by Robin Mahle
“Okay. I’ll take you down to Paddy’s. It’s as good a place as any to forget your troubles.”
* * *
Paddy’s was a hole-in-the-wall Irish pub that many on the police force frequented. It was near the station; quick and easy to get to. “I’ll have a bourbon and whatever the lady wants.” Marshall gestured to Katie.
“Make that two, please,” she replied.
The bartender grabbed the bottle and placed two shot glasses in front of them.
“I didn’t realize you were a bourbon-drinking kind of girl, Kate,” He said.
“I am tonight.” She downed her shot without hesitation.
Marshall appeared more than a little surprised by this. “Okay, well, maybe you should reel it in a little and tell me what happened with the police chief. What exactly did he say? Why the no-go on the investigation?”
“The DA said they didn’t have enough new evidence to open it back up.”
“So, they didn’t think they could link the cases based on that necklace you saw in your dream? Marshall threw back his shot and motioned to the bartender for two more.
“It wasn’t a dream. It happened. I remembered it.” Katie closed her eyes, knowing she was jumping down his throat for no reason. He wasn’t the enemy here. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t much, I know, but I thought it might be enough.” Katie paused as the bartender placed another shot in front of them. “It was the same necklace I had seen in a picture of a victim from another kidnapping. She was from Arcata and disappeared around the same time as I did.”
“Yeah, I’m familiar with the other cases. I, um, saw them mentioned in your file.”
She figured he already knew and didn’t fault him for it. “It’s okay. I know you were trying to help. Anyway, I told the chief that maybe that was enough to establish a link between the cases and they could open it up based on that.”
“I’m sure you don’t want to hear this, but I think the chief was right. The problem with that, Kate, is that you saw the necklace first and then recalled a memory in which the necklace appeared.” Marshall swallowed the second shot and continued. “That’s a tough one. If you had remembered it first and then saw the same one on the little girl, you might have had something, albeit still pretty thin, in terms of real evidence to link the two.
“It would be all too easy for anyone to discredit that because of the fact it was in a memory recalled some twenty years later. I can see why the DA doesn’t really want to open that can of worms.”
Katie was disheartened by the way he laid out the facts. It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair. She was the victim here.
“What do I have to do then?” The desperation in her voice was too difficult to hide. “You have no idea how many nights I’ve had these horrible dreams, remembering what happened. I wish to God that I hadn’t remembered any of it. I just want to get back to my old self. That’s what Spencer wants too; I know it. He wants to marry the sweet girl he met in college; the idealistic one who takes everything at face value. This person you see in front of you now? He doesn’t want her. She’s broken.”
“Kate, come on. I’m sure he doesn’t see you that way. Give the guy a break. I’m sure he feels helpless about the whole thing. I know I would.”
Katie didn’t usually drink hard liquor, but she was grateful that the shots had begun to calm her nerves.
“Look, when this investigation is over, I’ll do some digging around without getting deep enough to be noticed. I have a few contacts here and there,” Marshall said.
Katie’s eyes lit up at the idea that he was on her side once again.
“Just think about what I said earlier. You can’t change what happened and you’ll have to come to terms with it if you want to be happy in your life with Spencer.”
Marshall’s contradictory advice only served to confuse her further. He was offering help, but then suggests just moving on. She didn’t know what to believe or why he seemed conflicted about the situation himself.
“It sounds like you speak from experience,” Katie replied.
“Maybe I do.” He tossed back yet another shot.
* * *
By the time Katie sobered up enough to drive home, Spencer was already there, waiting for her.
“How was your day?” He faced the television and spoke without turning around.
Spencer’s irritation seemed to radiate throughout the tiny apartment. Katie leaned over the couch to kiss him.
“You taste like whisky. That isn’t usually your kind of drink.”
“Yeah, well, it was a whisky kind of day.” She proceeded to drop her purse onto the kitchen counter.
“I could tell by your text. You and Detective Avery have a nice time?”
That sounded vaguely accusatory and in her present state of mind, she considered it unacceptable.
“Really? Do you think there’s something going on between us?”
No, I don’t. I’m sorry.” It seemed he may not have been in a mood to engage in argument after all. “I’m just not used to abrupt text messages saying you’ll see me later without any explanation.”
“I know, Spencer. I’m the one who’s sorry.” Katie joined him on the couch. “As I was about to leave for the day, I checked my phone and saw a message from Chief Wilson. He told me they decided not to reopen the case. And then I figured you’d be working late and Marshall, I mean, Detective Avery asked if he could buy me a beer because I helped him out all week.”
Defeated, Katie continued. “I guess I figured I could use a drink after hearing Wilson’s message.”
“Katie, I had no idea.” Spencer embraced her and she relaxed in his arms. “So, what does that mean for us?”
She knew what he wanted to hear, but didn’t want to be coerced into saying it. “I don’t know, Spencer,” she said, pulling away from the embrace. “It means things will go along as usual, I expect. Isn’t that what you want? Good ol’ fun-loving Katie; eager to marry her lawyer-boyfriend?”
“Look, I know you’re upset right now, so why don’t we just calm down.”
“Come on, Spencer. Don’t pretend this isn’t exactly how you wanted it to play out. You wanted the whole thing to disappear so the number one priority in my life would be to plan our perfect little wedding.”
“Kate, don’t do this.”
“Do what? Be honest?” She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine.
“Feel like another drink, do you?” Spencer asked. If he wasn’t trying to pick a fight before, he most certainly was now.
“As a matter of fact, I do. I didn’t think that would be a problem for you. Not like, say, your other problems. Imagine, having a girlfriend who found out she had been held captive and violated when she was just a child.” She poured herself a very full glass of wine, not offering one to Spencer.
“You know this case I’ve been working on? Well, they think they know who did it, a pedophile. The guy lived five blocks down from the victim and had already been in prison for assaulting other children. The sad thing about this case? They can’t prove it yet. They can’t find the girl and they have no physical evidence. He’s under arrest for something as minor as not registering a change of address because he’s a sex offender.
“If they don’t find her, or can’t get the proof they need, he’ll serve some time for the registration offense and then go scot-free. Scot-free, just like the bastard who took me and probably killed those other kids too.”
“Okay, Katie, that’s enough.” Spencer took the wine from her and grabbed hold of her again, this time, she couldn’t wrangle out of his grip.
She finally let go. Everything that had been building up inside her spilled over; the anger she felt towards her parents for lying, anger with the man to took her, and now anger at the police who won’t help her find him. The weight of her entire body was in Spencer’s arms now and he wasn’t letting go.
15
KATIE WOKE UP Saturday morning with a dry mouth and a pounding head. She and Spe
ncer had been up most of the night talking about everything. It was exactly what they both needed.
Today, she would refocus her energies on the positive things in her life. Detective Avery was right; she would have to decide to live her life or to become paralyzed by the events of her past.
“Good morning, sweetie.” Spencer rolled over to find Katie sitting at the edge of their bed, gulping down water and some aspirin.
“You feeling all right?” he asked.
“Yeah, just a little headache.” She didn’t want to tell him her head felt like it was about to explode. It must have been the bourbon.
Katie meandered into the living room and turned on the TV. Spencer was finding his way out of bed, but she was already in the kitchen before long. The news rambled on in the background while she made the coffee. It wasn’t until she heard the words, “Isabelle Thompson” that she rushed back in and stood in front of the screen.
“Police arrived just after dawn this morning at the Miramar landfill after a worker notified his supervisor that he had spotted human remains just before his earthmoving equipment was to begin working the area. The unidentified body is thought to be that of missing eight-year-old, Isabelle Thompson. The little girl disappeared last month after she failed to arrive at school on the morning of April 10th. Her mother has not yet been cleared in the investigation; however, she and the other family members maintain her innocence in the disappearance of Isabelle. Community volunteers and police have been scouring the surrounding neighborhoods for any clues as to her whereabouts. There is an ongoing investigation of a suspect already in custody on another charge, but police are reluctant to release any further details pending positive identification.”
Katie listened, hoping for more on the story, but that was all, a three-minute blip for this little girl who had been taken and was now presumed dead.
Spencer walked into the room. “What are you doing, hon?” he asked as she stood motionless.
“They found her.”
“They found who?” He began walking towards her.
“Isabelle. They found her in a landfill. It was just on the news.”
“Oh my God. I’m so sorry, honey.” He put his arm around her. “That poor little girl. They’re sure it’s her?”
“Not yet. They haven’t identified the remains.”
“Well, maybe it’s not.”
“Spencer, it’s her. I know it is. The police know it is, they just won’t say anything until they know for sure.”
“Oh babe; that’s why I was nervous about you working on this sort of case. Unfortunately, this is how they usually turn out. You have to be able to stay emotionally detached or it will eat you alive.”
Katie stepped away from him and headed towards their bedroom.
“Where are you going?”
“I need to go for a walk or something. I just need to be alone for a while.”
“Katie, please. I know this is devastating for you, but you can’t let it get to you. You’ve been through enough and don’t need to carry this burden as well. Let’s go somewhere together. Somewhere that will take your mind off of it. Maybe we can go cake tasting or something. We haven’t picked out our cake yet.”
She whipped around, looking at him as if he had just lost his mind. “Cake tasting? A little girl, whom I have been helping to find, has just been found dead and you want to go cake tasting?”
“Jesus! Yes! Okay? I want us to do something normal, something that doesn’t involve thinking about child molesters and murderers. You think I don’t get enough of that in my own work? For God’s sake, I want us to have fun and be happy, you know, like we talked about last night? Have you forgotten about everything we said?”
“No, I haven’t. I just need an hour to myself, please. Just to clear my head, okay? I know I can’t let this stuff get to me like this, I just need to figure out a way to handle it and right now, being alone for a while will help. Then, when I get back, we can go and do whatever you want, I swear.”
He said nothing more, just gave her a nod and continued into the kitchen.
This was not how she expected the day to begin. It was as if nothing they said last night made any difference at all.
She threw on sweat pants and a t-shirt, grabbed her keys and phone, and headed towards the front door. “I’ll be back in a little while.” Katie left without waiting for a response.
Their apartment was a few blocks from a park and that was where she was headed. On arrival, the workers at the park were preparing for the Memorial Day celebrations. With everything that had been happening, she hadn’t realized the parade was tomorrow.
A bench under the shade tree seemed the perfect spot. She watched the children play on the playground. They were innocent and beautiful and she just couldn’t stomach the thought that Isabelle was in that landfill. She wanted to call Marshall, of course, he was probably one of the first ones to go out there. It was his case, after all and he was bound to be knee-deep in it right now.
* * *
The sun began poking through the morning mist. The park soon filled with parents setting up for their children’s birthday parties and the smell of barbeque floated by, making Katie’s mouth water. How long had she been here? It must be nearing lunchtime.
Enough time had passed for Katie to clear her head and regain perspective. The shock of this latest development in Isabelle’s case sunk in. It was time to bring the girl’s murderer to justice and she would continue her work with Marshall as long as he needed her. However, making amends with Spencer was what she needed to do now.
When she returned to the apartment, he was exactly where she left him. Katie sat beside him and held his hand. “So, you feel like picking out our cake?”
Spencer’s weary smile gave her pause. She’d not seen him look at her in that manner before.
“I’m exhausted, Katie,” he began. “I feel like an insensitive ass when I say anything to you about our wedding, like I should be ashamed of myself for speaking of such things when you’re going through something I can’t even hope to comprehend. Now you’re working with the police on missing persons cases? Since when did that stuff even interest you?” He rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know what’s happening here, but it scares the hell out of me. I’m afraid to help you, afraid not to help you. Christ, I don’t know which way is up anymore.”
She’d already felt terrible for lashing out at him earlier. Clearly, he’d been hurt by it. “I know you don’t and it’s my fault. I’m so damned confused myself, I don’t know what direction I’m headed either. I wanted to work with the police so I could learn about investigations, leads…that sort of stuff. I thought that maybe it would help me find him. Spencer, I wish I could help you to understand what this feels like for me. I’m just so frustrated by my own lack of understanding. But, please, just hang in there with me a little while longer; I promise, this won’t last forever. I will resolve it somehow.”
“Let’s figure this out together then, okay? I mean it.” Spencer replied.
“Okay.”
* * *
Monday morning, Katie sat quietly at her desk, unsure of what to do next. There were no messages from Marshall, no e-mails; nothing to indicate that he needed her help in any way.
Susan arrived a short time later and called Katie to her office.
“Good morning, Susan.”
“Well, I’m not sure how good it is, but come on in and take a seat. I’m sure you heard the news over the weekend.”
Katie nodded.
“We’ll need to turn over all the files and notes you’ve taken on the Thompson case. The police and the DA are going to need everything we’ve got. From what I gather, forensics on the body should be completed tomorrow and they’ll get the identity. Once they have that, we’re going to help Isabelle’s school provide counseling services through our Crisis Center. I’ll let you coordinate those efforts. In the meantime, let’s go ahead and copy the files to flash drives. They’ll want paper copies as well.�
�
Katie, believing she was being dismissed, stood up to leave.
“One more thing, Katie; you were working pretty closely with Detective Avery on this. There’s no shame in talking to someone, if you need to. It’s never easy when it ends this way, but the first time is always the toughest.”
“Thank you, Susan. I’ll keep it in mind.”
* * *
The next few hours were spent compiling the data, copying e-mails, and gathering various other correspondences. The unsettled feeling, as though she was already burying Isabelle, wouldn’t go away.
“Hi, Kate.”
She glanced up from her computer screen to find Detective Avery standing in her doorway.
“Marshall? Please, come in.”
“It’s been all over the news, so I’m sure you heard.” His rhetorical question elicited only her nod of acknowledgement.
“We’ve been able to positively identify her. It’s Isabelle. We won’t release it to the press until tomorrow, after we’ve had a chance to talk to the family.”
Katie swallowed hard, not wanting her weakness to show through. It was what everyone suspected, but knowing for sure made it all the more difficult.
“The only good thing about this is that we’ll be able to get DNA evidence from the body. Forensics hasn’t had much luck with Johansen’s home or vehicle. Some tests are still pending, but DNA will put an end to any question of culpability.”
“How much time will he serve?” she asked.
“Hopefully, it’ll be the death penalty.” He turned towards the exit.
“Marshall, wait. Will you help me find him? I can’t let it go; not after this.” She didn’t elaborate any further, knowing he would understand her meaning.
“It won’t be easy, Kate. We have virtually nothing to go on but your memory.”
“I understand, but I have to at least try. I know if Chief Wilson can help, even if it’s off the record, he will. He’s a lot like you, I think; determined to find the truth.”
