit. She could watch everyone from here and not have to pretend to be sociable.
Though as she scanned the room, she noticed Johnathan North suspiciously missing. Had he snuck off to be with Laura? Homework. Yeah, right.
But, after a while, she realized Brooke wasn’t there either. Alex’s brow furrowed. BFFs. Secrets. Did Laura know?
Alex shook her head. That would be a bad character judgment, but it was hard to let it go. She didn’t trust John, and Brooke had done her fair share of burning bridges before. Should she tell one of the Showmans? Would they want to know if Laura was being cheated on so they could break it to her gently?
North seemed a little down as he motioned to the screen, like he was disappointed North Oak hadn’t g
otten an award for being awesome. The Eclipse awards were important to him, she guessed, or else they wouldn’t all be there.
The champagne in North’s glass swished. “This is going to change. It’s all going to change.”
Alex couldn’t see Cade, so she slunk off to Hillary who was talking to one of the grooms. “I think Johnathan is cheating on Laura.”
Hillary excused herself from the conversation and turned to Alex. “What would make you say such a thing?”
“Look around. Brooke’s gone. John’s gone. Don’t you think…”
“First of all, you’re being rude by assuming things about people,” Hillary scolded. “Second, John wouldn’t do that. Brooke isn’t his type.”
“What do you mean she’s not his type? She’s a girl,” Alex growled. “She’s his type.”
“Lower your voice,” Hillary hissed.
“Wake up, Hillary,” Alex begged. “Laura’s going to get trampled, and you’re just standing there, ready to let it happen. We need to tell her.”
Hillary looked around, nerves crawling to her face. “Alexandra! You’re making a scene.”
“No, you are.” Alex clenched her fists.
“If this is some ploy to get out of the situation— “
“The situation. Huh, yeah. Your situation. Why don’t you watch A League of Their Own. You’ll have a good cry and get over yourself.”
“Alex!” Hillary called after her as Alex stormed from the room.
“I’m tired of feeling like I don’t exist, Pro,” Alex said to the sabino colt. She held the bow tightly, sort of willing her frustration into it. Promenade dropped his head and lipped her fist, curious of its contents.
She tucked it back into her coat pocket to protect it, this belonging that meant belonging to her. Her reminder to fight to be in this family. Her heart ached that a memory, a ghost, held more weight than a living, breathing person now. Couldn’t Hillary see that Alex needed love too?
Forgive her, Cade’s voice mentally reminded. Alex sighed, still holding the bow. She rested a hand on Promenade’s neck. Was there any other way to show Hillary that her family needed her in the present?
Alex felt like the moment at the hospital, where she finally got Hillary’s attention, had shifted something between them. How could she make that happen again?
Then, a pang of her old self, reminding her she didn’t need the approval of others to be happy, rippled through her. The horses made her happy. Wasn’t that enough?
She reasoned that she wasn’t looking for Hillary’s approval, she just… wanted to feel part of something. Alex thought back to when she first came here, how she wanted nothing more than to escape this place. How she feared they wouldn’t want her when they found out about her past.
She bit her lip when she realized how far she’d come from that. From not trusting anyone, to wanting to be loved. Her chest tightened. She still missed Ashley, she had been the only family she needed. But this new wanting to be part of an actual family, it hit her hard.
Alex took a sharp breath and swung her arms around Promenade’s neck. She’d keep fighting to be in this family, fighting to wake Hillary up, until it felt real.
BULLY FOR YOU
The next morning, Alex opened her locker and hundreds of square, black plastic packages flooded out, cascading all over the floor. “What the hell?”
“Do you know what these are?” Carol whispered.
Alex picked one up when they finished falling and looked at it. “Condoms?”
Her eyes shifted around the hallway and locked onto Brad, grinning by the hall doors. Her brow wrinkled. If this was his idea of trying to get back at her, it wasn’t going to work.
She set her jaw. “You know what I see? Lemons. Lots and lots of lemons. And when life gives you lemons, y’know what y’gotta do?” They crouched, scooping the condoms into Alex’s backpack.
“Make… lemonade?” Carol said hesitantly.
Alex nodded. “And what do you do with the lemonade?”
Carol looked at her. “You’re not going to— ”
“Carol, you’ve taught me a ton. Now it’s my turn to teach you. Add this one to your dictionary: Opportunity.” Alex rose with an armful of condoms, turned around and yelled, “Condoms! Get your condoms here! Only a quarter.”
She glanced at Brad, whose face fell, and grinned. Carol melted against her locker, turning beet red. She clutched her bag to her face, hiding from passerby.
Alex continued marching down the hall, peddling her wares. She stopped in front of Brad and shoved one of the packages against his chest. “This one’s on the house.”
Alex made it through two classes, sneakily selling the packages. It wasn’t until she unloaded a bunch all at once to some pimply, geeky looking guys that her opportunity came to a halt.
“Exactly what do you think you’re doing?”
Alex turned and faced the Vice Principal. “I know what this looks like. They’re not condoms. They’re lemonade. Would you like some?”
The Vice Principal folded his arms. “Office. Now.”
“But I’ll miss health class.”
“Miss Anderson…”
“Really, Coach is going to need these. You’re depriving your staff of valuable materials. All those cucumbers going to waste.”
The VP pointed to the front office. “Go, or I’ll escort you myself.”
Alex sat outside the Principal’s office, clutching the tiny bow in her pocket. Were they going to call Hillary? She didn’t need another reason to fight with her.
She could imagine what Hillary might say. How she had to leave work to get her, with the busiest time of the farm year - foaling - starting. Alex grimaced. They could call home, but just not Hills.
The door swung open, and the lady at the front desk told Alex she would be seen now. Alex lugged her backpack in and plunked down in the seat across from the Principal. It wasn’t unlike sitting across from North, except this boss was a broad.
“This is a total waste of our time,” Alex grumbled. “I’d rather be in class.” Hillary’s drawn face flashed through her mind. “Need to be in class.”
“Then explain what you’re doing with your…” the Principal cleared her throat. “Merchandise.”
“Brad Hopkins stuffed them in my locker. He’s trying to get back at me for being suspended or whatever. I was going to donate the money to the school. Your security system still sucks.”
The Principal’s eyebrow lifted. “I beg your pardon?”
“I’m serious. Brad’s a bully, and nobody is ever around to stop him.”
“Hand them over.” The Principal extended her hand, waving her fingers as if to expect a small sum.
Alex rolled her eyes with an emphatic “Ughhhh.”
“Now, please.”
Alex unzipped her backpack and dumped everything out, condoms and textbooks spilling onto the desk. She shoved her textbooks back in. She swallowed against the pit in her stomach. “Are you gonna call my folks?”
The Principal pursed her lips. “I’ll let you off just this once. Don’t think I’ll be so easy on you next time.”
Alex wanted to huff Fine, but kept her mouth shut. She left the office silently and headed to the cafeteria for some crappy lunch.
“Why weren’t you in health class?” Carol asked as she slid in across from Alex with her lunch tray.
Alex sighed. “I got sent to the office. They took all my lemonade.”
“I’m sort of relieved.” Carol took a bite of salad. “You have no idea what they were doing with them in orchestra.”
Alex grinned devilishly, leaned her chin against her knuckles, and wiggled her eyebrows. “Telllll me.”
Carol groaned, dropping her head into her own hands. “Alex…”
“How did the tubas sound? What did Brooke say?”
Carol lifted her head. “Brooke wasn’t there.”
“What do you mean she wasn’t there?”
“She wasn’t there. Is something
wrong?”
Alex noticed Johnathan North entering the far doors of the cafeteria with a few of his friends. She pressed her palms against the table and rose. “I’ll be back.”
She followed him through the halls and caught him when his friends went their own ways.
“Where were you during that Eclipse party?”
John turned. “Excuse me?”
“You were gone. Brooke was gone. Do you know how that looks?”
“Uh… no?”
“I think you’re cheating on Laura, and I’m going to tell her.”
“I would never date Brooke.” John laughed. “That would be like kissing my sister.”
Alex’s brow furrowed. “Didn’t you grow up with both of them? How is that different than dating Laura?”
“Cuz Laura’s hot.”
“And Brooke isn’t?”
How did boys judge looks anyway?
John shrugged. “She’s okay, I guess.”
Alex wanted to smack him, choke him, drive her fingers through his eyeballs, something. She didn’t think she could like John less, but she’d been wrong about stuff before. Thank you, North Junior, for proving me wrong about one more thing in my life.
“So where were you?” she pressed.
“That’s none of your business.”
“Look, Money Bags, I’m trying to get in good with them. So either I tell Laura you’re cheating on her, or you tell me where you were.”
“Oh for the love of… I was with Laura.”
“Wait. You were with Laura? Like helping her do homework?”
“I was the homework,” he said quietly, a shade of pink rising to his ears. A stupid little grin jostled his mouth in the same way the corner of his father’s eyes sometimes twitched.
Alex couldn’t tell if he looked pleased or embarrassed. The gears in her head slowly got turning, producing a picture of Black Knight and Venus Galaxies in the breeding shed last year, but with Laura and John’s grinning faces attached to their heads. Horrified, Alex shuddered. “Why would you tell me that? Ew!”
So where was Brooke?
