by Joanne Rock
“I guessed as much since you told me you haven’t been with anyone else since they locked up Alteri.” He reached through the darkness inside the vehicle to slide his hand under her hair and massage the back of her neck.
He didn’t say any more about the matter, leaving it up to her to try and express a knotted bunch of worries that she didn’t completely understand herself. Why couldn’t she be one of those women who just enjoyed sex for sex’s sake without all the accompanying tenderness?
“I pride myself on being hard-nosed in a lot of areas of my life, Sean, but sex isn’t one of them. I…enjoyed the other night. But I can’t make love in a recreational way because that’s just not me. I mean, one night to take the edge off after it had been so many years—that I can forgive myself for. But I’m not the kind of person who can separate my feelings from sex.”
“And you don’t have feelings for me.” The warmth in his voice had vanished and it took Donata a minute to understand how he had interpreted her words.
“Uh—no. That’s not quite what I meant.” She hadn’t intended to hurt him and it caught her off guard to think maybe she had. Could he have feelings for her so soon? “I just didn’t get the impression that you were looking for anything more from me than what we shared last time, and frankly, I’m not interested in messing around just for the sake of great orgasms.”
“Damn, woman, you sure can cut to the chase.”
“I’m just trying to be honest.” Something that became more and more difficult the deeper she got involved with Sean since owning up to her emotions didn’t come easily. Better to erect a few boundaries now. She slid into a parking space on his street about half a block away from his building. “I really value that from people in my life these days, and I hold myself accountable for dealing as squarely with others as I’d want them to be with me.”
He leaned over the console to shut off the ignition, dropping one hand onto her knee while he fingered the back of her neck with the other.
“But you haven’t given me a chance to be honest with you since you left in a hurry the other night and all our time since then has been dedicated to the investigation. You can’t possibly know what I’m thinking about us when you don’t give me any time with you outside of work.”
Nervous tension threaded through her at the suggestion of a heart-to-heart and she didn’t think she was ready to handle wading through the aftermath of what they’d done. Could she afford to be that honest when she wasn’t even sure what she wanted these days?
“I’m not at my best tonight after the long drive.” She knew it was a weak excuse, but they had worked their tails off to set up the room at the bed-and-breakfast and to make appearances around town to help spread the word Donata Casale was back in Sergio’s old stomping ground.
Who would take the bait? One of his friends whose pockets were empty now that Sergio was in jail? One of his mistresses who coveted Donata’s position as his live-in?
“Fine. So we don’t attempt some drawn-out discussion tonight. But you can’t shut me out without giving me a chance to talk to you.” His hand slid up her thigh with pulse-hammering effect and she found herself wishing she drove a car with a bench seat.
She nodded jerkily, her body unwilling to move anywhere that Sean wasn’t steering her. His hand paused at her hip and then slid under her jacket and the blouse beneath it to graze the bare skin at her waist. He curved his other arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer to his side of the car and the temptation of his mouth.
“And until you give me that chance to talk, I’m going to provide you with a few things to think about.”
He slanted his lips over hers in a heated melding of mouths, his tongue slick and hot as he dipped inside for a thorough taste. The intimate act his kiss mimicked was suddenly imprinted on her brain, reminding her of all the experiences they hadn’t gotten to share in their short time together when she’d been wound so tightly she couldn’t last through the most decadent of sexual acts.
And how did he know that this blatant kiss would remind her so keenly?
A sharp pang of want shot through her as he lifted her over the console to settle her in his lap. They weren’t exactly in a position of privacy here since anyone on the street would be able to see them through the windshield. But it was dark out and she’d parked on the opposite end of the street from the coffee shop so there wasn’t much foot traffic.
She wound her arms around him as he shifted sideways in his seat to give her more leg room. A taller woman might not have enough head clearance on his lap, but she couldn’t have been any more delectably positioned on his muscular thigh with his mouth still planted on hers.
The temperature in the car climbed a few degrees as she stroked his hair in silent encouragement. She didn’t want this kiss to end, no matter what logical protests her rational brain concocted. The fire inside could take charge for a few minutes and kissing eliminated the need for thinking.
And it seemed like she waved goodbye to practical worries just in time since his hand on her waist skimmed higher beneath her blouse to brush the underside of one silk-covered breast. Her yelp of pleasure filled the car interior. His thumb stroked upward over the fabric to tease the peak quickly tightening at his touch.
His tortured groan was followed by a soft curse as he broke away.
“That’s probably enough to think about for one night.” He allowed himself one last soft pinch to her aching nipple before he slid his hand out from under her shirt. Donata felt the teasing last stroke all the way to her womb.
Her heart tripped in its rapid beat as she contemplated a night alone stretching in front of her when Sean so clearly wanted her to come upstairs. With her thighs settled so snugly across his lap, she knew exactly how much he wanted her with him tonight.
“It’s too much to think about,” she protested, the nerve endings in her lips buzzing pleasantly from his kiss. She gathered fists full of his T-shirt, and rocked closer to him, wondering how a man could start something so delicious if he had no intention of finishing it.
Of finishing her.
He wrapped his hands around her hips to still her.
“I only meant to remind you how hot it would be.”
“Looks like you reminded me a little too well.” She took a deep breath to steady herself and only succeeded in pressing her breasts more firmly against his chest. And, Lord have mercy, that felt good. “Do you care to tell me how I’m supposed to sleep tonight?”
He kissed her again, his tongue sliding over hers and melting all resistance until he pulled away again.
“Damned if I know. I sure as hell won’t be sleeping.” His breath came fast and his heart pounded manically beneath hers.
Or was that her heart drumming incessantly?
“Maybe one more time wouldn’t hurt.” In the back of her mind, she probably knew better, but what choice did she have when her only other option was to spontaneously combust? “Isn’t sex a scientific need? Right after food and shelter, it’s sex, right?”
He levered open the car door then and spun her around so she could put her feet on the pavement.
“It is for us, apparently.” He grabbed her keys before locking the car door behind him. He took her hand and tugged her up the street toward his building. “Who would have thought two such practical people would turn into raving sex fiends when faced with the prospect of a little necking?”
She hastened her step to keep up with him, not sure if she was making good decisions anymore but unable to walk away from him. From this.
She noticed his hands fumbled on the keys before he got the locks turned, the grim set to his jaw indicating how seriously he took this. Did he feel compelled to be with her the same way she felt compelled to be with him?
God, she hoped so. Her desire for Sean was driven purely by choice. She could have been with any number of men over the past few years, her life filled with honorable guys ever since the day she’d entered the police academy. But she hadn’t want
ed anyone until Sean.
And, if she was honest with herself, maybe that had made life easier for her since avoiding men had freed her from the need to trust her romantic judgment again.
“Come on in.” He drew her into the building and shut the door behind them, but he spun her around before she got to the stairs. “I can’t go any farther without another taste of you.”
And then he was kissing her again, backing her into the banister in the middle of the foyer. She welcomed the hard press of the polished handrail into her back, the only thing keeping her on her feet when he applied such devastating skill to ravishing her mouth. Her senses. His fingers walked up the outside of her thighs, making her wish her slacks would fall away so he could touch her bare skin. Or better yet, she wished his jeans would fall away so she could touch his bare skin.
“Upstairs,” she murmured, reaching for the handrail to steady herself for the climb to his apartment. “I can’t do this without unraveling.”
He pulled away, his hazel gaze sizzling her insides with a look of pure fire. She would have given him everything right here if he’d kissed her again, so she started up the steps on quivering legs, knowing they needed to get behind closed doors soon. His frustrated growl made her smile as he followed her, and the trip up two flights was punctuated with occasional caresses on the backs of her calves, her thighs, her butt, from hands he couldn’t keep to himself.
By the time they reached his apartment door, she gladly took a small measure of sensual revenge while he unbolted the locks. She licked his cheek and unbuckled his belt with slow deliberation while he worked the keys, her hand hovering over his zipper.
When he opened the door to his apartment, she knew there was no turning back. And even though her hunger for him had her stepping over the threshold toward an enticing possible future, in the back of her mind she couldn’t help but wonder if the ugly truth of her past followed hot on her heels.
CHAPTER 8
SEAN SLAMMED THE DOOR so hard the windows rattled.
He didn’t know how he’d managed to lure this incredible woman to his apartment, but he wasn’t about to question fate when it burned red-hot and tempting right in front of him. She slipped off her shoes on his front mat, a simple act of familiarity that turned something over inside him. A woman’s bare feet shouldn’t turn him on this much, but knowing he’d won Donata over tonight, knowing the fire between them had roared past her defenses to land her here against her practical intentions—that turned him on a whole hell of a lot.
“Happy to see me, Mr. Beringer?” She slid out of her jacket as she wandered closer, her breasts straining the fabric of her blouse when she arched her arms back to let the blazer fall free.
He realized he was grinning and damned if he could stop himself. He felt as though he’d just won the lottery.
“You’d put a smile on any guy’s face.” He bracketed her waist with his hands and drew her to him, his thumbs circling her hip bones above the top of low-slung pants.
“That’s where you’re wrong.” She slid her hands up his shirt slowly, taking her time. “I don’t put a smile on very many male faces at all, so when I do, you can consider yourself sort of special.”
When she tugged the shirt off his shoulders, she pressed forward enough to brush her breasts over his bare chest and he got the distinct impression she was going to pay him back for his aggressive kisses in the car.
“Special isn’t quite the word for how I’m feeling.” He wanted to lay her back and take possession of this barefooted woman who looked so sure of herself and so comfortable in his home. He wanted to feel the primal satisfaction that came with lying on top of her, easing her legs apart and making her his.
Instead, she unzipped his jeans and lowered his boxers to touch him.
“No?” She flicked her tongue over his chest, a quick dart of pink feminine flesh before she looked up at him through long, dark lashes. “Just imagine how special you’re going to feel by the time I wipe the smile off your face again tonight.”
He appreciated a woman who knew what she wanted and how to get it. Yes, ma’am, he surely did. But her in-your-face bold promise reminded him that she’d angled to call the sexual shots last time, too. A point that made him curious as he unfastened her blouse and stripped her to a yellow satin bra.
Did she have to maintain control?
Maybe a better man wouldn’t have tested the point. He had no doubt that she could deliver on her promise to wipe the smile from his face. Already she was doing a hell of a job of it as she lowered herself to her knees in front of him. No guy said no to this.
He could scarcely even think with her tongue sliding skillfully up and down his shaft, his cock growing painfully heavy as she guided him inside her small mouth.
It would be so easy to forget all about the power dynamics and just lose himself inside her—wherever she wanted him. But didn’t he owe her better than that?
Didn’t he want more than that from her?
Tough to recall when she gathered up her full breasts in her hands and pressed the soft swells on either side of an erection that throbbed so hard his eyes crossed. Every fiber of his being demanded he stop thinking and simply enjoy the moment. Except for one cursed freaking fiber, apparently. That vastly outnumbered part of him said he shouldn’t waste the few chances this woman gave him by being as blind as the last man fortunate enough to touch her.
“Wait.” With superhuman effort, he pulled himself away from the erotic thrill ride of her voluptuous breasts.
Dazed confusion and pleasure registered in her eyes as she peered up at him. Her lips were dark red and plump from her efforts, her breasts spilling out of the yellow bra to nudge his chest as he pulled her to her feet.
“What?” Her hands went back to the part of him that wanted her without question.
Definitely a woman who wanted to be in charge.
“I didn’t get to taste you last time.” He bent his head to her breast and drew on the stiff peak, needing to keep the sexual connection after she’d managed to fire him up so damn fast. “I’m going to address that oversight this time.”
Her hands stilled on him for a moment, a fact that made it easier to think, to strategize, to remember all too vividly that it was better to give than receive when it came to sex. Well, actually either was damn good. But equally good.
He unfastened her bra and shifted his attention to her other breast, thinking maybe he’d imagined Donata’s need for control. Inflamed by the scent of her, the heat of her skin, his hands drifted lower to help her shimmy out of her pants. They fell away in no time, leaving her standing in the middle of his living room in lemon yellow panties and giving him a serious thirst for lemonade.
But as he kissed his way south toward what he wanted, she seemed to shake herself out of sexual compliance. Stepping back, she tucked her thumbs into the waistband of her panties and stretched the elastic in a teasing display as she gyrated her hips to silent music.
“You want me to give you a private show?” Arching up on her toes, she spun around to present him with a view of her sweetly curved ass and the dimples just above each plump cheek.
She swayed her hips in a slow mimic of sex as she peered back over one shoulder.
He’d never had a lap dance before, but this was one female he’d gladly have invited onto his lap.
Damn, but she was good at making him forget what he was trying to do.
Too tempted by her dance to watch anymore, he wrapped her up in his arms, catching her from behind and holding her tight to his chest.
“Donata.” He spoke softly into her ear, her blond curls tickling his cheek. “I’d never hurt you.”
She stilled her seductive wriggle, tension stiffening her shoulders.
“I know that.” She sounded sincere. Surprised, even. “I’d never be with you if I didn’t trust you…physically.”
Her qualifier spoke volumes about issues he wasn’t ready to tackle. But if it was true, it raised more questions he
did need to address.
No matter that having her spooned half-naked against him made him want to address other things.
“Then why do you have to be in charge? Why are you holding back?”
His hand found relatively safe terrain at her waist and he palmed the slight curve of her belly, stroking the soft skin while he waited.
“I don’t know what you mean,” she said finally, her voice slightly elevated in tone and a surefire indication she was lying.
“Come on, Donata.” He kept her wrapped in his arms, hoping he hadn’t screwed himself over by asking questions she didn’t want to face. “One of the things I admire most about you is that you speak your mind. Don’t turn quiet on me now.”
“I don’t have to be in charge.” She relaxed in his grasp a little bit, just enough so that he’d feel the difference, but not nearly enough to indicate she’d shrugged off deeper tensions.
“Honey, I hate to break this to you, but between the way you took control of things the last time we were together and your total discomfort with any role that involves receiving pleasure instead of doling it out, I’d say you’re either hell-bent on being in charge or else…you like the power-trip factor of being a sexual dynamo.”
He hadn’t really considered the second scenario, but maybe she fit the profile as a woman who’d been taken advantage of sexually as a teenager.
Judging by her sudden rigid limbs in his arms, however, he didn’t think she would agree.
“And just what the hell would you know?” She twisted around to look at him as she broke free of his hold. “I’m putting myself at risk enough just by messing around with a guy I’m working with. Why can’t you enjoy what I’m ready to give instead of elbowing for more?”
She crossed her arms over her breasts and glared at him in the middle of his living room, communicating with her expression how much of a lowlife she considered him.
“I’m not asking you to give more.” He reached out to skim a hand along her hips that remained too damn far away for his liking. “I’m asking you to relax. To forget about trying to impress me since you’ve already bowled me over. Just let me…touch you.”
