“Like this?” His hands slid up to caress my calf.
“Higher,” I squeaked, closing my eyes against the flush creeping up my throat.
His fingers brushed the inside of my knee. I scooted forward, urging him closer. He didn’t move and I blinked to find him staring down at me as if he’d never seen me before.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No,” Killian said softly as he slipped his shirt over his head and lay back against the pillows. “Come here.”
I gathered the robe in my fists and lowered myself over the crotch of his jeans, whispering, “Like this?”
He shook his head with a rough exhale. “Higher.”
I shifted my hips forward until his naval was resting between my legs before cocking an eyebrow in question. His teeth sank into his bottom lip as he fought a smile, crooking a finger.
I fumbled with the belt on the robe before letting it fall from my shoulders, baring myself to him. Killian groaned a curse as he took in the sight of me, and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of power. I’d done that to him.
“Grip the headboard, baby,” he growled.
I braced myself against the dark gray upholstery, arched over him shamelessly. Goosebumps spread across my skin, tightening my nipples into hardened points. With anyone else, the position would have left me feeling vulnerable or submissive.
But I wasn’t afraid to be on my knees for him.
Keeping his eyes on mine, he trailed his hands down my spine and cupped my bottom. And then, as if needing to prove his muscles weren’t just for show, he easily lifted me up and onto his face. The short bristles of his stubble scraped against my sensitive flesh, and I pressed my lips together, fighting back a moan.
Killian lifted his head with a smirk and hooked his arms around my thighs, spreading me wide open. My hips jerked as he exhaled a breathless chuckle against my core, before tightening his grip and pulling me back down. “I’ve been dying to taste you properly.”
A wave of heat crept up my throat when I realized what he was referring to, and then his mouth was there. He kissed me again, higher this time, and my broken fingernails dug into the headboard, holding on for dear life. He guided my body up and down, nipping and sucking my flesh until I was disoriented and dazed with lust.
“W-what are you doing to me?” I panted, dropping my forehead to my arms. It was similar to the way he’d made me feel in the shower, but different, almost like the alcohol had heightened my senses.
But it wasn’t the alcohol. It was him, bringing me back to life.
“Worshiping your body, baby,” Killian murmured, kissing the inside of my thigh. “Proving you’re not broken.”
I let out a guttural groan as he pulled me back down, spreading my folds and stroking my center with the flat of his tongue. The ache inside me intensified as he feasted on my flesh with low grunts of approval.
The added stimulation of his mouth had my inner muscles clenching and tightening greedily as I rocked forward to meet him.
“You taste like the ocean,” he pulled back to whisper, his wild eyes searching my face.
“Killian,” I moaned, my body bathed in sweat. What I needed was just within reach, but I didn’t know how to get there.
“I’ve got you,” he said, releasing my leg and lowering his thumb to my center. “Let me take care of you.”
I lost myself in the rhythm of his movements, every nerve ending firing as he circled the tight bud. It was almost too much, and I squirmed, chasing my release like my next breath.
“Please. Please.”
Killian’s tongue thrust up inside my body, stroking my taut muscles. I bore down on him with a muffled scream as he coaxed the orgasm from me.
I gasped his name like a prayer when his tongue flicked in and out of me, prolonging my state of rapture. We were back in the lake—only this time, I was the wave, and he was the shore. I crested and fell over him, again and again, until it felt like nothing existed outside of us.
We were only supposed to stay in the hotel until everyone had been taken into custody. As my lower body twitched with aftershocks of pleasure, I decided I was never leaving. I was going to live in this bed forever.
Killian lifted me up and back onto the bed before standing. I slipped the robe around my shoulders like a cape and gave him a drowsy smile, only to be met with a distant expression.
Without saying a word, he walked over to sit in an armchair near the windows, watching me with a strangely intense expression.
My skin was still buzzing from his mouth, making coherent speech impossible.
His eyes went hooded as they moved down my body, but he shook his head and ran a hand roughly over his face, clearly trying to mask his emotions.
To hide.
A blush rose up my neck. I swallowed, wondering if perhaps I’d done it wrong. The church-funded health class hadn’t exactly covered a man kissing a woman there.
Believe me, I would have remembered that.
“Do you want to come back to bed?” I finally asked, my voice uneven. My nerves were frayed. I felt I was dangerously close to another crying spell, but refrained, awaiting his answer.
“I can’t.”
“Why?” I pushed up onto my knees, facing him with a sigh. “Look, that was a first for me. If you don’t tell me what I’m doing wrong, I can’t fix my mistakes. I can’t be better for you.”
The muscle in his jaw tightened. “You think you did it wrong? Christ, Ari. You are so fucking perfect when you come apart. It’s taking everything in me not to come over there and fuck you until you’re screaming the entire goddamn hotel down.”
Killian’s words conjured up a variety of erotic images. I shivered, painfully aroused by the thought of him performing any number of them. “Is it because you don’t have a condom?”
His deep voice was laced with regret as he quietly admitted, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
There was a war raging behind those eyes, a hesitancy that left me more than a little confused. The church believed men were created to take and women to endure. Killian had given me pleasure but gotten nothing in return.
“You’re afraid because I’m a virgin.” I wanted him to have me. Given what little knowledge I possessed on lovemaking, it wouldn’t necessarily be pleasurable for me, but I was willing to endure any pain if it made him feel good.
“What?”
His glacial eyes snapped back to mine. “But the bruises—I thought he—”
I resisted the urge to bow my head because I was no longer that girl. I’d taken down one monster armed only with a lie and another, armed only with the truth. Maybe bravery had never been about making myself unafraid, but in standing up to evil with empty hands and a wounded body.
“No. You gave me the courage to fight back, Killian.” My heart pounded as I studied his dark expression, trying to read his thoughts. “You—it was always meant to be you.”
He got up and moved to stand at the side of the bed, looking almost guilty. “Before I go any further, I want you to know that tonight was about you, and I wasn’t planning on this, okay?”
My eyebrow shot up. “Um, okay?”
He produced several foil packets from his back pocket, his voice suddenly strangled as he admitted, “I had Dean get me condoms when he was picking up food, but I swear, I didn’t plan on any of this happening tonight. I just wanted to be prepared.”
I crawled forward and pressed my lips to the corner of his mouth before shrugging the robe off again. His gaze dropped between us, leaving my body humming in anticipation.
“Make love to me, Killian,” I murmured, shivering as his fingers skimmed over my breasts and belly, carefully avoiding the bruises along my torso.
“Come here, girl.” He lowered his mouth over mine. His large hands pulled my hips flush to him, kneading the flesh of my bottom.
I raked my fingers through his dark hair, surrendering to his touch and tasting myself on his tongue. He sucked my upper lip between his teet
h as he lowered me onto the bed.
My nipples rubbed against his chest, the friction sending jolts of pleasure to my core. When he pulled back to remove his jeans, I made a mewling sound of protest, already reaching for him again.
“Patience,” he demanded, his voice rough.
I pushed up onto my elbows, watching him unashamedly stroke himself before tearing the foil square with his teeth. He rolled the condom down his thick length, his hungry gaze never once leaving mine.
He would forever be the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
Killian pulled me to the side of the bed and spread my legs before curling a finger through my folds. He dipped in and out of me until I was rocking against him with broken exhales.
“This isn’t something I take lightly. It’s everything—you are everything,” he whispered, staring into my eyes. “Forever, Ari.”
I nodded, blinking back the tears.
He spread my wetness along his crown, before lowering his mouth to my breasts, teasing and pulling me against his tongue to the point of coming undone.
When he braced himself on his forearms over me, I tensed involuntarily, fully aware of the erection pressing against my thigh.
I’d known he was massive in the shower, but the close proximity was a reminder that he would have to stretch my body to fit his.
“Relax, baby,” Killian murmured, kissing my chin. “Just focus on my face, okay?”
I nodded and took a deep breath, willing my tight muscles to obey. He spread my legs and guided himself forward. The blunt tip pushed past my swollen lips to nudge against my entrance. His blue eyes blazed with desire as he eased his way into me. There was a sharp burn, followed by an uncomfortable fullness.
“It’s too much,” I winced, bracing my hands on his chest. “Too much—how could anyone ever want to do this more than once?”
“Fuck, Ari,” Killian ground out through a clenched jaw, his nostrils flaring. “Just give me a minute, and I’ll show you. I’m a little out of practice.”
I made the colossal mistake of lifting my head to see where our bodies joined together, only to realize he wasn’t even close to being all the way inside me.
My thighs quivered as his lips moved to my ear and then down my jaw, silently willing me to relax. I lay back and clutched his shoulders against the dull ache radiating through my core.
“I’ve got you.” Killian shifted his weight onto his right arm with a low groan and reached between us with his left, stroking my sensitive flesh until the pain became something different. Even now, his focus was entirely on me and what I needed.
Under his skilled touch, my body liquefied, accepting a little more. I hissed a sharp breath and locked my arms behind his neck as he pushed forward, needing him to move.
He was so deep.
Some primitive instinct had my hips jerking reflexively, making my eyes roll back in my head. I didn’t know if the accompanying twinge in my core was good or bad, but I wanted to do it again.
“For the love of God, don’t move,” he groaned against my lips, sweat beading on his forehead from the strain of holding himself still. “I’m trying not to come.”
I tried, but it was as if my body was no longer under my control. My lower belly tightened as I rocked forward, the feeling different compared to Killian’s fingers or mouth, but not unwelcome.
So, I did it again.
And again.
“I need…”
“Fuck—what do you need, slugger?” Killian asked, nipping at my lower lip, his eyes unfocused with lust. “This?”
With one thrust, he filled me entirely. I sucked in a ragged breath, my back arching off the bed toward his warm chest. He pulled back until I was almost empty before driving into me again, somehow deeper than before. I ground my hips against his, desperate to hold on against the rush of lightheadedness.
The push and pull between us increased along with the sensation that the room was spinning. I choked back a sob and tightened my fists in his hair as my inner muscles clamped down around him, pulsing and quivering. If that was an orgasm, I didn’t know what the hell I’d been doing before.
Killian’s thrusts turned erratic. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled his mouth down over mine in a sloppy kiss. His body went rigid as he came, before collapsing against my chest, showering me in praise.
I cradled his cheek against my breasts, the sounds of our heavy breathing filling the air. We held each other like that for several minutes before he pulled out and padded into the bathroom.
He hadn’t hurt me—at least, not like I’d expected. I clenched my thighs. There was soreness, but also something else.
Satisfaction.
The bed dipped as he returned, and his strong arms latched around my languid body, pulling me up to his side. I settled in against the crook of his arm and began smoothing his chest hair with my fingertips.
“Can we do that again?” I whispered, tipping my face up to his with a sly grin.
He exhaled a breathless laugh and planted a kiss on my forehead. “Jesus, girl. Give me a minute here. I’m still trying to recover.”
“Was it okay for you? I mean, did you, um, did you enjoy yourself?” I whispered, feeling the flush of heat creeping up my throat.
He tilted his head down to stare at me, letting his fingers trace lightly up and down my spine. “Are you serious? Baby, when are you gonna learn that there’s not a single part of me that doesn’t crave you?”
I didn’t speak. I just watched the city lights shimmering in his blue eyes until my body gave in to exhaustion, knowing as I drifted off that I’d been staring into my future.
30
Killian
“What would he say to her, if he was going to speak truly? He didn’t know. Talking was like throwing a baseball. You couldn’t plan it out beforehand. You just had to let go and see what happened. You had to throw out words you knew no one would catch. You had to send your words out where they weren’t yours anymore. It felt better to talk with a ball in your hand, it felt better to let the ball do the talking. But the world, the non baseball world, the world of love and sex and jobs and friends, was made of words.”
-Chad Harbach, The Art of Fielding
“Drink this.” My father handed me a bottle of water before sitting down beside me on the stiff leather sofa. I’d spent the better part of the afternoon wondering why the FBI hadn’t sprung for more comfortable furniture. Given what they must have dropped on the lavish hotel suite, surely, they could have afforded it.
“Thanks,” I muttered as I unscrewed the lid and took a sip. One of the elevators chimed. I glanced over, only to see more men in dark suits. They were starting to look identical.
An evergreen garland with red bows was draped across the archway of the federal building, while brightly lit trees surrounded us in the lobby, giving off a soft golden glow. Everywhere I turned, there were reminders of the upcoming holidays, but I wasn’t feeling the Christmas spirit.
Maybe it was because we’d been here every day for the past week. Since the arrests, they’d been interviewing Ari extensively, compiling evidence to build their case against her father.
Or perhaps my lack of seasonal cheer had more to do with the fact that our faces were being broadcast on every goddamned television in the building.
Even the sports networks had gotten in on the action, covering the dropped charges against me and interviewing legal experts on whether or not I had a case to sue for defamation.
I didn’t really see the point as I wasn’t hurting for cash, and the Hurricane’s front office had released an official statement after my exoneration, claiming they stood behind me. Besides, a lawsuit was a drop in the bucket compared to the laundry list of charges Tristan was facing. He was going to be spending the rest of his life locked up. Maybe if God answered his prayers, Brad could be his cellmate.
That wasn’t to say I hadn’t considered going after the cult leaders, but my way didn’t involve lawyers. All I needed was
a baseball bat and a soundproof room.
Not for me, but her.
They’d abused Ari for years. I had no qualms breaking their bodies apart for it.
I moved to the edge of the leather sofa and cracked my knuckles, unable to sit through more non-stop coverage of the famous pastor’s fall from grace. Because they weren’t flooding the screens with that bastard’s face.
It was my girlfriend’s body—photographed from a million different angles at the press conference. Late-night talk show hosts had wasted no time in using the images as comedic material. One had spent over five minutes discussing Ari’s lingerie choices and a possible future career in modeling, while another had photoshopped a badge on her bra strap and captioned it: Eagle Lake Church: SVU.
The tabloids had run an image of Tristan approaching her from behind with the headline, Preacher’s Kids Gone Wild.
As if she was a joke.
A punchline.
The rage brewing inside me was close to bubbling over. I’d thought that discovering Ari’s bruises and knowing I hadn’t been there to stop it was the most helpless feeling in the world. But it was this. Watching them eviscerate her, instead of focusing on the man responsible for destroying countless lives.
“How are you holding up?”
I tilted my head toward my father. It was a relief to not have to fake a smile or put on an act. “I’m miserable. I just want it to be over so we can move on with our lives.”
He gestured toward the televisions with a heavy sigh. “They’ve made Ari their scapegoat, and with your name attached to hers, it’s only going to get worse.”
“I don’t give a flying fuck if they run a hundred stories about me.” I clenched my jaw, trying to muster the will power to keep it together. “I’m not leaving her to do this on her own.”
“Despite what Theo thinks, you’re right where you need to be.” My father picked at the cuff of his shirt before meeting my eyes. “It’s just—Christ—have you been online lately, Killian? These so-called followers are some real wack jobs.”
Through The Water: Fairest Series Book Two Page 36
