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The Collected Poems of Lucille Clifton 1965-2010

Page 15

by Lucille Clifton


  toward africa toward the house

  he might have lived in might have

  owned or saved had he not turned

  away

  move

  the helicopter rose at the command

  higher at first then hesitating

  then turning toward the center

  of its own town only a neighborhood

  away

  move

  she cried as the child stood

  hesitant in the last clear sky

  he would ever see the last

  before the whirling blades the whirling smoke

  and sharp debris carried all clarity

  away

  move

  if you live in a mind

  that would destroy itself

  to comfort itself

  if you would stand fire

  rather than difference

  do not hesitate

  move

  away

  samson predicts from gaza the philadelphia fire

  for ramona africa, survivor

  it will be your hair

  ramona africa

  they will come for you

  they will bring fire

  they will empty your eyes

  of everything you love

  your hair will writhe

  and hiss on your shoulder

  they will order you

  to give it up if you do

  you will bring the temple down

  if you do not they will

  january 1991

  they have sent our boy

  to muffle himself

  in the sand. our son

  who has worshipped skin,

  pale and visible as heaven,

  all his life,

  who has practiced the actual

  name of God,

  who knows himself to be

  the very photograph of Adam.

  yes, our best boy is there

  with his bright-eyed sister,

  both of them waiting in dunes

  distant as Mars

  to shutter the dark veiled lids

  of not our kind.

  they, who are not us, they have

  no life we recognize,

  no heaven we can care about,

  no word for God we can pronounce.

  we do not know them,

  do not want to know them,

  do not want this lying at night

  all over the bare stone county

  dreaming of desert for the first time

  and of death and our boy and his sister

  and them and us.

  dear jesse helms,

  something is happening.

  something obscene.

  in the night sky

  the stars are bursting

  into flame. thousands

  and thousands of lights

  are pouring down onto

  the children of allah,

  and jesse,

  the smart bombs do not recognize

  the babies. something

  is happening obscene.

  they are shrouding words so that

  families cannot find them.

  civilian deaths have become

  collateral damage, bullets

  are anti-personnel. jesse,

  the fear is anti-personnel.

  jesse, the hate is anti-personnel.

  jesse, the war is anti-personnel,

  and something awful is happening.

  something obscene.

  if i should

  to clark kent

  enter the darkest room

  in my house and speak

  with my own voice, at last,

  about its awful furniture,

  pulling apart the covering

  over the dusty bodies; the randy

  father, the husband holding ice

  in his hand like a blessing,

  the mother bleeding into herself

  and the small imploding girl,

  i say if i should walk into

  that web, who will come flying

  after me, leaping tall buildings?

  you?

  further note to clark

  do you know how hard this is for me?

  do you know what you’re asking?

  what i can promise to be is water,

  water plain and direct as Niagara.

  unsparing of myself, unsparing of

  the cliff i batter, but also unsparing

  of you, tourist. the question for me is

  how long can i cling to this edge?

  the question for you is

  what have you ever traveled toward

  more than your own safety?

  begin here

  in the dark

  where the girl is

  sleeping

  begin with a shadow

  rising on the wall

  no

  begin with a spear

  of salt like a tongue

  no

  begin with a swollen

  horn or finger

  no

  no begin here

  something in the girl

  is wakening some

  thing in the girl

  is falling

  deeper and deeper

  asleep

  night vision

  the girl fits her body in

  to the space between the bed

  and the wall. she is a stalk,

  exhausted. she will do some

  thing with this. she will

  surround these bones with flesh.

  she will cultivate night vision.

  she will train her tongue

  to lie still in her mouth and listen.

  the girl slips into sleep.

  her dream is red and raging.

  she will remember

  to build something human with it.

  fury

  for mama

  remember this.

  she is standing by

  the furnace.

  the coals

  glisten like rubies.

  her hand is crying.

  her hand is clutching

  a sheaf of papers.

  poems.

  she gives them up.

  they burn

  jewels into jewels.

  her eyes are animals.

  each hank of her hair

  is a serpent’s obedient

  wife.

  she will never recover.

  remember. there is nothing

  you will not bear

  for this woman’s sake.

  cigarettes

  my father burned us all. ash

  fell from his hand onto our beds,

  onto our tables and chairs.

  ours was the roof the sirens

  rushed to at night

  mistaking the glow of his pain

  for flame. nothing is burning here,

  my father would laugh, ignoring

  my charred pillow, ignoring his own

  smoldering halls.

  final note to clark

  they had it wrong,

  the old comics.

  you are only clark kent

  after all. oh,

  mild mannered mister,

  why did i think you could fix it?

  how you must have wondered

  to see me taking chances,

  dancing on the edge of words,

  pointing out the bad guys,

  dreaming your x-ray vision

  could see the beauty in me.

  what did i expect? what

  did i hope for? we are who we are,

  two faithful readers,

  not wonder woman and not superman.

  note, passed to superman

  sweet jesus, superman,

  if i had seen you

  dressed in your blue suit

  i would have known you.

  maybe that choirboy clark

  can stand around

  listening to stories

&nbs
p; but not you, not with

  metropolis to save

  and every crook in town

  filthy with kryptonite.

  lord, man of steel,

  i understand the cape,

  the leggings, the whole

  ball of wax.

  you can trust me,

  there is no planet stranger

  than the one i’m from.

  love the human

  —Gary Snyder

  the rough weight of it

  scarring its own back

  the dirt under the fingernails

  the bloody cock love

  the thin line secting the belly

  the small gatherings

  gathered in sorrow or joy

  love the silences

  love the terrible noise

  love the stink of it

  love it all love

  even the improbable foot even

  the surprised and ungrateful eye

  splendor

  seeker of visions

  what does this mean

  to see walking men

  wrapped in the color of death,

  to hear from their tongue

  such difficult syllables?

  are they the spirits

  of our hope

  or the pale ghosts of our future?

  who will believe the red road

  will not run on forever?

  who will believe

  a tribe of ice might live

  and we might not?

  columbus day ’91

  Nothing is told us about Sisyphus in the underworld.

  —Albert Camus

  nothing about the moment

  just after the ball fits itself

  into the bottom of the hill

  and the world is suspended

  and i become king of this country

  all imps and imposters watching

  me,

  waiting me, and i decide, i decide

  whether or not i will allow

  this myth to live. i slide

  myself down. demons restoke the

  fire.

  i push my shoulder into the round

  world and taste in my mouth

  how sweet power is, the story

  gods never tell.

  atlas

  i am used to the heft of it

  sitting against my rib,

  used to the ridges of forest,

  used to the way my thumb

  slips into the sea as i pull

  it tight. something is sweet

  in the thick odor of flesh

  burning and sweating and bearing young.

  i have learned to carry it

  the way a poor man learns

  to carry everything.

  sarah’s promise

  who understands better than i

  the hunger in old bones

  for a son? so here we are,

  abraham with his faith

  and i my fury. jehovah,

  i march into the thicket

  of your need and promise you

  the children of young women,

  yours for a thousand years.

  their faith will send them to you,

  docile as abraham. now,

  speak to my husband.

  spare me my one good boy.

  naomi watches as ruth sleeps

  she clings to me

  like a shadow

  when all that i wish

  is to sit alone

  longing for my husband,

  my sons.

  she has promised

  to follow me,

  to become me

  if i allow it.

  i am leading her

  to boaz country.

  he will find her beautiful

  and place her among

  his concubines.

  jehovah willing

  i can grieve in peace.

  cain

  so this is what it means

  to be an old man;

  every member of my body

  limp and unsatisfied,

  father to sons who never knew

  my father, husband to the

  sister of the east,

  and all night, in the rocky

  land of nod,

  listening to the thunderous

  roll of voices,

  unable to tell them where

  my brother is.

  leda 1

  there is nothing luminous

  about this.

  they took my children.

  i live alone in the backside

  of the village.

  my mother moved

  to another town. my father

  follows me around the well,

  his thick lips slavering,

  and at night my dreams are full

  of the cursing of me

  fucking god fucking me.

  leda 2

  a note on visitations

  sometimes another star chooses.

  the ones coming in from the east

  are dagger-fingered men,

  princes of no known kingdom.

  the animals are raised up in their stalls

  battering the stable door.

  sometimes it all goes badly;

  the inn is strewn with feathers,

  the old husband suspicious,

  and the fur between her thighs

  is the only shining thing.

  leda 3

  a personal note (re: visitations)

  always pyrotechnics;

  stars spinning into phalluses

  of light, serpents promising

  sweetness, their forked tongues

  thick and erect, patriarchs of bird

  exposing themselves in the air.

  this skin is sick with loneliness.

  You want what a man wants,

  next time come as a man

  or don’t come.

  far memory

  a poem in seven parts

  1

  convent

  my knees recall the pockets

  worn into the stone floor,

  my hands, tracing against the wall

  their original name, remember

  the cold brush of brick, and the smell

  of the brick powdery and wet

  and the light finding its way in

  through the high bars.

  and also the sisters singing

  at matins, their sweet music

  the voice of the universe at peace

  and the candles their light the light

  at the beginning of creation

  and the wonderful simplicity of prayer

  smooth along the wooden beads

  and certainly attended.

  2

  someone inside me remembers

  that my knees must be hidden away

  that my hair must be shorn

  so that vanity will not test me

  that my fingers are places of prayer

  and are holy that my body is promised

  to something more certain

  than myself

  3

  again

  born in the year of war

  on the day of perpetual help.

  come from the house

  of stillness

  through the soft gate

  of a silent mother.

  come to a betraying father.

  come to a husband who would one day

  rise and enter a holy house.

  come to wrestle with you again,

  passion, old disobedient friend,

  through the secular days and nights

  of another life.

  4

  trying to understand this life

  who did i fail, who

  did i cease to protect

  that i should wake each morning

  facing the cold north?

  perhaps there is a cart

  somewhere in history

  of children crying “sister

&nbs
p; save us” as she walks away.

  the woman walks into my dreams

  dragging her old habit.

  i turn from her, shivering,

  to begin another afternoon

  of rescue, rescue.

  5

  sinnerman

  horizontal one evening

  on the cold stone,

  my cross burning into

  my breast, did i dream

  through my veil

  of his fingers digging

  and is this the dream

  again, him, collarless

  over me, calling me back

  to the stones of this world

  and my own whispered

  hosanna?

  6

  karma

  the habit is heavy.

  you feel its weight

  pulling around your ankles

  for a hundred years.

  the broken vows

  hang against your breasts,

  each bead a word

  that beats you.

  even now

  to hear the words

  defend

  protect

  goodbye

  lost or

  alone

  is to be washed in sorrow.

  and in this life

  there is no retreat

  no sanctuary

  no whole abiding

  sister.

 

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