I brought my mouth down over the other, feeling her chest swell with a sharp intake of breath as I greedily sucked her through the lace.
“Please.” The word pierced the silence. “Please.”
With a low growl, I released her long enough to tug the cups down, letting her breasts spill over into my palms. She lost her grip on the dress when my teeth connected with the sensitive flesh, shuddering violently in my arms.
It wasn’t enough. I needed Ari naked, bracing herself on the driver’s seat as I filled her body from behind. I wanted her hoarse screams of pleasure to alert the entire fucking parking lot that she was mine.
Ari pulled the dress over her head and tightened her thighs around mine. When she rocked against my erection, the last bit of air was forced from my lungs.
While one hand moved up the inside of her thigh, I used the other to massage her breasts. She jerked when my knuckles brushed over the front of her lace panties before instinctively pushing back against me.
My fingers slipped beneath the band and stroked along the soft curls until Ari’s groans turned to incoherent mumbles. We weren’t having sex—not tonight—but it didn’t mean I couldn’t alleviate her ache.
“You want me to touch you here?” I whispered, pushing the curtain of red hair off her face with my free hand until I could see her beautiful green eyes.
Her lips parted with a sigh, and she nodded drowsily, caught up in a haze of lust. I dragged my middle finger through her folds, loving the way her breath caught when I paused to lick her moisture from my skin. “You taste so fucking good.”
The words of praise were accepted with a small nod. I didn’t need the light to know that Ari was blushing. Her wide eyes gave it away.
I stroked her again. She lifted her hips, trying to direct my speed. When my finger was completely coated in her arousal, I slid it into her body, her inner muscles tightening around me like a vice.
Ari bit down on her lower lip with a whimpered moan and clawed at my shoulders in desperation as I established a rhythm.
I was no longer aware that I was being slowly strangled to death by denim. My entire focus had shifted to finding a way to make her feel good.
So good, she never wanted to leave me.
“Killian, more—I—I need—” Ari threw her head back as I increased my pace, circling her clit with the pad of my thumb. Her breasts bounced with each thrust of my wrist, and I lowered my mouth onto one. She came almost instantly, her body tightening and pulsing around my finger.
Ari squeezed my face against her body, muffling the sounds of her release. Her heart was like a drum, beating a frantic message against my cheek.
Mine. Mine. Mine.
She went lax in my arms, burying her face against the crook of my neck with a contented sigh. I freed my hand from between her legs, overwhelmed by a sudden, unexplainable need to protect her.
My arms came up to circle her back, gripping her hair in my fists. But the furious beating in my own chest didn’t slow as it screamed the truth. I’d put Ari’s needs above my own, giving up my pleasure for hers.
I thought I’d wanted to possess her, claiming her as mine in front of all the world. It was more than that. Tonight, she’d torn down walls and let me inside her world. I wanted to shield her, sacrificing myself if it meant keeping her safe. Baseball might have been my passion, but she was becoming my life—I felt it in my bones.
Because I—I loved Ari.
And with that, I knew where I wanted to take her next.
21
Killian
“A ballpark at night is more like a church than a church.”
-W. P. Kinsella, Shoeless Joe
I hadn’t slept soundly in a week.
Without the heat on, the cab of my truck had eventually grown cold, leaving my knee stiff and achy. I’d been forced to wake a half-naked Ari, trailing kisses over the skin beneath her collarbone until she sat up with a sleepy grin.
That had only led to more kissing and touching before I managed to convince her—and myself—that she did indeed want to put her dress on before going back to True North.
I’d arrived back at my condo just after midnight, too keyed up to sleep. After tossing and turning for a couple of hours, I’d called Bailey to lay out my plan. He’d been half-asleep and not entirely sober at the time, so I’d ended up repeating the entire thing over a late lunch the following day.
The rest of the week had been filled with physical therapy appointments, radio interviews to discuss my contract, and a meeting with the Hurricanes’ GM to make my plan a reality. Every night, I fell into bed exhausted, but wired, as I imagined how Ari was going to react to my surprise.
Incidentally, it was also when I discovered it was possible to miss someone so fiercely that it made your chest flare with pain.
A man in love did not do well on his own.
I needed to see her more than once a week—to hear her voice at the end of the day when I got home. Anything to alleviate the near-constant heartburn I’d been experiencing.
Hopefully, in just a few short minutes, all of the sleepless nights and feelings of reflux were going to be worth it.
The light ahead changed from yellow to red. I slowed to a stop, before cutting my eyes over to the passenger seat, where someone was fidgeting with her blindfold.
I lifted an eyebrow in question. “What are you doing over there, girl?”
“You stopped,” Ari protested, one side of her mouth quirking up. “That means we’re there, right?”
“So impatient.” My hand moved to caress her thigh, and she jerked away with a startled gasp.
“Gah, Killian! Warn me before you do that. I can’t see anything, remember?”
I clicked my tongue against my teeth with a low chuckle, finding her stern expression cute. “What—did you think someone else was touching you?”
“No, but I could have hurt you just now—so badly.”
“Really? I think I’d enjoy the hell out of that.” I smirked as a red flush crept up her throat and flipped on my signal before turning into the lot.
Ari’s hands immediately went to the blindfold. “Are we here?”
“Almost.” I pulled up to my reserved spot and shifted the truck into park. “But don’t take it off yet.”
She exhaled an impatient sigh and dropped her trembling hands back to her lap. I studied them with a frown, before leaning across the console.
“It’s not a bad surprise,” I murmured as I brushed my fingers over her neck, watching as the pulse jumped in her throat. “I promise.”
“Okay, can I take the blindfold off now?” she asked, sounding slightly defensive.
“No.” With that, I got out and made my way around to her side. Overhead, the sky was gray and gloomy, and the forecast was calling for heavy rain within the next few hours. The air felt different, charged with something. Then again, it might have just been all the caffeine and nervous energy running through my veins.
The impending wave of storms had forced me to tweak my plan at the last minute, but I wasn’t going to let it ruin my evening.
Ari looped an arm around my waist when I helped her down, clinging to my side as I led her across the parking lot. Maybe the weather didn’t scream romance, but I had no doubt we’d make our own.
Pete, one of the security guys, let us inside and gave me a thumbs-up before disappearing back into his office. Then, it was just the two of us.
I cleared my throat and took a deep breath to calm my nerves before removing her blindfold. “Okay, we’re here.”
“Killian,” Ari breathed in awe, spinning a small circle as she took in the metal and glass that made up the stadium. “This is—this is amazing!”
“Well, this is only the entrance,” I said with a laugh, before tugging her hand. “Come on. I’ve got something I want to show you.”
After scanning my badge, we took the elevator down to the clubhouse. Ari lagged behind from the moment we stepped off into the hallway—slowing in f
ront of a sign for the laundry room, before coming to a complete standstill when we reached the Wall of Honor.
Her fingers moved over the plaques, lips moving silently as she read the names of players whose jerseys had been retired and the achievements earned by both individual players and the team as a whole.
I pushed on, dragging her along like a kid at a school open house, eager to unveil my plan. The details were crucial as I’d prepared a speech to coincide with each location. Step one was the locker room where I’d reveal the details behind the day I’d been called up. Step two would take place down on the field.
Shit, I think the field was supposed to be step one.
“Wait.” Ari pulled her hand from my grasp. “Just wait a minute. I wasn’t done with that.”
I nodded distractedly and continued moving forward. Clearly, I should have used my sudden insomnia to prepare notecards in case I panicked and forgot everything.
“Okay, so I take it you’re just going to keep going?”
My heart was racing as I tried straightening out the plan in my head. Maybe she wouldn’t notice if we turned back and moved to the field. When we got there, I’d tell her—well, it’d probably come to me.
“Killian?” I turned to see find that Ari was still at the Wall of Honor, brows furrowed in confusion and fidgeting with her necklace.
“Come on, slugger. Thought with two good knees, you’d be able to keep up.”
She shook her head and planted her feet shoulder-width apart, prepared to stand her ground. “No. You come here.”
Locker room… field… stands?
No, that last one definitely wasn’t right.
“I will—just as soon as we see this one thing,” I coaxed. When Ari didn’t budge, I sighed and returned to where she stood. “What’s wrong?”
“This is your name, Killian. Right here.” She pointed to the American League MVP plaque from last season. “And here—you were the Hurricanes MVP in 2017.”
Her fingers moved delicately over the red stitching on the baseball I’d signed after winning an award that hadn’t meant anything to me at the time. I lifted my eyes back to hers. “And?”
She shook her head, reaching up to squeeze my bicep. “Maybe to you this is nothing special, but it’s my first time in your world, Killian. Can I just have a minute to soak it all in and celebrate your victories?”
Damn, had she written hers down on notecards?
“I—” I swallowed. The script in my head had vanished somewhere in the parking lot, so I spoke the words on my heart. “I hate karaoke.”
The organ in my chest was a terrible speechwriter, something I realized right about the time Ari’s hand slipped from my arm and fell back to her side.
“No—wait! Let me start over. I mean, I hate karaoke—”
Ari crossed her arms over her chest with a terse nod. “Yeah, you mentioned that already.”
“I do,” I admitted with a wince. “Shit—what I’m trying to say is that I’ve never really enjoyed witnessing drunk people mumble or squeal their way through a song. But getting to watch you do something you love was a priceless moment that I’ll keep with me forever. I saw you come alive up on that stage, slugger, showing me a side of you I didn’t even know existed. And I wanted to return the favor by bringing you to where I feel most alive.”
Her lips curved up in an almost reluctant smile as she reached for my hand. “Baseball is your church, just like music is mine. You wouldn’t go tearing through Westminster Abbey or St. Peter’s, because holy places deserve respect. And this, Killian? This is a holy place for you.”
I nodded once, before taking a minute to regroup. Ari was right—she was always right. I could drag her all over the stadium while rattling off my biography, but she wouldn’t know me.
“When I was fourteen, I took the baseball from my very first little-league game and made these.” I released her hand to roll my shirt sleeve up. Her attention snagged on my ink before lowering to the two bracelets I wore every single day.
“You made these?”
I took a deep breath and nodded, my voice rough as I admitted, “I made two, thinking I’d give the other to someone special, but there hasn’t been anyone… until you.”
The old Killian would have been cringing at the display of vulnerability, but I didn’t care. I never stopped thinking about Ari, and if I had to make a fool out of myself to convey my feelings, I’d wear the cap and bells with honor.
Her hands came up to cover her mouth as I unknotted one of them from my wrist. I grinned before extending my palm. “Will you wear it for me?”
It sounded like a proposal, and maybe in a way, it was. A reminder that no matter what was going on with her family, she was free to be herself when she was with me. A promise of the life we were going to build together once she was out of rehab.
Ari’s chin wobbled, but she managed a small nod and let me tie it around her wrist. I gathered her in my arms but held my desire back for the moment. There was still something left unsaid and only one place in the ballpark that mattered—one place that hadn’t made the list.
“Can I show you something?” I whispered into her hair. “I promise, after, we’ll go anywhere you want.”
She pulled back, gazing up at me with a weary smile. “Okay.”
We left the clubhouse, passing through the dugout before reaching the field. I’d wanted the dome open so we could see the stars, but with what I was about to do, it almost seemed right to shut the world out.
The park was completely silent. With the rafters overhead and the lights blazing down on us, it almost felt like we were entering a cathedral. Even the wall of windows set back behind left field let in just enough city light to resemble stained glass.
This time, when Ari slowed, I stepped back and tried seeing it through her eyes. I thought back to the twenty-year-old kid who felt like he’d been handed the world, wondering when I’d started taking it for granted.
When had it become just another day at the office?
“What was it you wanted to show me?” Ari asked, coming back to stand at my side. She hadn’t gone starry-eyed over the architecture or wandered off to explore on her own. It was like she understood what this space meant to me and was giving it the quiet reverence it deserved.
There was something sacred within these chalk lines. I wrapped an arm around Ari’s shoulders and led her over to stand on first base, clearing my throat against the sudden tightness. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes—most of them tied to this field in some way.”
Ari nodded and pressed her lips together like maybe she was fighting back her own emotions.
“I’m not a saint—far from it actually. The decisions I made off-field hurt a lot of people. While it’d be easy to sweep it all under the rug, you deserve to know the truth.”
Confessing my sins had never been part of my plan, and revealing it all now seemed incredibly stupid, but she deserved to hear it from me and not a tabloid.
“You can tell me,” Ari said softly, placing her hands over mine to steady them.
I took a deep breath. “I slept with a couple of my teammate’s wives—not intentionally—but it doesn’t change the fact that it happened. The last one was over a year ago, which is why I haven’t been with anyone since—”
Her lips parted in surprise, but I kept going, needing to purge the memories from my system. “You said I don’t trust people, but it’s me, Ari—I’m the one I don’t trust. My injury happened because I made the wrong call—”
“Killian.” Tears shimmered in her eyes. “You made a mistake, but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.”
I shook my head as she repeated the same advice I’d given her after the Helen debacle. “You don’t understand. I’ve let the fear of getting hurt hold me back. If I didn’t excel at it immediately, I walked away. I shut myself off from my dad because I was convinced he’d just let me down again. I thought it was better to live like a monk than to let a woman have any power over my life and
career. I even hung onto the damn crutches for longer than they recommended because I was afraid of doing something to damage my knee.”
Ari’s fingers tightened over mine. “My demons aren’t the same, but I know what it’s like to be afraid—and it’s no way to live.”
“Thanks to some people in my life, I’m slowly figuring that out. I brought you here because I wanted you to see me. When the game’s over, and the lights are shut out, I want to know I’m going home to you. If I’ve had a few too many, you’re the one I want driving me. If all this goes away tomorrow, I know I could face it with you in my corner.”
With the exception of a tear that had spilled over onto her lashes, Ari was a tower of strength, refusing to release her hold on me.
My nostrils flared on a forced exhale, and I nodded down at first base. “You’re standing in the exact spot where I thought I lost it all, but it was where I found everything I needed. This was the place that gave me you, Ari. I know I’m not the best, but what I lack in talent, I will make up for in heart. It’s yours—all of it.”
She hiccuped through another sob before mashing her lips together with a jerky nod. I pulled my hand free, using the pad of my thumb to brush away her tears.
“For most of my life, there have been constant reminders that I’ll never measure up. But I’ve learned there is one thing strong enough to drive out that kind of fear and doubt.”
“What’s that?” Her tone was gentle as if she couldn’t fathom what I was going to say next.
“I’m in love with you, Ari,” I admitted softly. “And loving you has silenced everything else, making me think that maybe I could be the man you deserve. You were the first woman who didn’t want something from me—the only one who saw me and not the player—”
“I need—” Ari made a choking sound, and then more tears were streaking down her cheeks. “I need—to tell you something.”
22
Ariana
Through The Water: Fairest Series Book Two Page 27
