by Lila Rose
“Poppadom, what’s goin’ on?” came from behind me. Turning, I found Charlie standing there with furrowed brows until he saw it was me. Then he smiled. Hadn’t seen him in for-fuckin’-ever and had only just spoken to him over the phone a couple of times about getting Alvin into Hawks. “Fang. Jesus, son. It’s good to see you.” When my hand came up to ward off my approaching brothers, he glanced there, then back, and asked, “What’s goin’ on?”
“We gotta talk, Charlie.” I sensed Poppy take her leave, and I let her. She needed away from me, so I gave her space. For now. Until I found out what was going on, there was jack shit I could do. But I’d figure this out, work out how to fix it, and then in turn, fix Poppy and me.
Chapter Two
Poppy
Seeing Jerimiah was too much. He’d been my rock, my everything really from the moment I’d moved to Caroline Springs and started at the same high school he went to. It could have been my young, foolish feelings, but he’d been the love of my life… until he wounded me deeply. When I left to heal, he’d called, texted a few times, but that didn’t last long. What he never did was come and see me. He hadn’t cared that much about me, and I’d had to come to terms with that. Him showing up on my doorstep, dragging up the past threatened to undo every piece of armour I’d erected to protect myself.
He could never know the other reason I left… to protect him.
Seeing Jerimiah left my mind spinning and remembering how it started.
Past
My worst nightmare had come true. It was my first day at a new school, the first day of grade seven. As I walked down the hall with my belly eating at my other intestines, it felt like everyone was staring at me. Almost as if I was something out of Monster High. Note to self: Poppy, don’t mention Monster High to others. Then they’ll really think you’re an idiot like your brother does. I wouldn’t have cared what people thought that I still collected and liked Monster High, but I didn’t have much going for me in the looks department, so I knew if they ever found out, I’d be an outcast for sure. Right then, I was glad my older brother, Alvin, refused to go to the same school as me. He’d be worse than anyone else in teasing me, just so people would like him more. I was also praying I’d last through the first day without any trouble.
Girls were bitches. Shit, I shouldn’t cuss. My mum hates it when I do. She’d told me a million times over I was a lady and ladies didn’t swear. So I tried real hard not to curse. However, they kept on slipping out. It was Mum’s fault in a way. She was the one who married a man, my dad, who used foul words like it was his own personal language.
Speaking of bitches—oops, another slip—there were three girls standing down the end of the hall looking at me like I’d just peed in their lunch boxes. Great, so I was already on the radar of the ones who I’d usually steer clear of. I could only wish they were checking out the new school meat, meaning me, and leave me alone in the end. I liked to fly under the radar. I was used to it. At my old school, I had one friend, and we stuck to ourselves, which suited us. The bullies eventually left us alone, after growing bored with us.
Would the same go for here?
I wasn’t sure.
But I kept my fingers crossed.
Glancing at the piece of paper in my hand again, I then looked at the lockers beside me and finished walking down to locker 505. The lady at the front desk, with a name I didn’t remember, had said it wouldn’t be hard to find, and she’d been right. The school was big, but thankfully, there were signs stating things along the way.
After adjusting my backpack over my shoulder, I dialled in my combination. I’d just gotten my locker opened when, for some reason, I slid my gaze to the right.
That was when I saw him.
He would have to have been at least a few years older than me, so maybe grade nine, and he stood out more than any other guy.
My body responded at the sight of him. My hands were first… they shook, so I gripped my locker door tightly and held on. Then my legs wobbled, my skin broke out in goosebumps, and I was certain if I could count my pulse, it was beating way faster than it should have been.
All that because he smiled at one of his friends.
I’d admired some guys before, which was normal, but my reaction to him was more.
It sounded silly, even to myself, but he was like one of those rock stars I had posters of on my walls at home. Tall, dark, and messy hair… smooth, tanned, and clear skin, and perfect white teeth. I wondered what colour his eyes were. He was too far down the hall so I couldn’t see them properly. Though, I wanted to.
My body was shoved forward. My head hit the locker’s edge. I cried out, but then bit my bottom lip. I couldn’t let anyone see they affected me.
Turning, I came face-to-face with the three bitches. Huh, figures. I wanted to snort at how cliché they were about to be, because I seriously knew what was coming, a warning of some kind. I slipped my bag to the floor, in case I needed to use my arms in any way. I didn’t make a sound and stared back, crossing my arms over my chest. When none of them said anything, I rose one brow, and that brought me a sneer from the middle girl.
She hissed low, “I don’t like you looking at what’s mine. Keep your eyes down, fugly.”
God, so her play was to warn me away from the guy down the hall. Great, I must have been obvious with my ogling. I had to make sure I never got caught again.
The girl looked about my age, only more pronounced in the boob area. She dressed to show them off also, which told me she was a hussy. Easy. And a guy like the one I’d been gazing at probably took notice of her push-up bra and tarty ways. He was a teen after all, and my dad warned me about guys his age. That they’d only be after one thing and that was to get in your panties.
However, I couldn’t blame her claiming him in that way. He was dream-worthy. Hell, if he was to ever be mine—ha ha!—I may even have had the courage to fight for him, instead of just protecting myself.
“Are you dumb as well as ugly?” a friend of hers asked. “Tell Nicky you get her.”
Pushing my glasses up my nose, I nodded and curled my arms around my stomach.
They all looked me up and down. Then Nicky laughed. “Really, I shouldn’t be worried about you. But I’m sure Jerimiah would hate someone like you even looking at him. So I guess, I’m doing him a favour. If I see your eyes on him again, you’ll be screwed.” With that, she shoved my shoulder hard, and I was knocked back into the lockers again. When she stalked off down the hall heading towards Mr Rock Star, I was brave enough to give her the finger.
Jerimiah saw her coming and used that smile on her. Gag.
It was then I knew he would only be eye candy. No guy who liked girls like Nicky was worth even talking to. I rolled my eyes. It wasn’t like he’d talk to me in the first place. Even on the off chance he did, I had a feeling I wouldn’t want to hear what came out of his mouth anyway.
“Skanks, that’s what they are.” I glanced to my left to find a girl with honey-coloured hair leaning against a locker next to mine. She nodded to the scene down the hall. “Girls who’re pretty, but shallow, are skanks to me.” Her dark blue eyes met mine, and she smirked. “Not that I’d tell them that.”
An unexpected laugh erupted from within me. “No. It’d be better if you didn’t.”
“Exactly. Hi, I’m Manda.” Her hand came out. I took it and shook, an unusual move between girls our age, but I liked it at the same. She seemed nice enough, and she’d called Nicky and her friends skanks, which meant a lot because it meant she was smart, like me.
“I’m Poppy. It’s nice to know all girls here aren’t like them.” I quickly picked up my bag and placed it in my locker after I got my first book out before turning back with my schedule.
“There are only a few who aren’t. Don’t worry, I’ll help you along the way.” She glanced down to the paper in my hand with my classes printe
d on it. “What class are you in?”
Pushing up my glasses again, I reread it and said, “Seven A. You?”
“Same.” She grinned, and I returned it. “Sit with me?”
“I’d like that.”
“But first we have to go to the all-school assembly.”
Groan. I hated assemblies. Too many idiots in one room.
Manda entered the gymnasium first. I took in what she was wearing to see if I would be out of place since the school didn’t have a uniform policy. Manda was dressed in jeans and a red tee, which looked great with her hair. I was glad I’d picked jeans and tee too, though my T-Shirt was a black vintage KISS one.
Jutting my bottom lip forward, I blew my red frizzy hair out of my face and slowly followed Manda. Well, it would have been slow if other students weren’t pushing their way in around me and knocking me about.
Manda waited at the back row of seats. Each row dipped lower until it flattened out at the bottom for the basketball court. On the court was a movable podium and standing on it was the principal, whom I’d met when my dad and I looked around the school. With him were four other teachers, all sat in seats behind the main guy standing at a microphone.
“Come on, the seats are filling up,” Manda said.
My heart raced in my chest. There were so many students. I was new, so they’d stare, and I hated the thought of it.
Manda had already descended some steps. With my head down, I quickly moved to follow. I didn’t want to lose sight of her and have to sit by someone I didn’t know. Not that I really knew Manda either, but she’d been nice so far.
My new friend stopped about halfway down, and in my scurry to keep up, I didn’t see the foot come out. I tripped, arms out. I headed for the stairs knowing I was going to break something. My heart in my throat, knowing I wouldn’t stop at just the fall but roll down the rest and injure myself even more.
That was until an arm came around my waist and I was spun back to my feet.
“Nicky, don’t be a bitch” was growled over my head.
If my heart wasn’t already beating fast, it would have been then. The voice was rough and deep.
“I didn’t do anything, Jerimiah.”
Jerimiah.
Shit.
Nicky’d said the name of the rock god I’d been staring at earlier and it’d been Jerimiah.
Crap, I was currently in the arms of Jerimiah.
If my nerves weren’t eating at me, I would have looked up, maybe smiled and thanked him for his rescue, while commenting on his strong arms with a giggle. But I was a rattled nutcase being so close to him and nearly falling on my face in front of everyone in the first place. All because of his girlfriend.
Instead, I stepped back. His arm fell from around my waist, making me regret my move. Did he really need his firm, warm arm? I could have kept it there all day long if I just cut it off him.
God, what was I thinking?
Flicking my gaze up for a second, I gasped, then coughed on the air when I saw his dark eyes were already on me, and I quickly looked away. “Thanks,” I mumbled, then turned and bolted for the spare seat next to Manda.
She was staring at me with her mouth wide as I plonked down and sank deeper into the seat. My cheeks would match a fire-engine red, or my hair, and the whispers around me weren’t helping my blush settle at all. However, even through the volume of everyone already gossiping, I still heard Nicky’s snappy tone and Jerimiah’s deep one barking back.
“That was epic,” Manda whispered.
How was it epic? I didn’t understand. All I knew was that I was the centre of attention and I didn’t like it at all.
“Don’t you think?” she pressed.
“Um, how was it epic? I nearly face-planted on the floor in front of everyone on my first day of school. Nothing epic about my embarrassment.”
She giggled and leaned in more. “You don’t get it. Jerimiah is like a movie star around here. Even the older popular guys want to be like him. Having him save you and calling Nicky out on it was epic. It’ll be talked about for years to come.”
Oh shit.
My belly twisted. The small breakfast I’d had threatened to make an appearance. That was all I needed, to vomit in front of everyone. I wanted to crawl under my chair and stay there until people stopped talking about it, about me.
I also wanted to glance over my shoulder, since I knew he was close, and take my fill. He was taller up close. The top of my head had only reached his collarbone. He was broader as well and built like a footballer.
Of course, the attraction I had for him amped up…. I could even say I fell for him a little then. Only I knew liking him as much as I did, without even really knowing him, was going to bring me nothing but trouble… or heartache.
Chapter Three
Fang
Present
Charlie ushered me further into the house and then followed me inside, closing the door behind him. “Will your guys be all right out there?”
“Yeah, they’re good.”
He nodded, and then made his way further into the living room. I followed. Once he’d sat in the worn armchair, I took a seat on their couch to his left. Charlie leaned back, ran a hand over his face and sighed.
“Fuck, Fang. Fuck.” He shook his head, sadness in his eyes.
“Talk to me.”
“Not that it ain’t good to see you, son. But why are you here? My girl said you’ve been too busy to come around here anymore.”
My nostrils flared as I clenched my jaw. “We’ll get to that in a second. First, need to know what’s goin’ on around here, Charlie.”
He nodded, clasping his hands over his gut. “It’s my Mary.” Shit. Poppy’s mum. “She ain’t doin’ well, son. Got dementia. Had it for a while. We didn’t know. It’s gotten worse, and she’s in care and… fuck, she forgets to eat and drink. She doesn’t trust people, or forgets who they are sometimes. Even us.”
Jesus Christ.
Mary had been the glue to the family, such a warm, loving person.
“Charlie, I… shit, I don’t know what to say.”
He looked to the hall towards the bedrooms. “Poppy ain’t been handling it. Cuts her deep every time she visits her mum, especially when Mary doesn’t remember her. Hell, none of us have been dealing well. Poppy came home a while back to help out a little.”
Shifting, I leaned forward, my elbows on my knees. “Why didn’t you tell me, Charlie?”
He winced. “Poppy asked me not to. Don’t know what went on with you two, but—”
My hand shot up. “Mixed messages we need to sort out.”
His brows rose. “So you gonna stick around? For her?”
Leaning back, I grunted. “She couldn’t get rid of me even if she tried.” Not now. No way in fuck now.
“Good to hear, son. Good to hear.”
I’d been stupid to fight what I’d felt for her back in the day. So goddamn stupid. Yeah, we’d been young back then, but I could’ve made it work. Fuckin’ wished I’d have admitted my feelings aloud. Risked it. If she’d felt the same way, things would’ve been different. She wouldn’t have left. At least I didn’t think she would have.
We’d been close as friends, but I only ever thought that was how she’d seen me. As her friend. A better brother to the one she’d had.
Back then, I’d also been scared to have Poppy around my dad. He’d been into young girls, and I used to see the way he looked at my girl. My Poppy. So if he saw I was interested in her in more ways than just friends, he would have made a play for her. Fucking sick motherfucking cunt.
Then she’d left and wouldn’t return my texts or calls. It’d gutted me. Then I’d got pissed at her cutting me out like she had. However, after some time, I thought it’d been for the best to have her outta my life and away from under his eyes. It�
�d hurt not hearing from her, though, but it was safer.
Safer until I got out from under him, which I finally was. He disappeared after shit went down with Hawks. But back then, I’d met Nary, and she’d been a welcome distraction. Nary was so much like Poppy in some ways, being shy and sweet. Didn’t realise my feelings for Nary would grow so fast, but they had. Hell, I never thought I’d get over losing Nary. That was until I saw my Poppy again and my body, mind, and heart knew Poppy had never been forgotten.
All I had to do was fight for her, to show her I was meant to be in her life. I just fuckin’ prayed I hadn’t left it too long. She needed me more than ever with what she was going through, so I’d make sure I’d be there in any way I could.
“So, how’s Alvin goin’ with the Hawks?” Charlie asked, breaking through my thoughts.
Fuck.
I didn’t feel like shitting all over his already upsetting situation, so I said, “Fine.”
I forgot Charlie could read me. “What did the little prick do now?”
“Charlie—”
“No, Fang. You tell me.”
Rubbing a hand on the back of my neck, I nodded. “He’s still doin’ drugs and said somethin’ foul to a brother. They’re probably teachin’ him a lesson right about now for it.”
Charlie gave me a chin lift, his eyes dark. “Never should’a asked you to take him under your wing. He was messed up before Mary went into care and then became more so when we had to admit her. He’s never been a good nut, but I still held out hope. Gotta hope for your own kids, right?”
“Yeah, Charlie.”
“Christ. Mary’d hate Alvin for this. Fuckin’ up a good chance like you gave him, and all because I’d asked. Sorry, Fang.”
“All good. Nothin’ on your back, Charlie.”
“He’s my flesh and blood, son.”
“He may be, but he didn’t learn, listen, or take on anythin’ you tried with him. That ain’t your fault. It’s his and his alone. You think I’ll be like my dad one day?”
“Fuck no,” he snarled. Yeah, he’d known my father since he’d joined Venom when my dad was the prez of the club.
