I bend down and gather the bags. “Well, at least let me bring these around back for you.”
“It’s fine. You can leave them—”
Maverick wedges himself between the door and Callie’s legs and leaps up at me. He knocks the bags out of my arms, tearing one of them, and everything tumbles onto the ground.
“Maverick!” Callie hisses, crouching down to collect what fell.
I nudge his paws off my chest and use this opportunity to snatch the hat from Callie’s head. She gasps and attempts to shield her eyes with her hands.
But it’s too late.
Every muscle in my body goes stiff, and my stomach bottoms out. I clench my jaw so hard that it feels like my teeth might shatter.
A bright-purple splotch stains her right cheek, on the bone just under her eye.
“What. The. Fuck. Is. That?”
Callie’s eyes well as she stammers. “It’s nothing. Really. I tripped and fell and—”
“You’re seriously going to give me the I-fell-and-hit-a-doorknob excuse?”
Her bottom lip trembles, and she shakes her head. “No. Not a doorknob. It was ... it’s ...”
“Go ahead. I’ll wait while you think of a believable story.” I fold my arms over my chest, restraining myself so that I don’t hoist her over my shoulder like a caveman and take her away.
Maybe that’s what I should do.
“Cole, it’s not what you think.”
“And what is it that I’m thinking, hmm?”
Her arms fall at her sides, and she lowers her gaze.
“Say it.” I edge closer to her, forcing her green eyes to look up at me. “I want to hear you lie to my face.”
“Cole, please,” she whimpers.
“Fine. If you won’t tell me, I’ll just wait until Paul comes home, and then I’ll ask him what happened to your face.”
“No!” Her hands fly up to her mouth.
And there it is.
The truth hanging there in the space between us.
My voice turns sinister. “He hurt you.”
“Please. It’s not that big of a deal.”
My eyebrows hit my hairline. “Not that big of a deal? Are you kidding me?”
Tears stream down her face now. “You don’t understand. Please, you can’t say anything to Josie.”
“You’re not fooling her. You know that, right?”
She looks so pitiful, so broken, standing there with her hair a wreck and that bruise on her tear-stained cheek. A fragment of my heart splinters off and drops at her feet. I want to help her. Want to fix it for her. But I don’t know how.
“Thank you for all of this,” she says, waving her arm at the bags scattered below. “I appreciate it more than you know. But you can’t be here. I need you to go.”
“Before he gets home.” It’s not a question. I know what she means.
She hesitates before giving me a slow nod.
I don’t know what the fuck to do. Logic tells me Callie is a grown-ass woman who can take care of herself. This isn’t my business, and I shouldn’t get involved.
But another part of me—the louder part—is screaming at me to do something. Get her out of here.
I settle somewhere in between. “Give me your phone.”
Callie’s eyebrows pull down. “What?”
“Give me your phone. I want you to have my number in case ... in case you need it.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“I’m not leaving until you do.” I hold my hand out.
She groans and walks back into her house.
While I wait, I crouch down to stroke Maverick’s head. “You have to protect her, Mav.”
He rests his head on my knee and lets out a heavy sigh.
Callie returns with her phone a moment later, and I punch in my number.
When I give her phone back, I clasp her hand. “You don’t have to go through this, Callie. You deserve better.”
Then, I turn and force myself across the street.
I hear the boys laughing as I enter through Josie’s back gate. They’re kicking a soccer ball around the yard while my sister sits in the grass playing with the twins.
“Hey, brother. How was work?”
I stalk over to her, unable to contain my rage another second longer. “You were right.”
Her eyebrows dip down as she stands. “Right about what?”
I stab the air with my index finger in the direction of Callie’s house. “Her husband hits her.”
Josie’s hand clamps over her mouth. “How do you know this?”
“Just went over there to drop off a few things for her garden. She wouldn’t answer the door at first, but when she did, she was trying to hide under a hat.” I scrub my hands over my face. “She has a bruise on her face, Josie. He hit her in the face.”
Her eyes go wide. “How do you know it was him?”
I pace along the side of the pool. “She couldn’t even tell me how it happened. She started stuttering, and I called her out on it.”
“Oh, my God. I knew it! I knew something was wrong. What are we going to do?”
I arch an eyebrow. “I’ll tell you what I’d like to do.”
“No, Cole. We have to be smart about this. If Paul finds out Callie told someone, things could get a lot worse for her.”
Worse than getting hit in the face?
I stare down at my hands. They’re large and calloused. Strong from years of manual labor. Man’s hands. How could a man put his hands on a woman? I try to imagine it, but the thought turns my stomach.
Even after everything went down with Penny, not once did I think of raising my hands to her. How can Callie’s husband live with himself? How can he think this is okay?
Moreover, why is Callie accepting this and staying with him? Covering for him?
Josie must be thinking similar thoughts, because she keeps shaking her head like she’s unable to fathom what’s happening.
I throw my hands up. “Yeah, the only plan I’m coming up with is to beat the piss out of him.”
“Believe me. I’d love nothing more than to give that piece of shit a taste of the Luciano siblings.” Josie lets out an exasperated laugh. “Remember the good old days?”
A smirk pulls at my lips. “I think we were in the principal’s office more than we were in our classes.”
Josie grins. “Poor Mom. She was beside herself every time she got a phone call from the school.”
Mom.
My chest clenches.
Josie’s smile fades. “I really miss her.”
“Me too.”
“Was she ...” She glances down at the twins. “Did she ever say she was angry with me for not coming to visit as much?”
I shake my head. “She wasn’t too coherent toward the end, but she’d always ask me to show her the boys’ pictures. It made her happy to see her grandkids.”
Josie swipes a fallen tear from her cheek. “I wish she and Dad could’ve met them.”
I clear my throat, stuffing the emotion down. “Well, I’m going to jump in the shower. Been a long day.”
“I’ll talk to Dan when he gets home. He’s the level-headed one. Maybe he can come up with a plan to help Callie.”
“I’ll, uh, come by for dinner tonight.” I lift my eyes to hers. “If that’s okay.”
A smile breaks on Josie’s face. “Of course it’s okay.”
I nod and make my way toward the pool house.
“Hey, Cole?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m really glad you’re here with us.”
“Come on, baby girl. Mommy needs to eat.”
Serenity whimpers and buries her face in Josie’s neck.
Dan holds his arms out, reaching for her. “Come to Daddy. Give Mommy a break.”
“No!”
“I’ve never seen her like this,” Josie says. “She doesn’t have a fever or anything.”
Brandon claps his hands. “Wanna come to big brother?”
“No!”
Serenity squirms in Josie’s lap. It looks like she wants to get down, but when Josie attempts to move her to her high chair, Serenity clings to her shirt, not wanting to let go.
“She’s allowed to be fussy,” Dan says, shoving a piece of bread into his mouth. “Girl’s an angel most of the time.”
Lucas tosses his sippy cup onto the floor. I bend down to pick it up and place it on his tray. Not two seconds later, he tosses it over again.
He giggles. “Cole pick up!”
I glare at him.
He giggles again.
“This one’s gonna give you trouble,” I say to Dan as I lean over and swipe the cup off the floor. This time, I set it down on the table, just out of Lucas’s reach.
Now it’s his turn to glare.
Dan chuckles. “Tell me about it.”
Serenity wails, and both Brandon and Miles cover their ears.
“I’m going to try putting her down. Maybe she’s tired.” Josie pushes back from the table and carries Serenity out of the kitchen.
“Can we be excused?” Miles asks.
Dan glances at their plates and nods. “Clear your dishes first.”
The boys scramble to their feet, and after they dump their dishes into the sink, they disappear into the basement.
Dan shakes his head with a smirk. “Welcome to the circus.”
“It definitely keeps you guys on your toes.”
He sits back against his chair and crosses his arms over his chest. “Josie told me about Callie.”
I swallow the food in my mouth and drop my fork onto the table. “You’re friends with Paul.”
He nods with a heavy sigh. “Can’t imagine the guy doing something like that. I’ve known him for years.”
“You never know what goes on behind closed doors.”
Trust me. I should know.
“That’s true.” His eyes tighten. “How bad did she look?”
Bile works its way into my mouth. I haven’t been able to get the image of her face, the bruise, the hopeless look in her eyes, out of my head all day.
I lift my hand and gesture to my cheekbone. “He got her right here. Decent-sized bruise.”
Dan’s face contorts as his head jerks back. “Jesus.”
Josie returns with the baby monitor, Serenity’s cry blaring through the speaker. She plops down into her seat and chugs the contents of Dan’s beer bottle.
“She’s just going to have to cry it out.” She points a finger at Lucas. “And don’t you get any ideas, tough guy. I can only handle one screamer tonight.”
Lucas bangs his fists on his tray. “Lucas tough guy!”
Josie grins. “Not tougher than Mommy, kid.” She turns her attention to Dan. “So, what are we going to do about Callie?”
Dan runs his hand over his buzz cut. “I think you have to talk to her first. You’re her best friend. Tell her you know about what Paul’s been doing. Let her know we’re here to help her in any way we can. See what she says.”
Josie splays her fingers on the table. “But what if she doesn’t leave him? Most women in her situation stay with the monsters who beat them.”
“You can’t force her to do something she’s not ready to do,” Dan says. “All you can do is let her know that she has a safe place here if she needs somewhere to go.”
Josie chews on her lip, and I know Dan’s answer isn’t good enough for her.
I know this because it isn’t good enough for me either.
Dan stands and brings his plate to the sink. “I have a video conference with a client. I’ll be in my office if you need me. We can finish talking about this later.” He bends down and plants a kiss on the top of Josie’s head.
As he walks into the hallway, a loud, gurgling semi-explosion sounds from the tiny human sitting next to me.
Josie and I whip our heads around to look at him.
Lucas giggles. “Poopy.”
Josie’s head falls onto the table with a groan. “Sure. Wait until Daddy’s gone.”
I pull up the neck of my shirt to shield my nose. “God, that’s foul. What are you feeding this kid?”
She lifts her head to glare at me, and for the first time since I’ve been here, I realize how tired she looks.
Before my sister moved out to California, she and I were a team. Our family didn’t have much, but we stuck together and helped each other out. She was my best friend for a long time, and I felt the significant loss when she left. She started a new life with her new family, and I’d resented her for it. I assumed she cared about money, expensive homes, and luxury cars more than she cared about the family she left behind.
But looking at her now, at the table full of dirty dishes waiting to be washed, the toddler screaming her head off upstairs, and another one who I’m pretty sure just shit the motherload up the back of his onesie, while the older boys play downstairs, undoubtedly turning the basement into a disaster zone ... it gives me a different perspective on Josie’s life here. One I couldn’t appreciate without seeing it for myself.
We used to have each other’s backs.
I guess we still should.
I toss my napkin onto the table and push out of my seat. “Clean your kid’s ass. I’ll be right back.”
I jog halfway down the basement stairs and peer at the boys over the railing. “Hey. Your mom needs help. Get up here and clear the table. Brandon, you wash the dishes, and Miles will dry. You got me?”
The boys drop their video game controllers and follow me up the steps without a complaint.
Then, I suck in a deep breath and make my way up to Serenity’s bedroom.
The poor girl’s voice sounds raw from all the screaming she’s been doing. Her cry cuts off when I step into her darkened room. She eyes me warily through the slats in her crib as I flip on the small lamp on the nightstand in the corner.
“You’re makin’ a lot of noise for someone so small,” I whisper, taking tentative steps toward her.
Immediately, her arms shoot up for me. My chest cracks open, and I wince at the physical pain.
Fuck.
No, I can do this.
I need to do this.
It’s for Josie.
I reach into the crib and scoop Serenity up into my arms. She buries her face in the crook of my neck and fists my T-shirt in her little hands. I rub my hand along her back, and she releases a tiny sigh.
Tears sting my eyes, but I will them away.
I can do this.
I carry Serenity to the rocking chair by the window and lower us into it. She snuggles against me as if she can’t get close enough. I rock her gently as I continue to rub circles on her back.
Grief strangles me while agony sears my insides. The feel of this little life in my arms, her warmth, her innocence, her pure light … it’s too much. I squeeze my eyes shut, desperate to cling to the remaining threads of my sanity, but the tears spring free. A sob chokes out, and I squeeze Serenity tighter.
As if she knows, as if she can understand my sorrow, she lifts her hand and presses her palm to my wet cheek.
I’m not sure who’s comforting who anymore, but it feels like we both need this.
And then, without even thinking about it, I start to sing. It’s a song I know well, the lyrics haunting me every night along with the ghosts of my past.
I only get halfway through the song before Serenity falls asleep in my arms, but I sing it all the way through.
A while later, the door cracks open, and Josie tiptoes inside, slowly lowering a sleeping Lucas into his crib.
“You got her to sleep,” she whispers.
I nod. “She’s been out for a while.” I ease out of the rocking chair and bring Serenity to her crib.
Josie places her hand on my shoulder. “Thank you so much.”
I nod as we gaze down at her sleeping angel.
“How do you do it?”
Josie tilts her head. “Do what?”
“How do you sleep at night?”
Understanding and sadness washes over my sister’s face. “It’s not easy. I check on them, all of them, at least a dozen times. I wake up in the middle of the night and creep into their rooms, making sure they’re okay.” She smiles. “Sometimes Dan is already in here. He worries too.”
My eyes burn, and I swallow around the boulder that’s forever lodged in my throat.
Josie edges closer. “Cole, what you went through ...”
I shake my head violently. “No.”
“Please, let me just say this. Once, and you’ll never hear another word from me again.”
My fists clench at my sides, and I grit my teeth, bracing myself for what she’s about to say.
“No one should ever have to go through what you and Penny did. It’s not right, and it’s not fair, and I’ll never understand why things like that have to happen. Never. But it happened.” Her eyes bore through mine in the darkness. “Somehow, some way, you have to pick yourself up and move forward. You can’t stay stuck in this purgatory of torture and self-loathing. It’ll take some time, but you can start a new life. Find someone new, start a family. Try again.”
She pauses, gazing at Serenity and then back at me. “I see how much you love her. How much you love my kids. You could make an incredible father someday if you just allow yourself to have that.”
“Yeah, Father of the Fucking Year.” I move to pass her, to get out of this room, out of this house. I need air.
Josie grips my forearm. “Cole.”
I remain staring straight ahead, waiting for her to finish.
“Nothing that happened is your fault. You hear me?” Her fingers tighten, biting into my skin. “Nothing. That happened. Is your fault.”
I shake her off and get out of there as fast as I can.
Twelve
Cole
Four Years Ago
I wiped my sweaty palms on my slacks.
Yeah, I was wearing dress pants.
Hoped I didn’t look as ridiculous as I felt.
The fancy French doors swung open, and Annette, one of the maids, greeted me with a smile.
“Cole, what a pleasant surprise! Come in.”
“Thank you, Annette. How are you?”
What's Left of Me Page 9
