He steps forward and cradles my face in his hands. “I need you, Callie. You. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t.”
The guilt overwhelms me. He’s in my space, and my head is swirling. I can’t breathe, my chest tight, my throat closing. I place my palms on his chest and push him back gently, but he doesn’t budge.
He grips my face tighter.
“Please, Callie. Please, come home with me. Be with me again. I’ll be better, I swear.”
His lips crash into mine. His kiss is anything but tender. I try to pull back, but he wraps his arms around me and squeezes me, holding me there against him.
Against my will.
I turn my head so I can suck in a breath. “Paul, please. You’re hurting me.”
“I just love you so much. I can show you. You need to see. You need to feel it again. If you feel my love, you’ll come home. I can make you love me again.”
My heart thrashes against my chest. “No! Not like this. Please, not like this.”
I can’t wriggle free. He’s too strong. Instead, I let my legs go limp and drop all of my weight in his arms. He stumbles forward and falls on top of me on the floor.
I claw at the area rug beneath me, attempting to slither out of his reach. But he’s fast, and he pins me on my back, straddling my hips.
Again, he kisses me hard. Tears stream down my face. I can’t get enough oxygen into my lungs, and I begin to panic.
I squirm under him, kicking my legs and smacking his arms, doing anything I can to get away.
He restrains my wrists over my head in one of his big hands while the other reaches between us. The sound of the zipper on his pants echoes in the room.
I scream.
“Shh. It’s okay, baby,” he whispers in my ear. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Please don’t do this, Paul. Please! I’ll never be with you if you do this.”
But he doesn’t hear my plea.
I don’t think anything I say could reach him now.
Panicked and running out of time, I ram my forehead into his, stunning the both of us. His grip around my wrists loosens, and I use the opportunity to stretch my arm up to the glass vase sitting on top of the coffee table.
I smash it into the side of Paul’s head, knocking him unconscious. Glass shards are everywhere, and blood trickles from Paul’s temple.
But I don’t move.
I can’t.
I wrap my arms around my midsection and curl up into a shaking ball on the floor.
Twenty-Three
Cole
There are some images you’ll never be able to erase from your memory.
Callie lying in the middle of Josie’s living room in the fetal position, covered in broken glass, is one of them.
I hear someone crying when I walk into Josie’s kitchen. I step through the hallway, and when I get to the living room, my stomach bottoms out.
Paul’s passed out face-down on the area rug beside Callie, and she’s weeping. I rush over to her and kneel down, scooping her into my arms.
“Callie, what happened? Are you okay?”
Her entire body is trembling, tears running down her cheeks. “Be careful,” she whispers. “There’s glass.”
A strangled sound leaves my throat. “What the fuck happened in here?”
She squeezes her eyes shut and buries her face in my chest. Uncontrollable sobs wrack her body.
Jesus Christ.
“I need you to tell me if you’re hurt.” I glance down to her arms and legs. “Did he ... did he hurt you?”
She shakes her head. “He tried ... he tried to force himself on me.”
Paul stirs, groaning, as he touches his fingers to the cut on his head.
Rage flares in the pit of my stomach, and it courses through me like lava. I carry Callie to the stairs and ease her onto her feet. “Go upstairs and lock yourself in your room. Don’t come out until I come and get you. Do you understand me?”
Her eyes move to Paul, but I bring her attention back to me. “Look at me, Callie. Do you understand?”
She nods and then runs up the stairs.
Paul is trying to stand when I stalk over to him. I grip him by the back of his neck and drag him toward the door.
“What are you doing?” he grumbles.
“What I should’ve done from the start.”
As I turn the knob, the door pushes back on me. Dan, Josie, and the kids are home.
“Cole, what’s going on?” Josie asks.
“Keep the kids out of the living room. There’s glass everywhere.”
I push past them as Paul struggles to get out of my grip.
Dan follows me down the walkway. “Where are you going?”
I stare straight into his eyes. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”
Josie hands Serenity off to Brandon. “Take the twins to your room, boys.”
They scurry inside and close the door.
Josie turns back to me. “Don’t do anything stupid. I’ll call the cops, and they’ll deal with him.”
I shove Paul onto the ground. “Call the cops. He’s going to need an ambulance.”
Paul moves to run, but I’m quick to slam him back down with my foot. I mount him and wrap both hands around his neck, crushing his windpipe. “How does it feel to have the life choked out of you, Paul? Huh? How do you like feeling helpless on the ground?”
“Cole, stop!” Josie yanks on my shoulder.
But I don’t relent.
“You’ve made your point,” Dan says. “Come on. Don’t do something you’re going to regret.”
Oh, I won’t regret this.
It feels good to release some of this tension I’ve been carrying around. To give Paul a taste of his own medicine. He’s sputtering, his face turning red and then purple. I want him to match the bruises he’s left on Callie.
Then Josie’s voice penetrates my senses. “Think of Mia. She’s looking down on you right now. Don’t do this. She’s watching.”
Like I’ve been shocked with an electric current, I release Paul’s throat and stagger backward.
Mia. My Mia.
Dan bends down next to Paul, who’s clutching his throat and gasping for air. “Get off my property, and don’t come back. You’re not welcome here.”
Paul grunts as he pushes to his feet. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. I just want her back.”
Josie shoves past me and swings her hand, slapping her palm across his cheek. “You will never get her back. Ever. Now go!”
Paul’s head slumps forward, and he drags himself across the street.
“What the hell happened in there?” Dan asks, turning to face me.
“I went to the kitchen to grab something to eat, and I heard Callie crying in the living room. When I walked in to see what was wrong, they were both on the floor.” I glare at Paul’s back as he makes his way to his house. “I think he tried to rape her.”
Without another word, Josie spins around and bolts into the house in search of her friend.
Dan sighs, running his fingers through his hair. “I’ll call my buddy, John. He’s a cop. Callie can make a statement and get a restraining order against Paul. That should help her with the divorce.”
“Won’t put him where he belongs.”
“No, but at least it’s something.”
I shake my head. “Should’ve let me handle it.”
“Do you really think you’re capable of something like that?”
“It’s what I do.”
Dan shouts after me as I turn and walk toward the backyard. “That’s not true, Cole.”
“Tell that to Mia.”
I’m surprised to see Callie at the diner the next day.
She’s eating lunch at our usual spot at the counter. There are two plates waiting for me and Billy on either side of her.
“There’s my girl,” Billy says, taking the stool to the left of her.
She smiles, though it doesn’t reach her tired eyes. I wonder if she got any slee
p last night.
I know I didn’t.
“How are you?” I ask.
She lifts a shoulder and lets it fall. “Could’ve been worse.”
“Doesn’t mean it wasn’t a big deal. You should’ve taken the day off.”
She shakes her head. “I need to keep busy.”
“Here we go with the whispering again.” Billy rolls his eyes.
I toss a french fry at his head, and he flips me off, garnering a chuckle from Callie.
Gertie makes her way down the counter, refilling coffee mugs as she points a finger at me. “You best not be throwing food in my diner. Just because you’re good looking doesn’t mean I won’t knock you upside your head with my shoe.”
“That I’d love to see,” Callie says.
My jaw drops open. “Hey, whose side are you on?”
Callie laughs as she nudges me with her shoulder.
Billy takes over the conversation, and Gertie uses the distraction to lean in and whisper to me. “I’m glad you’re here. This is the first time I’ve seen her smile all day.”
I nod, speaking around the wad of food in my mouth. “She had a rough night.”
“What happened?”
“Her ex came by the house and attacked her. He tried to force himself on her.”
Gertie’s wrinkly hands ball into little fists. “I could kill him.”
“Yeah,” I say with a laugh. “I tried to.”
Her eyebrows shoot up even higher than they’re already drawn on. “You were there?”
“Few minutes too late. I found her on the floor.”
She clicks her tongue as she shakes her head. “Poor thing doesn’t deserve any of this.”
“No, she doesn’t.”
Gertie looks over the rim of her glasses at me. “She thinks very highly of you, you know.”
“She shouldn’t.”
“Ah, horseshit.”
“Uh-oh,” Billy says. “Gertie’s cursing. What’d you do now, Cole?”
I hold my hands up on either side of my head. “I didn’t do anything.”
“This is why I’m her favorite. Ain’t that right, Gertie?”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, sugar.” She pats Billy’s hand as she heads back to the kitchen.
When we’re finished with lunch, Callie stops me before I follow Billy out the door. “I just wanted to say thanks for helping me last night.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
She smiles. “Just accept my gratitude, will you?”
“Fine.”
“You’re so difficult.”
I smirk at that.
“I think I need to look for another place to live,” she says as if she’s thinking aloud.
My eyebrows lift. “You think that’s a good idea?”
She smooths her hand over her hair and blows out a breath through her lips. “I don’t want Paul to know where I am, and I hate feeling like I’m putting the kids in danger.”
“I’ve actually been looking for apartments myself. Around here. I like the area, and the prices aren’t too bad. I could help you look if you want.”
Her face lights up. “Really? You’re not going back to New York?”
“I ... I’m not sure. Just looking at my options.”
“Well, I’d love your help.”
“How about tomorrow after work?”
She chews her bottom lip. “I’m actually meeting with the lawyer. Going to move forward with the divorce.”
Relief floods through me. On instinct, my hand reaches out to touch her shoulder.
And she doesn’t flinch.
“I’m glad to hear that, Callie. I think you’re making the right decision.”
She nods. “I know I am. It’s just scary.”
“Can’t be scarier than what you’ve already been through.”
She mulls that over for a minute and then offers me a small smile. “That’s a good way of thinking about it.”
I wink. “That’s the only way you should be thinking about it.”
I’m about to push open the door and leave, but then Callie throws her arms around my midsection. I’m filthy from work, but I don’t bother to tell her that. Instead, I snake one arm around to her back and one around to cradle the back of her head, holding her against my chest.
We both exhale, and I don’t know who needs this more. The angel caught up in chaos, or the demon searching for peace.
Her cheeks are flushed when she pulls away. “Sorry about that. I don’t know what came over me.”
I tip her chin up so her eyes meet mine. “Remember what I told you about apologizing.”
She laughs as she turns to walk back toward the kitchen. “I’ll work on that.”
“Hey, Callie.”
She spins around, a hopeful gleam in her eyes. “Yeah?”
“I’m proud of you.”
And then she dazzles me with the most brilliant smile I’ve ever seen. It steals my next breath right from my chest.
When I meet Billy outside—who no doubt just saw everything—he shakes his head and huffs out a laugh.
“What?” I ask, not really wanting to know what he’s about to say.
“Dude, you are so screwed.”
Twenty-Four
Callie
September comes and goes in the blink of an eye.
Lots of changes are in motion. Brandon and Miles are back in school. Josie enrolled the twins in daycare for three days a week. Warm summer nights have turned a bit chillier, though the days are just as hot.
Life moves on around me, but for once, I don’t feel stuck. I don’t feel like I’m trapped on the inside, watching everyone live and grow on the outside.
This time, I’m living and growing, too.
Paul has been served with a restraining order and divorce papers. I haven’t heard from him since the night at Josie’s last month. Part of me is surprised he hasn’t reached out to me. The other part is relieved. I try not to think about it too much. It makes me feel sad for the good pieces of our relationship that I’ve lost. The happy times we shared. The good news is he’s cooperating with my lawyer. Will said that normally it can take up to six months for a divorce to be finalized, but if Paul continues to comply, he can expedite the process so it’ll be over before that.
That’s all I want, to close that chapter of my life.
Despite what Josie and Cole think, I believe in my heart that Paul is not a monster. He’s not a bad person. He’s human. He has a problem, and I hope he seeks help for it. The hardest part of moving on hasn’t been forgiving Paul. I forgive him for his flaws.
But it’s been difficult learning how to forgive myself.
My days are spent at the diner. I love creating new dishes for customers to try, and I love talking with Gertie even more. She has become like family to me. In the evenings, I keep busy by going to therapy or group and spending time with Josie and the kids. Cole and I have been looking for apartments, but nothing has felt like the right place for either of us. Still, I enjoy our time together.
Cole and I have grown closer. I never would’ve guessed that the rude, scowling man in Josie’s backyard—who looked like the landscaper—would become such an important person in my life. Though he denies it, he has a heart of gold. I’ve seen it. I’ve been on the receiving end of his kind and gentle nature.
If only he’d face what he’s running from.
I know he’s tortured by something. Something more than his ex-wife cheating on him. Something he blames himself for. I want to take his pain away, to help him heal.
But I know better than anyone that healing needs to start from within.
One night in October, as I’m closing up the diner, I decide to reach out to a few of the women from group to see if they want to have a few drinks with me and Josie by the fire pit in her yard. I could really go for a girls’ night in.
Jasmine, Carrie, Janae, Jennifer, and Chelsea show up at nine with bottles of wine and fruit and cheese to snack o
n.
“Bitch, you forgot to mention you’re living in a castle,” Carrie says, nudging me with her elbow as she walks through the door.
“No wonder you haven’t found an apartment. I’d be dragging my feet too.” Janae’s eyes roam around the foyer and travel up the spiral staircase.
“I just haven’t found anything that feels right yet.”
Chelsea drapes her arm around my shoulders as I lead them to the backyard. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m good. Some days are tougher than others, but I feel better now than I did when I was living with Paul. It’s like an insane amount of weight was lifted off me. It’s crazy to think that I was okay living in fear like that for so long.”
“It’s not crazy,” Jennifer says. “You were comfortable in your situation. It was familiar to you.”
Carrie nods. “Change is scary as fuck.”
Josie greets us when we step outside. “Who said fuck? I like you already.”
The girls laugh, and I introduce them as we take our seats around the fire pit.
Josie hands me a glass of Moscato, and I close my eyes as I take a sip. “I can’t remember the last time I had a glass of wine.”
“I can’t either,” Josie says with a pout. “We used to sit out here every night.”
“Paul got violent when he drank.” I hike a shoulder. “I figured if I didn’t drink, then he wouldn’t feel the need to either.”
“Didn’t work, did it?” Carrie asks.
I shake my head.
Carrie leans over and squeezes my knee. “That’s all behind you now.”
My eyes find Jennifer’s forearm. “I keep thinking about your tattoo and how you said it reminds you that life is precious.”
She smiles. “I look at it every single day.”
Janae’s eyebrows lift. “Are you thinking of getting one?”
“Oh, please can we go together?” Josie asks. “We can get matching best friend tattoos!”
I laugh. “I’ve been thinking about it. For so long, I had to hide the marks Paul left on my body. If I got a tattoo, it’d be my choice. A mark I was proud of.”
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